There are people out there that are concerned about yours truly. They have an idea that consumption of alcohol, done at a rate beyond their comfort levels, or ability to handle, is "Bad".
So... Let us explore proof that your Invisible Sky Daddy loves us... Booze!***
My relationship with booze is a little fuzzy... heh... I just re-read that... I can't remember if it was me, my brother, or me and my brother that found the keg at an Aunt's wedding. We were 3 and 4 or something... Jusssssst the right height.
Then there was a beer one of our friends found in an alley during the summer of '83 or '84. So, our most glorious and taboo prize is a can of beer... Not a good beer... That has been in an concrete alley, baking in the Texas summer heat. If it were any warmer, that would not be carbonation causing bubbles, but bubbles brought on by temps reaching "boiling" status.
Then high school... Not Duncanville, TX... No... Augusta, KS.
Susan Whitaker, and friends, piled into her Mustang. I was found by them, wandering around my new town. I was introduced to something called "Purple Passion". Grape Soda + Everclear. Everclear is liquid death. 195 Proof. About 95% alcohol.
I, not being aware of the rocket fuel involved, was hitting the 2 liter pretty decently. Before I knew it... I was not only funny as hell, I was charming as ALL HELL, could dance better, became 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.
In reality, I was a babbling, incoherent, spastic, belligerent douche. Still... Funny as hell... That was never in question.
Small town Kansas... Friday nights... Boredom... Yeah, lots of booze. Mostly shitty beer.
The difference between High School consumption and consumption during my USAF years was the amount of camouflage being worn. That, AND the quality of beer. I was in Tacoma at the height of the microbrewery explosion. Had some very nice beers.
I only drank with regularity when I was single in the USAF. When I am married, I guess I am more depressed, so... let's not compound that shit...
In the USAF, we could rationalize the semblance of control by going out for drinks only on days that ended in "y".
We always had one in the group that tore it up the day before, that would be the designated non polluted person. Ensuring we all got home safe n sound. Only once, Kelly Kabbot did pass out on McChord AFB's golf course. As some Colonel's were getting in 18 holes, early Saturday morning.
We might have been told to ratchet it back a bit...
I got a part time job, while on active duty, on the weekends... Just so I would have less time to drink... Funny thing... That job started at 5 PM... Air Force ended at 3:30 PM... You'd be amazed how tore up a determined, 24 year old guy can get in 90 minutes. Lesson learned there is... NOTHING beats a job you don't need!
The USAF was the epitome of social drinking. We went out as a crew. 10 to 20 deep, each and every night.
The day after I was discharged... I think I had a beer. Single. Uno. Ein. Un. One. The two weeks before that? Between a sixer and twelve pack. Nightly...
After the USAF, I would have a beer occasionally while married to X2. Her family, once realizing that I would only accept a beer at gatherings after being asked three times, would greet me with, "Hey Dougie... Wanna beer? Wanna beer? Wanna beer?"
I had a six pack of beer in the fridge for a Super Bowl. I think I finished it off the next Super Bowl. Tasted a little skunky...
In between X2 and X3, I discovered my hetero life mate. The man who will always be welcome in any residence I ever dwell. He listens. He whispers. He gets me, and I get him.
Jack Daniel's. Old No. 7. Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey. Distilled & Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery. Lynchburg, Tenn USA.
I mix that with a little Coca Cola... And life is suddenly brought sharper into focus. I mix more than a few of those and life is suddenly a bit more fuzzy and less "sucky". Thanks, Elroy!
My friend and I would walk into the Chili's in Waxahachie on a Friday night, and the bartender would, without fail, go get another bottle of Jack from the back. She knew she would need it.
During X3, I did not drink that much... What was the point? Nothing could have helped that mess.
After... Operation: "Resume Life Enjoyment" was a go. There was a new understanding and appreciation this time though. A more sophisticated approach. I did not drink to get drunk and wild. I drank because I enjoyed the flavor. I drank because I wanted to reward my not losing my shit on the copious amount of people who deserved it. I drank to mellow out.
Discovered mead at the Ren Faire... read about that here! My love of that nectar is well documented...
These days... It ebbs and flows. For a stretch, it will only be on weekends... If I know I will be attending a 4 day event, where drinking is rampant, I will increase my consumption to build my tolerance for the event."Getting into drinkin' shape!" After an event, there will come a weening off period.
As long as I stick to my rules... I am okay.
1) Don't be a dick. Don't let my "good time" impede someone else's "good time".
2) After 7 PM. I will not drink until after 1900 hours. Day drinking may commence once or twice a month. Only on Saturdays. Such as a nice Saturday, when writing a blog about booze. (It's today!!! Cheers!)
2.5) "A man's got to know his limitations." - Dirty Harry. Don't get sick. So stupid.
3) May drink one day during the week. The rest of the imbibing is done on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
4) Always mixed. Never just straight Jack. If I have no cokes... I don't drink. I may not have food in the fridge... but there will be cokes.
5) Know why I'm drinking. Could be anything. Reward. Weekend. Don't drink just to drink. Have a reason.
Now... As I stated earlier... People get concerned with booze. A friend was worried about another mutual friend's consumption. She asked me to confront our mutual friend about it.
"Um... He is a grown ass man. So... No?"
I was not mad at her, because I knew she was coming from a place of love. Still... No.
People really like to enforce their shortcomings on you. "I get stupid when I drink, and since I am the epicenter of the entire fucking universe, YOU must get stupid when YOU drink."
No, Judgy McJudgeNuts., I don't get stupid. I get funnier, charming as ALL HELL, dance better, 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.
_____________________________________________
I make a string of posts... all about Jack Therapy... and I get more private messages from people who have not uttered a word to me in years...
Again, knowing that they are coming from a place of caring - I bit no heads off. "Thanks for the concern and all that". Grown ass man. Proceeding with enthusiasm... And Jack.
I don't need it. I want it I earned it... and it is because <insert reason here>
Helps the writing process... yeah... that's it...
You can not kill what you did not create,
d
The blog brought to you by Belly, Peeping Tom & Kid Koala, ZZ Top, Metallica, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Alice In Chains, Seaweed, Slipknot*, Asia, Goo Goo Dolls, and Nirvana.
*** - Alcoholism is not a joke. I am not making light of people with that awful disease. IF I were to ever feel like I was losing control, I would seek help. It is covered on my insur... Oh, wait... It's now a pre-existing condition... We are fucked. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Belly =)
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how I missed this.
ReplyDelete