Sunday, January 24, 2016

The Highest Card

So far, this year has been... well... A steaming pile of shit.

First of all, Rickman and Bowie. I left out Lemmy, as he kicked it in 2015... But still... If this is the way 2016 is going to go, it will be a rough year. I am more and more pleased with my decision to buy insurance on my Black Sabbath tickets for the September show. HOLD ON, OZZY!!!!

Secondly, I had a wonderful head cold. I was coughing up stuff with enough substance to give it a name... "And I shall call you 'Lumpy'!" I am finally feeling like my old self again. It was during my "not-going-to-the-gym" and "not-doing-a-damn-thing" that I discovered an old show to binge on. "The West Wing". Solid writing, good cast, fun show. Got me to thinking...

I don't know if you have heard, but there is a presidential election this year. I know... Snuck right up on ya, didn't it?

We had a Mega Jackpot Lott pool at work, and after seeing the "hookers and cocaine" lottery guy, it made me envision holding the big check, with all the zeros, and being asked the question... "What do you plan to do with all that money???"

"Buy political influence. I hear it is a buyers market this year!"

In this election cycle that has gone on forever already... We have 283 days to go. For Xmas this year, I am giving everyone a break from campaign commercials.

The candidates are not set in stone as of yet. There have been umpteen million contenders, but there are four main would be kings. (I do fully realize that with this many players on the board, this early in the game, the finicky nature of the American voter... all is subject to change... )

Dishonorable mentions:

Chris Chirstie - Would be in it, but will be forever stuck on the bridge he had shut down.

Martin O'Malley - Who?

Ben Carson - The "WTF" factor on this guy just kept getting larger and larger and larger.

Marco Rubio - Makes me want to play a game involving a pool. A news article compared him to a computer... Basically, lacking a soul.

Jeb! Bush - There are times that I know that my words will truly never be able to convey the feelings and message as well as someone else could... This is why there is youtube. Here is how I feel about another Bush in the White House...




Hillary "Remember the 90's???" Clinton

The name recognition. The lengthy resume. The legacy... All of that means squat if people can't trust you. The Benghazi Hearings were political theater, designed by the GOP to knock her down in the poles. Mission Accomplished. They bragged about it.

All they have proved is that she did not do anything wrong. Dragged her name through the mud nonetheless. The one shining light from all that nonsense... When the accusers started screaming that "She was in charge, it happened on her watch, she is to blame.", and someone said... "So... by that logic... 9/11..." They shut the fuck up pretty damn quickly...

Ted "The Canadian" Cruz

He's fucking Canadian! How is this even a thing? In all reality, he is hated by his own party as much as he is hated by the Democrats. John McCain called him a "wacko bird"... I don't know if in "old bitter bastard" speak that is really, really bad... But it sounds like it...

The hatred of Ted Cruz is not a recent phenomena either... He has been disliked for decades... His college roommate has been pretty vocal in his disdain. This was in COLLEGE... When all you had to do to be accepted was NOT be a dick... He couldn't manage to do in four years... Do you know how long a presidential term is???

Bernie Sanders

I know who I'm voting for.

So far in this election, there are two candidates not fellating billionaires and multi-millionaires. One is Bernie Sanders... The other...

Donald Trump

NOTE: I fear writing this because all the good jokes have been written... Will do my best not to plagiarize... And if I do... it is either subconscious, or too damn good to pass up...

The only reason Trump is not cozy-ing up to billionaires? BECAUSE HE IS ONE!

Funny thing about his "humble" beginnings... He started out with a meager, $1,000,000 gift from his Dad, an even bigger racist... Now, the Donald loves to tout his "business acumen"... He says he is worth about 7 billion... According to some, he would be worth more if he simply invested it and done NOTHING.

While Trump himself has never filed for bankruptcy, FOUR of HIS companies have...

If you look at all his speeches, all his campaign stops, all his television appearances... HE HAS SAID NOTHING! Apologies... Just wanted to draw some attention to the previous sentence. Not a thing... He is a sound bite candidate. There is NO strategy! There is NO plan! There is no SUBSTANCE!

A candidate has to stand for something. I may hate the Republican party, or the sick twisted version it has become, but, dammit... A tried and true Republican stands for limited government with fiscal responsibility... unless it is a social issue, then they must legislate the fuck out of it... Government that hurts Big Money = Bad... Government that legislates THEIR morality = Good.

Donald Trump is beholden to no one but himself. The first question in the first debate... "Would any candidate run as an independent if they did not receive the Republican nomination?" Three guesses who raised their hand...

This week he was endorsed by Sarah Palin. She had to take time out of her busy schedule of bailing out her abusive son, taking care of her two bastard grandchildren... or is it three? I know her "Values" preaching daughter has two out of wedlock... She also has that one... Trig... Which is also the name of the class that no one in the Palin household could pass.

Trump supporters have a common trait it seems... They like to be told what is going to happen. They like to led to believe that they will be safe. They are basically subs... Not like a substitute teacher... No, like a submissive (The guy with a leather mask getting whipped by a dominatrix.)

My friend at work likes to quip that "Trump is just saying what everyone is thinking"... I politely correct him.

"He is saying what everyone is feeling. There is not a lot of 'thinking' going on."
_________________________________

In the past two elections, I did end up donating to a candidate... And they won... Both times.

My biggest regret is that they got my email address. I have gotten 16 emails already today from Hillary and the DNC... This is only going to get worse. Fucking politics.

Regardless of who you are voting for, please vote.

I will be doing my best to not go off on this stuff too much for the remainder of the election cycle...

I'm Douglas Denniston, and I approve this message,

d

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Sunday, January 10, 2016

DRAW!

It is a new year. 2016. An election year. Year of an Olympics I believe... I dunno... Don't rightly care about it enough to Google.

Every new year brings a sense of rebirth and a clean slate. Maybe we, as a species can be better. Maybe we can value life above material greed. Maybe we can see that we are all connected and that violence against another, is really violence against yourself.

And then you hear about "Open Carry" being legal in your home state.

In Texas, as of January 1, 2016, a person who has the prior "Concealed Carry Permit" can legally carry their firearm in open view. I have been racking my brain as to the "need" for said legislation. I don't recall there being hundreds of people chanting for the right to open carry. I don't recall any petitions. I heard no outcry from any victims of gun violence pleading for more guns and visible ones, at that.

I did hear and see the online outcry and outrage after the FAIRLY elected President decided that enough was fucking enough. Through "Executive Action" he will institute common sense steps.

Will it stop all mass shootings? No. Will it stop one? Maybe. All I know is that what is in place now AIN'T FUCKING WORKING!

By making you pass a background check for a weapon, how is your 2nd Amendment right infringed, Mr. or Mrs. Well Regulated Militia Member?

Second question... Is there someone, identified as an agent from the United States government, knocking on your door RIGHT FUCKING NOW asking for your guns? Rhetorical question because I already know the damn answer, and it is "NO". So, when you say "Obama is taking our guns.", you are either a liar or seeing and hearing things. If you are not a liar, maybe someone SHOULD relieve you of your weapons due to you being an insane moron.

I also saw this morning a post that bemoaned that  "Obama wants to usurp 'Doctor/Patient' confidentiality by allowing Dr's to inform police on gun owners."

Um... Where the fuck to begin... 1) If memory serves, a doctor has a responsibility to report if a patient is threatening or planning on doing harm to themselves or others. There are caveats to the Doctor/Patient confidentiality.

2) How would "allowing", not "mandating", doctors to warn the cops of a possibly horrendous situation be a bad thing?

"Hey, I got a patient here... He has 20 AR-15's, 30,000 rounds of ammo, and says that children are actually 'Satan's whores' and they need to be 'cleansed' and he lives next to an elementary school... What was that? Oh... Yes, he has an extremely small penis."

3) Shrinks aside... How would guns even come up with your general practitioner?

"Yeah, Doc... My shoulder has been acting up. It could be the 18 hours a day I spend at the gun range practicing for when the race wars is started when Jesus comes down and reveals himself to the world in the form of a talking General Lee from the 'Dukes of Hazzard'... Why yes, it will sound like Waylon Jennings! Um... Why are you measuring my penis?"

Outcomes

There will be more deaths. Innocent lives lost. Then there will be the Darwinism In Effect lives lost.

And, to go off for a bit... "Good Guy With A Gun"... Well, I won't go off, I will let you watch it perfectly summarized... Best 10:37 I have ever seen on the subject of "Good Guy With A Gun".


This being Texas, and having lived here for the majority of my life (Yes, I vomited inside my mouth a little when I typed that), I can honestly say that some of the worst drivers and traffic can be found in this state.

I have made the trip from Dallas to Austin in 4.5 hours. The last EIGHT FUCKING MILES took 1.5 hours. I am seriously thankful that I was NOT armed.

This leads to the aforementioned Darwinism In Effect lives. Fender benders between vehicle operators who both happened to be armed will not end in the exchange of insurance information, but rather an exchange of bullets. "DRAW!".... Hey... That would make a catchy blog title... On it!

We have too many assclowns who want to be "The Hero"... Played "Call of Duty III" on "Expert Level"... So... They know what they would do! Some of them WANT there to be a situation... These people are the ones who scare me the most. We will just call them "Zimmermans"

Who is in the right if two people licensed to open carry don't like the looks of each other... And they decide that the other one is not supposed to have that weapon... Can two people "Stand Their Ground" and shoot each other? HERE'S HOPING!

What happens when Muslims get the proper paperwork and start open carrying? How wonderful will all the gun toting assholes find it then?

The Cops

Yesterday was "Law Officer Appreciation Day". No thanks... I don't trust cops at all. Last thing I want to do is try to run up and hug one... Well, my being white, I could maybe get away with it... If I weren't, the best case scenario is a nice tazing.

With the open carry coming into effect... And an already pussified cadre of officers... I can see NO good coming of this.

I call them "pussified" because apparently it is open season and a fucking free for all for cops if they "feel in danger of their lives". Well, excuse me all to hell, THAT IS PART OF THE DAMN JOB. If you want to be honored, and revered for your job then stop being a pussy... What bullshit excuse do you get to use when a 13 year old girl won't leave a classroom?


Yeah... This asshole deserves to be appreciated.

Regardless of your stance on cops, you would have to classify them as "on edge", given the current climate. Cops have a tendency to shoot UNARMED peeps these days... The last thing I would want to do is to give them any MORE reason to shoot me.

And Gawd forbid they try a fucking non lethal option... They are aware those exist, right?

The Signs

Businesses wishing to maintain a semblance of sanity, by denying Rambo-Wanna-Be's admittance, must have this sign at all entry points:


There are about 4 or 5 rules... Letter height, contrasting colors... But it makes me feel good to know that sign making companies were getting massive orders for these signs.

I personally would leave a place of business if I saw a person open carrying. If I were grocery shopping, I would leave my cart and exit. If I were eating a meal, I would get up from the table and leave - finishing my Jack N Coke first... I am not wasteful...

I would stop by the manager's office and tell them that I do not feel safe because there is a person with a gun and no badge in their store.

A friend of mine thought it would be very silly for a business owner to place this sign in his establishment. Thinking that it would be an invitation for criminals. My thought was this... It never says that the owner of said business can't be packing...
_____________________________________

I guess it is easily summed up... No one is coming for your guns. There is no infringing going on. We just have a president who is sick and fucking tired of having to console families.

We have a system in place that has failed. "You can't stop the criminals from getting guns." True... So we should just not do anything... That got a lot of Americans killed last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. Let's not take into account that crimes rates across the board have been dropping in recent years. No... That would be damning to the "Protection" and "Self Defense" aspects of firearms.

I know a lot of people have guns for that aspect alone. I can understand it. I will NEVER understand the arsenal mentality. I will NEVER understand the adoration for and glorification of them. Until we can cure that... We will always have a gun problem in this country.

I do find solace in the fact that it will no longer take a large truck to know who is compensating in the Lone Star State.

Instant karma's gonna get you,

d


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