The title of this blog is in direct response to the query posited by the song from the 1980 album, "Christmas in the Stars", "What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (Who Already Owns a Comb)". Of course, a true Alpha Geek, like myself would know the answer to be "Nothing, Wookies celebrate Life Day. It is a call to return to Kashyyyk every three years for all Wookies"... But I digress.
In 5 days, I will embark on a quest, a sojourn of the soul, to see a piece of cinema called "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" with my father. He took me to see the first one back in 78... Well, it was at a drive in, and it was a "pay one price for a car load" deal, so... It was me, and 21 cousins... Remember clowns cars, where clowns keep plopping out? Yeah... something like that.
My history with the Wars starts then. I remember seeing the movie and then seeing plastic representations of the characters in the toy aisle... I did not want them... No... I NEEDED THEM... That one vehicle that was in two frames in Mos Eisley? My life was incomplete until I possessed it.
Did my pillowcase need to have X-Wings on it??? No... But somehow I slept better knowing I had full air support.
The family moved in 1979 from Michigan to Texas. It was a big deal. I was stupid young and everything was new. The first friends I made, guess what we bonded over? You damn right, "Star Wars". Many an afternoon, many a recess, was spent playing Star Wars. Not a video game, no... Actually running around with motorcycle helmets and blankets as capes...
 |
| "I am the coolest mother fucker... EVER" |
See? (Yes... That is me... 1981... Don't judge!)
When I was old enough to know what money was, but before I knew I did not like sharing my money... I found ten bucks. Mom said "Would you like to go see a movie?"
"Fuck yeah, Mom", replied the 7 year old me! It was probably more along the lines of "Golly gee, that would be swell." It is difficult for me to remember a time when "fuck" was not part of my vocabulary... I refer to that time as "The Something Was Missing Era", and Mom refers to it as "Ages 5-8".
So, the family got in the car, stood IN LINE, to see a film called "The Empire Strikes Back". I believe it was the first time I was introduced to the concept of a "sequel"... This was before aintitcool.com and a dozen other internet sites devoted themselves to giving you every detail about a movie, before it comes out.
Little did I know that my 10 bucks paid for my family (ALL 5 OF US!!!), to see said movie. I learned an important lesson... Money found is to be pocketed.
I remember biking up to Redbird Mall in Duncanville to catch "Return of The Jedi". The place was packed... Everyone was digging it... Han Solo is getting thawed from the carbonite annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... The film melts.
My first thought was, "Special effects have improved a lot!"
My second thought was, "Fuckity fuck fuck...There is going to be a fucking riot any fucking second and I am going to fucking die." (I had discovered "fuck" by then and was getting every bit of mileage out of it. Making up for lost time!)
Flash forward a couple of decades... 1999. I was married to X2, out of the USAF, and in my career of Web Development. Through the miracle of the interwebs, I knew what was coming down the pike.
I went and saw "The Waterboy", IN THE THEATERS, JUST to see the trailer for "Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I remember the gents at work the next day, asking about it... and me stammering... "a dude... all devil looking had a FUCKING DOUBLE BLADED LIGHTSABER!!!"
I don't remember a lot of hoopla around "Attack of The Clones"... more of a, "Well... I might as well..." type of operation.
Now, "Episode III", I had heard it was going to get dark... I do remember the entire SkillsNET team running out and seeing it together...
Needless to say... I am looking forward to Friday, December 18th, 2015. In a big way. It has been 32 some odd years since I have seen the Millennium Falcon fly... And yes, in the first trailer for Episode VII, when it does show up... I teared up. And I fully represented my greek cred by noticing the new, more square radar array on top... Because as EVERYONE knows, the original radar array was lost when Lando Calrissian was piloting the Falcon into the bowels of second Death Star, NOT to be confused with the first Death Star, destroyed at the Battle of Yavin... Sorry... I get excitable.
___________________________
Recognizing The Bad Guy: When Darth Vader showed up on the Blockade Runner at 4 minutes and 34 seconds of Epidode IV, there was ZERO FUCKING DOUBT in my 5 year old brain, "That there is the villian."
Love: At some point in your life, you have to respond to someone saying "I love you" with, "I know." And do NOT kiss your brother, even if it is to make a scruffy looking nerf herder jealous.
Dying: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you could possibly imagine"
Slave outfits, in the Golden Bikini Arena: Hells. Yes. (And a special shout out to Athena!)
I have often compared my Mom to Yoda. She was a big fan of the little green dude. She would quote him to me in order to make me understand... And it would usually work. And while I appreciated seeing him be a badass in the prequels... Frank Oz gave him SOUL... He was more alive (and a better actor) than 90% of the real people in the prequels...
May the force be with you,
d
This blog brought to you by The Cult, The Beatles, P.O.D., Beck, Stone Temple Pilots, Loverboy, Aerosmith, Marilyn Manson, America, Anthrax, A Perfect Circle, Grunttruck, Vanilla Fudge, Judas Priest, Foo Fighters, and John Williams doing the "Imperial March", BOOYA!
No comments:
Post a Comment