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Greetings, exulted one.

The title of this blog is in direct response to the query posited by the song from the 1980 album, "Christmas in the Stars", "What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (Who Already Owns a Comb)". Of course, a true Alpha Geek, like myself would know the answer to be "Nothing, Wookies celebrate Life Day. It is a call to return to Kashyyyk every three years for all Wookies"... But I digress.

In 5 days, I will embark on a quest, a sojourn of the soul, to see a piece of cinema called "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" with my father. He took me to see the first one back in 78... Well, it was at a drive in, and it was a "pay one price for a car load" deal, so... It was me, and 21 cousins... Remember clowns cars, where clowns keep plopping out? Yeah... something like that.

My history with the Wars starts then. I remember seeing the movie and then seeing plastic representations of the characters in the toy aisle... I did not want them... No... I NEEDED THEM... That one vehicle that was in two frames in Mos Eisley? My life was incomplete until I possessed it.

Did my pillowcase need to have X-Wings on it??? No... But somehow I slept better knowing I had full air support.

The family moved in 1979 from Michigan to Texas. It was a big deal. I was stupid young and everything was new. The first friends I made, guess what we bonded over? You damn right, "Star Wars". Many an afternoon, many a recess, was spent playing Star Wars. Not a video game, no... Actually running around with motorcycle helmets and blankets as capes...

"I am the coolest mother fucker... EVER"

See? (Yes... That is me... 1981... Don't judge!)


When I was old enough to know what money was, but before I knew I did not like sharing my money... I found ten bucks. Mom said "Would you like to go see a movie?"

"Fuck yeah, Mom", replied the 7 year old me! It was probably more along the lines of "Golly gee, that would be swell." It is difficult for me to remember a time when "fuck" was not part of my vocabulary... I refer to that time as "The Something Was Missing Era", and Mom refers to it as "Ages 5-8".

So, the family got in the car, stood IN LINE, to see a film called "The Empire Strikes Back". I believe it was the first time I was introduced to the concept of a "sequel"... This was before aintitcool.com and a dozen other internet sites devoted themselves to giving you every detail about a movie, before it comes out.

Little did I know that my 10 bucks paid for my family (ALL 5 OF US!!!), to see said movie. I learned an important lesson... Money found is to be pocketed.

I remember biking up to Redbird Mall in Duncanville to catch "Return of The Jedi". The place was packed... Everyone was digging it... Han Solo is getting thawed from the carbonite annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... The film melts.

My first thought was, "Special effects have improved a lot!"

My second thought was, "Fuckity fuck fuck...There is going to be a fucking riot any fucking second and I am going to fucking die." (I had discovered "fuck" by then and was getting every bit of mileage out of it. Making up for lost time!)

Flash forward a couple of decades... 1999. I was married to X2, out of the USAF, and in my career of Web Development. Through the miracle of the interwebs, I knew what was coming down the pike.

I went and saw "The Waterboy", IN THE THEATERS, JUST to see the trailer for "Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I remember the gents at work the next day, asking about it... and me stammering... "a dude... all devil looking had a FUCKING DOUBLE BLADED LIGHTSABER!!!"

I don't remember a lot of hoopla around "Attack of The Clones"... more of a, "Well... I might as well..." type of operation.

Now, "Episode III", I had heard it was going to get dark... I do remember the entire SkillsNET team running out and seeing it together...

Needless to say... I am looking forward to Friday, December 18th, 2015. In a big way. It has been 32 some odd years since I have seen the Millennium Falcon fly... And yes, in the first trailer for Episode VII, when it does show up... I teared up. And I fully represented my greek cred by noticing the new, more square radar array on top... Because as EVERYONE knows, the original radar array was lost when Lando Calrissian was piloting the Falcon into the bowels of second Death Star, NOT to be confused with the first Death Star, destroyed at the Battle of Yavin... Sorry... I get excitable.

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The original trilogy taught me a metric fuck tonne of life lessons...

Recognizing The Bad Guy: When Darth Vader showed up on the Blockade Runner at 4 minutes and 34 seconds of Epidode IV, there was ZERO FUCKING DOUBT in my 5 year old brain, "That there is the villian."

Love: At some point in your life, you have to respond to someone saying "I love you" with, "I know." And do NOT kiss your brother, even if it is to make a scruffy looking nerf herder jealous.

Dying: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you could possibly imagine"

Slave outfits, in the Golden Bikini Arena: Hells. Yes. (And a special shout out to Athena!)

I have often compared my Mom to Yoda. She was a big fan of the little green dude. She would quote him to me in order to make me understand... And it would usually work. And while I appreciated seeing him be a badass in the prequels... Frank Oz gave him SOUL... He was more alive (and a better actor) than 90% of the real people in the prequels...

May the force be with you,

d

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I'll Take What's Behind Door #3

We are coming up on an election year... So, a year ago, people started running for office. Well, they started skirting the idea... forming exploratory committees. Jeb Bush being the master at this. He did not announce for quite a while... and here is why...

When you announce, you can't really talk to the big money donors and PACs anymore... in public, anyways.

That is another blog... No, this one is about decisions. The country is facing a rather large number of perplexing dilemmas.

Right out of the gate... Do we love the Constitution or not? 

Silly question... OR IS IT??????????? Down the road a spell, in Irving, there were armed assholes marching in front of a mosque. They claim they were enforcing their 2nd Amendment rights... by infringing on others 1st Amendment rights?

Gun People - You wanna walk around with a shirt with the 2nd Amendment on it... Do it period correct... Instead of your AR-15, with penile compensating laser site, penile compensating 100 round drum mag, penile compensating improved gas return system, penile compensating flash suppressor, and penile compensating folding bi-pod, walk around with a flintlock long rifle.

Facebook, about twice a year, will be inundated with the memes calling for the drug testing of people receiving government assistance. 4th Amendment is up for grabs also... Nice.

A lot of the people who cite the Constitution, with an almost sacred reverence, will, in the same breath, speak of some action that directly conflicts with another part of the same document.

What makes me believe it a great piece of our foundation is the old white dudes in charge back then said... "We are bad asses and all, but we don't know shit about what's coming, so... I mean, we are still shitting outdoors and pissing into buckets in the corner!!! Let's give the people a way to CHANGE this document. I mean, slavery? It's cool now, because... ya know... We are doing this 'Make a Country' thing... We can't be bothered with manual labor... What are we? Amish?"

So... Do we love the Constitution? I do... Just needs some updating and people need some educating.

Next up... Who is to blame?

Fox "News", for the past three years, has been known as the "BBC"... Standing for "Benghazi, Blame Clinton"... The overriding narrative is that ol' Hillary killed 2 out of the 4 Americans herself...

Now, disregarding the fact that two Republican representatives have admitted that all the hearings that have called on the former Secretary of State to testify were political in nature, it seems that the witch hunt was partially successful.

A large number of Americans simply don't trust Hillary Clinton. She is the figurehead of the whole awful mess. She was the Sec. of State at the time... So... it was her responsibility... Head Honcho... It was her fault.

Mmmkay, Pum-kin... By that logic... Ex Retarded Cowboy President George "W is for War Criminal' Bush Jr. is solely responsible for 9/11. Why are their not hearings and committees with his ass in the hot seat? It was his responsibility. Head Honcho. It was his fault. (I about vomited when Jeb "The Smart One" Bush quipped at a debate, "My brother kept us safe.")

I am not the first one to draw this conclusion. I also noticed that when this notion started gaining some tread, the Benghazi rhetoric pretty much dried up and... died... quietly...

So... If you want to blame someone... Take a long look at the source of the finger pointing. Good chance, they have an ax to grind somewhere. Who's to blame?

 Now... on a ligher note... Guns or Mental Health?

Since the NRA has politicians bought or scared, and the number of mass shootings is becoming so incomprehensible, that the numbness - the "common place" attitude - towards them is as sickening as the act itself... What is gonna have to happen before something gets done?

And since it CAN NOT be a "gun problem"... it has to be a "mental health" issue. Well, then... DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH!!!

I saw a video this morning, a "pastor" was claiming that since the guns in the San Bernadino shooting were bought legally, and California has strict gun laws... The "system" was working. I have 14 dead and 21 wounded who would beg to differ. Well... 21 will beg to differ. 14 would just beg to not be dead.

FUCKED UP SIDE NOTE - In the previous paragraph, I was gonna say "this week's mass shooting"... And the thought hit me... "I am gonna have to be more specific". THAT is fucked up, friends.

It was from a "pastor", so I take it with a grain of salt... "it" being anything spoken by him.

The claims and buzzwords of "terrorism", "Muslim", "ISIS", "Islamist Extremists" were bandied about... and I waited... and waited... Then, bam... "What was their mental state..."

Gee, people did a completely heinous act... Let's try to understand it... Sorry, kids, and Nietzsche...

"If you gaze for long enough in to the abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you."

You are not going to change the abyss... But lets not give the fucking abyss access to an AK-47.

We have to, HAVE to, either do something about guns or crazy fuckers. Something tells me there is no shortage of, and will ALWAYS BE crazy fuckers... so... What is left in the goddamned equation??????

Are you Pro Life or just Pro Birth? 

Protest and try to close Planned Parenthood all ya like, but then you damn well better not cut social programs that help struggling mothers who were FORCED to have the fucking kid.

This week another "pastor" said that is was time that Planned Parenthood people should run and hide. From what, Mr. "man of god"? Why should they run and hide? From you and your sheep? You are now in command of the wisdom of your god? It has told you what you should do? I thought your Christ was all "peace and love" and it was them thar "Islams" we had to worry about? Or are you trying to stay "trending"? You make me fucking sick, you fucking cock smoker.

Did you know that the huge drop in crime in the 90's has been attributed in a large part to legal abortions? This is due to women in dire situations NOT having to birth a child that they would not care for, nor love, nor try to make a productive member of society. Elvis, "In the Ghetto", hello?

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I can't be the only voice. But again... I smell bullshit, I call bullshit.

There are decisions to be made, for sure. There is an election coming up and if you don't make at least one vote, a whole fuck ton of decisions are gonna be made in your name and you will have to live with the consequences.

For the sake of the "f", "u", "c", and "k" keys on my keyboard, get and stay informed so when you DO go to cast your vote, you will at least know why you did so. We can talk about how wrong you were later...

Apathetic, to the stunned,

d

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