Just Call Me For Dinner

You call me "Snowflake"

This is because I bring up the fact that I don't like it when you say stupid shit in my presence. I am sorry you feel you can't express you particular flavor of hatred in today's world. Wait... No... I am not.

You may lament the perceived loss of "freedom of speech", but I challenge you to show my how you can't say anything you want. You can. Go for it. Just don't look surprised when people look at you like YOU'RE the asshole.

You have every Constitutionally guaranteed right to spout whatever hatred is in your heart. If you are such a bad ass and a person of conviction, then you damn well better have the conviction to face the reactions.

One thing about snowflakes... One at a time, we are not a threat... Put a million of us to task? We shut down airports. We shut down highways. Hell, in Texas, if five snowflakes are seen, school is cancelled.

You call me "Leftist"

This is because I do not side with the Right? Fine.

I do not side with Corporate Overlords. I do not side with Big Insurance. I do not side with Big Pharma. I do not side with the Prison Industrial Complex. I do not side with asking for a bloated defense budget, while screaming, "Cut spending!!!".

If being "Leftist" means that I am for single payer health care, so be it. If being "Leftist" means I want to see minimum sentencing thrown out, so be it. If being "Leftist" means it puts me further away from The LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE, sign me up. Twice.

If being a leftist means I do not side with an Attorney General, whose sole reason for hating marijuana is that his Big Tobacco Paymasters tell him to... Yeah... Lefty McLeftLeft. All day. Twice on Sundays.

You call me "Cuck"

Derived by the term "Cuckold", as in a man who is being cheated on by his wife. Basically, it is calling someone a "little bitch".

I would love to ask a question to any of Nazi peeps out there marching... I see just a bunch of tiki torch carrying white boys... Not a woman in your midst... IF, and it is a big ol' if, you have girlfriends, or wives... Who is taking care of them back home whilst you are out... with a bunch of dudes... taking a moonlight stroll???

I can hear your reasoning... "We are men... expressing our views... admiring each other's strength... and dag nabbit... Billy Joe Jim Bob's eyes just sssssssssparkle in the torchlight!"

"Hello, Pot? This is Kettle. You're black."

You call me "Socialist"

I am okay with this one too. I believe in a better society. FOR ALL. Even the people I don't agree with or who don't look like me.

There is only one race I want to win. It's the fucking human race.

If we are going to move forward, WE. ARE. GOING. TO. HAVE. TO. MOVE. FORWARD. While I understand that there is a overwhelming sense of nostalgia for the past, it can't be lingered on to the point where it is a risk to the future.

"You wanna steal from the rich and give to the poor."

Whoa there, Sally. I want it where the rich do not buy and sell politicians like trading cards, and dictate legislation to keep them rich, and able to destroy lives through no oversight.

If that makes me a Socialist, I wear the label with pride.

You call me "Fag"/"Pussy"/"Bitch"

This is you trying to get a rise out of me. This is you with no argument to rational thought or reasoning. This is you attacking the person because their message is without flaw.

One person pointed out that, in the picture in last weeks blog, there were signs with "LOVE" on them. The image captured an instrument of hate, in the form of ball-less twat in an automobile, plowing into a crowd of people who were promoting "LOVE"...

Now... you may be focusing on the fact that I just called the driver a "ball-less twat". Instead on the fact that it was a picture literally capturing Love vs. Hate...

"How is that any different then them calling you names?"

Well, Cletus, the driver, in fact, has no no balls, and IS a twat. I am neither a homosexual, nor am I unable to defend myself/female reproductive organ (and amusement park!), nor am I a female dog.

If the driver had any balls, he would gotten out of the car and faced people like a man. No... He is a ball-less, murdering, piece of shit, twat. Not name calling... Statement of fact.

You keep labeling me. You keep dismissing me. You keep thinking you are intimidating me. You keep marginalizing me.

Do NOT, for a moment, think I will not defend myself.

I would love to defend myself. A lot. To a disturbing, ambulance needing, degree.

______________________________________

By being called these things, the "alt-Right", or whatever veneer Nazis are using these days, it shows you are doing something right.

If you are angering Nazis... Continue.

Does this mean that they should not be allowed to march or protest? Hell NO! They have every right to. To be honest, I want them to... I like them marching more than the KKK.

The KKKowards wear hoods... Nazis don't.

The White Supreme-Cysts that were photographed last week in Charlottesville?

They are getting fired from their jobs.

They are getting booted off dating sites.

They are posting videos of themselves crying, and wondering why "everybody hates them."

You CAN call me "Laughing my ass off."

An empty space I'd glady share,

d

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I Thought Virginia Was For Lovers

Hate is powerful.

It erodes common sense and logical reasoning. It allows a message that you KNOW is wrong to nestle itself into your brain and be fruitful and multiply and grow, and spread, taking away the resources you need to actually THINK FOR YOURSELF.

Hate is taught. Haters of the same thing are only bolstered and strengthened in numbers. A person can feel bad about themselves, wondering "Why do I hate whatever it is that I hate so much... Is there something wrong with me?" (Yes, by the way)

Now, said person sees that there is a protest against the very thing that they were almost, and correctly, ashamed to admit... Imagine the elation! They have found their people! They can be free and no longer feel, at their CORE, that there is anything wrong with them. Must be liberating!

Hate is a fuel. It is an energy source. I will say that 75% of the times I have struggled and achieved success was in NO way, shape, or form a testament to my "can-do" attitude, or "superior work ethic"... No... It was more, "That ass hat does not think I can pull this off... I ain't going to give that smug fuck stick the satisfaction. I fucking hate them and will rub this in their face!"

And then I heard a song by the mighty Metallica. "Wasting My Hate". The lyric of "You think you're worthy now? You think even enough to raise the brow?"

The aforementioned smug fuck stick was stealing my fuel... Hellllll no. I am now much, much more selective in whom I bestow my hate. They know who they are. If you have read more than two of these blogs, you do too.

And then it's done... I let it go. I said my piece to find my peace.

I "said" my piece. I did not go out and feel the need to march through the streets, impeding the flow of commercial traffic in order to let my hate be known...

Unlike these dickless Virginia Nazis.

Fuck. This is 2017. TWO THOUSAND, SEVENTEEN!

Here is the breakdown... The "Unite the Right" (aka alt-Right, aka Nazis, aka White Supreme-Cysts), on Friday night, grabbed their un-American tiki torches, and marched down to protest the counter protesters to their planned protest on Saturday...

Methinks they doth protest too much...

They surrounded the non racist protesters and started screaming Nazi slogans and macing and pepper spraying people who had gathered for a non violent protest.

Many are wondering, "WHERE IN THE FUCK WERE THE POLICE?" Good question... Really. Can anyone answer that? (WHATEVER YOU DO... don't Google "kkk infiltrated law enforcement" - or click on that ever so helpful link.)

On Saturday, The Vaginia Nazis were set to have their protest. This is legal. This is protected. I am all for having the idiots in one place. I think it is a perfect place to take pictures of "Homo Sapiens Micro Genitalia". Commit those faces to memory. If you own a small business, memorize the slogan, "We reserve the right to refuse service to Nazi Fuck Faced Pieces of Shit, like you. BIG SMILE! BIG SMILE!" (said to the tune of "Sieg Heil" and instead of a full handed salute, just the index finger, directing them to the door.)

Now, the protest was over the Governor planning to remove a statue of a loser. A Confederate general. I don't know which one, and could not care less. I am all for erasing stupidity and errors of the past. I would not cling to ignorance, slavery, and losing as "heritage"... Pick, or better yet, MAKE a better fucking heritage!

There was a counter protest, also legal, also protected, doing their thing.

There were already reports of violence in Charlottesville. The Governor had declared a state of emergency. And then...

James Alex Fields, Jr. decides... premeditates... the driving of his car into a crowded street of protestors.

A 32 year old woman was killed, 19 injured. This was an act of domestic terrorism. If  THE LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE does not respond as such, do you think the Mayor of London will tweet about it???

If the driver's named was Muhammad or Abdul... What would have been Loser Boy's reaction then?

Hate is powerful. Hate is taught. Hate is a fuel.

However...

Hate is consuming. Hate drains you to feed itself. When it is done with you, it will toss your withered carcass on the heap with the others and move on to the next morsel.

Hate will never win... This is a flare up. It will eventually deplete itself. I think this is Hate's last big push... and then... it will be containable... Never fully extinguished, but contained.

And, for the record, this is a culmination brought to you by people like THE LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE - Who has never, and WILL never condemn the White Supreme-Cysts. Even David Goddamned Duke was marching and citing THE LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE as his inspiration...

THE LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE's statement regarding the deaths, violence and total fuckery by the Alt-Right? (from his private golf course in New Jersey - read that again...)

"We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides, on many sides."

And in a follow up tweet, sent condolences to the woman who lost her life, and it ended with, of course, "so sad!"

First - Fuck you. I condemn hatred... But I understand it...

Second - Is that sad like when you and Schwarzenegger were discussing "The Apprentice" ratings? That level of sadness?

What is sad is that you have a "leader" who stirs up bigotry and division on the campaign trail. Who promotes violence on the campaign trail. Who then is elected, even though LOSING THE POPULAR VOTE, and STILL has never really condemned the alt-Right. Whose cabinet and adviser's are essentially poster children for "supremacy" and "privilege"...

Gov. McAuliffe... You have my sympathy... You have to speak to THE LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE. You will try and convey how HIS actions may have contributed to this horror. You will try and connect the dots for him, step by step of who is to blame... and you will get silence on the phone. If in person, you will get a blank, soulless stare returned.

If you have that much hate in your heart... If you feel elation and belonging with the fucking NAZI Party??? It is time for you to realize, you are wrong. You are adhering to a way of thinking that the WORLD went to war to eradicate.

That level of hate had no place then. It has no place now.

Please let it go. You will not win. Whatever message... or wrongs you feel you need to voice... They are never going to be heard when all we can see is a fucking swastika.

_____________________________________________

If a dog ripped apart your copy of "Incredible Hulk #181", first appearance of Wolverine, you can say "I am not a fan of dogs, particularly that one."

If homosexuals came into your family's Thanksgiving dinner party, and started performing sodomy at an enthusiastic rate, and during the squad humping portion of the performance, some flavored lube got in your eye... I can see you being "Not a fan of that lifestyle."

I can't make the leap to "ALL DOGS MUST DIE!" or "GOD HATES FAGS".

Those who make that leap, all too readily, are a special breed... Their extinction will be met with celebration.

Condolences,

d

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Suspension of Disbelief

I missed last week's entry... I started twice, but ended up scrapping it because it felt contrived and ill conceived. I just was not in the right head space. I had read an article that if you don't really believe in what you write, the readers will feel it.

With that in mind...

The LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE is a fucking idiot. Believe THAT.

I have repeated said that I didn't want to make my blog a repeated bashing of the mentally ill... but for fuck's sake... The guy makes it too tempting. Let's look at some recent greatest hits.

The Boy Scouts JamborHe Won't Shut The Fuck Up

How difficult is it to give a speech to an organization and not make it political. An organization that promotes some decent philosophical and moral viewpoints. An organization who holds a big rally, mainly comprised of people who CAN'T FUCKING VOTE!

By bring up the fact that last WINNER OF BOTH THE POPULAR VOTE AND ELECTORAL COLLEGE, TWICE, did not attend a Jamboree, the Orange One went for cheap applause points.

Well, LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE, maybe he did not attend because he wanted to be on the right side of history. President Obama was fighting for marriage equality. He was fighting for equal rights. The Boy Scouts of America were not really that welcoming to those ideas.

President Obama DID send in a recorded message for the attendees. It was his way of addressing the children, but still giving a cold shoulder to the organization. In other words,  President Obama was presidential, not petulant.

3 Tweets/Unlawful Orders 

The scariest aspect of the current administration is the fact that the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE is the "Commander In Chief". I actually feel bad for any enlisted person who has to salute that piece of shit, draft dodging, LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE.

If I were a general, I would find every excuse to never be in the same room with that person.

In late July, the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE, tweeted, over three tweets, that due to "costs" and "disruption", transgender people will not be allowed to serve in the United States Military.

First... The delay between tweets was of "Holy Shit" magnitude. The first tweet ended with "the United States Government will not accept or allow"...

The next tweet came NINE MINUTES later. It was reported that some generals were getting a little more than frazzled because you just don't know what kind of horse shit will spew forth from this ass clown (who... by the way... was the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE). Some were concerned that he would declare war against North Korea.... via tweet...

The first part of the first tweet also included the phrasing, "After consultation with my generals and military experts..."

What are their names? Is it your Vice President Pence, aka "He Who Hates Gays"? Was it Sebastian "Nazi In Waiting" Gorka (this guy is a complete cunt nugget - look him up)? Was it Steve "Reported Self Fellatio Enthusiast" Bannon?

Thankfully, most generals have stated that they do not take orders from fucking tweets.

Second... To blame it on "cost"... Puh leeeeeeeez! It took about thirty seconds for media outlets, fake or not, to do let everyone know that particular piece of "Reasoning" was utter nonsense.

10x more spent on erectile dysfunction medication. That was the first one I saw.

Everyone pretty much agreed that the upper limit of medical expenses for transgender medical costs was about 8.4 million dollars. That is out of a 6.2 BILLION dollar budget.

In April, the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE launched 59 Tomahawk missiles into Syria. The cost of replacing them is about a million bucks each. So... if he had launched 50.... MATH, PEOPLE!

In his campaign, the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE had promised to protect the LGBTQ community. I guess by not allowing them to serve in all the wars he is probably going to start... In a warped as fuck way of looking at it... He is fulfilling his promise.

"Don't be too nice."

While addressing police officers in Long Island, the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE, spewed forth a tirade of such mind numbing, asinine, shit from his word hole, that it left me agog...

He spouted over and over again, how terrible things were in Chicago while on the campaign trail. This is where he first brought up "Super Tough Cookie Motorcycle Motorcade Cop". A cop who claimed that, if given the authority, could have Chicago cleaned up "in a matter of days."

At this speech, he brought him up again. One funny little issue... No one can find this cop...

The speech was a slap in the face and a kick in the balls to any ground gained in a very strained relationship between cops and citizens. Cops need to be held to a higher standard, and citizens need to understand that modern cops, in SOME cases, are fucking trigger happy, wussified, control freaks.

Cops are supposed to be respected... The job is tough, granted... but a lot of cops seem to think that they are "in mortal danger" if someone fucking sneezes... I would hope that if you are a person, who controls life and death on your hip, that you have a bigger set of balls.and an even bigger brain between your ears.

Maybe the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE just has a hard on for Chicago because the current mayor of Chi-Town was also a major player in the former administration and was/is more respected than anyone in the current administration...

And maybe because it is the former residence of the WINNER OF BOTH THE POPULAR VOTE AND ELECTORAL COLLEGE, TWICE.

"That White House is a real dump"

First and foremost, this is an unconfirmed quote. This was supposedly overheard in a locker room at a golf club. You know... the place that the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE said he would never get to see again because he would be working "sooooooo hard".

The sad part of the quote is, even if it is untrue, no one was shocked at the possibility of it being said.

There was no overwhelming, "PSHAW, I SAY!!! PSHAW!" by the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE's supporters.

More of a, "Yeah... I can see the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE saying that."

I remember here tell of a piss tape with Russian hookers... Same reaction.

I feel bad for comedians... They usually mock someone by emulating them to a more severe degree. They emphasis the character flaws in the targets of their jokes.

How...? I mean... Really? The LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE is a damn cartoon. He often remarks that the rest of the world is laughing at the United States of America...

No, Mr. LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE, they are laughing at you.

_______________________________________

I am not possessed of a willingness to suspend my critical faculties and believe the unbelievable; sacrifice of realism and logic for the sake of enjoyment. (Hey... THAT'S A DEFINITION!)

I get no "enjoyment" from this tragedy playing itself out before my eyes. I can't go a Scaramucci (new measurement of time - more than a week, less than two; about 10 days) without a new horror committed by the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE.

It does, however, make me able to kick out a blog I believe in.

And lastly, to all Game Warden's (the only law enforcement peeps with the authority to arrest a President)... When you slap the cuffs on the LOSER OF THE POPULAR VOTE, don't be too nice.

People try to put us d-down,

d

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Lifeline

After this week...

Just tell the people who you care about that you DO care. You never know if and when your simple act of saying "Hey." to someone will make their day.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 24/7/365

1-800-273-8255.

Please,

d

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Scare Tactics

I saw that North Korea has an inter-continental ballistic missile capable of reaching Alaska.

Kim Jung Un is not the most stable person on the planet. He still thinks Dennis Rodman is relevant... He has had people executed by shooting them with an ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUN!

When his pappy died, and he took over, there was some smack talk. I figured that was to be expected because, ya know... He had to "out crazy" his Pops. His Pops, who was bat shit crazy of the highest magnitude, rattled his sabers. He did this to keep control of his population... By standing up to the Big Bad U.S.A.! (without actually having to stand up to the big bad U.S.A.) Pure theatrics.

NOW... Kimmy has a nuke... And the means of delivery. This puts them as one of my biggest fears at the moment. It is not number one, and here is why...

Alaska is within the current range of the missile. More importantly, Alaska is where Sarah Palin and the rest of that shit show are... So, if it gets nuked I can see a silver lining. Horrific nightmare... Granted... But... At least some good would come out of it...

The next thing that keeps me up at night is climate change. A couple weekends ago, I spent time arguing with a climate change denier. Was stupid on my part... I know that... NOW...

"You think my, or your, putting plastic bottles in a separate container is doing anything? And if you don't separate glass and plastics, that you will cause the planet to die? Seems kind of egotistical."

"Well, if it were just me polluting, and consuming, and not giving a fuck, that would not be as detrimental to the planet. Let me ask you a question... Is a penny substantial? What about 7.37 billion pennies? Kinda makes a difference when you get to that number... Which just so happens to be the population of the Earth."

This week, the fear was brought to the forefront of my head because an iceberg, the size of Delaware broke off the Antarctic Shelf. When MAPS have to be redrawn... This is "not good".

I fear Climate Change because this is the only Earth we have.

I am afraid of religion. Religious types. People who think that others should worship the way they do. If they don't, well, there are just unaware of how awesome that person's delusion is!

You have people out there, in positions of power, using this "divinity" to hold sway over large masses. The sway being so great, they can get away with pedophilia, murder, and then every goddamn Sunday, they collect them tithes, yo!

Religion is supposed to be separate from the State in this country. I see that barrier eroding daily. I considered starting or contributing to an existing defense fund for the guy who keeps running into and smashing commandments statues outside courthouses. He is a super devout christian guy, but loves the country a little bit more.

People are trying to legislate morality... And there is nothing really more frightening than that...

Well...

There is a man... Currently, as of this writing, he is in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He holds millions of people's hopes and fears in his hands.

George R. R. Martin is the writer of a series of books that are the direct inspiration for HBO's "Game of Thrones". He is a pretty old dude... like 69 or some shit... He don't really look like he has enjoyed a "salad". Ever.

He has been working on the latest novel for longer than any of his fans would appreciate (SIX YEARS, GEORGE!!!). Neil Gaiman once responded to the critics of Georgie's less than rapid production, by simply stating, "George R. R. Martin is not your bitch." Fine... but even Neil wants to know who wins the game!!!!

Given his age, health, and general sedentary, writing lifestyle... Homeboy is gonna pop before his finishes!

This can't be allowed to happen. To make things even more fraught with peril... he still writes on "an old DOS machine running Wordstar 4.0"... Technological marvel of 1983!!!

Which will give out first? His heart or the processor in that machine????

The last, but definitely not least, colossal fear goes by many names... All of them conjuring a picture of ineptitude and a disregard for basic human decency... I simply refer to it by "45"

I seriously try not to bash this collective group of imbecilic, feces flinging, shaved apes... But for fuck's sake... I am truly frightened that I have participated in my last democratic election.

This week was jam packed with "What The Fuck?" moments. It is mortifying that the defense against collusion with a foreign government is, "Well, it turned out the  Russian lawyer we met with did not have any incriminating evidence, so... we couldn't collude. We sure as shit wanted to... But... It was just a waste of 20 min."

20 minutes that could have been spent doing what, Donnie Jr.???? Well... lessee... If you were to bend over, at the end of an active runway... perched on a stand... and allow the RUSSIAN Antonov An-225 Mirya, to fly directly into your rectum... You would, after 20 minutes of attempted anal breaching by the world's largest jet aircraft, successfully enter into a contest for "The World's Biggest Asshole". The main competition you would face would be your own actual asshole...

_______________________________________

These fears have one major ingredient... One overriding common denominator. People.

I am afraid when one man has power over an entire country.

It scares me how men have control over masses of people, reducing them to sheep, and actually calling them their "flock".

I am afraid I won't learn how a favorite book ends!!!! Mysteries suck, George... Winter is coming!

The current "administration" has got me shitting myself... and I have to be careful. Chronic gastronomical distress may end up being a preexisting condition.

Stay away from Captain Howdy,

d

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Last Call

About last weekend... I just needed a break. Entering into those long, lazy days of summer.

There are people out there that are concerned about yours truly. They have an idea that consumption of alcohol, done at a rate beyond their comfort levels, or ability to handle, is "Bad".

So... Let us explore proof that your Invisible Sky Daddy loves us... Booze!***

My relationship with booze is a little fuzzy... heh... I just re-read that... I can't remember if it was me, my brother, or me and my brother that found the keg at an Aunt's wedding. We were 3 and 4 or something... Jusssssst the right height.

Then there was a beer one of our friends found in an alley during the summer of  '83 or '84. So, our most glorious and taboo prize is a can of beer... Not a good beer... That has been in an concrete alley, baking in the Texas summer heat. If it were any warmer, that would not be carbonation causing bubbles, but bubbles brought on by temps reaching "boiling" status.

Then high school... Not Duncanville, TX... No... Augusta, KS.

Susan Whitaker, and friends, piled into her Mustang. I was found by them, wandering around my new town. I was introduced to something called "Purple Passion". Grape Soda + Everclear. Everclear is liquid death. 195 Proof.  About 95% alcohol.

I, not being aware of the rocket fuel involved, was hitting the 2 liter pretty decently. Before I knew it... I was not only funny as hell, I was charming as ALL HELL, could dance better, became 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.

In reality, I was a babbling, incoherent, spastic, belligerent douche. Still... Funny as hell... That was never in question.

Small town Kansas... Friday nights... Boredom... Yeah, lots of booze. Mostly shitty beer.

The difference between High School consumption and consumption during my USAF years was the amount of camouflage being worn. That, AND the quality of beer. I was in Tacoma at the height of the microbrewery explosion. Had some very nice beers.

I only drank with regularity when I was single in the USAF. When I am married, I guess I am more depressed, so... let's not compound that shit...

In the USAF, we could rationalize the semblance of control by going out for drinks only on days that ended in "y".

We always had one in the group that tore it up the day before, that would be the designated non polluted person. Ensuring we all got home safe n sound. Only once, Kelly Kabbot did pass out on McChord AFB's golf course. As some Colonel's were getting in 18 holes, early Saturday morning.

We might have been told to ratchet it back a bit...

I got a part time job, while on active duty, on the weekends... Just so I would have less time to drink... Funny thing... That job started at 5 PM... Air Force ended at 3:30 PM... You'd be amazed how tore up a determined, 24 year old guy can get in 90 minutes. Lesson learned there is... NOTHING beats a job you don't need!

The USAF was the epitome of social drinking. We went out as a crew. 10 to 20 deep, each and every night.

The day after I was discharged... I think I had a beer. Single. Uno. Ein. Un. One. The two weeks before that? Between a sixer and twelve pack. Nightly...

After the USAF, I would have a beer occasionally while married to X2. Her family, once realizing that I would only accept a beer at gatherings after being asked three times, would greet me with, "Hey Dougie... Wanna beer? Wanna beer? Wanna beer?"

I had a six pack of beer in the fridge for a Super Bowl. I think I finished it off the next Super Bowl. Tasted a little skunky...

In between X2 and X3, I discovered my hetero life mate. The man who will always be welcome in any residence I ever dwell. He listens. He whispers. He gets me, and I get him.

Jack Daniel's. Old No. 7. Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey. Distilled & Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery. Lynchburg, Tenn USA.

I mix that with a little Coca Cola... And life is suddenly brought sharper into focus. I mix more than a few of those and life is suddenly a bit more fuzzy and less "sucky". Thanks, Elroy!

My friend and I would walk into the Chili's in Waxahachie on a Friday night, and the bartender would, without fail, go get another bottle of Jack from the back. She knew she would need it.

During X3, I did not drink that much... What was the point? Nothing could have helped that mess.

After... Operation: "Resume Life Enjoyment" was a go. There was a new understanding and appreciation this time though. A more sophisticated approach. I did not drink to get drunk and wild. I drank because I enjoyed the flavor. I drank because I wanted to reward my not losing my shit on the copious amount of people who deserved it. I drank to mellow out.

Discovered mead at the Ren Faire... read about that here! My love of that nectar is well documented...

These days... It ebbs and flows. For a stretch, it will only be on weekends... If I know I will be attending a 4 day event, where drinking is rampant, I will increase my consumption to build my tolerance for the event."Getting into drinkin' shape!"  After an event, there will come a weening off period.

As long as I stick to my rules... I am okay.

1) Don't be a dick. Don't let my "good time" impede someone else's "good time".

2) After 7 PM. I will not drink until after 1900 hours. Day drinking may commence once or twice a month. Only on Saturdays. Such as a nice Saturday, when writing a blog about booze. (It's today!!! Cheers!)

2.5) "A man's got to know his limitations." - Dirty Harry. Don't get sick. So stupid.

3) May drink one day during the week. The rest of the imbibing is done on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

4) Always mixed. Never just straight Jack. If I have no cokes... I don't drink. I may not have food in the fridge... but there will be cokes.

5) Know why I'm drinking. Could be anything. Reward. Weekend. Don't drink just to drink. Have a reason.

Now... As I stated earlier... People get concerned with booze. A friend was worried about another mutual friend's consumption. She asked me to confront our mutual friend about it.

"Um... He is a grown ass man. So... No?"

I was not mad at her, because I knew she was coming from a place of love. Still... No.

People really like to enforce their shortcomings on you. "I get stupid when I drink, and since I am the epicenter of the entire fucking universe, YOU must get stupid when YOU drink."

No, Judgy McJudgeNuts., I don't get stupid. I get funnier, charming as ALL HELL, dance better, 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.

_____________________________________________

Why is it that when ladies post a fuck tonne of memes about wine consumption, it is met with applause, and a chorus of "You go, Gurrrrl!"'s.

I make a string of posts... all about Jack Therapy... and I get more private messages from people who have not uttered a word to me in years...

Again, knowing that they are coming from a place of caring - I bit no heads off. "Thanks for the concern and all that". Grown ass man. Proceeding with enthusiasm... And Jack.

I don't need it. I want it I earned it... and it is because <insert reason here>

Helps the writing process... yeah... that's it...

You can not kill what you did not create,

d

The blog brought to you by Belly, Peeping Tom & Kid Koala, ZZ Top, Metallica, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Alice In Chains, Seaweed, Slipknot*, Asia, Goo Goo Dolls, and Nirvana.

*** - Alcoholism is not a joke. I am not making light of people with that awful disease. IF I were to ever feel like I was losing control, I would seek help. It is covered on my insur... Oh, wait... It's now a pre-existing condition... We are fucked. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!

The The Real Real Thing Thing

I took a friend to the Metallica concert last Friday night. She and I had dated before, and I still consider her a good friend, and had offered her the extra ticket back in the day.

She informed that she had been on a couple of dates with a guy since my offer, and the cessation of our romantic relationship. My initial thought was that I did not want to intrude on the potential of something super new and delicate. I informed her of my concern, and she stated that she was going.

It being Metallica... Couldn't blame her. Wise decision.

On the trip to AT&T Stadium (Wonderful venue by the way.), I asked her if the date had inquired about me...

"I told him you were 'brilliant'. He did not like that."

First... I loathe the questions you have to ask, but know you will not like the answers to. The ones were you gotta know... but you don't want to know... I knew where the guy was coming from.

As in many instances when asked a question along those lines I answer the question with a question, "Do you reeeeeally want to know the answer to that question? If so, I will tell you. I can't make you like the answer, but you will know it is the honest truth."

So... Her first adjective for me was "Brilliant". Nice compliment!

Hmm.

This week I had to spend a $50 rewards thingy at Best Buy, or it would expire. I got the fifty bucks by buying my new Galaxy S8+ (Love that sumbitch! Battery from HELL in it!) on my Best Buy Credit Card, which got me the reward points, and then using my bank card to pay the Best Buy bill, getting points on the bank card.

Even I will pat myself on the back for that one. Not changing my name to High "Point Master" Bleed anytime soon though.

So, I snagged a new Magic Bullet blender, which I use to make protein shakes in. The one I have was a hand me down from Mom and Dad. It has served it's time and pulled a good shift. While still functional, blending milk and protein powder sounds like I put gravel, nails, and baby teeth in a small blender.

That purchase left about 16 bucks to go... Hey! I like vinyl records... Let's look up some! I go through a couple of pages... and there it is! Faith No More's 1989 beast of a record - "The Real Thing". Oooh... deluxe edition! TIGHT! You damn right we adding to cart!

Received the package on Thursday. It is sitting next to my turntable now... and when proof reading this blog begins, I will throw it on.

Sitting directly beneath it... is the other copy of Faith No More's 1989 beast of a record - "The Real Thing" that I have had for quite sometime. I found it this morning. Took five seconds to find it in my collection.

So... "Brilliant"?

Most anyone who has known me longer than a day, has probably heard me state that, "I have my moments.", in response to compliments and insult alike.

And I guess that is the way of a lot of things. You take the dumbest person on Earth... and at the right moment... BOOM! they can (and recently have) become President or something. It is all about the "moments".

I do some absolutely stupid shit.

I also have done some really, really stupid shit.

Thankfully, I usually only end up hurting myself. It's okay... I am a Self Contained Sadist... AND Masochist...

Now, I do some smart stuff now and then. It's just that you don't recall the "good" as easily.

In "Confessions of a Winning Poker Player", Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career."

Here's why... When you get beat... It leaves a SCAR! A lasting impression. One that you hopefully learn from.

This is why when I here someone call someone an idiot at work or something, I never jump in on the abuse. I usually toss my "We all have our moments... some, more than others."

The people who spend their time on one end of the spectrum - being stupid, are ones that I just don't spend a lot of time around. If that works for them and they are happy as a pig in shit, in their ignorance, and I am not getting rained on by swine feces... More power to them.

I will just wait to see the video when it goes viral on YouTube.

___________________________

Brilliant or no, I am just trying to be the best me I can be.

I do have a way with words... Been told that this here blog has helped people! Imagine that shit? My words... coming from this duplicate record owning fool's brain chasm... have helped?

I must have told a funny joke or something. Laughter being the best medicine and all. Penicillin... Insulin... The Smallpox and Polio Vaccines...Ether... Morphine... Aspirin... NOPE! Laughter!

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." 

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!" 

I am gonna cure cancer!

One minute here, and one minute there,

d

This blog brought to you by Rodrigo Y Gabriela,  Bryan Adams, Daft Punk, Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, America, Queensryche, System of A Down, Shooting Guns, and FAITH NO MORE*!

They Had Their Own Club!

So, Transformers are "Robots in Disguise". The "bad" guys are called the "Decepticons", the "good" guys are the "Autobots".

Being in disguise is a form of deception at worst, a cunning ruse at best. By this rational, the Autobots are deceitful little bitches in their own right. At least the Decpticons are upfront about it.

"Hey, they are being jerks!"

"What the hell what did you expect???"

I guess the point of the opening salvo is... Everyone lies. Even your heroes.

A couple of weeks ago, a good friend suggested I do a blog about "Lying". Mmmmkay... Kind of a broad topic but here goes...

I will tackle it by dusting off my collegiate journalism experience. Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.

Who lies?

Everybody. Ev. Er. Ree. Bod. Dee. Even the big, blue, Boy Scout, Superman lies. Clark Kent is a lie. Clark Kent is a manufactured identity that allows Kal-El from Krypton to move about freely and the human race.

Sure... He "saves the planet" and all... But still...

What is a lie?

This is a matter of perspective and, in some cases, a matter of timing. What one person thinks to be true and factual to one person, comes across as a giant steaming pile of horseshit to another.

Ex: Religion.

Moving on...

When do people lie?

As I type this sentence, at least 45.9 million lies were told. All the time. Nonstop. Constant.

The timing of a lie comes into play... Will discuss that a little later.

Where do lies come from?

Prefrontal Cortex? Used car lots? People on dating sites?

Sorry, "Hot-E-In-Dallas6969", you are not 36... Unless you have numerical dyslexia and are 63, but due to your affliction... and if that is the case, then no... I still would not like to go out with you.

How do people lie?

Is there a lack of morals? Lack of empathy? I know people who can look right at a person, and lie to their face, and have that person thank them for it.

When it comes to communicating, the ability to speak may be the first thing we learn. Lying is in the top five. Three... top three.

So, how people lie is... they open their mouths and speak.

Why the fuck do people lie?

THAT is the big question. That really is the only question you want answered when someone lies to you.

The only reason that can offer any comfort is this: The truth hurts.

It does. The truth can just be a monster tsunami of devastatingly brutal hurt.

Truth hurts because when you are a kid, if you tell the truth when you only think you are busted... You ruin the possibility of getting away with whatever you are doing that you were not supposed to be doing. If you get busted lying, then you are completely and doubly jacked.

Truth hurts the bottom line. Advertisers have a million ways to get you to buy things. The labels on their products, the slogans they use, and even how they are displayed at the store. All of that effort is geared to do one thing: Move product. If the "truth" gets stretched a little...

Truth hurts, but so does the realization that someone did not think you could handle the reality of the situation. This could be emotionally, intellectually, maybe even physically. They had to manufacture an artifical campaign in order to coddle you along... To pwotect yor wittle hart or bwain...

Then you wonder if they were right... Which pisses you off more...

Now, the level of the lie can be fun to dissect as well. Was it a little white one? Was it a lie of omission? Oooh, lie of ignorance?

The little white lie are the ones where the person being lied to may actually benefit by being deceived. Going to their surprise birthday party or something and they ask if you had plans... so you say no.

Basically... No one gets hurt. The term "little white lie" has been around for a long, long time. The usage of "white" is denoting "peace", "pure" and "not intending harm". Thanks, Google.

Lies of omission are probably the most common. When dating, if asked, "Have you ever been married?". I can say, and have said, "Yes, but it didn't work out..."

That will lead to the follow up, "What happened?"

"Which marriage?"

"How many were there???"

"Three."

So, would I have lied if I just kept it at the original answer? Say two months go by with me not having mentioned being married thrice previously and THEN it comes out... What level of "dick-ishness" is that?

Lies of ignorance may the most easily forgiven. A person can have a set of facts, and by the time they are able to relay them to someone, the situation, and by intrinsic properties, the facts, may have changed. Timing is everything.

In the USAF, a crew of us were at the dorm's hole-in-the-wall bar, and a friend was off at a corner table, breaking up with his then girlfriend. A female, who we were all interested in, approached me and was inquiring as to my friends relationship status.

"Hold on..."

(Girlfriend looks happy to see friend)

"Waaaaait..."

(Girlfriend looks confused.)

 "Allllllllmost...."

(Girlfriend slaps friend)

"Aaaand... Yup..."

(Ex Girlfriend leaves in a huff)

"He's single."

TIMING!

Funny, but in that gray area in terms of morality.

I know my friend who requested this blog wanted me to discuss lying... Dunno if I hit her mark. It really is just too broad and faceted a topic. There is no answer as to "Why?", that can ease the pain of being lied to.

I can tell you from experience, honesty is the absolutely the best policy. One of the loneliest as well.

______________________________________

I never really did the whole lying thing while dating. I never made myself taller or younger on the profile I presented to the masses. Figured I would like to actually meet someone, so it would be discovered pretty quickly that I am not 6' 2" tall.

I like to think of myself as an honest person... Do I stretch, bend, and use carefully worded statements in regards to the truth? Hells yes. I break out fucking origami skills with the truth sometimes. I basically am guilty of telling off white lies. Eggshell lies? Ivory lies? Bone lies!

Would I intentionally lie with the express purpose of hurting a friend?

No. No I would not.

If asked, would I tell them that their shirt that says "F.BI. - Female Body Inspector" looks awesome? If they seem to love it... Why not?

You seal your own coffin,

d

This blog brought to you by David Bowie (Still alive!), Prince (Hated the color purple.), Foreigner (Were very patriotic, but no one knows to which country.), Creedence Clearwater Revival (Wanted to play on a stage 100 feet tall), Rush (Really from Mexico, but thought Canada sounded "more legit".), The Eagles (Had a rider with "Omelets made with eagle eggs"), Tenacious D (Once played a concert for the Iraqi Republican Guard), Kniles (Hit a farmers truck loaded with prize winning bull semen with their tour bus.), Metallica* (Their live show is "meh".), Van Halen (Eddie passes guitars to apes at zoos, and mimics what they do.), Nirvana (Cobain once swallowed a sheet of sandpaper to sound "raspy".), Eurythmics (They were paid a million dollars to write Zimbabwe's national anthem), Nazereth ("Love Hurts" is really about STD's), Anthrax (Named after the lesser known Babylonian God of Being Silly),  Ozzy Osbourne (Died in 1982... wait... that probably is true...), Jimmy Page + The Black Crowes (This concert was attended by all living Nobel Peace Prize winners.), Rammestein (Were really Austrian!), and Alice In Chains (Wanted to have a tuba solo on "Rooster")

Just Say "Thank You"

Two simple words that, if applied correctly, will cease a conversation, and leave both parties feeling like a million bucks...

"Thank you."

"Applied correctly". I have my issues with receiving compliments. I am getting better, because I was instructed to "just say thank you". (HEY! That would make an excellent blog title!)

After divorcing X3, who was not the most forthcoming with praise or compliments, I was pretty out of practice when it came to hearing something nice. Think of it like a muscle... one that has atrophied.

So, I go on a date... First one... And well, there was some baiting and a switching going on. She was not what was advertised. She gave me a compliment, but it just did not resonate. It was due to the unexpected, new sensation... and the fact that I was considering the source.

I dated another lady, more attractive, and she let loose a barrage of compliments, but those also felt foreign... BUT the source was less mountain troll-esque, so it held a little more gravitas.

Then I dated a little, redheaded ass kicker and she was the one that ingrained the mantra of "Just Say 'Thank You'", that I still rely on to this very day, when I am confronted with a compliment. She was also really cute, so the source held more weight.

Last week's blog used a room analogy, with success I might add, so... Bump it up to a house! YOUR house.

Let's say you are throwing a shindig. So, before peeps show up, you are doing what? Busting your ass cleaning the joint. There are things you are doing that haven't been done since you moved in. Vacuuming along the baseboards - WITH the slender rectangle attachment thingy!

Now, when peeps arrive, and throw out, "Wow! The place looks great!"

Your mind, if it is anything like mine (and if it is... shame on you! You know what for!), comes back with, "You goddamned right the place looks great, Mother Fucker. Spent all mother fucking morning cleaning the bitch!"

There is a 10 to 15% chance I will say that out loud.

Flipping the scenario a bit... You have a friend swinging by to pick up something. You figure you are gonna clean soon enough, and we will throw a hangover on you as well. You just ain't cleaning shit. They will be in and out in minutes - the mere fact you are wearing pants is a victory. To you, the house is a sty. Pigs would walk in and go, "I am outtie... I have my standards, man."

Your friend shows up, "Wow! The place looks great!"

Your mind, comes back with, "What third-world-shit-hole situation you got goin' on over at your place???"

There is a 85 to 90% chance I will say that out loud.

There are things that we are more apt to accept praise for. If it is something you worked at, Put effort into, and succeeded in that goal - Bring on the adulation! I don't care how much anyone says they are not a fan of external validation, a compliment at the right time, for the right reason... feels pretty damn good.

I think some discomfort comes when you truly do something because it is the right thing to do, not seeking praise or kudos. If I were to see an old lady with a flat tire and I offer to fix it, I did not do it for reward. I did not do it to gain favor. I did it because I would like to think that if my Mom was ever in trouble, someone would do the same.

I saw a clip of a Brit going around, asking "Can I help you with anything?", and he talks about how there was a lot of hesitance. People were not as welcoming, and on one level, you can understand it. Random bloke comes up and asks you that... It would be shocking... AND THIS WAS IN BRITAIN! Where courtesy is BORN! In the U.S., you could probably get shot for doing that... By the police.

If people are unable, or just not geared, to accept help - which is sad - would the remedy be to start with words? With compliments?

Even that will be met with a myriad responses...

There is one audience everyone should start complimenting... effective immediately. To find this audience, simply find a mirror.

While it is true, we all have those days when we go by the mirror and catch a glimpse of the reflection and think, "I'm gonna die alone... and rightfully so...", but then there are those days you go by the mirror, give that one smile, and say, "You're a handsome devil. What's your name?"

I can't help but think that a kind word to the right person, including yourself, at the right time can mean the world to that person.

I was speaking to a lady friend from Austin, at an event in May. She told me that she was super self conscious of a dress she was wearing at the previous year's event. I saw and told her that she looked fan-bloody-tastic. She thanked me for that. There are those "Thank you"s that when spewed, are rote in their delivery. Every once in a while, someone really expresses a sincere gratitude...

Just say "You're welcome."

______________________________

On the first day of June... I received a text...

Yeah, compliments are tricky. That one made me start having the feelz... So, what do I do? Deflect with humor. FACTUAL humor, but still...

If we get better at saying nice things to one another, will we, in fact, become better people?

I don't know, but you are fucking awesome!

Read the title again!

Don't let the sun catch you lying,

d

This blog brought to you by J. Geils Band, Audioslave, Sixpence None The Richer, Sex Pistols, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Van Halen, Shooting Guns, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, The Blues Brothers, Bush, Infant Sorrow, Iggy & The Stooges, Biz Markie, The Winery Dogs, Ray Charles*, Journey, Black Sabbath, Foo Fighters, Beastie boys, Ennio Morricone, Daft Punk, and Toadies,

Nous Aurons Toujours Paris.

Imagine there is a room. Four walls. Dimensions of 20 x 20 feet. No ceiling or roof. 75% of the room does not have a floor. Bottomless pit. Outside of the room there is nothing. Above it, only the Sun and stars...

In this room there are eight people, spread out over the various areas where there is floor. There are ways to get from one floored area to another. Jumping and what not.

In this room is a food and water dispenser accessible to all. It will regenerate and supply the eight people with food and water indefinitely.

The sun travels over head, as per usual. Weather and seasons and all that shit. WORK WITH ME!

If the room was left alone... All would be good. The eight people would survive - thrive even.

Until...

The people, having nothing better to do, started fucking. A lot. Tons. Bow chikka bow wow.

So, instead of eight people, now there are 456 people in this room with just 25% of it being able to have people on it.

One guy went and made the food and water dispenser a damn vending machine... And it is about to pop a gasket trying to feed all these people...

People are stressed, because they now have to work for the asshole who made the dispenser a vending machine so they can eat... So they start smoking. The cigarette provider is making bank and people are working for him so they can smoke... and eat... And all that eating leads to a lot of shit. Not a metaphor.

So... you have 456 people (and growing) smoking, stressed, in a small room filling up with shit, with a limited and dwindling food source... and someone says, "*cough*Hey... Is it getting *cough* hotter in here?"

The two people, who run the cigs and food, and have people fanning them religiously, say "No. No it is not, why do you ask?"

_______________________________

The Paris Climate Agreement was entered into by over 190 nations. Including China and North Korea. North Korean leaders, who believe it's SUPREME leader does not shit... even understand, "We are fucking this place up."

Israel and Palestine also are on board. Those two disagree on a few things, but both recognized, "This is all we got. If we don't have this shitty piece of land to argue over... Who are we as a people??? Let us save this world so we may try to eradicate each other from it!"

Nicaragua was a nation who did not sign the accord... ONLY because it was not STRICT ENOUGH!

Syria was another abstainer... Gee... Wonder if there is something going on there a tad more pressing?

So, why did The Failure In Chief leave the agreement entered by the previous, more capable administration? 

His reasoning of that it was a bad deal for America has the smallest fraction of credibility.

He was basing it cherry picked findings from a study in May. An example was $3,000,000,000,000,000 (three trillion) drop in gross domestic product. Oh noes!!! That is an ass load of zeros! Of course, that is spread out until 2040, but that is in the small itty bitty print....

The NERA report (aka "Cure For Insomnia"), shows that as a "worst case scenario". 1) No clean energy is there to compensate. 2) Other countries don't play by the rules and American companies relocate to skirt regulations. 3) Industries don't abide by the regulations. 

Corporations fucking over the world in order to make a buck? Whaaaaaaa? No! Not that bunch a swell guys!

The report also, maybe on purpose, does not talk about the gains... like... Being able to breathe? Maybe that could go in a "Pro" column somewhere? Maybe? 

Right... No one has monetized clean air... Yet... As of now, they are just choosing profits over clean air.

Also, 45 said the rest of the world was clapping when President Obama signed the agreement. Yes... It was good for the planet. Failing to see the point of that statement. He then said, "At what point does America get demeaned? At what point do they start laughing at us as a country? We don't want other leaders and other countries laughing at us anymore." (Excellent article by Richard Wolffe here)

With the most respect I can muster, Sir, if you want other countries to stop laughing at us... If you want America to cease being demeaned, then resign. Right fucking now. Please.

Climate change has it's deniers. For example - Old people. Science and old people is a tricky aspect. They don't like uncertainty.

"If'n it ain't 100% well then, by gum, it just inn't reliable! And I hear only 97% of climate scientists agree on this tomfoolery!"

Well, G-dawg... Let me put it this way... 100% of all climate scientists WITHOUT an oil company's hand directly up their rectum, moving their mouths agree that climate change is here. It is now. It has been drastically accelerated by humans. Take your Mylanta, hop on your Rascal, and skedaddle. Thanks for WWII and all...

This week I saw another group of people denying climate change and applauding 45's decision to dry hump the planet. Christians.

"Representative" Tim Walberg from Michigan actually said... these words came from his word hole... this man who is in charge of LAWS spewed forth...

"Well, as a Christian, I believe there is a creator in god who is much bigger than us. And I'm confident that, if there is a real problem, he can take care of it."

Like how he fixed Flint, there, eh, Skippy?  Is that a real enough problem?

All this flooding and hurricanes, and mega fires... All Gawd's plan... Seriously... Why do people elect these delusional fucks who WELCOME the end times???

I just don't think they like having to deal with an invisible power that actually DOES have an effect on their lives. This is also why there is no Wi-Fi in churches...

It is just too bad they are not willing to put 10% of their money to something that could actually do some good.

_______________________________

I might have done a blog about climate change... I have drank since then... It is getting more difficult to recall. Doesn't change the facts...

Like it or not, we are in that imaginary room. 

There is no door. There is no exit. 

With NASA getting it's budget slashed, discoveries like Trappist-1, will come with much less frequency. With the education system getting raped, and yes - I mean that word and do not use it lightly, we probably will not see the technological advances needed in order to leave our dying planet.

The only bright spot is in the sky... Microwaving us all. Defrost setting... almost done... *Ding*

Stone dead forever,

d

This blog brought to you by Led Zeppelin, Alan Silvestri, Edison Lighthouse, Mark Knophler, U2, Faith No More, Metallica*, The Mekons, Riggs, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Wolfmother, DJ Greyboy + Incubus, The Beatles, Chef, Korn, Aerosmith, The Zombies, and Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

Note: Those who know me, know I am not a fan of the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey language... "We Will Always Have Paris" is the title... And France is actually gaining some moxy in my opinion, Marcon's handshake mockery of 45 was a thing of beauty, and he told Putin to sacre his bleu... Noice!

Hello, Wall.

An army marches over the crest of a hill. Before them stands a castle, complete with high and mighty walls. The master of arms inside the castle, sends out a hundred men to meet the horde. These men are summarily slaughtered. The leader turns to his liege and says, "That sucked. Ever been under siege?"

It got me thinking about walls. Most of us have them. Self preservation makes them a must.

I can only intelligently speak to my own defenses. Some have called my walls insurmountable. A few wise ones, have noticed that while they may have gotten through the outside barrier, there are more barriers. oooh... Then there are more barriers. After that? You guessed it!!! More barriers. The rarefied few who make it past those, may glimpse something at the center. A core. A hardened, impenetrable, barrier that two people have ever been privy to.

One who made it in, pretty much laid my heart to waste, and led to stronger security. She was the second AND LAST one in. The first was allowed entry due to the fact I had not been betrayed yet and the construction of my walls had not even begun. Their absence probably caused the cornerstone to be laid.

My wall consists of antisocial behavior, consumption of alcohol, scathing wit and sarcasm, contempt for 99.9999999% of the population, and a pinch of "being an asshole" thrown in for good measure. Reminder... A wall is reactionary. (I will also state that my wall's exterior has signs pointing to an entrance. Feel free to knock.)

This is why walls are erected. Hurt. Betrayal. Love and friends lost.

People's walls grow as they get older. Everyone's set of walls have their own particular height and characteristics. My Mom's walls are not high. I would be hard pressed to say she has them. HOWEVER... She does have the power to call forth a barrier of coldness that if even approached will make your lips go blue. I have only seen it enacted when dealing with one person.

To live a life, where only ONE person is cast away, exiled from your walls... I can't imagine. I probably shun, either on purpose or inadvertently, five people daily. It's good to have goals.

The walls we build are critical for one's sense of security. Some may call it "hiding", and there is more than a ring of truth to that.

Back to the castle analogy. You meet someone. They are the invading army. You send out an expeditionary force to meet them on the field of battle... this is also known as "dating". When dating, you don't spill all your craziness on the first meeting... maybe on the sixth... "I like sitting in a kiddie pool of lime jello during full moons." See... Not really a first date convo...

If you are on a date, and you pretty much are convinced that your crazy and their crazy just ain't gonna gel together like gelatin and warm water... You pull your forces back within the safety of your walls.

Try envisioning the walls as a brick mural. Each brick, each stone, is a story. A reminder. A lesson to be learned from. The mortar could be blood. It could be sweat. It could be the strongest adhesive of an emotional wall... tears. Some of those stories may be comprised of many, many stones.

Understanding the construction of your walls just might be the best chance of limiting their height. If you meet someone, and realize that they are a carbon copy of your ex, your instinct may be to increase the height of your defenses. Another option is to revisit the original section of the wall... Reinforce the lessons learned during the initial construction.

Studies have shown that in the initial stages of a relationship, the chemical reactions in the brain are similar to that of heroin. I am beginning to think that it's more akin Nitroglycerin.

Just blowing holes in your walls. Allowing them into your most vulnerable areas.

You are defenseless. You are a smiling idiot as you allow this invading force access...

Hoping they... Praying they just don't hurt you.

When they do... They may have obliterated the memory of original transgression, where you were supposed to have learned your lesson from. So... you build the walls back. Stronger. Higher.

Yes... I just compared love to a supremely dangerous and unstable chemical. I just wonder how many of you, oh avid readers, just nodded and or winced.

The Great Wall of China is fantastic against Mongols. It is the absolute #1 Mongol Repelling Wall in all of the world. 

It couldn't stop a rat to save it's life. Seriously... Rats would go out, get diseased from the rotting corpses of Mongols and their horses, then come right back through the wall infecting people on the protected side.

No matter how high. No matter how formidable. There is always a way through.

 

Could be a rat.

Could be a smile.

___________________________________

I am now going to share how I walk through walls...

You don't have to scale a wall if you are invited in.

I state my agenda up front. I do not have a hidden one. I do not seek to loot or plunder. I do not seek to judge. I want to know the stories behind the walls. I want to get to know the person before they were dumped on by life and walls built up. I want to know the crazy thoughts. I want to know if it has to be lime jello?

If, for whatever reason, I am asked to leave... I do so. Over the years, I have learned that if you ever cared for that person, upon exiting, do not cause any damage on your exit. No matter how hurt you may be, just don't do it. You will regret it. Some words you can't take back.

Maybe a penance in whatever afterlife is that you are forced to walk forever, chained to all the stones YOU made people set in THEIR walls. It isn't the weight of the hurt you caused, more the weight of all the love you kept from happening by making someone's wall a little higher.

Hey you,

d

This blog brought to you by a Pink Floyd album... Do you need three guesses? I didn't think so.

Marnie

Monday, I learned that a friend committed suicide on Sunday.

I don't know the details. I don't really want to know the details.

I am hurt.

I am sad.

I am confused.

I am angry.

All of that is selfish. I am focused on how that action has affected me and my life. It has forced me to confront death in a manner that I was not expecting nor wanting to. I had a supremely excellent five day weekend that was usurped by the news on Monday.

As selfish as all that is... It is not as selfish as the act committed by her.

We dated for a moment a couple of years ago. She was insanely beautiful. Physically... Just "dayum". Then you added in her literally pure soul. She was coming out of a divorce and was crazy. I am not saying anything out of turn, or "crazy" in a derogatory way, but she was hurting.

However. Comma. She was love. She loved everyone. She gave bear hugs that would hurt. She snorted when she laughed. She talked to my dog more than she did me one night.

I know that I have a way with words, and I could have "entertained" (aka manipulated) something more with her. I did not want to take advantage of her, and told her, point blank, that she needed help. She agreed and sought some. To my knowledge it was something that she continued and it provided her with some much needed guidance.

FUCK...  I get this wave of anger... mostly at her... but then it redirects, "Well, ShitStick, when was the last time you reached out to her????" I look back and discover on Facebook, it was last October. I am almost positive there was some communication over the holidays via text... But I still feel like a fucking asshole and I get mad at me.

I then realize that is not being fair to myself.

As formidable I may consider myself to be, I ain't shit... Don't even register next to someone's own personal hell and pantheon of inner demons.

The confusion is trying to rationalize something like believing the world would be better off without me... I just can't... Egotistical as that sounds... There is a semblance of truth behind it.

At my lowest point, freshly divorced (for the first time!) and drinking daily and excessively... mostly out of hate for myself... Not once did I ever think about ending it all... No... it took my second marriage to bring those thoughts about.

The thought of having over 1600 friends on Facebook, like Marnie did,  is alien to me. I think at my highest, I hit 150, maybe? But that was Marnie. She never met a stranger. She cared about everybody. Ev. Er. Ree. Bod. Ee. The sadness I feel as I witness post after post appear in my feed, comes from this hurricane, this fucking onslaught of emotion... People saying goodbye to someone they love and made their lives brighter. Fuck... that hurt to write...

I feel for her family and the ones closest to her. I can not fathom the overriding "FUCKING WHY FUCKING WHY? WHY? ANSWER ME!" that is inevitable.

There are moments, weekly, that I think about the horrors of the world. I have to catch and stop myself or I will be crushed under the weight of it. It is why I "rant and rave" in this here blog. It may or may not be a contributing factor in my continuing love affair with one Jack Daniels.

If I were as kind, as loving, as caring, as soft, as gentle, as whatever the absolute opposite of "mean-spirited" is, as giving, as fucking beautiful as Marnie... Well... This world just might beat me too.

_______________________

I don't care if you know me. I don't care if we are the bestest buds in the world. Know that someone out there is rooting for you. They want the best for you. If that still is not enough, please call 1-800-273-8255. Talk to someone. Please.

This blog is selfish. Kind of a rehash a FB post from last night...I am the first to admit that, but fuck it. I wrote this to get this shit out of my head. To catch a glimpse of understanding. To cry. To maybe help someone.

I will be okay, I have no other option. I am upset (unhappy, disappointed, worried)... I just wish my friend the peace she could not find in this world.

Maybe in the next one, Marnie. I will see you later.

She loved George Harrison and Stevie Ray Vaughn,

d

This blog was brought to you by "What Is Life?", "My Sweet Lord", "Got My Mind Set On You", "Give Me Love", "While My Guitar Gently Weeps", "The Sky Is Crying", "Cold Shot", "Couldn't Stand The Weather", and "Little Wing".

To Sign Again?

For the last five days, I have not been privy to the news. I had been at a social engagement with 250 friends maintaining a nice enjoyable blood alcohol concentration. I focused, like, super hard.

The one piece of news that I could not avoid is that of Chris Cornell's passing. That really will add an extra level of already prevalent haunt to any and all songs where his vocals were gloriously utilized. Rest In Peace, Good Sir.

Now... Last week's shit show regarding the current administration is just another example of what to expect from a circus when you elect a clown.

The folks came down to watch the Damn Dog while I went and "Adult Spring Breaked" - Meaning it all went on a credit card. I was lucky enough to spend some quality time with them, doing what we normally do... bitch about the fuckery transpiring in the capital.

Dad brought up the idea that we need to "Voldemort" this douche. By that, I mean do not use his name. Seriously, petition all the major news stations, papers, media outlets, social media apps, radio stations, fucking smoke signals if need be... and tell them, for one week... Do. Not. Say. His. Name.

"The 45 President". "The President." "Our Commander In Chief.". Whatever... just no "T-word".

When the press, even the "Fake News", uses his given name, it gives his hard micro-cheeto penis an erection. It does NOT matter that the words before or after the usage of the name... I adamantly believe that he does not hear them.

"T***p is a colossal fucktard piece of shit." - His ego brain would see that, and if he CAN, in fact, read, would come away with "I am colossal... My hands are colossal."

"T***p has completely botched everything he has touched and is the greatest threat to the United States of America."  - That group of factual words gets butchered by his brain, and reassembled to come out his mouth sphincter as, "I am the greatest."

"T***p wants to fuck his own daughter."   - Gets transmorgifucked into "Have you seen her? I mean, c'mon?"

It is the name that drives him.

John Oliver's excellent broadcast, just last night, pointed out that the National Security Council, who give the President his briefings on global issues, have to use his name in order to keep his attention; "In as many paragraphs as we can because he keeps reading if he is mentioned."

FIRST, the intelligence brief has to be one page, memo style with "visual aids, like maps, charts, graphs and photos." Yes, because "Syria" is a fucking one page problem. With a map. Picture of Assad (With a circle around it, an arrow with the words "BAD HOMBRE" written in red - I might be dead on with that... but it is not confirmed... But every single one of you can totally envision it.)

This is his OWN team. Having to feed that vacuous, black hole of attention seeking ego.

Back to Dad's idea... Get ALL the media to just not use his name. One week of that and he will be flinging feces and twitting like a temper tantrum having 3 year old in a restaurant that you would like to drop kick out the door.

The fatal flaw of the plan... Fox "News". Before they agreed to this plan, they would have to form an exploratory committee to find where they put there "journalistic credibility". Indiana Jones would be a good candidate, since he is as fictional as the idea that Fox "News" ever HAD credibility to begin with.

Now... On to the title... We are going full prognostication mode... After Comey, the FBI will appoint a prosecutor. There will be all manner of shit found. There will be inquiries... And at the most critical time...

The fucker will resign.

This way... "I was never impeached."

"I was not run out of office, I left office."

"I was not found guilty - there was no trial."

As I am writing this, I am thinking of the biggest dick move... ya know, trying to be "presidential". Was thinking of Monopoly... When the game has gone on toooo long, and you are about to get caught stealing pink 50's from the bank, and you probably gonna be found to be bankrupt on the very next roll.

You knock the board over reaching for the Doritos.

That is what the bastard is gonna do. Let's just hope he doesn't realize - He's the one with the hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place that are gonna get toppled.

And let's hope he does realize that when that happens, there are no winners. Everyone just wasted their time.

_______________________________________

Man... Five days of not doing anything but eating, drinking, and hanging out with friends will really make you think - I do NOT want to go back to work.

On a positive note, got to hang with some friends. Made some new ones. Helped out some folks. Played chicken with a fire hydrant (it won, but I saw fear!!!!).

I am going to try and write more. If you have suggestions. Topics. Requests for stories. Want to know my opinion on something.., find me. I am not hard to get a hold of. Please. You will get full props... I will make ya infamous!

You could live easy if life stood still,

d

This blog brought to you by Wings, Harold Faltermeyer, Rush, Marvin Gaye + Tammi Tyrell, Stone Temple Pilots, Johnny Cash, Robert Palmer, Stevie Nicks, Dethklok, Cheap Trick*, The Doors, Weird Al, Savatage, Van Halen, and The Romantics.

To Visit Again

Would write more, but I have a short work week, and a 5 day weekend party thingy to pack/prep for... so... deal. This entry says it all...

http://www.highpointbleed.com/2014/05/maternal-spawning-unit.html

Give some love to your Moms. The ones who aren't with us... They are still with us... They never left us.

I love you Mom,

d

They Killed George, So I Stopped

This last week was a let down on a couple levels...

Physically, it was the first week back to the gym in two weeks (illness and training out of town). Those of you who do frequent the self abuse palaces enough know if you miss the gym, when you go back, you will be more sore than usual. I think this prompted the Boss to come knocking on my office door more than usual, just to make me have to get out of my chair.

Emotionally, I saw "Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2" and was leveled by Electric Light Orchestra's "Mr. Blue Sky". I found myself realizing that I too, was wondering what we had done wrong to make the blue skies hide away. Pretty much felt like this since early November. Anyone remember some tragedy that occurred? Might have made news...

When I heard this tune, I realized that happiness is now something I have to "work in to", I have to "prepare for happiness"... The reason being, I will soon learn of some fuckery that will make the blue skies go away.

Mentally, it was another week of assault... Let's begin, shall we?

You had FBI Director Comey, saying how he feels "mildly nauseous" thinking he may have had anything to do with the election going for the Loser In Chief. He also said that he had two choices, "Speak" or "Conceal".

Well, Jimmy...

Seeing as how AFTER the damage was done, you then came out and said, "Nope... Nothing there... But we had to drop her name in a inflammatory, conspiratorial manner 10 days before an election...", the option of "Conceal" is a moot fucking point as there was nothing to fucking conceal.

Also, as for his testimony... I have seen better acting from Vin Diesel. For the record, Vin Diesel sucks as an actor. The "Fast and Furious" movies are insipid. I am surprised they haven't nabbed him for a "Transformers" movie... oh wait... They have the Sir John Geilgud of our generation, Marky Mark Wahlturd...

Clinton, on Tuesday, directly accused Comey of being a big part of her losing. She coped to her own shortcomings... but did not hesitate to intimate that without Comey and da Ruskies, she would be President.

After all that hoopla, I watched live as the House of "Representatives" voted to fuck over America in order to appease old, rich, mostly white dudes.

The House, on it's 8,429th attempt (actually 54 attempts, but after the first ceremonial "We Are Sore Losers" vote to repeal, who's counting?), the Republicans got their wish... To make it so insurance companies can go back to raising rates "Because We Can", kicking you off their insurance for getting sick, and determining that "being human" is a preexisting condition.

Oh... The preexisting condition thing... Does not apply to elected officials... They made sure to PUT that on paper... FUCKERY!!!!

The only silver lining is that the Senate will pat the House on the head like you do to a smelly, but lovable mutt, and then promptly Ol' Yeller that shit.

Okay... Here's where it gets really scary...  On Friday, Trump The Impeachable, signed an Executive Order promoting "Religious Freedom". It basically made it easier for religious people to deny services, health coverage, RIGHTS, to people based on "Religious Reasons".

I am seriously thinking about becoming a Church. No taxes, could rape anybody I want - not go to jail AND get paid to move somewhere else, and I can just tell people to "Fuck off", as it would be a part of my religion. Good work if you can find it!

Friday, I was checking email, and Yahoo will play video clips now if your inbox is empty. I was getting some stuff ready for work and it was just playing in the background. It was a recap of the previous night's "Grey's Anatomy".

A boy with a tumor is not being allowed surgery by his parents... because "God will heal him."

Um... If you believe in the Invisible Sky Daddy,  who in the fuck do you think put the tumor there???

Long story short, the kid comes back to the hospital by himself, now blind due to tumor pressing against optic nerves, and a doctor does the operation. Removes tumor, much rejoicing after the commercial break... Til the dickhead Dad shows up. Lawsuit! He doesn't believe in modern medicine... but modern American Law, THAT he's down with.

Couple of things... 1) It reinforced the fact that their are NO "Christian" children. There are only the children of Christian parents. 2) 45 just made it easier for parents to deny their children life saving medical treatment by signing that order. 3) "Grey's Anatomy" is still on?

Finally, this very morning, I learned the list of countries I could escape to was shortened further. Ireland is investigating Stephen Fry for "Blasphemy", stemming from a 2015 interview. ALL he did was answer questions like, what he would say to God, if given the chance,

“I’d say ‘Bone cancer in children, what’s that about?’ How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid god who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain?”

Wait... That's blasphemous?

________________________

In this time of wanting to be a voice of resistance, and even being brilliantly urged to be vengeful, you have to be careful. I took down a post where I wished a certain world leader an aneurysm. Three guesses as to who - first two don't count.

This week though, I made my own error... I posted a fake meme. I didn't fact check. I posted something where Jeff Sessions, the nation's Attorney General, was quoted as saying, "The separation of church and state is unconstitutional". Sure enough, that Elmer Fudd looking bitch said that shit.

The next day, I saw a meme where Pence, our soon to be president - NOT that that is a good thing, was saying how "People don't need more health care, people need more Jesus care."

Turns out is was a fake. Now, I realize my mistake was not checking before posting. I just think it is pretty sad that after reading it, I was 100% sure that sort of verbal diarrhea would be something to erupt from that guy's word hole.

Be lawfully resistant. Be vengeful, But more importantly... Be correct.

Time to do the Thorazine shuffle**,

d

This blog brought to you by Savatage*, The Jesus Lizard, Anthrax, Tenacious D, Dethklok, Eminem, Foo Fighters, Sonny Rhodes, Graeme Revell, Don Henley, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Faith No More, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Butthole Surfers + Moby, Beck, Slayer, The White Stripes, David Bowie, Guns N' Roses, Metallica, and Ozzy Osbourne.

** -  Thorazine is an antipsychotic drug - Which should be prescribed in greater quantities - Hell, put it in the water like fluoride. It also causes involuntary muscle spasms... Hence, the "Thorazine shuffle". LEARNIN' IZ PHUN!!!

Do NOT Let Jesus Take The Wheel

First off, driving in sandals is dangerous. Second, I don't think Jesus would be allowed in the country under the current administration (Just getting my slam of the CockSmoker In Chief out of the way early on).

This Wednesday morning, I endured my third worst driving experience. It was the shortest of the top three, but no less taxing.

This last week, Monday through Thursday, I had to attend training. I will not get into specific locations (see reference below), but it amounted to my normal 1.5 mile, on suburban streets, commute being extended into a 39.4 mile, multiple interstate, 6 lane superhighway commute.

I have lived/driven in the DFW metroplex going on 20 years now. 20 years this September, come to think of it. I have faced the unrelenting hell of a daily commute into downtown Dallas from Arlington... WITH my second wife in the SAME car with me... GOOD TIMES!

For the last 4 years, I have been incredibly spoiled with my commute of about 8000 feet. So, I was not looking forward to the inevitable suck that was forthcoming.

When I get in the shower, I turn on the radio. I can time my routine pretty closely by knowing what the DJs are doing. "Okay, I should be getting out of the shower and drying off when they come back from this commercial break."

For the first time in almost a decade, I had to remember to listen to the traffic report.

The training started at 8:30 AM. I left my home at 7:00 AM. To go less than forty miles, I allotted ninety minutes. I knew that about seven of those miles would be side streets... stop lights... school buses...

I get to the highway, and... I am booking... I arrive at the building in DeSoto at 7:45. The initial thought of... "I am the world's greatest driver" did, in fact, pass through the head more than once.

The trip home... Bah-reeeeeez. The fears and hesitations vanquished.

Tuesday morning, I leave my house at ten after seven.... I arrive to the class with about 2 minutes to spare. Wreck on the highway... I am not a fan of a single digit miles per hour. I could feel my brain dusting off the tome of vulgarities reserved for being stuck in traffic..

"Oh, you want over now, you cock smoking, monkey fucking, shit heel?"

"Go suck a dead dog's ass, ya Beamer drivin' Beeeeyotch"

"I swear to all that is fucking holy AND fucking unholy, there better be a severed head up there."

Just truly vile shit.

Tuesday's trip home... Bah-reeeeeez.

Then came Wednesday morning.

There were storms moving through. I listened to the traffic report before I left, warnings to watch yourself, but no accidents mentioned for the roads I would be travelling. The DJs mentioned a lull (I have discovered I think this word sucks. "Lull".) between storm fronts... Well, I better get on the road...

I leave about 7:05. The side streets to the highways were not ideal, but no one was being too much of an asshat. I almost get to the highway, I am five cars from the light... I see the other street of the intersection's cars going... and going... and going... "Why in the name of St. Fuckery are we not moving?!?!?!?!?"..... Ah... Train... Damn train... Damn, dirty, rotten, stinking train.

When I FINALLY get to the highway, I am pleasantly surprised by the cadence and just flat out "respect" the motorists are giving each other... Decent spacing... People actually using turn signals for lane changes... Craziness! My guts, thus far clenched in worry began to ease up... I was coming up on the I 20, 635 merge south of Mesquite.

And then...

Within thirty seconds, it got dark. Not "morning" dark. Not "night" dark... No, no... "End of the world, all happiness is gone" dark.

And then...

The skies opened up like a woman if you play Otis Redding's "These Arms Of Mine" at the right time.

I have driven in some rain storms, really torrential ones... but nothing like this. My windshield wipers were glorified, synced metronomes. Good for nothing but keeping a beat. I could not see anything worth classifying out the back window.

I had moved over to the far left lane... ONLY because I could make out the yellow line of the shoulder. So... focus on the yellow... back to the road... no brake lights... back to yellow...

Whilst literally craning my neck forward trying to make out "Shapes"... Lightning flashes about 50 yards off the highway... So, it's dark and now my vision is fucked... like our nation's credibility with other nations level of fucked...

So... Back to the yellow... Is that semi? Nah... Okay that is a fucking semi... back to yellow...no brake lights... *tink*... back to yellow.... *Tink*... ?.... Yellow...

And then...

Hail. Dime sized mostly, some quarter sized. I have a low slung car. It is not "cavernous". When it hails in some cars... You hear it, and you wince but there is a "separation"... In my car, it was like I was wearing a football helmet, running around and getting hailed on (Sadly, I have done this... so I know of what I speak and have an actual basis of comparison.).

This shit show lasted about 10 minutes... To me... It probably actually lasted closer to 3 or 4.

Apparently, the train delay allowed the next line of storms just enough time to catch up with my route.

There were a couple cars that had spun off into the grass, then one full on wreck in the left lane for the rest of my journey. Mother Nature eased up from her bitch-fit and I took the time to peel my fingers out of their death grip on my steering wheel...

I made it to the campus with EIGHT minutes to spare, and no rain falling. The day had resumed just being overcast-cloudy vs. "Apocalypse Like" cloudy.

At least the class had donuts.

_____________________________

The boss texted... Asked if I made it... My reply was calm and measured. It was also the third revision that ended up being sent. I figured it was not her fault, so, she did not deserve the tirade and artillery barrage of f-bombs.

No damage that can be seen to the car... Thankful as all hell on that note.

I am kind of glad this happened. I had come to take my commute for granted. I have gained a new appreciation for my happy little jaunt. 

Friday morning's commute to work was 4 minutes, 25 seconds. Stupid goddamn school zonNo!!! Stop it... Just stop...

Faster than the speed of life,

d

This blog brought to you by Cheap Trick, Jet, Van Halen, The Beatles, System Of A Down, Joe Fuckin' Walsh, Huey Lewis & The News, Nirvana, Skillet, Tenacious D, Eminem, Pink Floyd, Danzig, Public Enemy, and Black Sabbath*.

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