Make With The MMXVII

Monday edition because yesterday...  Being the BeBe Jeezys' birthday and all...

Lessee... January was David Bowie and Alan Rickman.

February was Justice Antonin Scalia and Harper Lee.

March was Sir George Martin and Garry Shandling.

April was Prince and Merle Haggard.

May was Morley Safer.

June was Muhammed Ali and Gordie Howe.

July was Garry Marshall.

August saw the passing of Kenny Baker and Gene Wilder.

September was Arnold Palmer.

October was facts and logic.

November was Ron Glass, Fidel Castro, Florence Henderson, and hope.

And in December, with 5 days yet to go... John Glenn and George Michael.

Did I know any of these people? Not really. Did they have an impact on my life? Some more than others. Are these the only people of note who passed this year? No... Fucking Grizzly Adams, man! FISH IS DEAD... But... To be honest... We all thought Abe Vigoda died 20 years ago. It was a terrible year for "Barney Miller" I tells ya! More than one person on that list provided laughs, or took away the strife of the day through entertainment... So, they were aces in my book.

This year has sucked. I can only support this opinion from my own point of view.

In world events, January saw the Zika virus hitting the U.S.. Flint, Michigan declared a state of emergency. I think 13 people are going to be seeing jail time... Good.

February, with the aforementioned death of Scalia, saw the Supreme Court of the United States of America made "irrelevant". The Grand Obstructionist Party decided that it would rather have NO Supreme Court than allow the SITTING PRESIDENT his right, NAY, his duty, of nominating a Judge.

March saw terror attacks in Brussels. Of course, people here in the U.S. were worried about who was using which bathroom.

April saw Mississippi pass the "Religious Freedom" Bill. This allowed people/businesses with "religious beliefs" to be total assholes to anyone they wanted, without fear of repercussions, because... well... The bible told them they were special.

May saw Trump become the "presumptive nominee" of the Republican Party. In other tragic news, Harambe got shot... The best summation of that event was this:

Thanks, Opus. Also in May, Canada caught on fire.

June was just a swell month! There was the Orlando night club shooting. The UCLA shooting. That human piece of shit Brock Turner got his "sentence" of 6 months jail time (he did two months) for THREE FELONY COUNTS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT! Along with Ali and Howe, "justice" also laid to rest.

Oh, and across the pond, Britain, getting tired of the U.S. political system hogging all the "batshit crazy", decided to enact the "Brexit"... The next day, most of the populace, who were stoked into a nationalistic frenzy, were quoted as saying, "I voted for what?"

July was not much better. The FBI states that no charges would be filed against Clinton... And that was the last we heard 'bout that! (Italics denote sarcasm!) In my neck of the woods, a peaceful protest against police brutality went tragically wrong when a single individual ambushed police officers, killing five. I think there was an Olympics or something... Brazil was too busy eating itself to host it in any way resembling "orderly".

August saw Syria turning into MORE of a complete shit show. Just when you think Syria could not get more fucked... It is like Syria is taking it as a dare. "Oh, I can be more of a quagmire... JUST YOU WATCH!!!!"

Dakota Access Pipeline... That was September. People gathering to save their WATER SUPPLY and big oil saying "It's not like you people were here first!". The first of the "Presidential" debates aired. So, along with Palmer, so went the death of civility. At this point, people were just in a apathetic state with the whole election process. And there was at least a month to go...

October had Hurricane Matthew hit the eastern seaboard. Funny note... due to what the locals would call "Jesus Needin' To Have Somewheres To Stroll", and what smart people would call "Climate Change", the waters did NOT recede. The ground being super saturated and overflowing rivers in a few of the the Atlantic states caused problems with the water not really going... away...

November... We all know the terrible tragedy that befell this great nation in November. By electing Donald Trump, this nation saw hope getting grabbed by the pussy and assaulted. The Chicago Cubs won the world series... If that ain't a sign... I dunno what is.

December... I spent a cold ass week in Utah. So...  Enough said... Well.. Wait... Every nomination and appointment of the President-Elect is a dick slap in the mouth of all who voted for him. Furthering the thought from the previous paragraph, the whole holiday season was "muffled". The only way I can really summarize the way things have been since the election, is "Tainted". It is like the "Happiness Index" can only go up to 96%. That last four percent is not available as long as that Cheeto-Fucker is the President.

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Well... That was depressing as fuck.

Some quick shots of good news: The Army Core of Engineers told the Dakota Access Pipeline to fuck off. Obama is STILL doing some nice shit in his last days to make Trump have a bit of a harder time fucking us all. "Stranger Things" on Netflix... "Chewbacca Mask Lady" made me cry with laughter...

Um... That is about it... How fucked up is it that you have to Google , "Good Things that happened in 2016" and you read through them and can only remark, "Oh, you fuckers are reaching..." One site listed "Pokemon Go!" as a good thing... Okay... Sure... The bar has been sooooooo lowered.

I will say this... The light has been shown on the two legged cockroaches. People, emboldened by the election, are showing their true colors. I never feared the skinhead, swastika emblazoned, racist fucks... They were visible... They were a known quantity.

It was all those people who were just in shadowy wings... The periphery ... Waiting... People who you thought you knew. Now, they are not afraid to show their true colors. It is a feeling of disappointment on a mass, national scale.

I steel myself with the words from what is called "The Greatest Speech"...

"To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish." - Hynkel

Well... That and this... WELL worth the five minutes...

Thanks, John. Like the man says... "Let's all try harder next year."

With no love in our souls, and no money in our coats,

d

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The Audience Is Listening?

A few weeks back, I wrote a little blog here about winter winds. I was pretty damn proud of it. A friend who is a reader said it "painted a picture". Even better, it "painted a picture without involving clown porn".

This site gives me stats and number of times a blog post was viewed. It was there that I learned that a whopping twelve people read it. TWELVE. TWELVE! I hate that number. Probably due to it being my least favorite age... "Why are girls still icky.... BUT making me feel kinda funny and not AS icky???"

I was thinking about how I was kind of butt hurt by the whole affair. I was really happy with the way that post turned out and was looking forward to the adulation that was going to rain down from all of my fan. The last thing I was expecting was the sound of crickets.

It brought sharply to focus a phrase my Dad stopped me in my tracks with a decade or two ago... I was going to a parade, or making fun of a parade, I forget (Probably the later). He waxed philosophically, "Who is the parade really for, the people in the parade or for the people watching the parade?"

Mind Blah-own!

I like to think that I am not an attention whore. I have never felt the need to be the center of the party. I realize that if a party is for a specific person/event, they are the focus.

Having had an actual surprise birthday party thrown for me, where I WAS the focus, I remember being exhausted by the end of the day trying to be a good host at my house, and make sure everyone knew I was thankful for their appearance. Oh, and to let them know that heart attack inducing surprises are in store for each and every one of them.

Tiffany Rossetti... Watch your ass!

However, when I wrote that blog, and got abysmal readership... I might have uttered a "What the fuck?" or six... Am I really that thirsty (as the kids call it, and you add the words "for attention"... see all the time that saved????)?

After some soul searching... Yes. You damn right I want people to enjoy my writing. I don't just do this for my own amusement. I do this for the same reason people share anything... To inflict the demons from their head into yours! Share that burden, people!

The end game has always been that a reader suggests this blog to a friend. The friend has a chuckle, so they refer it to another friend. SOON, a person who has a shit tonne of money and is a publisher type person or something, says, "This is fantastic! Love this shit! I want to give that guy money to write!"

I would love, love, LOVE to get paid to this. First, I would be my own boss. Finally, a boss who I want to have sex with!!! Who am I kidding? I have sex with me for free anyways! And yes... You get what you paid for!

Second... I would smoke weed. A lot. As an "artist", I would think of it as a "creative juice extractor"... "Cancer preventative"? (Fuck you, FDA. 1000 times, Fuck you!)

Third... I would be getting paid to do something I like... I like writing and there is no paying "Lego Model Putter Together-er" jobs out there... Not even "Topless Lego Model Putter Together-er". I checked.

As the end of the year draws near, I will have some vay-kay time to burn. I know that I will kick out a blog or two over the holidays, maybe skipping next weekend to celebrate the Bebe Jeeezys' birthday. I know in my down time, I will be doing research on how to get my readership of the Bleed to go up.

Can you imagine a world with t-shirts that say "WOMEN AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO BLEED!" or "I FEEL THE NEED, THE NEED FOR THE BLEED!" or "THE HIGHPOINTBLEED TOLD ME TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK!"

It would make me smile... To see my Mom... Sporting a shirt that condones a penis getting pugilistically pummeled... Hell, I get misty eyed thinking about it.

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This week, I also discovered that my Facebook feed, since mid November, was set to only show posts to "Close Friends"

Of which, I have none. For fuck's sake, I only have 50 friends on Facebook. I keep that shit low. If you are my friend on Facebook, you are my close friend. I have known you for at least a decade OR at one time wanted to see you naked. All good.

That, more than anything, is the main culprit for the low readership the past few weeks. It is the only place I "advertise" a new posting. Once again... looking into remedying that.

Just think... All you peeps can do the "I was there from the beginning!" stance when I get all famous and stuff... Free t-shirts for the LOYAL peeps!

Final update... Still seeing the lady who has me smitten as a kitten. She called my writing "Brilliant". That means she is either 1) easily amused. 2) Has EXCELLENT taste, 3) Kinda likes me. Any way you slice it... I will take a piece.

We're on the road to nowhere,

d

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Paddle. Check.

So, I am at a conference in Utah. Had some time between presentations, so I jotted down some blog ideas. Pretty much have the rest of the year covered! Utah was not as useless as one would think.

This one idea was about how white water rafting is dangerous. On so many levels.

First there is the fact you have to be properly equipped and in good shape in order to successfully engage in the activity.

I mean you have to know YOUR limitations... What you can and can't handle. If you are not fully prepared and in shape to tackle the river... You are going to hurt yourself, or someone else.

While I know there are other people involved, sometimes old friends, who you rely on, and sometimes it is new friends, bonding over the common factor of insanity that is white water rafting.

Secondly, there is boarding and embarking on the journey. This in and of itself is a trying process. You do not know what to expect. The brochures make it look exciting as all hell!, and if you talk to anyone who has done it before, they will tell you about how wonderful it is. Your really good friends will tell you about the pain they endured... The bruises and broken things... It happens.

The beginning is uncomfortable. New sensations. New things to learn and remember. The price of negligence is costly.

So... You are fully on the river... Flowing along. You have to be careful NOT to get off course. You can take the wrong fork and be completely and wholly fucked. There will be forks in the beginning that may be easy to recognize the proper channel to take will be obvious. Now, if the waters get choppy and rapid, the choices have to be made in a heartbeat, and the consequences dire...

There is also the peril of getting swept away. Not caring... Letting yourself go and just seeing "where the river takes you". It can be inviting and alluring to do so.. Throw out the "It is what it is!" or "YOLO!" (which I am happy to say is one of the good things to die in 2016) comment and just surrender.

The major drawback is that you may not like where you end up, and how costly is was to get there in money and time...

Speaking of time, it becomes an even more ethereal thing... Seeming to have stretches of forever, where you don't even notice or remember the last time you saw the river. Then there are times where you feel like there is not enough time, it is flying by so fast, before you know it... you have to say goodbye to the river...

Another thing, and this is just my personal opinion... when you are in a raft... and cruising along... Other rafts may show up... Rafts you have been on before... You know the raft... And while that journey ended, the raft was not really the issue... So... It may look tempting... BUT... beware.

Trying to navigate between two rafts... That is exactly when the waters will get choppy and agitated beyond comprehension. The likelihood of capsizing BOTH rafts, and a whole lot of misery, and drowning, is increased by a magnitude of eleventy billion. I avoid that shit like the plague.

If you communicate with people who are in the raft with you... And hell, even with the raft... With the river... The chances you will successfully navigate the churning, frothy, waters improve dramatically. It is a team effort.

Now... in every excursion on the river... There may come a time to bail. The waters are raging. There are rocks ahead. There are many, many signs telling you, SCREAMING at you, "Danger Ahead! Like 'you are going to end up bloody' Danger, and it is coming at YOU!"

This is the decision that will haunt you for a while. The decision you will look back on with regret. Wishing you had, or wishing you hadn't... You will look back and wonder "What if?", more than once.

If that point comes to fruition, you will wonder, "How in the name of fuck did I get here? I was smart. I planned ahead. I followed the rules." When white water rafting, the rules are in place, and through no fault of your own, you can find yourself in the aforementioned Pucker Factor 5000 Danger Zone.

Sadly... There may not even be ANY danger. The waters calm and serene... And you will still want to exit the raft. There is not any other rafts that have drawn your attention... There is no turbulence... Some white water rafting trips just don't work out... Nobody's fault. Just not the right time... You do your best to minimize the damage to yourself and others when this happens.

After all the warnings... You may be wondering, "Why in the name of all this is holy and unholy would anyone subject themselves to that???"

There is no feeling like it. Butterflies. Thrills. You feel like you have the opportunity to be the best version of you that you can be. You make memories. A shared experience that is yours to cherish forever. Regardless of what happens... If you have been on that river for a while, it has left your heart and soul with it's imprint.

You can't get that standing on the shore.

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Wait... I was thinking about relationships and falling for someone... NOT white water rafting. I would not go white water rafting if you paid me. And paid me well. Lots of zeros. Read it again, and do the analogy/metaphor thingy... Rafts are people... River is a relationship... That sorta shit.

I am in a relationship. While that nomenclature is pretty broad... It is easier to type than "We are enjoying each other's company and seeing what happens in an organic and natural progression (And we enjoy the kissing and fooling around)."

For the record.. Utah was bitter fucking cold. First time I have been on a plane that needed to be "de-iced", which makes ones sphincter twitch a tad... The best part of the trip was the sandwich in the airports Gordon Biersch's restaurant when departing the Beehive state.

The Artisan Grilled Cheese... Gruyere cheese, four strips of thick cut, hickory smoked, bacon, a flavorful avocado mayo spread on sourdough bread, grilled to perfection... FUCK YES! Can't recommend enough. And according to the internets... They are everywhere, not just in Salt Lake City International Airport! SCORE!

Parting shot... 10,000 some odd views on my little writings... I appreciate it...

Up the creek,

d

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The State Snack is Jell-O

Tomorrow I am heading to Utah for a conference. Third time to this conference, and it will be the same people talking about the same thing. Always in Utah. So... down and dirty blog time.

Flying north in the winter is a bad idea, ask any damn migratory bird. The organizers announced that they were going to have it in December this time so people can go skiing after the conference. There was a smattering of "ooohs" from the audience. the rest of us were thinking, "December in Utah... Lovely."

I have the Nook loaded up with movies and books and all manner of diversion.

The hotel bar does not carry Coke products... WTF? I asked the bartender for a Jack and Coke, and he asks, ""Will a Jack and Pepsi do?"

"No. No. Hell no."

We are down the street from a cult temple. Ever been somewhere and everybody seems well adjusted and nice? Yeah... I am not a fan either.

The weather will be unseasonably... cold... and the highest temperature during the sentence will be 34. The HIGHEST temperature...

My folks are in town to watch Lily... AND give me presents for Xmas when I get back...

I will get paid on the day we fly back.

I am looking for any silver lining, because this will be the first trip in quite some time that I have someone I want to get back to.

She still likes me. I like her.

Thursday is so very far away,

d

No tunes this time... BUT... to get macabre.... If I were to perish... Mom and Dad get all my shit... Delete the "Downloads" folder on my computer - Trust me. Just do it....