After this week...
Just tell the people who you care about that you DO care. You never know if and when your simple act of saying "Hey." to someone will make their day.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 24/7/365
1-800-273-8255.
Please,
d
This blog brought to you by Chester Bennington. Chris Cornell. Marnie. Possibly over 20 veterans EVERY DAY...
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Scare Tactics
I saw that North Korea has an inter-continental ballistic missile capable of reaching Alaska.
Kim Jung Un is not the most stable person on the planet. He still thinks Dennis Rodman is relevant... He has had people executed by shooting them with an ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUN!
When his pappy died, and he took over, there was some smack talk. I figured that was to be expected because, ya know... He had to "out crazy" his Pops. His Pops, who was bat shit crazy of the highest magnitude, rattled his sabers. He did this to keep control of his population... By standing up to the Big Bad U.S.A.! (without actually having to stand up to the big bad U.S.A.) Pure theatrics.
NOW... Kimmy has a nuke... And the means of delivery. This puts them as one of my biggest fears at the moment. It is not number one, and here is why...
Alaska is within the current range of the missile. More importantly, Alaska is where Sarah Palin and the rest of that shit show are... So, if it gets nuked I can see a silver lining. Horrific nightmare... Granted... But... At least some good would come out of it...
The next thing that keeps me up at night is climate change. A couple weekends ago, I spent time arguing with a climate change denier. Was stupid on my part... I know that... NOW...
"You think my, or your, putting plastic bottles in a separate container is doing anything? And if you don't separate glass and plastics, that you will cause the planet to die? Seems kind of egotistical."
"Well, if it were just me polluting, and consuming, and not giving a fuck, that would not be as detrimental to the planet. Let me ask you a question... Is a penny substantial? What about 7.37 billion pennies? Kinda makes a difference when you get to that number... Which just so happens to be the population of the Earth."
This week, the fear was brought to the forefront of my head because an iceberg, the size of Delaware broke off the Antarctic Shelf. When MAPS have to be redrawn... This is "not good".
I fear Climate Change because this is the only Earth we have.
I am afraid of religion. Religious types. People who think that others should worship the way they do. If they don't, well, there are just unaware of how awesome that person's delusion is!
You have people out there, in positions of power, using this "divinity" to hold sway over large masses. The sway being so great, they can get away with pedophilia, murder, and then every goddamn Sunday, they collect them tithes, yo!
Religion is supposed to be separate from the State in this country. I see that barrier eroding daily. I considered starting or contributing to an existing defense fund for the guy who keeps running into and smashing commandments statues outside courthouses. He is a super devout christian guy, but loves the country a little bit more.
People are trying to legislate morality... And there is nothing really more frightening than that...
Well...
There is a man... Currently, as of this writing, he is in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He holds millions of people's hopes and fears in his hands.
George R. R. Martin is the writer of a series of books that are the direct inspiration for HBO's "Game of Thrones". He is a pretty old dude... like 69 or some shit... He don't really look like he has enjoyed a "salad". Ever.
He has been working on the latest novel for longer than any of his fans would appreciate (SIX YEARS, GEORGE!!!). Neil Gaiman once responded to the critics of Georgie's less than rapid production, by simply stating, "George R. R. Martin is not your bitch." Fine... but even Neil wants to know who wins the game!!!!
Given his age, health, and general sedentary, writing lifestyle... Homeboy is gonna pop before his finishes!
This can't be allowed to happen. To make things even more fraught with peril... he still writes on "an old DOS machine running Wordstar 4.0"... Technological marvel of 1983!!!
Which will give out first? His heart or the processor in that machine????
The last, but definitely not least, colossal fear goes by many names... All of them conjuring a picture of ineptitude and a disregard for basic human decency... I simply refer to it by "45"
I seriously try not to bash this collective group of imbecilic, feces flinging, shaved apes... But for fuck's sake... I am truly frightened that I have participated in my last democratic election.
This week was jam packed with "What The Fuck?" moments. It is mortifying that the defense against collusion with a foreign government is, "Well, it turned out the Russian lawyer we met with did not have any incriminating evidence, so... we couldn't collude. We sure as shit wanted to... But... It was just a waste of 20 min."
20 minutes that could have been spent doing what, Donnie Jr.???? Well... lessee... If you were to bend over, at the end of an active runway... perched on a stand... and allow the RUSSIAN Antonov An-225 Mirya, to fly directly into your rectum... You would, after 20 minutes of attempted anal breaching by the world's largest jet aircraft, successfully enter into a contest for "The World's Biggest Asshole". The main competition you would face would be your own actual asshole...
These fears have one major ingredient... One overriding common denominator. People.
I am afraid when one man has power over an entire country.
It scares me how men have control over masses of people, reducing them to sheep, and actually calling them their "flock".
I am afraid I won't learn how a favorite book ends!!!! Mysteries suck, George... Winter is coming!
The current "administration" has got me shitting myself... and I have to be careful. Chronic gastronomical distress may end up being a preexisting condition.
Stay away from Captain Howdy,
d
This blog brought to you by Bryan Adams, Beck, The Who, Tenacious D, Chef + Meat Loaf, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Ozzy Osbourne, Weird Al, Def Leppard, The Winery Dogs, Motley Crue, Rod Stewart, Peeping Tom, and Twisted Sister*.
Kim Jung Un is not the most stable person on the planet. He still thinks Dennis Rodman is relevant... He has had people executed by shooting them with an ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUN!
When his pappy died, and he took over, there was some smack talk. I figured that was to be expected because, ya know... He had to "out crazy" his Pops. His Pops, who was bat shit crazy of the highest magnitude, rattled his sabers. He did this to keep control of his population... By standing up to the Big Bad U.S.A.! (without actually having to stand up to the big bad U.S.A.) Pure theatrics.
NOW... Kimmy has a nuke... And the means of delivery. This puts them as one of my biggest fears at the moment. It is not number one, and here is why...
Alaska is within the current range of the missile. More importantly, Alaska is where Sarah Palin and the rest of that shit show are... So, if it gets nuked I can see a silver lining. Horrific nightmare... Granted... But... At least some good would come out of it...
The next thing that keeps me up at night is climate change. A couple weekends ago, I spent time arguing with a climate change denier. Was stupid on my part... I know that... NOW...
"You think my, or your, putting plastic bottles in a separate container is doing anything? And if you don't separate glass and plastics, that you will cause the planet to die? Seems kind of egotistical."
"Well, if it were just me polluting, and consuming, and not giving a fuck, that would not be as detrimental to the planet. Let me ask you a question... Is a penny substantial? What about 7.37 billion pennies? Kinda makes a difference when you get to that number... Which just so happens to be the population of the Earth."
This week, the fear was brought to the forefront of my head because an iceberg, the size of Delaware broke off the Antarctic Shelf. When MAPS have to be redrawn... This is "not good".
I fear Climate Change because this is the only Earth we have.
You have people out there, in positions of power, using this "divinity" to hold sway over large masses. The sway being so great, they can get away with pedophilia, murder, and then every goddamn Sunday, they collect them tithes, yo!
Religion is supposed to be separate from the State in this country. I see that barrier eroding daily. I considered starting or contributing to an existing defense fund for the guy who keeps running into and smashing commandments statues outside courthouses. He is a super devout christian guy, but loves the country a little bit more.
People are trying to legislate morality... And there is nothing really more frightening than that...
Well...
There is a man... Currently, as of this writing, he is in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He holds millions of people's hopes and fears in his hands.
George R. R. Martin is the writer of a series of books that are the direct inspiration for HBO's "Game of Thrones". He is a pretty old dude... like 69 or some shit... He don't really look like he has enjoyed a "salad". Ever.
He has been working on the latest novel for longer than any of his fans would appreciate (SIX YEARS, GEORGE!!!). Neil Gaiman once responded to the critics of Georgie's less than rapid production, by simply stating, "George R. R. Martin is not your bitch." Fine... but even Neil wants to know who wins the game!!!!
Given his age, health, and general sedentary, writing lifestyle... Homeboy is gonna pop before his finishes!
This can't be allowed to happen. To make things even more fraught with peril... he still writes on "an old DOS machine running Wordstar 4.0"... Technological marvel of 1983!!!
Which will give out first? His heart or the processor in that machine????
The last, but definitely not least, colossal fear goes by many names... All of them conjuring a picture of ineptitude and a disregard for basic human decency... I simply refer to it by "45"
I seriously try not to bash this collective group of imbecilic, feces flinging, shaved apes... But for fuck's sake... I am truly frightened that I have participated in my last democratic election.
This week was jam packed with "What The Fuck?" moments. It is mortifying that the defense against collusion with a foreign government is, "Well, it turned out the Russian lawyer we met with did not have any incriminating evidence, so... we couldn't collude. We sure as shit wanted to... But... It was just a waste of 20 min."
20 minutes that could have been spent doing what, Donnie Jr.???? Well... lessee... If you were to bend over, at the end of an active runway... perched on a stand... and allow the RUSSIAN Antonov An-225 Mirya, to fly directly into your rectum... You would, after 20 minutes of attempted anal breaching by the world's largest jet aircraft, successfully enter into a contest for "The World's Biggest Asshole". The main competition you would face would be your own actual asshole...
_______________________________________
I am afraid when one man has power over an entire country.
It scares me how men have control over masses of people, reducing them to sheep, and actually calling them their "flock".
I am afraid I won't learn how a favorite book ends!!!! Mysteries suck, George... Winter is coming!
The current "administration" has got me shitting myself... and I have to be careful. Chronic gastronomical distress may end up being a preexisting condition.
Stay away from Captain Howdy,
d
This blog brought to you by Bryan Adams, Beck, The Who, Tenacious D, Chef + Meat Loaf, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Ozzy Osbourne, Weird Al, Def Leppard, The Winery Dogs, Motley Crue, Rod Stewart, Peeping Tom, and Twisted Sister*.
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Last Call
About last weekend... I just needed a break. Entering into those long, lazy days of summer.
There are people out there that are concerned about yours truly. They have an idea that consumption of alcohol, done at a rate beyond their comfort levels, or ability to handle, is "Bad".
So... Let us explore proof that your Invisible Sky Daddy loves us... Booze!***
My relationship with booze is a little fuzzy... heh... I just re-read that... I can't remember if it was me, my brother, or me and my brother that found the keg at an Aunt's wedding. We were 3 and 4 or something... Jusssssst the right height.
Then there was a beer one of our friends found in an alley during the summer of '83 or '84. So, our most glorious and taboo prize is a can of beer... Not a good beer... That has been in an concrete alley, baking in the Texas summer heat. If it were any warmer, that would not be carbonation causing bubbles, but bubbles brought on by temps reaching "boiling" status.
Then high school... Not Duncanville, TX... No... Augusta, KS.
Susan Whitaker, and friends, piled into her Mustang. I was found by them, wandering around my new town. I was introduced to something called "Purple Passion". Grape Soda + Everclear. Everclear is liquid death. 195 Proof. About 95% alcohol.
I, not being aware of the rocket fuel involved, was hitting the 2 liter pretty decently. Before I knew it... I was not only funny as hell, I was charming as ALL HELL, could dance better, became 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.
In reality, I was a babbling, incoherent, spastic, belligerent douche. Still... Funny as hell... That was never in question.
Small town Kansas... Friday nights... Boredom... Yeah, lots of booze. Mostly shitty beer.
The difference between High School consumption and consumption during my USAF years was the amount of camouflage being worn. That, AND the quality of beer. I was in Tacoma at the height of the microbrewery explosion. Had some very nice beers.
I only drank with regularity when I was single in the USAF. When I am married, I guess I am more depressed, so... let's not compound that shit...
In the USAF, we could rationalize the semblance of control by going out for drinks only on days that ended in "y".
We always had one in the group that tore it up the day before, that would be the designated non polluted person. Ensuring we all got home safe n sound. Only once, Kelly Kabbot did pass out on McChord AFB's golf course. As some Colonel's were getting in 18 holes, early Saturday morning.
We might have been told to ratchet it back a bit...
I got a part time job, while on active duty, on the weekends... Just so I would have less time to drink... Funny thing... That job started at 5 PM... Air Force ended at 3:30 PM... You'd be amazed how tore up a determined, 24 year old guy can get in 90 minutes. Lesson learned there is... NOTHING beats a job you don't need!
The USAF was the epitome of social drinking. We went out as a crew. 10 to 20 deep, each and every night.
The day after I was discharged... I think I had a beer. Single. Uno. Ein. Un. One. The two weeks before that? Between a sixer and twelve pack. Nightly...
After the USAF, I would have a beer occasionally while married to X2. Her family, once realizing that I would only accept a beer at gatherings after being asked three times, would greet me with, "Hey Dougie... Wanna beer? Wanna beer? Wanna beer?"
I had a six pack of beer in the fridge for a Super Bowl. I think I finished it off the next Super Bowl. Tasted a little skunky...
In between X2 and X3, I discovered my hetero life mate. The man who will always be welcome in any residence I ever dwell. He listens. He whispers. He gets me, and I get him.
Jack Daniel's. Old No. 7. Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey. Distilled & Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery. Lynchburg, Tenn USA.
I mix that with a little Coca Cola... And life is suddenly brought sharper into focus. I mix more than a few of those and life is suddenly a bit more fuzzy and less "sucky". Thanks, Elroy!
My friend and I would walk into the Chili's in Waxahachie on a Friday night, and the bartender would, without fail, go get another bottle of Jack from the back. She knew she would need it.
During X3, I did not drink that much... What was the point? Nothing could have helped that mess.
After... Operation: "Resume Life Enjoyment" was a go. There was a new understanding and appreciation this time though. A more sophisticated approach. I did not drink to get drunk and wild. I drank because I enjoyed the flavor. I drank because I wanted to reward my not losing my shit on the copious amount of people who deserved it. I drank to mellow out.
Discovered mead at the Ren Faire... read about that here! My love of that nectar is well documented...
These days... It ebbs and flows. For a stretch, it will only be on weekends... If I know I will be attending a 4 day event, where drinking is rampant, I will increase my consumption to build my tolerance for the event."Getting into drinkin' shape!" After an event, there will come a weening off period.
As long as I stick to my rules... I am okay.
1) Don't be a dick. Don't let my "good time" impede someone else's "good time".
2) After 7 PM. I will not drink until after 1900 hours. Day drinking may commence once or twice a month. Only on Saturdays. Such as a nice Saturday, when writing a blog about booze. (It's today!!! Cheers!)
2.5) "A man's got to know his limitations." - Dirty Harry. Don't get sick. So stupid.
3) May drink one day during the week. The rest of the imbibing is done on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
4) Always mixed. Never just straight Jack. If I have no cokes... I don't drink. I may not have food in the fridge... but there will be cokes.
5) Know why I'm drinking. Could be anything. Reward. Weekend. Don't drink just to drink. Have a reason.
Now... As I stated earlier... People get concerned with booze. A friend was worried about another mutual friend's consumption. She asked me to confront our mutual friend about it.
"Um... He is a grown ass man. So... No?"
I was not mad at her, because I knew she was coming from a place of love. Still... No.
People really like to enforce their shortcomings on you. "I get stupid when I drink, and since I am the epicenter of the entire fucking universe, YOU must get stupid when YOU drink."
No, Judgy McJudgeNuts., I don't get stupid. I get funnier, charming as ALL HELL, dance better, 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.
Why is it that when ladies post a fuck tonne of memes about wine consumption, it is met with applause, and a chorus of "You go, Gurrrrl!"'s.
I make a string of posts... all about Jack Therapy... and I get more private messages from people who have not uttered a word to me in years...
Again, knowing that they are coming from a place of caring - I bit no heads off. "Thanks for the concern and all that". Grown ass man. Proceeding with enthusiasm... And Jack.
I don't need it. I want it I earned it... and it is because <insert reason here>
Helps the writing process... yeah... that's it...
You can not kill what you did not create,
d
The blog brought to you by Belly, Peeping Tom & Kid Koala, ZZ Top, Metallica, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Alice In Chains, Seaweed, Slipknot*, Asia, Goo Goo Dolls, and Nirvana.
*** - Alcoholism is not a joke. I am not making light of people with that awful disease. IF I were to ever feel like I was losing control, I would seek help. It is covered on my insur... Oh, wait... It's now a pre-existing condition... We are fucked. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
There are people out there that are concerned about yours truly. They have an idea that consumption of alcohol, done at a rate beyond their comfort levels, or ability to handle, is "Bad".
So... Let us explore proof that your Invisible Sky Daddy loves us... Booze!***
My relationship with booze is a little fuzzy... heh... I just re-read that... I can't remember if it was me, my brother, or me and my brother that found the keg at an Aunt's wedding. We were 3 and 4 or something... Jusssssst the right height.
Then there was a beer one of our friends found in an alley during the summer of '83 or '84. So, our most glorious and taboo prize is a can of beer... Not a good beer... That has been in an concrete alley, baking in the Texas summer heat. If it were any warmer, that would not be carbonation causing bubbles, but bubbles brought on by temps reaching "boiling" status.
Then high school... Not Duncanville, TX... No... Augusta, KS.
Susan Whitaker, and friends, piled into her Mustang. I was found by them, wandering around my new town. I was introduced to something called "Purple Passion". Grape Soda + Everclear. Everclear is liquid death. 195 Proof. About 95% alcohol.
I, not being aware of the rocket fuel involved, was hitting the 2 liter pretty decently. Before I knew it... I was not only funny as hell, I was charming as ALL HELL, could dance better, became 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.
In reality, I was a babbling, incoherent, spastic, belligerent douche. Still... Funny as hell... That was never in question.
Small town Kansas... Friday nights... Boredom... Yeah, lots of booze. Mostly shitty beer.
The difference between High School consumption and consumption during my USAF years was the amount of camouflage being worn. That, AND the quality of beer. I was in Tacoma at the height of the microbrewery explosion. Had some very nice beers.
I only drank with regularity when I was single in the USAF. When I am married, I guess I am more depressed, so... let's not compound that shit...
In the USAF, we could rationalize the semblance of control by going out for drinks only on days that ended in "y".
We always had one in the group that tore it up the day before, that would be the designated non polluted person. Ensuring we all got home safe n sound. Only once, Kelly Kabbot did pass out on McChord AFB's golf course. As some Colonel's were getting in 18 holes, early Saturday morning.
We might have been told to ratchet it back a bit...
I got a part time job, while on active duty, on the weekends... Just so I would have less time to drink... Funny thing... That job started at 5 PM... Air Force ended at 3:30 PM... You'd be amazed how tore up a determined, 24 year old guy can get in 90 minutes. Lesson learned there is... NOTHING beats a job you don't need!
The USAF was the epitome of social drinking. We went out as a crew. 10 to 20 deep, each and every night.
The day after I was discharged... I think I had a beer. Single. Uno. Ein. Un. One. The two weeks before that? Between a sixer and twelve pack. Nightly...
After the USAF, I would have a beer occasionally while married to X2. Her family, once realizing that I would only accept a beer at gatherings after being asked three times, would greet me with, "Hey Dougie... Wanna beer? Wanna beer? Wanna beer?"
I had a six pack of beer in the fridge for a Super Bowl. I think I finished it off the next Super Bowl. Tasted a little skunky...
In between X2 and X3, I discovered my hetero life mate. The man who will always be welcome in any residence I ever dwell. He listens. He whispers. He gets me, and I get him.
Jack Daniel's. Old No. 7. Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey. Distilled & Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery. Lynchburg, Tenn USA.
I mix that with a little Coca Cola... And life is suddenly brought sharper into focus. I mix more than a few of those and life is suddenly a bit more fuzzy and less "sucky". Thanks, Elroy!
My friend and I would walk into the Chili's in Waxahachie on a Friday night, and the bartender would, without fail, go get another bottle of Jack from the back. She knew she would need it.
During X3, I did not drink that much... What was the point? Nothing could have helped that mess.
After... Operation: "Resume Life Enjoyment" was a go. There was a new understanding and appreciation this time though. A more sophisticated approach. I did not drink to get drunk and wild. I drank because I enjoyed the flavor. I drank because I wanted to reward my not losing my shit on the copious amount of people who deserved it. I drank to mellow out.
Discovered mead at the Ren Faire... read about that here! My love of that nectar is well documented...
These days... It ebbs and flows. For a stretch, it will only be on weekends... If I know I will be attending a 4 day event, where drinking is rampant, I will increase my consumption to build my tolerance for the event."Getting into drinkin' shape!" After an event, there will come a weening off period.
As long as I stick to my rules... I am okay.
1) Don't be a dick. Don't let my "good time" impede someone else's "good time".
2) After 7 PM. I will not drink until after 1900 hours. Day drinking may commence once or twice a month. Only on Saturdays. Such as a nice Saturday, when writing a blog about booze. (It's today!!! Cheers!)
2.5) "A man's got to know his limitations." - Dirty Harry. Don't get sick. So stupid.
3) May drink one day during the week. The rest of the imbibing is done on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
4) Always mixed. Never just straight Jack. If I have no cokes... I don't drink. I may not have food in the fridge... but there will be cokes.
5) Know why I'm drinking. Could be anything. Reward. Weekend. Don't drink just to drink. Have a reason.
Now... As I stated earlier... People get concerned with booze. A friend was worried about another mutual friend's consumption. She asked me to confront our mutual friend about it.
"Um... He is a grown ass man. So... No?"
I was not mad at her, because I knew she was coming from a place of love. Still... No.
People really like to enforce their shortcomings on you. "I get stupid when I drink, and since I am the epicenter of the entire fucking universe, YOU must get stupid when YOU drink."
No, Judgy McJudgeNuts., I don't get stupid. I get funnier, charming as ALL HELL, dance better, 10 ft. tall and bulletproof.
_____________________________________________
I make a string of posts... all about Jack Therapy... and I get more private messages from people who have not uttered a word to me in years...
Again, knowing that they are coming from a place of caring - I bit no heads off. "Thanks for the concern and all that". Grown ass man. Proceeding with enthusiasm... And Jack.
I don't need it. I want it I earned it... and it is because <insert reason here>
Helps the writing process... yeah... that's it...
You can not kill what you did not create,
d
The blog brought to you by Belly, Peeping Tom & Kid Koala, ZZ Top, Metallica, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Alice In Chains, Seaweed, Slipknot*, Asia, Goo Goo Dolls, and Nirvana.
*** - Alcoholism is not a joke. I am not making light of people with that awful disease. IF I were to ever feel like I was losing control, I would seek help. It is covered on my insur... Oh, wait... It's now a pre-existing condition... We are fucked. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
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