And then... it hits you... "Oh, yeah... We told England to piss off... HO. LEE. SHIT!"
July 5th, 1776 must have been something like that for a great many of the founding fathers.
The giant, hairy balls it took to commit this glorious act of treason... I can not fathom. I am having trouble deciding if I want to zoom down to Sprinkles for a couple Oatmeal Cornflake Cookies... So mega dee-lish! I would puree them and use them to shoot up, like a heroin addled junkie, if I could... Seriously, about damn time someone other than me took a stand and made a damn oatmeal cookie WITHOUT raisins.
But I digress...
These guys, normal joes, decided... Wait... I know of another great American who can verbalize the birth our nation in a most succinct and awesome manner...
"What Jefferson was sayin' was "HEY! ya know, we left this England place cuz it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves.... PRONTO... We'll just be bogus too.' Eh?"
Spiccoli was very much on target with his summation. The crusty white guys got together and pounded out said "Cool Rules". They made a "Government"... Without GOOGLE!
In my ever so humble opinion, the greatest gift those cats provided was the means to CHANGE said rules. They knew some stuff was bound to change.
Whenever I hear the disenfranchised and downtrodden screaming " We Want Our Country Back!", a couple of things become painfully obvious... 1) The rest of "your" country moved forward. "Back" is not a fucking option. 2) The shouters usually are people who are threatened by something that is not like them... Meaning "White", "Christian", and/or "Conservative".
Pundits of the Propaganda Arm of the GOP, aka "Fox 'News'", love to bring out the founding fathers and posit, "What would these GODS AMONGST MEN think of Washington today????" Thinking that these patriots would definitely be on the side of Unchecked Capitalism benefiting a handful of people. Segregation. A Militarized Police Force. War Mongering.
Think again, cupcake.
They would look at the level of poverty, lack of education, the denial of science and reason, the treatment of Veterans... They would fucking weep.
THEN... They would go straight up Revolution.
I am pretty sure Hancock, Adams, Jefferson, Paine, Washington, Franklin, and the rest would go all "Project Mayhem" on Chase, CitiBank, Bank of America, and anyone else "Too Big To Fail". They would be corporate saboteurs of the highest order... They would join up with Anonymous... 'Cept Hancock... He wanted his name out there...
They would bitch slap all these professional politicians.
They would hang Sean Hannity for treason.
They would legalize weed.
They would fucking govern.
Okay, the last one was my own personal wish.
I think John Adams would decree the whole body politic as too far gone and needing of the Old Yeller treatment.
Jefferson would be wondering where his slaves were at... Getting laid would help take that edge off...
In this day and age, I truly wish there was a "Blade Runner" type test you could hook up to each and every sitting politician and discover who they answer to... Their constituency or to the corporate overlords they were bought by. Retire the Replicants, yo.
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Aloha, Mr. Hand,
d
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