This Wednesday morning, I endured my third worst driving experience. It was the shortest of the top three, but no less taxing.
This last week, Monday through Thursday, I had to attend training. I will not get into specific locations (see reference below), but it amounted to my normal 1.5 mile, on suburban streets, commute being extended into a 39.4 mile, multiple interstate, 6 lane superhighway commute.
I have lived/driven in the DFW metroplex going on 20 years now. 20 years this September, come to think of it. I have faced the unrelenting hell of a daily commute into downtown Dallas from Arlington... WITH my second wife in the SAME car with me... GOOD TIMES!
For the last 4 years, I have been incredibly spoiled with my commute of about 8000 feet. So, I was not looking forward to the inevitable suck that was forthcoming.
When I get in the shower, I turn on the radio. I can time my routine pretty closely by knowing what the DJs are doing. "Okay, I should be getting out of the shower and drying off when they come back from this commercial break."
For the first time in almost a decade, I had to remember to listen to the traffic report.
The training started at 8:30 AM. I left my home at 7:00 AM. To go less than forty miles, I allotted ninety minutes. I knew that about seven of those miles would be side streets... stop lights... school buses...
I get to the highway, and... I am booking... I arrive at the building in DeSoto at 7:45. The initial thought of... "I am the world's greatest driver" did, in fact, pass through the head more than once.
The trip home... Bah-reeeeeez. The fears and hesitations vanquished.
Tuesday morning, I leave my house at ten after seven.... I arrive to the class with about 2 minutes to spare. Wreck on the highway... I am not a fan of a single digit miles per hour. I could feel my brain dusting off the tome of vulgarities reserved for being stuck in traffic..
"Oh, you want over now, you cock smoking, monkey fucking, shit heel?"
"Go suck a dead dog's ass, ya Beamer drivin' Beeeeyotch"
"I swear to all that is fucking holy AND fucking unholy, there better be a severed head up there."
Just truly vile shit.
Tuesday's trip home... Bah-reeeeeez.
Then came Wednesday morning.
There were storms moving through. I listened to the traffic report before I left, warnings to watch yourself, but no accidents mentioned for the roads I would be travelling. The DJs mentioned a lull (I have discovered I think this word sucks. "Lull".) between storm fronts... Well, I better get on the road...
I leave about 7:05. The side streets to the highways were not ideal, but no one was being too much of an asshat. I almost get to the highway, I am five cars from the light... I see the other street of the intersection's cars going... and going... and going... "Why in the name of St. Fuckery are we not moving?!?!?!?!?"..... Ah... Train... Damn train... Damn, dirty, rotten, stinking train.
When I FINALLY get to the highway, I am pleasantly surprised by the cadence and just flat out "respect" the motorists are giving each other... Decent spacing... People actually using turn signals for lane changes... Craziness! My guts, thus far clenched in worry began to ease up... I was coming up on the I 20, 635 merge south of Mesquite.
And then...
Within thirty seconds, it got dark. Not "morning" dark. Not "night" dark... No, no... "End of the world, all happiness is gone" dark.
And then...
The skies opened up like a woman if you play Otis Redding's "These Arms Of Mine" at the right time.
I have driven in some rain storms, really torrential ones... but nothing like this. My windshield wipers were glorified, synced metronomes. Good for nothing but keeping a beat. I could not see anything worth classifying out the back window.
I had moved over to the far left lane... ONLY because I could make out the yellow line of the shoulder. So... focus on the yellow... back to the road... no brake lights... back to yellow...
Whilst literally craning my neck forward trying to make out "Shapes"... Lightning flashes about 50 yards off the highway... So, it's dark and now my vision is fucked... like our nation's credibility with other nations level of fucked...
So... Back to the yellow... Is that semi? Nah... Okay that is a fucking semi... back to yellow...no brake lights... *tink*... back to yellow.... *Tink*... ?.... Yellow...
And then...
Hail. Dime sized mostly, some quarter sized. I have a low slung car. It is not "cavernous". When it hails in some cars... You hear it, and you wince but there is a "separation"... In my car, it was like I was wearing a football helmet, running around and getting hailed on (Sadly, I have done this... so I know of what I speak and have an actual basis of comparison.).
This shit show lasted about 10 minutes... To me... It probably actually lasted closer to 3 or 4.
Apparently, the train delay allowed the next line of storms just enough time to catch up with my route.
There were a couple cars that had spun off into the grass, then one full on wreck in the left lane for the rest of my journey. Mother Nature eased up from her bitch-fit and I took the time to peel my fingers out of their death grip on my steering wheel...
I made it to the campus with EIGHT minutes to spare, and no rain falling. The day had resumed just being overcast-cloudy vs. "Apocalypse Like" cloudy.
At least the class had donuts.
_____________________________
The boss texted... Asked if I made it... My reply was calm and measured. It was also the third revision that ended up being sent. I figured it was not her fault, so, she did not deserve the tirade and artillery barrage of f-bombs.
No damage that can be seen to the car... Thankful as all hell on that note.
I am kind of glad this happened. I had come to take my commute for granted. I have gained a new appreciation for my happy little jaunt.
Friday morning's commute to work was 4 minutes, 25 seconds. Stupid goddamn school zonNo!!! Stop it... Just stop...
Faster than the speed of life,
d
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On a positive note, your commute has had an efficacious effect on your writing.
ReplyDeleteI actually laughed out loud and had a clear image of your ferment.