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Greetings, exulted one.

The title of this blog is in direct response to the query posited by the song from the 1980 album, "Christmas in the Stars", "What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (Who Already Owns a Comb)". Of course, a true Alpha Geek, like myself would know the answer to be "Nothing, Wookies celebrate Life Day. It is a call to return to Kashyyyk every three years for all Wookies"... But I digress.

In 5 days, I will embark on a quest, a sojourn of the soul, to see a piece of cinema called "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" with my father. He took me to see the first one back in 78... Well, it was at a drive in, and it was a "pay one price for a car load" deal, so... It was me, and 21 cousins... Remember clowns cars, where clowns keep plopping out? Yeah... something like that.

My history with the Wars starts then. I remember seeing the movie and then seeing plastic representations of the characters in the toy aisle... I did not want them... No... I NEEDED THEM... That one vehicle that was in two frames in Mos Eisley? My life was incomplete until I possessed it.

Did my pillowcase need to have X-Wings on it??? No... But somehow I slept better knowing I had full air support.

The family moved in 1979 from Michigan to Texas. It was a big deal. I was stupid young and everything was new. The first friends I made, guess what we bonded over? You damn right, "Star Wars". Many an afternoon, many a recess, was spent playing Star Wars. Not a video game, no... Actually running around with motorcycle helmets and blankets as capes...

"I am the coolest mother fucker... EVER"

See? (Yes... That is me... 1981... Don't judge!)


When I was old enough to know what money was, but before I knew I did not like sharing my money... I found ten bucks. Mom said "Would you like to go see a movie?"

"Fuck yeah, Mom", replied the 7 year old me! It was probably more along the lines of "Golly gee, that would be swell." It is difficult for me to remember a time when "fuck" was not part of my vocabulary... I refer to that time as "The Something Was Missing Era", and Mom refers to it as "Ages 5-8".

So, the family got in the car, stood IN LINE, to see a film called "The Empire Strikes Back". I believe it was the first time I was introduced to the concept of a "sequel"... This was before aintitcool.com and a dozen other internet sites devoted themselves to giving you every detail about a movie, before it comes out.

Little did I know that my 10 bucks paid for my family (ALL 5 OF US!!!), to see said movie. I learned an important lesson... Money found is to be pocketed.

I remember biking up to Redbird Mall in Duncanville to catch "Return of The Jedi". The place was packed... Everyone was digging it... Han Solo is getting thawed from the carbonite annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... The film melts.

My first thought was, "Special effects have improved a lot!"

My second thought was, "Fuckity fuck fuck...There is going to be a fucking riot any fucking second and I am going to fucking die." (I had discovered "fuck" by then and was getting every bit of mileage out of it. Making up for lost time!)

Flash forward a couple of decades... 1999. I was married to X2, out of the USAF, and in my career of Web Development. Through the miracle of the interwebs, I knew what was coming down the pike.

I went and saw "The Waterboy", IN THE THEATERS, JUST to see the trailer for "Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I remember the gents at work the next day, asking about it... and me stammering... "a dude... all devil looking had a FUCKING DOUBLE BLADED LIGHTSABER!!!"

I don't remember a lot of hoopla around "Attack of The Clones"... more of a, "Well... I might as well..." type of operation.

Now, "Episode III", I had heard it was going to get dark... I do remember the entire SkillsNET team running out and seeing it together...

Needless to say... I am looking forward to Friday, December 18th, 2015. In a big way. It has been 32 some odd years since I have seen the Millennium Falcon fly... And yes, in the first trailer for Episode VII, when it does show up... I teared up. And I fully represented my greek cred by noticing the new, more square radar array on top... Because as EVERYONE knows, the original radar array was lost when Lando Calrissian was piloting the Falcon into the bowels of second Death Star, NOT to be confused with the first Death Star, destroyed at the Battle of Yavin... Sorry... I get excitable.

___________________________

The original trilogy taught me a metric fuck tonne of life lessons...

Recognizing The Bad Guy: When Darth Vader showed up on the Blockade Runner at 4 minutes and 34 seconds of Epidode IV, there was ZERO FUCKING DOUBT in my 5 year old brain, "That there is the villian."

Love: At some point in your life, you have to respond to someone saying "I love you" with, "I know." And do NOT kiss your brother, even if it is to make a scruffy looking nerf herder jealous.

Dying: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you could possibly imagine"

Slave outfits, in the Golden Bikini Arena: Hells. Yes. (And a special shout out to Athena!)

I have often compared my Mom to Yoda. She was a big fan of the little green dude. She would quote him to me in order to make me understand... And it would usually work. And while I appreciated seeing him be a badass in the prequels... Frank Oz gave him SOUL... He was more alive (and a better actor) than 90% of the real people in the prequels...

May the force be with you,

d

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I'll Take What's Behind Door #3

We are coming up on an election year... So, a year ago, people started running for office. Well, they started skirting the idea... forming exploratory committees. Jeb Bush being the master at this. He did not announce for quite a while... and here is why...

When you announce, you can't really talk to the big money donors and PACs anymore... in public, anyways.

That is another blog... No, this one is about decisions. The country is facing a rather large number of perplexing dilemmas.

Right out of the gate... Do we love the Constitution or not? 

Silly question... OR IS IT??????????? Down the road a spell, in Irving, there were armed assholes marching in front of a mosque. They claim they were enforcing their 2nd Amendment rights... by infringing on others 1st Amendment rights?

Gun People - You wanna walk around with a shirt with the 2nd Amendment on it... Do it period correct... Instead of your AR-15, with penile compensating laser site, penile compensating 100 round drum mag, penile compensating improved gas return system, penile compensating flash suppressor, and penile compensating folding bi-pod, walk around with a flintlock long rifle.

Facebook, about twice a year, will be inundated with the memes calling for the drug testing of people receiving government assistance. 4th Amendment is up for grabs also... Nice.

A lot of the people who cite the Constitution, with an almost sacred reverence, will, in the same breath, speak of some action that directly conflicts with another part of the same document.

What makes me believe it a great piece of our foundation is the old white dudes in charge back then said... "We are bad asses and all, but we don't know shit about what's coming, so... I mean, we are still shitting outdoors and pissing into buckets in the corner!!! Let's give the people a way to CHANGE this document. I mean, slavery? It's cool now, because... ya know... We are doing this 'Make a Country' thing... We can't be bothered with manual labor... What are we? Amish?"

So... Do we love the Constitution? I do... Just needs some updating and people need some educating.

Next up... Who is to blame?

Fox "News", for the past three years, has been known as the "BBC"... Standing for "Benghazi, Blame Clinton"... The overriding narrative is that ol' Hillary killed 2 out of the 4 Americans herself...

Now, disregarding the fact that two Republican representatives have admitted that all the hearings that have called on the former Secretary of State to testify were political in nature, it seems that the witch hunt was partially successful.

A large number of Americans simply don't trust Hillary Clinton. She is the figurehead of the whole awful mess. She was the Sec. of State at the time... So... it was her responsibility... Head Honcho... It was her fault.

Mmmkay, Pum-kin... By that logic... Ex Retarded Cowboy President George "W is for War Criminal' Bush Jr. is solely responsible for 9/11. Why are their not hearings and committees with his ass in the hot seat? It was his responsibility. Head Honcho. It was his fault. (I about vomited when Jeb "The Smart One" Bush quipped at a debate, "My brother kept us safe.")

I am not the first one to draw this conclusion. I also noticed that when this notion started gaining some tread, the Benghazi rhetoric pretty much dried up and... died... quietly...

So... If you want to blame someone... Take a long look at the source of the finger pointing. Good chance, they have an ax to grind somewhere. Who's to blame?

 Now... on a ligher note... Guns or Mental Health?

Since the NRA has politicians bought or scared, and the number of mass shootings is becoming so incomprehensible, that the numbness - the "common place" attitude - towards them is as sickening as the act itself... What is gonna have to happen before something gets done?

And since it CAN NOT be a "gun problem"... it has to be a "mental health" issue. Well, then... DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH!!!

I saw a video this morning, a "pastor" was claiming that since the guns in the San Bernadino shooting were bought legally, and California has strict gun laws... The "system" was working. I have 14 dead and 21 wounded who would beg to differ. Well... 21 will beg to differ. 14 would just beg to not be dead.

FUCKED UP SIDE NOTE - In the previous paragraph, I was gonna say "this week's mass shooting"... And the thought hit me... "I am gonna have to be more specific". THAT is fucked up, friends.

It was from a "pastor", so I take it with a grain of salt... "it" being anything spoken by him.

The claims and buzzwords of "terrorism", "Muslim", "ISIS", "Islamist Extremists" were bandied about... and I waited... and waited... Then, bam... "What was their mental state..."

Gee, people did a completely heinous act... Let's try to understand it... Sorry, kids, and Nietzsche...

"If you gaze for long enough in to the abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you."

You are not going to change the abyss... But lets not give the fucking abyss access to an AK-47.

We have to, HAVE to, either do something about guns or crazy fuckers. Something tells me there is no shortage of, and will ALWAYS BE crazy fuckers... so... What is left in the goddamned equation??????

Are you Pro Life or just Pro Birth? 

Protest and try to close Planned Parenthood all ya like, but then you damn well better not cut social programs that help struggling mothers who were FORCED to have the fucking kid.

This week another "pastor" said that is was time that Planned Parenthood people should run and hide. From what, Mr. "man of god"? Why should they run and hide? From you and your sheep? You are now in command of the wisdom of your god? It has told you what you should do? I thought your Christ was all "peace and love" and it was them thar "Islams" we had to worry about? Or are you trying to stay "trending"? You make me fucking sick, you fucking cock smoker.

Did you know that the huge drop in crime in the 90's has been attributed in a large part to legal abortions? This is due to women in dire situations NOT having to birth a child that they would not care for, nor love, nor try to make a productive member of society. Elvis, "In the Ghetto", hello?

_________________________________

I can't be the only voice. But again... I smell bullshit, I call bullshit.

There are decisions to be made, for sure. There is an election coming up and if you don't make at least one vote, a whole fuck ton of decisions are gonna be made in your name and you will have to live with the consequences.

For the sake of the "f", "u", "c", and "k" keys on my keyboard, get and stay informed so when you DO go to cast your vote, you will at least know why you did so. We can talk about how wrong you were later...

Apathetic, to the stunned,

d

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"This Wasn't in the Brochure!"

I usually stick to things that I know or can research...  When it comes to parenting, I know Jack and Shit, and Jack just left town.

Research? Forget about it... There are sooooo many topics, so many opinions, a literal fuck ton of stuff written on the subject, that one mind boggles.

Then throw in a divorce. Split, or joint, custody. Full custody with child support. Full custody with a deadbeat ex. Permutations abound...

There are parts of me that lament never spawning. My Mom (HI MOM!) still has a glimmer of hope that I will meet someone tomorrow and, due to my superhuman sperm, that female will squat out a pup in time for Xmas. She has told me repeatedly that I would be a good Dad... (so did some lesbians in Tacoma, but that is another story)

The thought is daunting... Loving something more than me? Seems very implausible...

I dunno... I would have the advantage of being an asshole. Knowing the tricks I had pulled when I was a child... I would be at the disadvantage because when someone tries hurts me, I tend to break it off in their ass and leave them bleeding...

Apparently that style of parenting is "frowned upon".

And let's face it... We all hurt our parents. Sometimes intentionally, mostly the opposite. I was, and still am, guilty of doing so. However, I am able to now understand my actions and let them know that while I am sorry, I am still gonna do what I am gonna do.

I have asked the Folks how they tackled it... According to Mom, "Your Father and I took the things that my parents did that worked, and things that his parents did that worked, and blended them. We also found things that each of our parents did that we swore we would NEVER do."

Key point here kiddies... THEY TALKED THAT SHIT OUT BEFORE PROCREATING!

For example... My Dad did NOT want my Mom to pull the "Wait til your father get's home!" routine. He seriously did not want his coming home to be something his children dreaded. Makes perfect sense. The major downside is that when I got in trouble at school in the days of corporal punishment, I would get my licks from the school official. Come home, Mom would have her go. Dad would get home, and complete the trifecta of "negative reinforcement".

They had a plan. They were a united front... Much to my dismay.

The early years... I have made it 43 years on this planet without having changed a diaper. I can go another 43 and be quite all right with it. I also am not a fan of getting puked, spat, pissed, or shit on...

The teenage years... There would be scars. I see a lot of dollar signs...

The early adulthood... I just see more fucking dollar signs...

Adulthood - They leave... IF you have done your job right.

Then, you die. Unless they do something really, really cool, you pretty much just contributed to the overpopulation of the planet... Don't get me wrong... I am pretty damn happy Dad didn't pull out that one time...

I guess this discussion came from an issue a friend is having with her Ex and their kid. Kid is in single digits. He is a sensitive kid. He went to visit his Dad over the Thanksgiving break. My friend asked about the activities that will be transpiring. When "Shooting guns" was broached, she said, "Um, no. I don't think he is ready for that."

When I was over there for dinner on Thursday, she told me about talking to her son and she asked what had he had been up to... Three guesses on what made the list!

She was not happy. Now... I admit the male "See Problem, Fix Problem" gene kicked in. Stupid me. I did have the wherewithal to preface all my responses with, "Not being a parent and not knowing a damn thing about it, here is how I would reply to the Dad..."

The gun thing is an issue (Upon returning, she asked her son when should a gun be used and got "I don't know", supporting her thought process), but it is more indicative of the lack of cohesive parenting.

Parent A - "I don't want out child doing X."

When child is with Parent A, child does not do X.

Parent B receives child.

Parent A informs Parent B stance on X.

Parent B lets kid fucking do X.

Parent A is gonna find out... WTF? Do you think you WON'T hear about it??? Use ya head, Parent B!

I asked her, "How long after you get your son back does it take to 'deprogram' him from the Dads influence?"

The massive eyeroll and grimace was answer enough.

X3 was my first real exposure to children. I am fully aware that "Step-Children" is not the same thing... So... Save your breath...

The father of my two step daughters remarried. The lady had a young son. She said that she wanted her husband's daughters to call her "Mom"... X3 took a "vehement" stance against that. Something something, "better not call that fucking cunt 'Mom'!"

"But, it will confuse my little mistake son with them calling me 'Prudence'!"*

How the fuck is that the biological mother's concern? I would have never even brought forth the idea of the daughters calling me 'Dad'. If they did call me 'Dad', I think the shudder of revulsion would have put a stop to it real quick like...

X3 and I had our differences when it came to parenting as well... I disciplined the eldest step kid once... And X3 told me I would not do it again. I pretty much checked out on the "contributing to the raising of a productive member of society" right then and there. Eldest didn't like me because I knew how she cheated at dominoes and let her know that I knew... Good times.

__________________________

"Oh, it is so rewarding..."

"Um, you have puke on your shoulder. Your breast is leaking. You look like you have not slept since the last Space Shuttle was launched. You put wine in that baby bottle. Your baby has a face that a pug who kissed a running lawnmower blade would vomit at. Your baby also has had a loaded diaper for at least 20 minutes and it is beginning to leak. You poor, poor soul."

My hats off to parents... It is a shit job. Mostly thankless. I am reminded of a long con... Taking about 27 years for any sort of payoff...

My Mom has said that I was a good kid, a) My Mom is an optimist. 2) I got away with a lot of shit she didn't know about (Skip this part, Mom). D) It is me we are talking about!

Lunatic fringe,

d

* Name changed to protect fucking cunt's identity.

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(All Lives (Matter) of Convenience)

July? Really? Damn... Been a spell... More on that further down...

First, hashtags are mostly stupid and do nothing but try and sum up an already abbreviated thought. One had come to prominence, kind of reminding people that the lives of African American people matter.

This was in response to the seemingly never ending barrage of a certain race of people getting straight up murdered by police.

In response, instead of addressing the problem, or even fucking acknowledging the 800% more likelihood that if you are black and unarmed, you will be shot by a police officer than if you are white and unarmed, someone had the bright idea of coming up with #alllivesmatter. Oh, by the by... That "800%" number is not a joke or made up.

So... all lives matter? To whom?

There is a cult, very active in America these days, that believe that a microscopic bundle of dividing cells is "life". They are very adamant about protecting this cluster, which is sacred and deserves full protection of the Law! Now, why they don't feel the same way about cancer is beyond me... It too is a small cluster of dividing cells...

This cult has lobbied for and won the favor of major political figures who hold office and are currently seeking HIGHER office. Using misinformation, false statistics and outright fraudulent lies, this cult and it's minions have done irreparable damage to Planned Parenthood.

The political party most swayed by this cult is also big on getting rid of the "entitlement class" and "takers". Those people on welfare... Those people who get assistance from the government programs designed to help those in need...

So... All lives matter when they are in the womb.... After that... not so much?

This week at work, the TV in the break room was showing the plight of Syrian refugees... I also saw a picture of a little child holding it's hands up in surrender because the camera looked like a gun and all she knew to do was surrender. It was deeply saddening.

My co-workers were grumbling about the refugees better steer clear of Texas!

I asked, "Since France is accepting refugees, LESS THAN A FUCKING WEEK after the most devastating attack SINCE WWFUCKINGII, should we send the Statue of Liberty back to them?"

"Damn, Dougie."

Yes... Damn me... I guess all lives matter, as long as the geography suites you.

The GOP nominations for the Presidency have taken umbrage with the President for telling them that they are "irresponsible" for their stance on the refugee crisis.

One Mike Huckabee has said that he would allow only the "Christian refugees" passage and safe harbor... Um, Huckster... When "Reality" comes around and rips your face off, and blows your mind through the back your head, please let it be televised...

If you were in line... to get into a sanctuary... and the gatekeepers are asking "Are you Muslim or Christian?" and they are only letting people who say "Christian" into the promised land... Word will spread down the line pretty damn quick...

The retort from one Ted "Billionaire Blower" Cruz has been, "If you want to insult me, do it to my face."

Ted, boobala, I will give you my address. I would unleash a load of semen, unprecedented in the annals of world history, if I got the chance to insult you to your face. Sperm whales would be renamed Dougie Whales.

 I will ask why you, and two other GOP candidates, attended an "event" where the "pastor" who introduced you to the crowd, had just ranted and preached that gay people should be executed.

Again... All lives matter as long as they believe in the same imaginary friend as you?

Oh... And all lives matter as long as they fuck who YOU think they should fuck?

I guess the fully amended hashtag should be:  #alllivesmatterdependingonthechronolgyoflifeandgeographyandwhatinvisibefriendtheytalktoandfuckthepeopleyouthinktheyshouldfuckaslongasitisonlyformakingbabieswhoarethenontheirownwithnohelp.

_______________________________

Now... Why they absence? There is no real "reason". No explanation like "My hands fell off" or anything.

I guess it was a culmination of things. Jon Stewart is gone. John Oliver is fucking crushing it every week. I also think with the rise in polls of Carson and Trump... I think America is in the "post-intelligence" phase.

I know people who I think are decent human beings. I also think these people should not be allowed to contaminate the gene pool, or vote.

It was all of those things that led me to a "lull"... A "If the rest of the world don't give a fuck (like Janice in Accounting), why should I?

I then thought back to one of the last segments, on the last show of the aforementioned Stewart...

*Sniff*. *Sniff*.

Yup... There it is... I gotta call bullshit.

Cruise your new baby fly self,

d

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You Don't Get To Pick.

"Blood may be thicker than water... But it ain't glue..."

As far as I know, I came up that. CATCHY! This just means I can find no instance of it occurring before it spewed forth from my brain hole.

I was searching for a topic, and a good friend provided it for me. "Family". That was his suggestion. One word, but myriad meanings and personal weight attached to it.

Now, I know why he suggested it. He and his clan just had a reunion. It was the first time they had been together in about eight years. Me, being the nosy little bastard that I am, inquired as to why. The explanation was simple enough.  He is the youngest... at 51... and he grew rather irksome with being told how he should be living.

Both of the parents had passed, so, more than likely, the older siblings were trying to fulfill the parental roles that had become open. After a couple of years, he just decided that he would rather avoid the inevitable hassle and headache of being around his siblings. Voluntary expulsion versus saying things you can't take back.

Family means something different to every single person on this planet. My own personal familial structure is as follows:

Mom & Dad. They are my constant. Regardless of how tumultuous the world is raging against me, I know I have those two in my corner.

For anything emotional in nature, my Moms will be able to shine a light through the fog and show me a path... To which I will completely ignore and end up having more hurt and work ahead of me.

My Dad... I can run things by him and get the "Yup, Yup" of technical and logical affirmation, OR a sigh and wincing of a "been there done that - and it sucked..." accounting.

I have a brother. Older. We have not spoken in round about 7 or 8 years. We had a falling out. It is more than likely my fault. I am okay with that. He has his life and I have mine. He is doing quite well, and I am also...

I know it pains my Moms something fierce. I do feel remorse for that fact, and that fact alone.

I have a younger sister. She lives in Kansas City. Married... Has a kid... We have not spoken since 2006 I think... There is no animosity. No hard feelings. Just nothing to say. She did email me a couple of years ago, "Hey... You are an uncle again."

Lily... She is my top bitch... Her neck started to act up again... And it hurts me to know she hurts. First person I called? Moms.

That is my immediate family.

When I was in the USAF... I had people who were my brothers and sisters... When you chew the same dirt together... You bond. Out of all the people I served with, there were still one or two people who I would let crash on my couch anytime. And I know that, without fail, I could crash on theirs as well.

At the present, there is a handful of people, in my life, who are more than friends... They may not be blood relation to me, but I would not hesitate to call them family. They know who they are.

I have seen family be used as a weapon. I have a very good friend... She is anchored by a family that will quite possibly be her ruination. She was consistently hammered with the mantra "Family does for family"... And for the most part... I have no problem with that school of thought... WITH A BIG ASS CAVEAT... So long as EVERYONE in said family unit is pulling their weight.

In her, case... She is the only one providing any support... I refused to meet her family on a number of occasions because I do not think I could have been even remotely civil. It still kind of bugs me... Using something as powerful as "family" as a means to make sure a member never gets an opportunity at any semblance of happiness.

However... I am reminded of some wisdom handed down to me from Dad... "If someone does something to you that you don't like more than once, and you do/say nothing to remedy the situation... On some level, you must like it."

Verily.

At work, the subject came up of letting homosexual couples adopt. Ya know... Starting a family.

"Dougie, you know that ain't a normal family!"

"Well, gee, Mouth Breather... considering that the majority of families in the good ol' USA could be classified as 'dysfunctional'... What is this 'normal' you speak of?"

I added, "Having never really having heard sunshine and rainbow stories from the foster care system, why would I deny a child a loving and nurturing environment in which to flourish? Raised by two people painstakingly vetted and having been found to be able to provide... that are DYING to provide... for a child..."

Another guy added, "Yeah... but they are gonna push the gay agenda on that kid..."

After grimacing in pain from rolling my eyes so hard, I asked him, "Where do gay people come from? Gay parents? Biologically speaking, that is kind of impossible... BI-O-LOG-I-KUL-LEE"

This is the same guy who returned a drink once because it came in a martini glass and he was threatened by it... Did not want to be thought of as gay... STEMWARE WINS AGAIN!

_____________________________

Some people love their families with all their hearts. That is fantastic, I am happy that they are happy. I am of the mindset  that you can love your family members, but bear in mind, that because a person is labelled "Brother" or "Sister", they are not exempt from being an asshole or bitch.

Yeah... I am a big hit at Thanksgiving dinners...

Sorry if this blog seems a little discombobulated... I am worried about my pup...

You gave me life, now show me how to live*,

d


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* Within reason, yo.

One Hell of A Friday Morning...

Imagine waking up... You are groggy, disorientated, and just feeling like a lukewarm cup of "Blerg". You reach for your glasses... or some a tin of some cocaine... A quick snort sharpens your vision. You are thinking... "It's Friday... What the fuck did we do last night? And where are those two dwarves... the one who hit me in the head with a hammer and the other who shit in my mouth..."...

And then... it hits you... "Oh, yeah... We told England to piss off... HO. LEE. SHIT!"

July 5th, 1776 must have been something like that for a great many of the founding fathers.

The giant, hairy balls it took to commit this glorious act of treason... I can not fathom. I am having trouble deciding if I want to zoom down to Sprinkles for a couple Oatmeal Cornflake Cookies... So mega dee-lish! I would puree them and use them to shoot up, like a heroin addled junkie, if I could... Seriously, about damn time someone other than me took a stand and made a damn oatmeal cookie WITHOUT raisins.

But I digress...

These guys, normal joes, decided... Wait... I know of another great American who can verbalize the birth our nation in a most succinct and awesome manner...

"What Jefferson was sayin' was "HEY! ya know, we left this England place cuz it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves.... PRONTO... We'll just be bogus too.' Eh?"

Spiccoli was very much on target with his summation. The crusty white guys got together and pounded out said "Cool Rules". They made a "Government"... Without GOOGLE!

In my ever so humble opinion, the greatest gift those cats provided was the means to CHANGE said rules. They knew some stuff was bound to change.

Whenever I hear the disenfranchised and downtrodden screaming " We Want Our Country Back!", a couple of things become painfully obvious... 1) The rest of "your" country moved forward. "Back" is not a fucking option. 2) The shouters usually are people who are threatened by something that is not like them... Meaning "White", "Christian", and/or "Conservative".

Pundits of the Propaganda Arm of the GOP, aka "Fox 'News'", love to bring out the founding fathers and posit, "What would these GODS AMONGST MEN think of Washington today????" Thinking that these patriots would definitely be on the side of Unchecked Capitalism benefiting a handful of people. Segregation. A Militarized Police Force. War Mongering.

Think again, cupcake.

They would look at the level of poverty, lack of education, the denial of science and reason, the treatment of Veterans... They would fucking weep.

THEN... They would go straight up Revolution.

I am pretty sure Hancock, Adams, Jefferson, Paine, Washington, Franklin, and the rest would go all "Project Mayhem" on Chase, CitiBank, Bank of America, and anyone else "Too Big To Fail". They would be corporate saboteurs of the highest order... They would join up with Anonymous... 'Cept Hancock... He wanted his name out there...

They would bitch slap all these professional politicians.

They would hang Sean Hannity for treason.

They would legalize weed.

They would fucking govern.

They would remind everyone, "THIS IS NOT A CHRISTIAN NATION! GO TO A FUCKING PLACE OF WORSHIP IF YOU WANT RELIGION!"

Okay, the last one was my own personal wish.

I think John Adams would decree the whole body politic as too far gone and needing of the Old Yeller treatment.

Jefferson would be wondering where his slaves were at... Getting laid would help take that edge off...

In this day and age, I truly wish there was a "Blade Runner" type test you could hook up to each and every sitting politician and discover who they answer to... Their constituency or to the corporate overlords they were bought by. Retire the Replicants, yo.

_________________________________________

While I am truly appreciative of the treasonous acts that gave birth to one of the greatest nations this world has ever seen... I am sad to see it being squandered... This country could be so much more. And it is not going to ever attain that level of greatness again by continually looking back. Or with any of the 84,291 politicians currently running for President.

Aloha, Mr. Hand,

d

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It's Wha Bwings Us Togethah Twuday

This week the Supreme Court, after being schooled as to just what the fuck a marriage is... Did something right.

They allowed "same sex marriage" to be now known simply as "marriage". People who love each other can now get married. States who are trying to stem the Rainbow tide can basically suck it.

I quipped in a Facebook post:

"Today, Discrimination got told to "Fuck off. There is no place for you anymore. You are the tool of the fearful, obtuse, weak minded, and myopic."

Sadly, discrimination is never going to go away. That is because there is no shortage of the fearful or obtuse. We are chock fucking full of the weak minded and myopic.

Even if the LGBT community was accepted with open arms, people will find another group to fixate on as the cause of all their woes. If they can't figure out what to fear, they will watch Fox "News" and within an hour, they will figure something out...

I have witnessed discussions betwixt the opposing camps on the Marriage Equality issue for years. Every argument posited by the, oh let's just call 'em "Haters", has been summarily proven to be without merit and lacking substance.

The first thing the Haters grab is the Big Ol' Book of Hypocrisy... The bible. "It's a sin! Sez so in black and WHITE POWER.... I... mean white!"

Yes, it does say that... It also says something about killing all non believers and people wearing mixed blends of fabric must die? It also defines marriage in a slew of ways that are none to moral in this day and age.

Another couple of points about the bible as the crux of the Hater's case... 1) The bible is of NO concern to the laws of the United States of America. It has no legal value... It is as important to the legal system in this country as "Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban". Argumentum Deflaytus

2) I, for one, and a rapidly increasing demographic of the population, have come to the realization that religion is bullshit. It is control and promise of something there is no way to know a damn sight about.

After telling a Hater to shove their bible up their ass, figuratively speaking of course, they employ the go to, "Sanctity of Marriage".

If Ashton and Oliver next door being married is causing you problems in your marriage, I have a suggestion... MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. Try concentrating on your house and getting that in order.

Besides, I guarantee you their yard will look fab-you-luzzzz.

I like words (Ya think?). Sanctity is "the quality or state of being holy, very important, or valuable". Well, I have made my feelings crystal clear about the whole "holy" thingy. Very important? Yes, marriage is very important. You know which of my three marriages was the most important?

Pick a damn year and I'll tell you.

Valuable... That's interesting... Value is determined by the individual. With a divorce rate of 51% in this country, I would say some values are being estimated differently by individuals.

I have heard of a trend of "Starter Marriages". Where women, primarily, get married in their early years, seeking stability, and possible financial gain. When the well is dried up or they feel they achieved what they want and are NOW ready to seek out love... Divorce...

Sanctity indeed.

If the Hater has had those two standard arguments against equality slapped down, they get desperate... The "What's next???" Gambit...

If you allow the Gays to get married.. What's Next?????????

The list has included....

Polygamy
Incest
Pedophilia
Bestiality
Necrophilia.

Some of those have been spouted by PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES... in a year starting with "201"...

Never mind it was religious cultists who practiced polygamy. Fuck you, Mormons, I see you.

Never mind incest is usually a Southern practice... Same area of the country that hosted the biggest populace of people against marriage equality... And also the largest sales of homosexual erotica? That's right! Dicks-E-Land!!!!

Never mind that pedophilia is usually heterosexual in nature. Catholics, fuck you too.

Never mind that bestiality has been against the law in.........14 states? Really? Really? That bears a modicum of scrutiny...

Never mind that a lot of people equate their marriage to this anyway...

_____________________________________

The fear is that someone will be happier than you. It is gonna happen... Deal with it, but don't deny the happy.

It is not religion that makes you a better person, it is empathy. Being obtuse is pathetic, and I am not one for pity.

The weak minded will be dealt with... Darwinism, like love, wins.

Myopic... We all have our moments... The trick is to realize when you lacking the intellectual insight and TRY TO REMEDY IT. Don't camp out on the end of the spectrum reserved for people who have been kicked in the head by barnyard animals... probably when they were trying to do bad things to said livestock.

The Supreme Court of The United States of America just wrote the prescription...

Now... SCOTUS, about that Citizens United,

d

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The See Saw... OF DOOM!

Last weeks blog was formulated. Well, meagerly outlined. Okay, fine, I had a topic. That being admitted, I worked my ass off last weekend. 13 hours on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Sunday was only 8.5...

The Work/Life balance...

"Work" is something you have to do. Paying bills is important, granted. "Life" is something that we get one of, and it is a finite resource. So, finding a balance between the something you have to do, and something you want to do.. Yeah... Let's do that.

First, as the "balance" aspect is relatively a new concept, barely a decade or so old, I want to share where it became sharply brought into focus for me. Story time, kiddos.

I worked for a company, and my manager was an ex-engineer. Engineers are very "parameter driven". Give them what they expect to see in precise coordinates and measurements... otherwise they get bitchy.

In the month of January, possibly 2003 or 2004, I and my fellow developers put in at least three 60 hour weeks. In the first week of February, I had to remedy some of the tasks that I was not able to get to due to my exorbitant hours at work. Namely, I was stuck in the DMV for an extra long lunch to get my license renewed.

I remember it mainly because the parking lot had a large billboard. I don't remember the what was on the billboard per se, but I do remember getting shit on by one of the myriad birds who were socializing on said billboard. My car was also deluged with droppings. I have driven through quieter hail storms.

So, after getting cleaned up, I headed back to the shop.

Next week, turning in my timesheet, I was honest. My total hours for the week came to 39.5. My engineer boss was expecting to see 40.

"Doug, we need to talk about your timesheet."

"Turned in on time, Bob."

("Office Space" flashbacks, anyone?)

"We can't have 39.5 hours. You are supposed to be here 40 hours a week."

"Um... DMV hosed me... What about the 60 hour weeks I pulled last month?"

"Well... we need 40. Don't let it happen again."

I could tell he was sympathetic on a human level, but as an engineer and a manager, the company line was towed... Thus, instead of arguing further, I relented.

"No problem, Bob. You will get your forty."

Guess who has two thumbs and needed presidential decrees to get him to stay one minute over 40 hours after that?

From that point on, unless I am getting paid in either money or comp time, I do not work over the time set forth in the employment agreement.

I value my time away from any place of employment. I do not care if it is sitting with a thumb up my ass watching the damn dog lick the chair. Two things... One... Yes, Lily will like the chair... because it is flavored? Two, I did not specify whose thumb...

The point is, if I agreed to give the employer 40 hours, they get 40. I rarely miss a hard deadline and I give estimates based on an 8 hour day. Do I pad it for other things interrupting? Of course. That is the nature of my line of work.

If I do miss a deadline, there will be a clear cut reason and it will be known before the deadline is upon us. It will not be because I only work 8 hours a day...

In my current job, I have had a couple of bosses. Two of them understood that things come up. I built up some "good will" time, where I would put in a couple of hours extra, work on a Saturday, or come in early. This would be so if I had a cable guy coming, or a dental cleaning, there would be no paperwork... Just get it done, and carry on.

My new boss, well... She is insane. We just had a year and a half project come to fruition. It went live this last Monday. In this time, she has maxed out her comp time earning potential. She will have to use or lose her vacation time before the end of the year.

She has admitted that her hourly rate is probably that of migrant bean workers in South America, in the 1930's..

She puts in all these insane hours... I almost feel bad for her... I still leave after my 8 though...

I told her in my yearly review, "Boss, you have a work ethic and dedication that I hope to never attain." I meant every syllable of it too.

I also made mentioned to the Boss, in regards to this monstrous project that was looming over us all, "Boss, this project could go live with out a single error. Rainbows could shoot out of people's asses with the glee over the ease of the implementation... Champagne could flow from the spigots... Trumpets... Doves... and you would still not get a parade.

This project could blow up, and causes riots and fires. Servers could catch on fire and melt. Calamity on an epic scale could ensue, and NO ONE would have the balls to say you did not work hard enough on this project."

Changed nothing. As I mentioned... insane.

X3 was an educator. If you know teachers, you will know that there are good and bad ones. If the teacher you know puts in 12 hour days, they are one of the good ones. If not, they are in it for the summers off. X3 did a lot of 12's... Many 16's....

Here's a list of the happiest countries in the world by dailyfinance.com. They looked at the workers and working conditions... *spoiler alert* U.S.A. - not in the top ten...

For fuck's sake, Israel is #6... A place where a valid excuse for being late is "A fucking bomb exploded" has a happier workforce than us. That should really make ya think.

Companies (and municipalities) will spout during interviews, that they promote a healthy work/life balance. Of course, that 24 year old kid, who is not married, no kids, and no other obligations puts in about 60+ hours a week... Killing themselves to get that extra 2% on their raise... Making you look like a non team player for pulling your agreed upon 40. Enjoy that 2%, Chief. Hope it helps support that cocaine habit...

Companies see Coke Boy putting in all those hours, and it becomes some unwritten rule that you are supposed to as well... Companies do nothing to remedy the situation either, as it is more cost effective to have a slave labor force. With dental.

_________________________________________

Not to get all Tyler Durden on you, faithful reader, but it is like he said... Man was not meant to be in a cubicle or office all day.

Work is something to maintain what you have and where you are at. Life is something you do to move forward as a human being.

I guess after working twelve days in a row, the most painful lesson I learned was: If you are caulking and have hairy legs, wear jeans.

Pulling my hair out,

d

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Ribbons Are Neat And All...

I have been absent the last couple of weeks. Traveling due to work and then traveling due to vaykay, the anti-work. The blog here took a backseat.

I have noticed that a lot of the GOP contenders for the presidency have been doing the, "Let's talk to the people!" tactic, and it has been going gloriously wrong. A student confronted would be Emperor Bush III about ISIS, pointing out the fact that his brother was the main reason for their creation... He was a bit flustered.

Oh, wanna know why ol' Jeb has not officially announced his candidacy? Now, understand that he IS out there campaigning and raising money... He has not announced because until he does, he can talk to the money guys in his PACs. The moment he announces, he can no longer do that... THAT would be illegal. Fucking cheating fuck. If you vote for this piece of shit, you are fucking stupid.

A man who recently buried his son asked Sen. Tom Cotton, "Where's our MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner?"

On Memorial Day, out at Scarborough Rainessance Festival, as I was waiting for opening cannon, a man approached me. "Excuse me, Sir. Are you a veteran?"

That question will always make me wince. Can I claim it? Technically. Did I serve in a non-friendly area of the world, separated from wife and family? Yes. The fact that I was in the USAF is besides the point...

Compared to members who have, still are, and will do actual militaristic shit... I just don't feel comfortable with the title. Yesterday was the anniversary of D-Day... Those guys are vets. I am a guy who played dress up for four years by comparison...

He was asking because they wanted veterans to wear a yellow sash, and march in the parade... I did not swear to uphold the Constitution for medals, and surely not for recognition. It is not that I am "ashamed" or "unhappy" with my service, rather, I did not do so to get the "Thanks for your service" bump.

Home loans, sure...

I politely informed the gentleman that I did indeed serve, but would rather never march ever again in any parade. He got it.

Now, when I was on vacation, there was a group of jubilant people surrounding my room's entry... My room was named, "The High Island". Kismet, I tells ya! We were sitting around, drinking in more than moderation, enjoying each others company and conversation.

A younger gentleman, not a skilled drinking professional as most of us were, was hovering. He desired inclusion, that was painfully obvious. Upon including and introductions being made, it was also obvious his affection for bumper sticker Patriotism.

He punctuated most of his sentences with "Murica!". This would be while taking a selfie, flexing his bicep in a curl fashion, and stating his power word.

Seeing as how the conversation was a level or six above his intellectual grasp, he would latch onto a bumper sticker sized nugget and if it did not compute with his star-spangled criteria, he would take umbrage. Not fully "antagonistic" or "belligerent", but approaching rapidly with every drink of shit water beer.

He asked me, "So, you don't love Murica?"

"I am pretty much done with the concept of nationalities, and feel that our clinging to a sense of them is a detriment to the entire human race. I do however love a country that bestows upon me a freedom to have and express these sentiments."

"So, you don't love Murica?"

"I served, Did you?"

Those are the instances I WILL break out my service. I am not a fan of people who beat the war drum, or are blind to the multitudes of problems our country possesses - Taking credit by stepping over the serving members and veterans.

"Look how much I love my country, that I did not serve or do anything in the form of volunteerism to help! Murica!"

It worries me that a lot of politicians are calling for involvement to combat ISIS. While I agree that they do not deserve a place on my planet, I believe you can not kill an ideology. The Boston guy who was shot by cops was said to be "instructed" or "radicalized" by ISIS... but had no direct contact with ISIS... I am sketchy on the deets, so, please forgive.

After the shooting in my hometown was found to have "links to ISIS" and ISIS was claiming responsibility, I joked that if you got a flat tire, and the tire guys found a nail in it, ISIS would claim responsibility.

This again leads credence to my statement that YOU CAN NOT KILL AN IDEOLOGY.

Presidential hopeful, and Southern belle, Lindsey Graham said, "If you are against war, don't vote for me." He wants to invade every country that is brown in the game of Risk. He actually served, but he was a poster child for REMFs* if there ever was one.

In the Iraq and Afghanistan theaters of combat, the total cost SO FAR is... I am skipping to the next line so it does not break at a comma...

$3,000,000,000,000.

T is for Trillion.

In the last couple of decades, the Veterans Affairs, has had budget cuts. Hospitals have been found to be run ineptly, to the point of being criminal. The backlog of paperwork is a perversion to people who actually love paperwork. Nothing new... Truman bitched about the VA needing help.

I mentioned the cost of the wars up there... But even more costly and makes me angry as fuck, is in the time it has taken me to write this blog, statistics say that a veteran, a person who has served this country honorably, has committed suicide.

Every 65 minutes.

In this coming election do some actual RESEARCH. Before you cast your vote for a person who might make a lot more veterans, look at the voting record to see if they do anything for the men and women coming home. Jobs programs for vets? VA funding? Assistance programs? PTSD acknowledgment? And then listen to "War Pigs". By Black Sabbath. Faith No More... Hell, even Cake does a nice cover...

The election is over a year away, so... in the mean time...

Operation Homefront

Wounded Warrior Project

USO

Support our troops?

Shadoobie, my brains been battered,

d

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and the Rolling Stones.

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* Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. People who make decisions in an air conditioned office that gets people killed.

Pictures of The Profit

So, last Sunday, after I had completed a nice little piece of work, feeling all proud, I started drinking. This being the normal modus operandi on most days that end in "y". Seriously, last week's entry was good, you should read it. I'll wait.

See?

So, I am in a chat room, listening to tunes. Feeling all spiffy when some lady from Canada asks, "Hey, didn't you say you lived in Texas?".

"Why, yes. Garland to be specific, Eh."

"Dude, you are on CNN!"

While my first thought was, "Man, that was a really good blog! To get scooped up that quick! I mean, even if it is CNN... Still..."

Not have cabling anymore, I went to the trusty interwebs. Sure enough, there was a shooting at the convention center in my town. Holy Testicle Tuesday, Batman... It happened less than three miles from my doorstep. 2.8 to be exact.

Next... What was going on at the ol' Curtis Caldwell Convention Center, besides alliteration?

"Draw the Prophet" Contest... Why in the name of all that which is truly fucking stupid would anyone do that? We will come back to that. Now, back to the breaking news.

Two gunmen pulled up in the front of the center, about 100 yards or so from the actual building. They got out and shot at some cop type peoples. They wounded one Garland ISD Cop type person... He was out of the hospital before 10:00 that evening.

The two gunmen then got lit the fuck up by another cop(s). Dead. It was really refreshing to see news of cops shooting ARMED suspects for a change. The two corpses lie in the street for a good long while because no one knew if the vehicle they were in was rigged with explosives or any other nefarious materials.

There were also later debunked rumors of a third gunman who hoofed it to the nearby Wal-Mart and had a grenade. Bogus sensationalism... *cough*CNN*cough*

So... Those are the facts... After doing 15 minutes of research, it played out a little like this...

Some assholes had a contest which they knew would piss off these other assholes, and the other assholes did indeed get pissed and wanted to shoot the first group of assholes. So the assholes went to shoot the assholes and got shot... I dunno if the person that shot them was an asshole... So...

Here are the cast of characters...

The two dead guys. Their names are public knowledge, but honestly, they were assholes. The media and a lot of the right wingers are making a stink about the connection to ISIS. ISIS would claim responsibility if someone farted in an elevator and it was complained about on Facebook.

The event organizers, the American Freedom Defense Initiative. Man... That is just a helluva name... It is all patriotic and jingoistic! They are listed as a "Hate Group" due to their hatred of Islam. They claim they are against the "Islamification of America"... Okay... Don't be Muslim if you don't like it. Done.

The event was christened a "Free Speech Event!". Let me get this straight... By having a contest, where the entries are drawings of the prophet Muhammad, which is considered verboten in the Muslim faith, that is "free speech"? Gee, if it looks like an asshole and smells like an asshole...

Pamela Geller, the head asshole and public assface, for the AFDI, has to be loving the publicity. I am betting her nipples could cut glass, and she had to change her panties. Twice. I had never heard or known about the event. I would have NEVER known about the event until this incident.

The AFDI's game plan is to try and buy advertising space for their purely anti-Muslim and anti-Arab propaganda, and if the person balks or tries to refuse to run the offensive material, the AFDI will threaten a lawsuit under First Amendment grounds. Then they would get the free publicity from the lawsuit.

I am crooked today... So, let me get THIS straight... Say I own a cab company. They come in, "Hey, I would like to run this ad, depicting all Muslims as wanting to kill everyone who is not Muslim, in all of your cabs."

"Um. No. That sounds like an asshole thing to do."

"WE WILL SUE YOU INTO THE STONE AGE!!! CALL CHANNEL 5!!!!"

"Well, will you pay for any damage done to my cabs or pay the hospital bills for any of my drivers who might, and probably will, get hurt driving with this fucking bulls eye in my cabs?"

"Well, that is a salient and well thought out point, and WE WILL SUE YOU INTO THE STONE AGE!!! CALL CHANNEL 5!!!!"

"Okay... I will allow it into my cabs..."

"WE WILL SUE YOU INT.... Wait, what? Oh... Fantastic... CALL CHANNEL 5!!!!"

Assholes.

Last perp in this little one act play of idiocy is ol' Mo himself.

I have looked into it... The best answer as to why you cannot draw Muhammad is that it prevents him being worshiped more than Allah. They saw what happened to Christianity... Idolizing something other than God. Even though Jesus was God... So... at the end he should have said "Forgive myself for I know not what I do"? I digress... and blaspheme!

I look at it like the final test to pass... "We have this guy... We love him because he was a prophet... And he had a direct line to Allah..."

"Cool beans, do you have a poster of him I can hang on my wall???"

"INFIDEL!!! WE WILL STONE YOU BACK TO THE STONE AGE!!!!"

And Christians... If I were to draw a picture of Jesus blowing a cross dressing Adolph Hitler, in an alley, behind a cheap Thai food place's dumpster, while he was getting fucked squarely in the ass by a pack of South Korean Elvis impersonators, while the radio played "96 Tears" by Question Mark & The Mysterians*, I would probably receive an unkind letter or ten... thousand... I am also willing to bet that one of those unkind letters would include threats to my very life... So...

All this week did is solidify my distaste for all things religious.

I do not condone violence over a cartoon. I do not condone violence over someone not believing in what you believe.

I am a rational human being.

People who decide that a drawing is worth killing over, can not claim to be rational human beings. They no longer get the benefit of the doubt. They no longer get a seat at the big boys table.

Organizations that claim "Free Speech", and do things to intentionally antagonize and provoke a group of irrational types, need to do so with out making my tax dollars pay for it.

The event had it's own security force. Not a detail, no... a force. However, due to the FORESEEN attack, I know a great many people who work for the City, as I do, put in some overtime. My boss was one of them. She didn't make it in Monday. She was still part of the "Emergency Operations". They had to bring in food... They had to run school buses to shuttle the event goers to safety... They had to set up and make ready for the FBI, the DHS, and whoever else wanted jurisdiction... That is not something done on the cheap...

This weekend, the Curtis Caldwell Convention Center is holding a massive graduation ceremony. I have heard some parents are not letting their kids walk or participate due to fear of more attacks or retaliation.

Meanwhile... Pamela Geller has made off with a nice little sum and a lot of publicity off the incident, that she undoubtedly caused.

I am not a fan of terrorists or religious extremists... I am even less of a fan of parasitic cunt nuggets who dare them to come into my backyard.

Happy Mother's Day!

d

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* Just wait til the next time you hear "96 Tears"... YOU'RE WELCOME!

Tennessee V. Garner.

So... Lessee... Baltimore ate itself this week. Or at least attempted to. I think the breakdown of looters vs. peaceful protesters broke out to maybe 15%/85%... The peaceful types were the 85%... Just for clarification... Something the media epic failed at denoting.

Were there asshats looting, and breaking the windows of small businesses, and setting things on fire? Yes. Sadly, many reports are that the people causing all the ruckus were not even from that neighborhood. It was people who were just opportunistic parasites.

This cauldron of pent up emotions suddenly erupted over the death of Freddie Gray...

Wrong.

Dead fucking wrong.

A cauldron is a large, metal, cooking apparatus. It holds a large quantity of fluid. You can't just strike a match and have the contents suddenly boil over the edges of the cauldron. No. That fire would have to be started. Tended to. Stoked. More fuel to the fire would have to be added over time to increase the volatility of the atoms of what ever was being heated.

So.. Maybe a culmination of events were the last pieces of the fuel. Freddie Gray's nearly being decapitated while in police custody. Coming a couple of weeks after Walter Scott was straight up murdered by a police officer. That came a week after a man was killed by a 73 year old Sheriff's Deputy wanting to taze a suspect who was running away, but grabbed his gun instead. Well, oops.

This all coming after the Ferguson SNAFU. SNAFU means "Situation Normal: All Fucked Up".

And it truly is just that. All fucked up.

I have mentioned the "salt of the Earth types" I work with. Basically rednecks, all of a different degree or hue. And we discussed the situation in Baltimore. They said I wanted to blame "society" for all the things that happened. They maintained that Freddie Gray made his "choice".

I did point out the economic hardships that have plagued Baltimore for decades, the manufacturing bust of the region as those jobs were shipped overseas, education failings of the inner cities, drug culture being almost allowed as long as it doesn't cross certain invisible boundaries, abject poverty, homelessness, minimum wage jobs that do not let a person live...  But yeah... He made a "choice".

The Ferguson situation was jacked because there were so many misleading reports from start to finish. "He was a mean kid who stole cigars from a convenience store just before". Um, I used to steal smokes from the Augusta, Ks. Dillon's Supermarket all the damn time... I was a great kid... Just didn't have the $1.60 for a pack sometimes... And addicted to nicotine... It was more of a public service... Keeping me cool and calm... Not plowing down school children...

The Walter Scott murder would have been another "gotten away with it" if it wasn't for the passerby recording the whole thing on his cellphone camera. The cop on his radio states "Shots fired. Suspect is down. He went for my tazer." Which he didn't. The tazer in question was placed next to the handcuffed corpse of Scott. It was moved closer to the handcuffed corpse by another officer. Brothers in blue, indeed. The FIFTY ONE year old man ran from a police officer and the officer fired at him EIGHT times.

In Tulsa, an old bastard, who reads like a man who read one too many Louis L' amour novels, and probably can only get an erection if there is a picture of John Wayne in his line of sight... Well, this old bastard greased the right palms, made the right contributions and donations, and Lo' And Behold... Sheriff's Deputy! At 73...

I have hung around old people. I worked at two old folks homes during, and a little after, high school. And these were not the "Retirement Communities"... No, these were Death's Doorstep Type Places. A lot of old people are racist as all hell. You tell yourself, they "don't know any better" and it "was a different time". You just wince and carry on. And hope to any fucking higher power that no one gives them a fucking badge and a fucking gun.

Or gives them too many options like A) Gun. B) Tazer. Hmm... Choices choices...

"OH, BUT SIR!!! In all those cases those people broke the law and made the choice to run or resist! They were criminals!!!"

True. My commute in the mornings is 1.5 miles. By the time I hit my desk at work, I have committed at least 5 crimes. It is pretty much the same with a vast majority of the population. If stopped, I would probably not run... More on that at the conclusion.

The point being, fleeing arrest, running, and stealing cigarettes SHOULD NOT BE CAPITAL CRIMES. THEY SHOULD NOT WARRANT A DEATH SENTENCE. This being the part where the title makes sense... "Look it up", as my Dad was fond of saying.

In Federal law, there are 41, just 41, capital crimes... States with the idiotic death penalty would probably be somewhere around the same number. The exception more than likely being Texas, where the Pro Lifers  Hypocrites in charge love them some death penalty. so there are probably double the number of capital offenses.

With the surplus of military weaponry being flooded into municipalities, some 4.7 BILLION dollars, why are there not more non-lethal options?

If cops are in "fear for their lives" so much... Maybe we need some cops with bigger balls? The ones I continually keep hearing about seem to remind me of Jimbo and Ned from "South Park".

If a suspect is running "away"... How does that equate "fear for your life"? Again with the title.

I think the people who are running are in fear for THEIR lives from those who advertise that they are there to "Protect and Serve". And maybe they heard that one nifty statistic, that in the last 5 years or so, you were 50 times more likely to be killed by a cop than you were a terrorist.

_______________________________

I do not think all cops are bad. There are some damn fine officers out there doing a not fun, thankless job. Jon Stewart phrased it perfectly...

"You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in the country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach. The two ideas are NOT mutually exclusive. You can have great regard for law enforcement and still want them to be held to a higher standard."

_______________________________

From above... If I were stopped, I would probably not have to worry about running... I am white.

I will be recording though,

d

This blog brought to you by silence. It was not fun to write. But I wanted to get this out of my head. So many reports and time has been given to this sort of stuff... It is difficult to express without "quasi-plagiarizing", so I have linked and cited for the most part... Ugh... Just sucks.

Really, Neil Sedaka??? Really?

This last Friday, I had drinks with a friend. She has been going through a break up. I care a great deal for this person. One of my favorite people and all. There are about 50 to 60 of them. The rest... meh. I was actually married to her and we actually broke up... On a greater scale. More on the difference between breaking up and divorce later...

We were having many drinks. I am pretty sure the reasoning my ex-wife wanted to get a drink with her ex-husband is because she has more than a modicum of trust in me. I would suspect she would also be tired of getting the same ol' platitudes that one, without fail, receives upon announcing a break up...

"Everything happens for a reason"... Sure, care to share what that reasoning is, ass face?

"When one door closes another one opens..." Well... Given the number of doors on the planet... Given the number of people on the planet... I am sure, statistically speaking, the probability of a door being closed, and a completely different door being opened, simultaneously are pretty fucking high, Einstein.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea..." And a metric fuckton of medical waste... Thanks for that, would you like to jab me in the eye with a dirty needle that just washed up on shore while you are at it???

The spouting, while well intended, does nothing. Much like when someone says, "I am praying for you." They should have said, "You are on your own, best of luck. I am doing the least amount possible." I do not send "prayers" or "positive thoughts"... I have been known to send a dirty limerick...

She came to me because she knew if, in the midst of her explaining the situation and factors contributing to the break up, I smelled bullshit, I would call her out on it. While never a fragrant affair, from what I gleaned, she knows what her shortcomings were in the relationship. I, not knowing the other parties take on things, but knowing her, feel she was justified in pronouncing it dead.

It is one of the bigger precipices you will face... It is the cliff at which most of us have stood before. Below us, the murkiness of the "Unknown". All around us, the "Present Situation", in the form of a maelstrom of anger, doubt, insecurity and the glimmering hope of "what could be". The cliff becomes higher and more daunting the longer the relationship has been going on. 

No one can decide how bad the storm of the present that you are weathering has to be before you make the decision to jump. That is yours and yours alone. It can depend on how real the hope of everything working out is, versus the colossal shitstorm that has driven you to the edge. One thing I can suggest... "To thine own self be true". Has a better ring to it than, "Fuck all the bullshit, trust yer gut."

When you start to doubt yourself in a relationship, every previous relationship barges back into the ol' cabeza. Your own special Hell! Joy! 

This mental deluge, is all our baggage we have not dealt with. You do not get to be in your late 30's or older and not have some baggage. I have always tried to at least make mine a matching set. One of the biggest foibles is to try and denounce your baggage at the beginning of a relationship. I am not suggesting you shine a spotlight on it or anything...

"So, do you have any baggage?"

"Want that alphabetically or chronologically?"

If you are in a relationship and you are feeling neglected, shit on, taken advantage of, or just not getting out of it what you think you deserve, ask yourself "What would I tell someone I care about to do in the same set of circumstance?".

Another wonderful thing about breaking up... The damn truth usually comes out. Most will say communication is vital to every relationship. Granted... So is being honest in what you are communicating. To do that you FIRST have to be honest with yourself! 

Discovering how a person REALLY felt can be cathartic or Damage, Inc..

The other person has assured you time and time again, "No, that doesn't bother me at all."... 

You break up... 

"That bugged the living shit out of me. Every time you did that, I wanted to attack your genitals like a rabid honey badger wielding a cricket paddle and a blowtorch."

It is a matter of deceitfulness... It is wrong... It paints the entire relationship with more than a hint of wasted time. Living a lie. 

Most males will do this, only on little things, to ensure that nudity and touching will continue.

___________________________

My only advice is the same with everything you feel falls in the "Failure" column. Learn from that shit. 

"Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it."

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

"Those who do not LEARN FROM history are doomed to repeat it."

In those "In Between" times of being in a relationship, work on YOU. Be better. Love your self. Sometimes twice.

More importantly, work on sorting your baggage. Examine all those old relationships with a self deprecating eye. Be critical of yourself. Then... Put them away. The next time they rear their hydra like head, you have a better command of them and are stronger for it. They will be a preservior rather than an anchor weighing you down.

Before getting into another relationship, know your WORTH. If you are reading this, you know me... So, you have that going for you...

__________________________

Now, as for the difference between a break up and divorce... One costs a whole lot more. One has an ass load more paperwork, and one is legal and public decreeing of Failure! There is only one sure fire way to avoid it... Don't get married.

There I go, turn the page,

d

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Jesus Hates Indiana

I let the Christians off last weekend for two reasons... It was Easter, the Day of the Zombie Jewish Carpenter, and I had to go back and make sure I did not repeat myself from an earlier blog...

I should really categorize these a bit better with meta tags... But that is not your concern... Moving on...

In the state of Indiana, the Religious Freedom Act was passed. I can only think this was a move to give attention to the epidemic plague of Christian values getting trampled. I know it is all to common to see homosexuals, liberals, Atheists, and the rest of the heathens, blocking good little Christians sheep from going to church... If I see one more bible burning... ugh... It breaks my heart when I am in a public bathroom and see a Crucifix toilet cake...

I have repeatedly heard the cries of the god-fearing, trying to protect our nation from Sharia law. It reminded me of a time when I tried to protect everyone from Shania Twain... It took a while, but, have you heard her lately? You're welcome. They both pose about the same threat level.

The main language of the Sharia law bills is such that it "Stops religious texts from a foreign land dictating the laws in the U.S."... Um... The Bible was NOT written in Joplin, Missouri and yet, more than a few laws have a huge slant towards one particular cult.

Christians main role model... A martyr. So, when they wear a bracelet that says "What Would Jesus Do?", they take it as "If I have been inconvenienced ever so slightly... It must be because I am a Christian... Which means they hate my religion. Ohhhhh... the persecution... it burnses!"

You are probably receiving the slight inconvenience because you are an asshole. Just because you are a Christian, you are probably a bigger asshole because you have a "Holier Than Thou" attitude about it.

In Indiana, if you are a business, you can now refuse to serve anyone if they live a lifestyle that you do not approve of, based on "Religious Freedom". I personally do not know how this needed to be a law. Let's role play this out...

1) Gay people/Muslims/African Americans/Canadians come into your place of business.

2) They would like to give you legal tender for your goods or services.

3) You, being a homophobic/religious extremist/racist/homophobic/jingoist whatever, piece of shit, don't want to take their legal tender. RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!

4) You have a sign that says "We exercise our right to be religious homophobic/extremists/racist/jingoist whatever, pieces of shit and refuse the right to serve anyone". Hell, you have it painted that painted in your window. Which is good, because you should never hide your true feelings... regardless of how fucked up they are.

5) You point to said sign. RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!

6) Gay people/Muslims/African Americans/Canadians look at you with pity and leave. They tell their friends. Their friends tell their friends. Soon, you are left with the KKK in your joint. Seig Heil. RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!

End of story. Why did this need to be a law? A private business retains the right to ask people to leave. Darwinism will sort that shit out. Were people able to sue the business for "Denial of service"? I would think that would only apply if a contract had been entered into, not a simple transaction.

I probably should have researched that part a little more for the blog, but since I think it is just more stupidity under the banner of "Religion"... I am only concerned because the fucking Christians are passing laws. How long before I am rounded up for moral indecency?

A co-worker has talked about opening a martial arts dojo. I asked about his business plan. I also asked what would happen if a homosexual man wanted training. I asked this because my co-worker told me he once refused a drink because it came in a martini glass and he felt "threatened" or "emasculated" by it. Nice guy and all, just a tad afraid of catching the "gay".

Well, if Texas gets "Religious Freedom", he may have an out!

A lot of people are boycotting Indiana... Um... What was the draw to Indiana in the first place? Honestly? What is the only shining light on this topic is that Indiana businesses have been obtaining stickers for their windows that express "This Business Serves Everyone". You can be damn sure if I were to ever find myself in that state and I had a choice... I'd pick the business with that sticker in the window.

Voting with the almighty. The almighty dollar.

Speaking of cash, I am almost finished with "Going Clear: Scientology and The Prison of Belief" by Lawrence Wright. In this book he details the history and incidents within the church and life of L. Ron Hubbard.

It is indeed shocking what people will put up with in the name of religion, and how much it costs them.

I think about explaining all the stuff about Xenu, Aliens, Galactic Confederacies from a Quadrillion years ago, and "thetans", to some of my friends... And how they would, without fail, tell me that is "Crazy".

Yet, these same people will get up early on Sundays. Get all gussied up. Drive to the Lower Case "t" Building. Listen to stories about resurrections. Living in a whale. The raping of angels. And a deity punishing his disobedient subjects in a lake of fire, for all eternity, because he loves them?

The author did himself a disservice by limiting the "Prison of Belief" to just Scientology.

I saw a quote this week that made me quite happy, "Blasphemy is speech that has been outlawed to keep your religion from losing arguments."

Reese's Peanut Butter eggs are still awesome,

d

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Clever Title To Make You Read

A friend of mine had a birthday this week. I decided to let her pick my topic...

The Trans Pacific Partnership.

Um... So... I have researched it, (sparingly - it is excruciatingly boring...)... And... Um... It could be bad. It is like NAFTA, which... Was bad? You can Google "Trans Pacific Partnership good" and see articles as to why it could be good, and then Google "Trans Pacific Partnership bad" and see another set of articles to the contrary.

International trade agreements are a tad above my pay grade. I do know that lobbyists and big corporations are salivating at the mouth, and other orifices, for this thing to ratify... So... Yeah... It is probably bad. I also know that the all the meetings between the players on this thing have been done in seclusion with zero oversight... Yeah... Most likely bad.

My hatred of corporations is well known, and thanks to this blog thingy, well documented. I will usually defend capitalism. I will not defend capitalism bereft of humanitarianism.

Exxon has devoted a couple of million to clean energy research, while raking in historical profits. Historical as in since there has been commerce on this planet. Fantastic... At the ratio of investing in alternative energy, they will be able to buy Canada after the U.S. coastal region, and Interior region, and the rest of it become uninhabitable.

Monsanto, another monster of a corporation, is literally bulletproof under the law. You can not sue them. It is almost illegal to NOT use their product. This week, or last, a reporter was talking to a lobbyist, who claimed that this one preferred chemical of theirs is perfectly safe to drink. The reporter then went all Erin Brockovich and informed that they had some, would he care for a glass? The interview ended shortly thereafter.

Many European countries have enacted bans/restrictions/regulations on Monsanto. They have specified that the foods treated with their chemicals have to be labelled as "Genetically Modified". That would never happen here... Our politicians are so bought and paid for.

Walmart... They always catch flack when they come to towns and try to build... Mostly from small Mom n' Pop shops who can't compete with Walmart's low prices. The fun part is when you realize HOW Wally got the prices so low... First, pay your employees the least possible and keep them at 38 hours a week, so they don't have to be offered benefits. Second, buy in bulk, which is a sound strategy, granted. Third, become such a global monster, that you can make companies pay YOU to sell their shit.

If I ever find myself in need a fifty five gallon drum of ketchup... Costco. Would it cost me three bucks more than at Sam's? Sure, but it is worth it to me. They are doing it right.

I am not against all corporations. There are some that appear to have a soul. It is usually those built by a dumb schmo like the rest of us. They built it with their own hands. The people who helped them build it along the way, are taken care of. From the shipping manager, to the receptionist. If the head honcho does well, they all do well.

A lot of companies start out that way. Then time takes it's toll. The head honcho dies. His spoiled little bitch kids inherit the company. They don't care about Frank, the guy who drives the forklift in the warehouse. Never mind that Frank and the deceased ex. pres. would have drinks at a bar every other Friday... It is always the "next gen" that perverts what was EARNED and WORKED FOR... Usually because they never had to work for or earn a damn thing in their spoiled lives..

The only exception to that I can find to that example is "Tommy Boy".

Certain institutions have become "industrialized". This does not bode well. The Incarceration Industry? The Military Industrial Complex? The Private Security Industry? The Health Care Industry?

When corporations are in charge of food, war, prison, and healthcare.... oh, and 95% of the world's wealth... and they have made themselves unaccountable to any regulatory body through lobbyists, the bottom line is that constants of death and taxes are now negotiable.

___________________

Slinging ass for money may be the world's oldest profession, I guess that would make the first pimp the world's oldest corporation... Caveman Ugg, Inc. "Did you want a blonde? Redhead? C'mon down to Uncle Ugg's Cave O' Happy!"

In "Aliens", by James Cameron, the bad guy was a slimy, acid in it's veins, black hearted, bastard... Named Burke, played by Paul Reiser. He was the Corporate Liason of Weyland-Utani... Accompanying, and dictating actions of troops during a military operation. Then they ran into some aliens. Upon reflection, almost every Cameron movie is pretty much anti-corporation. Also, for the record, THERE WAS ROOM FOR JACK, ROSE! You bitch.

They mostly come out at night, mostly,

d

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March Madness Indeed.

It has been a while since I went all political. There have been recent events that, singularly, were kinda laughable, as in "Oh, you silly idiot.". When examined as a whole, you will sprain eye muscles from rolling them so strenuously.

First, from Oklahoma (I would say "the great state of"... but), well known for the intellectual powerhouses of our time... Senator Jim Inhofe. This guy made a snowball on February 26th. He took it into the chamber, and used this prop to squash those pesky climate change rumblings... You know, the ones from those dang science folks!

Well, case fucking closed! I am just gonna head out and water my sidewalk! I am gonna invest in Koch Industries (not to the extent they most certainly invested in Sen. Inhofe) because we can lift all those terrible regulations that keep them from poisoning the planet faster.

All because some douche-stick made a snowball. In the north. In winter. In February.

Now, where it gets really googly eyed craze-balls is... wait for it... Sen. Inhofe is the Chairman of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. Environmental issues and concerns brought before the Senate will have to pass muster with this walking, talking pile of corruption... Awesome.

The lunatics are running the damn asylum.

Next... Sen. Lindsey "Clutch Tha Pearls" Graham. This southern dainty type is so effeminate, I hope he is aware of just how comical he is. To say he is an alarmist, is an insult to alarms.

In early March, during an interview, the Senator admitted that he had never sent an email. Ever. This was in response to the horrific, scandalous news about Hillary Clinton used a private email server when in office of Secretary of State. Heavens, no!!!

Clinton admitted to deleted a couple (32,000 or so) emails from her personal email server.  Of course, this means she got rid of all her dirty secrets and evidence that SHE was the once who masterminded Benghazi... From what she recalls, there were more than a few about her daughter's wedding... I figure that counts for at least 80% of them right there...

Also, if that is the case, what were in the 2 MILLION emails deleted by Bush Jr.?

Why does Graham's never sending an email make my taint itch? Not only because "HOW DO YOU NOT USE EMAIL??????? MY MOM USES EMAIL!", it is the nugget of information - ol' Linds sits on the Subcommittee of Privacy, Technology, and The Law. Technology... and the guy has never sent an email...

It's things like this that make Sweden look inviting...

Again in early March, forty seven Senators sent a letter to Iran. They essentially said, "Hey, those negotiations you are in with this administration? The next guy can make it go away with a stroke of the pen... So, nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo." Paraphrasing, but not by much.

The immediate backlash included a petition to have them all charged under the Logan Act. This act states, again paraphrasing, "Don't be a dick and undermine us when we are all negotiating." I signed that petition.

Defenders of these 47 simpletons brought up Nancy Pelosi's outreaching to Syrian assclown Assad in 2007. They say that was the same thing... Here is how it wasn't.

In 2007, under Retarded Cowboy the First, the U.S.'s foreign policy broke down into two distinct camps... "Places We Have Invaded" and "Places We Want To Invade". Syria was on the "Want To" list... We had no negotiations ongoing with Syria at the time. They were killing their own people, in their own borders... Fair game, play on. We have no problem with that... Cross an imaginary line... Well, you done messed up.

We have had ongoing negotiations with Iran about their nuclear program. We are currently aiding Iran on two active combat fronts, and working against Iran on two other active combat fronts... So to say that the negotiations are "precarious" is akin to saying "The sun is kinda warm". You have landed in "YA THINK???" territory.

So to have a young Senator, one Tom Cotton, run his word hole, and get 46 others to try and undermine the administration... Seriously dick move.

Lastly, four words...

Ted Cruz for President.

I dunno how this guy born in Canada can be president... I thought there were rules for that. Why has no one demanded his birth certificate?

There is (hopefully) no chance in hell that he can win... I think he is setting himself up to be a V.P. pick... Which would only make it one heart beat away from total calamity.

_____________________________________

For the record, I mentioned no political party... Not that I would have to... The Republicans took control of both the House and the Senate last November and the swearing in was earlier this year. The leaders of the party stated, "Now, we have to show that we can govern!"

Here's me, waiting with bated breath...

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon,

d

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