Cleanse

Last night, the Lady, who I am enjoying the company of immensely, received a text from her "best friend since the age of three". The gist of it was "Hey, can you pick up my kid?"

Without getting into the details... It was an imposition. It was the crossing of a line.

I don't give one rat's ass if you want to live your life in a very fucked up manner. I really don't. I actually enjoy watching people fuck themselves up. It is a nice reminder that while I may not be perfect, I have done quite all right and made some good decisions along the way.

Also, I was very blessed to have a sane, pleasant childhood, supported by loving and caring parents. They provided an excellent archetype of how to navigate and thrive in this world. I still screwed up, and did crazy shit... BUT Mom and Dad were always there to tell me what an idiotic move it was... "Would you jump off a bridge if all your friends did???"

"Well... Not again..."

Did I have some people in my life that were less than stellar in character? Sure... Did I limit my interaction with them and shelter other, more righteous aspects of my life from those people? Of course I did. If I felt myself becoming more like those unsavory characters, did I excise them from my life? You betcha!

It was more difficult if they were female... Even more difficult if they had a nice ass...

My Father told me two things early on, when my social circle was "expanding", 1) "Know who your friends are," and 2) "If you look the man in the mirror in the eye and don't like what you see, you are doing it wrong."

"Doing what wrong?"

"Life."

He did not mean looking in the mirror to check your make up or your hair... 

The most important thing in being able to recognize the toxic people in your life is to first and foremost know your self. You have to know true north on your moral compass in order to know when your ass is off course.

A close second to knowing yourself is knowing your self worth. Knowing what you will and will not do. Compromise is an unavoidable facet of any relationship. That being said, a true and good friend would never ask you to compromise your morals.

Without those two things firmly established... You are susceptible to toxic people. There is a difference between people who are simply self centered and selfish, and the truly toxic. A selfish person is capable of being called out on their selfishness, and acknowledging the fact they were being a prick. The biggest repository of selfish people usually come with the label of "teen".

Everyone on the planet is, at one time or another, guilty of being selfish... It is a human trait and to a certain degree healthy... Hell.. it is a necessity... Again, TO A DEGREE...  Even Superman had the Fortress of Solitude. He needed his space... His "me time"...

If you were to call a truly toxic person "selfish", it would the same as calling a brick wall "selfish". There is ONLY their "self". Everyone else is here FOR them. They have no comprehension that their could possibly be repercussions for their actions. 

They fly by "egocentric" at Mach 8.

If you try to point out their shortcomings, or faults in any way, no matter how constructively done or delicately stated, it is seen as an attack. Every thing they say or do is more important than anything you could possibly offer. They will ask your opinion on a subject, only looking for validation for their point of view.

(NOTE: Wow... I tried avoiding talking about the TV Show Host elect... I swear...) 

If you have identified a toxic person in your life... How do you eliminate the toxicity?

The best way... Be happy that you are not them. Hell, just be happy and make sure that that happiness does not have one fucking thing to do with them. Be sure to let them know it too...

If you are doing better than they are... They will leave you alone and look for someone else to poison. Viruses are like that... Opportunistic.  

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At the end of the day, as I stated earlier... If someone wants to live their life in a toxic manner... That is fine... 

However. Comma.

When your fucked up manner of living starts interfering with MY life... MY plans... And is upsetting the Lady who I deem special to me, and with whom I am enjoying time with...  You have moved out of the "toxic person" arena into "fucking cunt" domain.  

Sadly, if you have a friend, who is beset by a toxic person and can't seem to shake them... You can't "make" them ditch the two legged venom sack... It is not your place. 

All you can do is make sure that, when asked, you give your full and honest opinion of that walking piece of shit. For the record, if you are subjugated to story after story of how much of how toxic they are... That counts as a "cry for help" and an "asking of your opinion"...

Give 'em both barrels. If all else fails... write a blog.

My friends all drive Porsches, 

d

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