MCMLXXX's

This week, at the behest of recommendations, by people whose opinion's I treat with merit, I started watching "Stranger Things" on Netflix.

My usual comment upon finishing the 8 part series is, "Get comfy and kiss eight hours of your life good bye."

It is truly, truly well done. I have heard it most aptly classified as "Stephen King book, co-directed by Steven Spielberg and John Carpenter, and soundtrack by John Carpenter."

Here's the theme from the 2016 show...

The credits come into play more in a bit... And "extended" just means they looped it five or six times. Just watch about 2 minutes, and you will get the gist... 

And here is one of my all time favorite "themes" from a movie...

Similarities abound, and Snake Plissken, for any reason, makes things more bad ass.

I was watching this program, nay... devouring this program and it made me realize that the 80's are getting more love nowadays. Spielberg's next big flick is going to be an adaptation of the only book written in the past decade I have read more than once, Ernest Cline's "Ready Player One".

That book is a friggin' love letter to the 80's. This also brought into focus that it is not just the 80's that is receiving the adoration... It is 80's GEEKDOM.

I came to the realization that people MY age are now in positions of power and influence in the halls of  the entertainment industry. They are enacting out all the wonderful fantasies from their own childhood... and paying homage to all the glorious reminders of geek along the way.

I already done the blog on geek... This is more my adoration of the 80's...

It was a pretty damn good time to grow up...

It was the decade where I and friends started going to movies solo... Mostly with a pack of friends, but it changed the experience somehow. You were no longer tethered to your parents. You were more than likely with your peers, and your honest and visceral reactions could be presented without fear of reprimand... "Holy Fuckballs... The fucking Delorean from the fucking future could FUCKING FLY!!!!" Ebert, I wasn't.

I mean "Raiders", and to a lesser extent "Temple", "Empire", "Return", "Fast Times" - Films you can say ONE WORD from the title, and people don't need to hear the rest... C'MON! "Fast Times" is two words... but you could just say "Phoebe" and most guys will KNOW. 

The musical journey I undertook in the 80's can never be measured... I had already been exposed to classic rock and roll, but the pantheon of groups and performers that shaped ME in that decade are too many to list here. Metallica... Guns N Roses... Faith No More... 

Well, basically any album with a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics" was a guaranteed purchase.

Thinking about the advent of MTV, and furthermore, ZZ Top videos... Brings me to the next point...

The 80's is also when I discovered that girls, while at one time "icky" and "cootie ridden", suddenly looked a little different and made me feel funny...

I remember talking on the phone for hours. Yes. Hours. Seeing how many coils of the phone cord I could wrap around my finger... Seeing how taut you could get the cord, and then swinging it around and around like a jump rope. (Some of you just smiled because you did THE EXACT SAME THING!) 

I remember saying goodbye to the title of "virgin". 

I remember literally shaking with the butterflies and excitement when my feelings of "love" were returned... And I remember the despair and utter hopelessness of when they weren't.

There were crushes... The word alone takes me to "Sixteen Candles", (OH SHIT!!! John Hughes movies are STAPLES of the 80's!!! C'MON!) with Ringwald's dad explaining that if they didn't hurt so much, they would have used a different word for them...

I managed to say "Hey" to one of my biggest crushes at the 20 year high school reunion... 20 years... One word... PROGRESS!

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Oh... and to wrap this trip down memory lane up... The credits on "Stranger Things"... I was watching them intently on the 8th, and final, episode. I noticed the there were the "imperfections". Little white spots that used to get on the actual film. Think of them as the "hiss/pops" on a vinyl record.

Seeing them reminded me about the 80's... Imperfections were expected, and accepted. Things were not digital... Things were not auto-tuned. They had a soul.

They were messed up. Just like me. Fer shure.

Gag me with a spoon,

d

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L8r.

Lunch was good. Leftover veggie and chicken stir fry. Little soy sauce to make it... well... "less healthy". Now, I have to wait for a nice respite to allow for digestion, before I head to the gym. Pretty much the last thing on my "To Do List" for the day.

Oh, there is an ass load of things I should accomplish. I just have no drive to do them. It is Sunday. It is the afternoon. It is SUMMER.

I sat down to start this here blog about an hour ago... But... Ooooh... New "Dr. Strange" trailer... Okay, blog time... Wait, what is this click bait?

Summer's activity level is inversely proportional to your age... As a child, you are GO GO GO during the summer... As your age increases, your activity level lowers... You know there are things you should do... You don't because the days are soooo long and you will get to them later. Later... The word just seems to be more readily used between June and August.

I should do some bike maintenance. Clean chain, oil it back up. That would be "outside" and it is quite swamp asstastic out there...

I should perform some up-keep on the blade arsenal... But... That would be a whole thing... And... I will get to it later.

I should do some caulking in the master bath, but... um... I just don't want to?

I was speaking with the Moms earlier this week. she asked if anything was going on, to which my reply of, "Not a damn thing." made me sigh in mild lamentation. Moms in her constant desire to see me "happy", was concerned at my depressed state.

I explained it was not "depression", more adherence to the financial plan... Summer is a good time to not do shit that costs money. You start to make plans, and then you look at the thermometer and decide, "I would rather not sweat my ass off today, thanks... Read a book in the AC? Sign me up."

As a child of the 80's, in Texas, I recall running the entire mile from the house to Armstrong Pool, swimming for a few six hours or so, then running the entire mile back home... Sometimes barefoot. Temps usually above triple digits. Rinse and repeat, all the live long summer...

When riding my bike one morning, a month or so ago, I passed by a honeysuckle bush, and the aroma sent me back to Goldman St. in Duncanville. Memories as thick as the humid air.

I can, with a great amount of certainty, guarantee that if you ask anybody, "What is one of your favorite moments from your childhood?"... It will be during the months of June, July, or August.

In Augusta, the summers consisted of lazy circuits, cruising around town. Making sure to go by the pool to see the girls... Stopping on occupied porches along State St., trying to find out where the nightly gatherings were going to be, after everyone got done with their summer jobs.

One of my most fond memories of summers in Augusta, was such a lazy day when there was a mid afternoon 15 minute downpour of rain. As Evil Ed and I cruised around, the already super heated pavement and lawns were causing the moisture to become a dense fog as it evaporated. Was spooky cool.

In the USAF, summers were contingent on your base. In Tacoma, WA... Summers were magical. The rain was warmer... But when the clouds wore off... so did the female's clothes. I never made it to Mt. Rainier in the three years I was up there, but when the sun came out, we knew EXACTLY what park to head to... "Grab the hackey sack, beer, frisbee, cooler, beer, towels... We need to get some ice and beer."

My summers these days consists of paying off spring expenditures. The ren faire. The May San Antonio excursion. Being all "adult" and what not. There is nothing really pressing, no appointments to be met. It is just the lazy days of summer.

As a kid, summer holds the main appeal of "No School". As an adult, it holds the appeal of "No 20 mph School Zones".

The last two July's have had been occupied by an ailing puppy. This year has been blissfully absent of said ailment. Yes, wood was knocked upon.

In summation, summer kicks all amounts of ass when you are a child. You are impervious to temperature. You are almost "outside" of time. Days last forever. It is a shame it is wasted on those who don't realize how truly fantastic that time is...

Before you know it, you are sitting around, on a Sunday, thinking of ways to not do what you should be doing. Ooh... "Wonder Woman" trailer...

Click.

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I DID clean the house today. Vacuumed, dusted, did a load of laundry. Domestic bliss shit. After hitting the "Publish" button up in the corner, and sharing this to ol' Facebook, I am going to hit the gym.

That counts for a productive day, doesn't it?

Later,

d

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American Future X

"If X did not act that way, then this would have never happened."

"Why aren't the good X's speaking out against the bad X's."

"I have a X friend. So I can't be prejudiced."

"What did you expect, it's that X mentality."

"It was the X culture that made that X think they were able to do the things they do."

"I know some X's do good stuff, but does it outweigh all the negative stuff done by X's?"

"You can always tell a X by the way they act."

"I have no problem with just one X, but when a whole bunch of X's show up, you just know there will be trouble."

"They are one of the 'good' X's"

"X lives matter."

"You know this will just lead to more X on Y violence..."

"I am not saying all X's are 'bad'... It's just that the ones who do wrong give all the other X's a bad name."

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So... Replace X (or Y) with the proper plurality of Blacks, Cops, Muslims, Gays, Christians, Atheists, Males, Females, the list goes on...

After a tragedy, the cries of, "We need to stand together" come out of the woodwork. Two days later, you will hear one of those sentences listed above. Just another sunrise in America.

Kierkegaard was no dummy. By labeling and making segments of the population fit one particular archetype in our brains, we can encapsulate all our emotions regard said segment, and ultimately... negate that segment of the population.

That negation is where the chasms between races, creeds, religions, orientations, genders, even fucking occupations is born. If you can separate all the "them's"  in the world, and just be left with the "us's"... All is well...

Except... well... now, even in your little circle, there will be distinctions... "Blond hair people over there, please"... "What, your left handed? Um.. No thank you!"

Until finally, the "us" will be whittled down to just you.... Just wait til you start picking yourself apart! Here's your mirror! Get started!

Or... Or... We can all realize that this rock... this FRAGILE and FAILING planet is it. All we got. We are all in this together and regardless of race, creed, religion, orientation, gender, even fucking occupation, that we are human beings. Start there.

psst... Go back and replace X with "Human". Give that a whirl.

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This is my 100th blog. I am not counting the first one, where I just declared "I have a blog". I wish I did not have so many focus on shootings, guns, and tragedies.

I was in my office on Friday and I thought back to "Die Hard with A Vengeance"...

The events in Dallas this week will do nothing except put law enforcement, EVERYWHERE, in more "fear for their lives"... And they are already afraid of unarmed motorists. 15 year old girls at a pool party. Children sitting in school desks. Elderly women.

My Mom told me about a neighbor, and she thinks he is a good kid. Mows their lawn at a discount. A discount because he started his own lawn service... She worries about him getting pulled over for one reason or another, innocuously enough... and never making it home. Want to guess his skin color?

The more I see, the more I can't explain,

d

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Adhere To The Big Gun

This being the fourth of July weekend, a THREE DAY weekend on top of that, I was pretty enthusiastic. Throw on top of THAT, the fact my Boss said, "Yo, Time to go" about an hour earlier than normal.

I was ecstatic because that meant I had time to replenish my empty bottle of Jack and get home in time to feed my ravenous canine.

The previous night, a "friend" lent me their copy of "Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition". Now, I did not see the original theatrical release when it was in theaters.

What the ass? You are a comic book nerd! You love comic book movies! You go to the Thursday, 7 PM showings before all the other nerds go on Fridays!!!

While those are factual statements, I would like to add a caveat... "I love GOOD comic book movies!"

Since I was not spending my money, I decided to go ahead and watched this movie.

I know the director Zack Snyder was responsible for the last Superman movie, "Man of Steel". After watching that horrible piece of shit, I was really curious how he could, and inevitably would, violate another comic book icon.

I was not disappointed. At all. This movie was horrible. I am seeing review upon review, calling this "ultimate edition" the savior of this movie, making it more "understandable" with it's extra footage. If I would have spent more than three pennies, a dime, and maybe some pocket lint to see the "regular" version, which according to critics was "muddled"... I would have asked for my thirteen cents back and a written apology.

I am also perplexed at critics these days. They seem to be reflecting the public, and that is a scary, scary thing. The "public" is pretty fucking stupid. If you doubt that, look at the nominations to LEAD said public for four years.

I may be reacting a tad harshly to this film, but on the other hand, I have only been involved with comic books for about 39 out of my 43 years on this third rock from the Sun. I have probably forgotten more than the majority will ever know about comic books.

These two characters, while not my faves, are a staple. They are archetypes that have spawned doppelgangers in every other comic book company's roster. I do not religiously collect Bat's or Supe's titles, but have been known to enjoy a collected story arc for each. Will pick up a one shot issue that I hear good things about. If I know and like an artist doing an issue, I will pick that up to see his or her interpretation of these legendary superheros.

Back in the 1986, there was a four issue, limited series, called "The Dark Knight Returns". It was written by Frank Miller. It was drawn by Frank Miller. It was the, THE, comic that changed EVERYTHING. It did two major things... 1) It challenged the reader to GROW THE FUCK UP. 2)  Superman and Batman fight.

More to the first point - It proved that comics were not just for kids. It brought to light the fact that a child whose parents are brutally and senselessly murdered in front of him, MIGHT HAVE SOME ISSUES! It was the beginning of a dark turn in comics. It was a signal, a bat-signal, that it was okay to have an edge. The readers can handle it.

The second point was built up over three issues. It was part of a thought out an brilliantly executed story that had Superman playing lap dog to a corrupt Government. President says "Sic 'em" and off flies the Big Blue Boy Scout.

When a certain flying rodent based vigilante in Gotham starts making the Government look bad by not playing by their rules... The President says "Sic 'em".

The ensuing contest between the two titans... every panel is seared into my memory. I read that book every year, without fail.

In 2013, I hear Zack Snyder is doing a Superman movie. I watch it and was severely disappointed on many, many fronts.

The biggest disappointment is when Superman kills his enemy. And here is where the blog title comes into play.

To make a good comic book movie... The first and most important rule is...

STICK TO CANON!

Having Superman kill in a huge Summer blockbuster like that was akin to taking a giant shit on 78 years of lore.

"But but he had no choice... He had to..."

I refuse that argument and blame the writers for being lazy assholes. What makes Superman Superman is that he ALWAYS finds a way. He is supposed to be the shining example that we strive to become. He is the best of us. He is hope and potential. SUPERMAN DOES NOT KILL. EVER.

And they made him a thug.

About six months after that "film" made it's money, I heard the announcement at Comic Con, they were going to do Batman Vs. Superman. I found that it was going to be based off of my beloved "The Dark Knight Returns". The geek part of my brain squealed in delight. It was short lived, because I knew the "Team" behind the "Man of Steel" debacle was now going to pervert something I treasured.

I hate being right.

In this movie, they skipped over anything even remotely resembling these two characters. Batman, being the "World's Greatest Detective", is played like a little school boy bitch. It would have been funny if it weren't so sad.

Then the last nail in the coffin into any and all future movies from DC was delivered. Batman, in his Batmobile, opens fire on some cars chasing him. Explosions! Cool! Boom!

Um... Guess what kiddies? BATMAN DOES NOT KILL. EVER.

If the Christopher Nolan Batman movies hadn't explicitly DISCUSSED that factoid, it just might have been an oversight. You only had three Batman movies released in the last 11 years, pretty much emphasizing the fact that Bats will fuck you up, but you are gonna pay for your crimes.

I know I should have stopped the movie then... But I had to see if they even remained true to ANY of the original text. Again, I was let down. Severely. The movie fell victim to the "Studio Bloat".

That's where the powers that be say, "One villain is neat and all... But let's cram three or four more in there because we can make more on the merchandising. To hell with 'story'! Oh, and be sure to hint at the next slate of movies and characters! Fuck 'story'!"

This movie could have been the DC Cinematic Universe's big step forward. They could have jumped up into the Marvel Cinematic Universe league. Instead of taking a big step forward, they stepped in a giant, steaming, pile of shit that was "Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition"

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There is a very big reason "Deadpool" was universally beloved. Shit, my Mom and Dad saw it in theaters. TWICE!!!

That reason is it stuck to canon. It treated the source material as scripture and it showed. It was simply perfect. It had humor, heart, and masturbation references galore.

As soon as "Deadpool" became the highest grossing rated "R" movie, ever, DC took notice. They have a little movie called "Suicide Squad" coming out... They got everyone to go back and do some re-shoots to do two things. 1) Make it rated "R". 2) Add jokes.

This "ultimate edition" of Bats v. Supes was also made rated "R"... After "Deadpool" made bank...

Easy to make changes to something when you were not true to it anyways.

Got no human grace,

d

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