First, I want to apologize for missing last week. I had visitors. The folks came down to bestow gifts upon me. Everyone made out like bandits. All is good. Legos are smack to those who are creative, yet like planned out details... You know, SOCIOPATHS!!!! (High functioning, but still...)
One other quick note... Sinatra Select Jack Daniels... That stuff is proof that A Deity Whom I Question the Existence Of loves us.
The names have been changed or omitted to protect the guilty... Remember kiddies... Guilt and innocence is a matter of timing...
The 2014 silly season is in it's death throes, but it is not without victims. I have a friend dealing with some major issues. The most vile demons come from within. I feel for them and seriously wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. I can only offer support and advice.
There is that fine line of being helpful vs. being controlling/intrusive. I guess the "friendship" is defined by the repercussions of crossing said fine line.
This Xmas eve, I was visited and asked by another friend, "How are you doing?" Very loaded question. Do they expect/want the standard "Doing all right.", "Proceeding with enthusiasm", "Can't complain." or do they want the truth?
I discussed the year in general. Focusing on certain aspects... Most of which, you, loyal reader, are aware of. Last year at this time, I was in love with and had won the love of a good woman. Starting on that high of a note, like when that first apex of a roller coaster is crested, there is only one way to go.
Yes, March was a no fun zone... I did what you are supposed to do... Get back up, rub some dirt on it, and get back in the game. However, I had a new perspective. I was given the vision of how one is supposed to be alone. You take that time to improve YOU.
We discussed work. Which is picking up steam. I am not worried about vacation time, as I will more than likely be earning comp time due to the onslaught of shit coming down the slope. We talked plans for the upcoming year... Scarby in April... Possible Sherwood excursion in February.
We also solved the world's problems... Israel and Palestine? Double Elimination Round Robin Softball Tournament. Want control of the Gaza strip? Better work on your pitching. NEXT!
At the end of the conversation, over one or six drinks, they remarked, "You... You are doing all right." They meant it literally. In their opinion, which I respect, I am making the correct decisions. Not doing wrong.
This year of our Jack Lord, 2015, could see the realization of many plans I have laid. There is always the fear that plans will get sidetracked or flat out demolished.
By the end of this year, I fully plan on being:
Credit Card debt free. 'Bout damn time.
Forced to "Use or Lose" vacation time. SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Full on Pimp. Never stopped this... Comes naturally.
Owner of a less fat damn dog! She is doing all right, thanks for asking.
Better shape myself. Drink it in... Drink it in...
Able to play "Smoke on The Water" on guitar. RAWK!
in Kansas City at least once. Mom will like this.
in Augusta for the 25th reunion... If it is happening...
seen for being an amazing writer, paid to do so, and I go live in Colorado, enjoying "nature".
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In the mean time, the time that is cruel, I am alone. And for the first time I am really okay with it. I do not need someone. That being said, I would not mind having someone in my life to COMPLIMENT IT, NOT COMPLETE IT!
There is something to be said for having someone not care if they are intruding and send the "Good morning" text. That someone who wants the last thing I see before crashing is their "Good nite" text. A person who initiates conversations... Who asks me questions... If I continue having to initiate conversations, and draw out everything, I feel like I am a nuisance. No bueno.
I look forward to the day when I plug in my phone to charge at night and it is not at 88%.
Worship music,
d
This blog brought to you by The Rolling Stones (19th? That's it?), Jay - Nootch!, The Beta Band, Saliva, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, Dangerous Toys, The Seatbelts, Buffalo Springfield, Foo Fighters, Rob Zombie, Van Halen (5150!), Dr. Frankenfurter, Green Day, Jerry Cantrell, and Anthrax.
Sometimes topics for this thing come readily and easily... I have an idea, usually around Wednesday and it percolates and takes form. By Sunday evening, I have done my weekend chores and put in my required gym time and am ready to focus.
This week did NOT lend itself to plotting. I was in training all week. Not being trained myself, but rather to answer questions if they arose. About three or four such queries did happen. It was NOT week long training either... Rather three, day and a half iterations of the same training... By Wednesday, I understood, really understood, why animals will gnaw off a leg to escape a hunter's trap.
Throw on the fact my damn dog seeming to regress in health a bit... She is doing all right now, must have been the psychotic weather we are having as of late... Still, emotionally and mentally taxing...
Anyways, this morning, 5:45ish, as I lie in bed, an outline formulated... Not fully congealed, so apologies if it comes across as half-cocked... "Rambling" has been intimated to me on an occasion...
I am not a serial dater (I know "playa" is legit to use, but I don't "play", I "date"... would that make me a "data"?). If I see and like someone, I tend to focus solely on that person. Not obsess... but see where it goes...
I decided to avoid relationship discussions in this blog thingy. They last time I mentioned a person, wanting to see where it went, and the like... it ended. Abruptly. No animosity involved... People make choices. They have to live with them. Their loss. "Next".
It got me to thinking that maybe the blog was a curse... If mentioned in these diatribes of lunacy, does that count as an incantation for "relationship dissolution"?
The peril in writing about an infant relationship here is that they will know who I am talking about. There is little mystery, if any at all. The person I am writing about in this very blog is gonna know I am writing about her. With that in mind, and AGAIN, with zero animosity, I can talk about the latest dating failure... Well... dating "learning experience". As Joe Friday stated... "Just the facts, Ma'am."
I knew of this person about three years ago from a dating site. There was communication, desire to meet, but nothing manifested. We remained Facebook "friends" and Words With Friends adversaries... They got married so I gracefully faded into obscurity... Then I see them pop up on the same dating site... "What the hell ya doing back here?"
We begin talking, and we finally met. Pictures are neat and all, but this woman was hot. Surface of the sun hot. My alarm bells automatically were going off, "She is hot enough to make you compromise just about every stance you have."
"Why, YES, I am a Born Again Evangelical, Republican, Gun Loving, Movie hating, Vegan if it means I can see you naked."
There was chemistry. Undoubtedly. Was palpable.
I learned that she was coming out of a divorce. Two or three months FRESH out of said divorce. I learned that it was not the best of situations. My own experiences with divorce, I know that you can never say one size fits all. Every situation is unique.
By the end of the first week, a stray, flippant, "love you" would pop up in a text. A "we should get married" text was shocking, but laughed off. Noted... Filed away... Flagged.... but laughed off. Then the "I LOVE YOU"'s started showing with more frequency.
I never responded in kind. I would comeback with an "Awwww", or "I can't blame you." It made me think back to the last real relationship I was in. They were uncomprehending of how I "could be so sure." of my feelings for them... Now I knew how they felt...
We did discuss the reservations I had about the texts. I never minced words about my wondering about the validity of her claims of her affection towards me. I made it clear that while I knew she wanted to love me, and wanted to be loved in return, I simply did not know if she was not just rebounding.
These discussion took place in varying states of undress... Which did not help the situation. And yes, I just wanted to get that out there. Good times!!!
There were some other differences, nothing that could not be overcome or settled OVER TIME. I would have no problem being in an exclusive, monogamous relationship with her. To repeat... I am not a serial data. I was not actively searching other people while I was with her. I don't think that is fair to a relationship. A relationship in the early stages is very fragile... like a lamp from France.
Eventually, it was my lack of being able to reciprocate her level of devotion that led to the cessation of communication. I tried to let her know that someday, I might be able to... Just not two weeks into a thing. If a person is drowning, you have to be careful trying to save them... They might pull you under as well... She was the type to almost drown, get to the shore, say thanks, and dive right back in the dark, turbulent waters...
She was very "Hippie". In touch with nature, loves animals, and loves, Loves, LOVES, love. Offset by an almost crippling social shyness... It was a weird dichotomy. I sincerely was, and still am, in awe of, and worried over, her ability to love and not let cynicism override her heart.
Hippies, of course, are a fan of "Free Love". Which brings me to the damn point...
Your Love Should NOT Be Free, It Should Cost.
Prostitution? No... If you give your love to everyone, how will the special one in your life know they are the special one in your life? Your love, for that one special person, should have value. Merit. Mean.
_________________________________
While I know I have walls around my heart, and high though they may be... The climb is worth it. HOWEVER, COMMA... To all would be prospects.... Try knocking on the damn door. Save yourself a climb.
And really, that's what it's all about,
d
Yes, Mom... I made this blog "f*ck" free... Xmas came early!!!
This blog brought to you by The Beatles, The O' Jays, The Burden Brothers, The Marilyn Manson, The Tenacious D, covering THE Ronnie James Dio, The Doris Day, The Van Halen, The Andy Williams, The Kid Rock, The Ray Stevens, The Stevie Wonder, The Metallica, The Ledry Anderson, The Tesla, The David Bowie, The Temptations, The WAR, and THE George Harrison (How so very appropriate.)
The title song makes absolutely no mention of "Christmas" in it's lyrics.
Which makes it my new favorite Xmas tune!
That is right, ladies, gents, and others... It is the Xmas blog. Little early, but as with everything related to the silly season, I want to get it out of the way and done. This Tuesday, I should be able to complete my holiday shopping. Fin!!!
It is not that I hate "Christmas", I rather hate people at Christmas. They seem to care more. The most important word in the preceeding sentence was "seem". Hence the italics, yo. It is either a case of a person is trying to be nicer, which goes against their nature, so it seems forced and insincere -OR- You are expected to forgive assholes and bitches for being assholes and bitches, because "It's the season." To hell with that noise.
It is not the Atheism that makes me get exasperated with the whole shebang either. I do find the whole Christian aspect to the holiday to be the most laughable fable ever constructed. It has no basis in reality. Did not happen. Theological scholars will tell you that "Hey, Zeus" was born in July... Or September... Or any other month BESIDES December.
December just tested well in the focus groups...
Ghosts of Xmas Past
The decorations were out the day after Thanksgiving. So was the stack of Xmas LPs. The music would be on in the mornings as we woke up... Coming out to see the tree all lit up. The prismatic effects through sleepy, squinting eyes making me understand the appeal of LSD.
I remember the family gatherings in Michigan. The epic snowball fights... The hide and seek games with all the cousins, more than a couple of Uncles and Aunts participating too.
I got my first cassettes and CDs, both on Christmas. One of the cassettes was Slade's "Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply". The two CDs were Nirvana's "Nevermind" and Metallica's Black Album. Still have them as they are both staples in a person's musical edification. Well, they should be...
I remember getting "Die Hard" on VHS one merry morning. This marked the beginning of the video collection that I amassed. Quite substantial one, at that. It was when VHS titles became affordable to the masses. THIS is the first nail in the coffin to the video store. To this day, I will do my damnedest to watch "Die Hard" on Xmas... Traditions - It is the glue that we huff and keeps up together!
One of the first pornographic films I ever saw was "Merry XXXMas". Again, thank the VHS boom. I remember never being able to look at an elf and Mrs. Claus the same... "Ya like that, huh???" Ahh, memories. Having a great memory is not without peril.
There was 1993... I was in San Antonio, Texas. Lackland Air Force Base. The Drill Instructor was a swell guy. He would play Elvis' "I'll Be Home For Christmas". I can not make it through that song without tearing up. It slays me more than any other recording. Ever. I will listen to it once a year. Just to make sure I still have that pesky humanity.
Two years later, it got worse. Incirlik AFB, Turkey. Was asked for a divorce about a week earlier. Not a good time. At all. Thankfully, alcohol was very, very cheap.
X2 had some nice family gatherings... An Uncle In Law and I would speak in "Blazing Saddles" quotes. With X3, I was so depressed, it was difficult to see any point to the putting on of a show for all the people we never entertained... "Look, look... We have a tree and the appear happy!" Remember I mentioned the whole "forced and insincere"? Yeah...
Last year, I was told I was loved. In chocolate. "Better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all". Horseshit.
Brief Interlude...
I am having some fun with the tunes below (Have fun guessing)... But it reminded me that almost everyone has that one Christmas song they loathe and makes them want to punch babies...
X3 - Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time".
X3's Mom - "Feliz Navidad", by the Mexican dude...
Anyone with a brain - "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer"
For me... There is one recent tune, "Christmas Shoes". I would go off on it... However... Leave it to the professionals... Some language, brace yourself...
Bless you, Patton Oswalt. Bless you.
Ghost of Xmas Presents
As South Park rightly decreed, the true meaning of Christmas: Presents!!! This was after Jesus and Santa duked it out.
Consumerism at it's gluttonous best. I understand it, being a person who hates people and loves things... Though, the reports of Black Friday injuries make me think we are truly deserving of whatever fate is coming...
As far as gift giving, I rock. Not gonna mince words... I rock. I am pretty thankful this year was low in the tally of people to shop for.
Mom and Dad... About it. One other person, but we trade booze... So it is kinda moot. This year is shaping up to be the Sinatra Select Jack Daniels.
Trying out inviso-text.... Mom and Dad, do not mouse over if you don't want to see... I am just wondering if I can get it to work... It will RUIN XMAS IF YOU DO!!!!!
7 quart Crock Pot
Guardians of The Galaxy on Blu
Three 1000 piece puzzles
6 jars of jelly from HEB
$50 gift card to Half Price Books
That is so cool!
Ghost of Xmas Future
According to the reporters on Fox "News", there is a war... on Christmas.
Sorry, it is not that Christmas is under attack. It is that people are realizing, "Hey, I am realizing that not everyone believes as I do... WAIT... I AM NOT THE CENTER OF A WARM AND COZY UNIVERSE????" Then, like the scene in "Scanners"... Their head explodes. This is how the pagans will win the war!!!!!!
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When I get told "Merry Christmas", it does not offend me. If I feel that the person is saying it out of rote, it gets a "Right back at ya!". If I get the feeling there is an agenda behind it, as if they are goading me, it makes me think, "Oh you poor deluded sheep." It is usually returned with a warm, cheery smiled, "Praise Hell, Satan."
Now I have a machine gun, Ho Ho Ho,
d
This blog brought to you by Bing Crosby (being racist on Dec. 25th), Andy Williams (repetitive precipitation requests), Trans-Siberian Orchestra (Savatage without vocals), The Carpenters ("Karen, want a sammich? No? You sure? Ok, Darling".), Jimmy Boyd (Discovering that his mother is a cheating whore), Dion (Being polite in his request for someone to return), Beach Boys (Song about a man with a dildo shop), Johnny Mathis (Hanging with Alice, after Dec. 22nd), Cheech & Chong (Classic - They only did one, ya know), Brenda Lee (Imitating an autistic kid around the rotting Fir in the living room), Burl Ives (Mandating what kind of Christmas to have), Tony Orlando (Establishing a time and weather conditions of a sex crime - You will groan.), Donny Hathaway (Last Dec. 25th? Next Dec 25th? Oh...), Bryan Adams (Telling a deer with a nasal condition to imitate Forrest Gump), Spike Jones & His City Slickers (Dental emergency), Otis Reddnig (Song about a child born on Dec. 25th), Jimmy Durante (The Ice Golem, who endangered all the children... Seriously... That song is about lawlessness! Scope the lyrics...), Ray Conniff (288 hours... which is how long this song seems...), Earth Kitt (Seducing a guy who gets out once a year... and sounding like a materialistic whore...), Beach Boys (Warning about the myth approaching), David Bowie & Bing Crosby (Singing about something that will never happen), Nat King Cole (Frostbite injuries, Inuit clothing, Childhood insomnia, ages recommended: 1 to 92), Hall & Oates (Title), The Kinks (Harrowing assault and mugging recounted for the holidays!), Perry Como (All about appearances... OR... The Day After Halloween at WalMart!), Andy Williams (What if you had a great summer and bringing up "scary ghost stories"??? WTF???), and John & Yoko (I do want it, John).
More inviso-text for the answers... ya cheating bastards!!! (Click and drag the mouse over to reveal)
At this time of the year, one is oft supposed to remark on what they are thankful for. I have done a couple of blogs on this very thing. One more ain't gonna kill no one!!!
People
I do not like people. People usually like me. I don't make the rules on this sort of thing. I do have a special cadre of peeps in my life that make the whole "getting out of bed thingy" tolerable.
I work with some good people. Some salt of the Earth types. I have gone round and round with more than a few with my "Leftist" stances, on a myriad topics. At one old job, after I had left, an older gent had to have a quadruple bypass. I hope I had something to do with that. AND THAT WAS SOMEONE I WAS NOT ACTIVELY ROOTING AGAINST! Think about that!
I have a good boss with who I don't "Hate". She is a damn hard worker and sets an absolutely brutal standard/work ethic that I have no desire to attain. She will be the first to admit that her work/life balance is slightly skewed. So is mine... towards the opposite end of the spectrum.
The next strata of peeps are virtual. the Facebook people... All 40 some odd of you. I am not out trying to amass the numbers, who I have no clue who they are. I go through a culling about twice a year... No activity of merit in the past six months? Buh bye.
I have the sites I visit, with their chat rooms. I am known and welcomed, by name, in a couple. "High" or "HPB"... That's me. I love DJ'ing in the rooms. It is the mission to play the right song for the mood of the room, and keeping people talking. I have met a couple of these cats in the "Real". Good people.
The people I meet in the "Real" on a more consistent basis can be counted on one hand with fingers to spare. If you have seen me "live" in the past month, you know who you are. You are the creme de la creme.
Mom and Dad. I have written many a sentence about these two. My life has been immeasurably bettered by their example and through their love and guidance. Oh... infinite fucking patience on their end was pretty helpful.
Lily... The damn dog. She is doing fine, and keeps me sane. And on schedule.
Places
I am thankful for have a damn good memory. Really incredible one, considering the self induced chemical poisoning that was also known as "High School"... I am amazed at how clearly I channel places by smells or songs...
If I smell honeysuckle I am instantly transported to Goldman St., between Center and Freeman in Duncanville, TX... On my way to Central Elementary school, 1982-ish. There was a long row of honeysuckle along the sidewalk on the east side of the road...
The song "Ride On" by AC/DC will whisk me back to Hwy 77, heading out to the house after a night of "debauchery"... Jimmy Bryan introducing me to Bon Scott era AC/DC. Late April, or early May of 1987.
I can go to these places... And I am thankful.
I am thankful because I am not quite enthralled with the location at present. Texas is wearing thin on my soul. This is the longest continuous stretch of time I have spent anywhere. Ever. Wanderlust is kicking in. If I win a lottery of some sort, all you would see is a spinning computer chair. Contrails of paper in my wake.
Things
I am a materialistic type for the most part. I have a firm belief in things I can see, hold, touch. These items don't let you down. They are replaceable without consequence or emotional blackmail!These things fill a lot of the holes in my soul... Never quite to the brim. There is always something else I would not mind obtaining.
In no discernible order - New bike (more mountainous, 29er?, due to Garland's roads sucking major dick). A left handed six string (why not?). 3D Printer.... SEX BOTS FOR EVERYONE!!! Trip to Zealand. This ties into the "Places" blurb above. I WILL travel a fuck-ton more before I die. This I swear.
I am uber, uber thankful for my car. I love that little motor scooter! I have not even broken it in yet. In one year, I threw about 6200 miles on it. 900 of them were on a trip to Memphis.
One last thankful thing... This weekend, I have spent four days not doing ANYTHING (except for that one thing that starts with "M" and ends in "inecrafting"), I was privy to seeing something I have not witnessed in close to 25 years... I saw new footage of the Millennium Falcon flying. I whooped... I fist pumped... I shed a tear... I was 13 again... watching that gorgeous Corellian vessel bank and turn as I had never seen and it was GLORIOUS.
Jar Jar Abrams... THANK YOU for that taste/hint of things to come.
In the end, nouns fucking rock,
d
This blog brought to you by The Stooges, Led Zeppelin, Pantera, Tenacious D, Garbage. Stray Cats, AC/DC. Deftones, Bad Company, Fleetwood Mac.Foo Fighters, The Darkness, Eminem, and Steve Vai.
This weeks offering will be short and sweet... Because I was at the gym earlier and tweaked something in the right side of my back. Ow, Baby. Very ow. I was rushing. I was doing the standing calf press. Last exercise of the day. Hell, it was the second to last set of the outing.
The main reason I was rushing? Minecraft.
Earlier this week I installed the game, Far Cry 4. Far Cry 3 was the last game I played on a console. It was a great game. At the end, a chick goes all praying mantis on you. She literally kills you after you bow-chikka-wow-wow and impregnate her. Great game. Boobies and bullets.
Far Cry 4 is a beautiful game. The textures on EVERYTHING are insane. The fur on the animals is affected by the breeze. The shadowing is so bad ass I had to turn down my settings, as I was blinded by the sun sometimes. Absolutely brilliant game. I have played it for about an hour or so, total.
The day before installing that one, I installed Minecraft. I have spent about 10 or so hours playing that one. As a person with an addictive personality, you could double that to be safe. "No, I don't have a problem, fuck you for asking."
The graphics are reminiscent of a Super Nintendo game, circa 1993. So, why the appeal?
Some of you are already in the know, are aware of what the game is. You have seen the 8-bit swords and pick axes in the toy aisle. It is much, much more than that...
You create a world. Then your little avatar runs around in said world. Basic rules of gravity apply. You fall to far, you die. The world has land, sand, water, rocks, lava, trees, cows, pigs, horses, plants, etc. It's a world. Complete with shitty weather.
You start off with NADA. You want stuff? Beat the shit out of it by clicking on it with your left mouse. If you pound on a tree, it gives you "Wood". If you get enough wood you can construct other things. Combine different things together to make all sorts of stuff. I did a minor "cheat" and watched a YouTube video for noobs.
So I spent today building a two story house. Hardwood floors. Kitchen. Roof. Torches for lighting. On the second story I left the wall open to watch the sunrise over the sea. I also left a single walkway to the abode because there be bad guys.
Zombies, Creepers (that look like a dildo and explode when you smack them), Blobs, Skeletal dudes with bows and arrows... They mostly come out at night. Mostly.
Like the name implies, you go into the ground. You mine. You craft. It's what you do.
So, about 10 AM, I was looking around my little island paradise, and noticed that the trees were looking little ragged. So I decided to get all Bonzai on them... Then I am building earthen bridges between islands... And then I think the one tree is not like the other... So I fix that... Then it is 4:00 PM, the dog is looking at me like, "Hey, FuckMook! Kinda hungry over here... NO, the pancake you made for me this morning don't mean dick!"
So, I feed the dog, run to the gym... Rushing because I think I can fashion a bow if I do a couple of things... Not concentrating on the machine I am using and voila! Pain, made to order.
I am JUST realizing I forgot to eat lunch as well...
I have a feeling I know what I am gonna be doing this four day weekend...
Now, I have also realized a few things... The game is about creating. And destroying. As you gather wood, you are essentially deforesting the area. If you remove all the trees then grass grows and cows get to graze. I built a bridge to another island and upon awakening the next day, I found that the sheep from the other island made their way to mine. It is all about resources...
Yes, I killed the sheep to get the wool, and I also got the mutton, to cook. and consume... But if I kill ALL the sheep in one day... No more mutton... If I go on a kill crazy rampage on the chickens, I get meat... but there will be no more eggs...
You learn a little something something... Even if you didn't mean to,
d
This blog brought to you by Aleve + Jack N' Cokes, Wax, The Pretenders, Queen, Anthrax, Tesla, Silverchair, Metallica, Green Day, and the Beatles.
Have heard that for years now. I am not debating the factual accuracy of the statement. I happen to think it will eventually be Google that winds up with the whole enchilada, and that is pretty damn geek. There are some good and bad things about Geekdom. Let's explore, shall we?
And while I will be using the term "geek"... I am fully aware of all the terms one can use instead of "geek". If you feel that there is a better term, feel free to tattoo it on a rat's ass. You will have to find your own, because I could not give one.
First, we all have some geek in us. One can protest this fact until they are blue in the face, to no avail. Jock-Sporto types used to be the first to deny any trace of geek in themselves. Listen Chief, the first time you memorized the number of Joe Montana's Career Number of Fourth Quarter Comebacks... you entered the realm of geek.
Ladies... Being able to spot a designer's fashion on another female, and being bitchy enough to point out to your friends that it was "last years" in a whispered, catty tone... Geek-chique, baby.
My brother was "not into" comic books... He could say that because he did not spend HIS money on them... He waited until I spent MY damn dollars, or 65 cents at the time (they run about $2.99 and up now), then read them... There were one or two "violent disagreements" because I would have my stack and he wanted to read the ones I had not yet read... FUCK THAT, after I take their virginity, you can have my sloppy seconds, but til then you keep your fuckin' dick-beaters off of them... BLOG FLASHBACK!
Being a geek knows no bounds. No race, gender, sexual orientation, creed, color, or religion. The moment you start to obsess over something and want to know EVERYTHING about it. Every nugget of information is devoured like you are that fat kid at Willy Wonka's. You memorize stats, countless variables, historical anomalies, influences, which leads to even more geeking out. The most important caveat about these morsels... THEY MEAN FUCK ALL TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!
Genres
Genres are where the lines begin to form. I can identify myself as a comic geek, movie geek, Ren Faire geek, music geek, and computer geek...
Genres lead to conventions... or "Cons". This is when you abandon the private nature of your special obsession and seek out other to share the aforementioned non-essential details you have memorized. There will be more about community later... Oh, this is when shit gets expensive!
Here is where the trouble starts...
Sub Genres
Divisions in the community exist all over the place... I mentioned I am a movie geek... Movies are already divied up into genres. Comedy, Drama, Classics, etc.
We shall examine Sci -Fi genre. It gets into the biggest Sub Genre of all geek-dom. "Star Wars" vs. "Star Trek". Long has this battle waged... Each side has it's battle cries... "Has Lucas raped your childhood again???", "How does a franchise survive with only the even numbered movies being good?", "Jar Jar Fucking Binks!", "C'mon man, that's not fair..."
But... An Abrams will unite the clans... And we shall know of his coming by a lens flare!
See... THAT is a prime example of geek. J.J. Abrams directed the last two Star Trek films and is set to direct at least one of the next trilogy of Star Wars films. He is also known for have a damn lens flare as often as a human retina can withstand it.
YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT FOR IT TO BE FUNNY, AND THE PEEPS WHO GET IS LAUGH THEIR BALLS/TITS OR BOTH OFF!!!
Comic books are primarily divided into the Houses of Marvel and DC. Each has their stable of characters and each bring something to the table in either art or story. However, much like free agency in the sports realm, people are moving from one title to another all the damn time. Hard to build continuity.
Thankfully, I stopped buying comics a long time ago... NOTE: "buying" is a very important word.
Sub Sub Genres
Now, we are getting into the heavy duty of realms of geek. Lets take a look at the Movie Realm, Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Sub Genre: Fantasy. Sub Sub Genres: Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter.
While both the Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter are phenomenal successes and have legions of fans around the world, and a countless number of those fans loving BOTH of the franchises... South Park exploited the conflict... And I love those guys for that.
Geek Warfare
The main weapon in any geeks arsenal, like Batman, is money. Reeeeal close second is information.
In order to outgeek your adversary, you might have to dish out some cash in order to get that one limited edition card/game piece/downloadable gear, or whatever to give you the edge.
When I was in the USAF, the "card battle game" craze was really building up steam. "Magic: The Gathering" being the granddaddy along with Pokemon. A friend of mine was telling about the rules. This one douche found his way into the conversation. He was from Kentucky or some other state where no one likes you.
The next day, Douche Boy shows up with a binder full of some really, really expensive cards. My friend told me exactly where he got them and how much he paid for them, because he had been eyeing a couple at the comic book shop where they were sold.
What El Doucherino did was "outgeek" my friend. Did he need those cards? No. Did he try to wedge himself into a community that just one day previously he had zero interest in? Some people have a SENSE of community and are welcomed into it, others BUY their way in.
The information power play is not as douchey as the Daddy Warbucks Gambit. It is also not as successful. The moment you nail your opponent with a little known Star Wars fact that you read on the pg. 38 of a Starlog magazine in 1979, is the moment they go all "Treaty of Versailles" and simply state, "Really! Cool! I did not know that".
You also have to be gracious in your victory... The line of "Know it all Ass Clown" is easy to miss.
Community
A sense of community is pretty cool in one simple fact... You are not the lone weirdo anymore. Strength in numbers. All those stupid factoids that didn't mean shit earlier??? WELL THEY DO NOW!!!!
You will be surrounded by your peeps. You will make connections with people you would have never run into in the world, all do to your shared love of something that others just don't get.
Also, the geek communities are very accepting of new members. They don't question your motives. They appreciate imparting knowledge to the noobs. An instant, positive support system. Just add geek.
I loved at the end of "Fanboys". when the main cadre of... well, fanboys, are waiting to see Episode I, and the older brother shows up, causing the younger brother to ask, "Chaz, what the hell are you doing here?"
"C'mon, Bro. It's the 'Wars'!"
All he had to say. Welcome to the tribe!
Damn it feels good to be a geek...
Marvel announced it's film line up out to 2019!!! This was just to bitch slap DC and their tentative film schedule.
The latest Star Wars film just wrapped.
The last trip into Middle Earth is next month...
Harry Potter has been whispered to have another story coming.
The number one show on TV is "The Walking Dead". Based on what? A comic book... you damn right.
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In the end, geeks will inherit the earth because we are all a geek - in one way or another. It is a passion, going beyond a "hobby", and straddling the line of an obsession.
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Every couple of years we have the ability to overthrow the government. Why we haven't is beyond me. The current system is completely broken. That being said... It is all we got... for now.
I have my leanings. I have made no bones about them. I feel that a certain party preys on the weak minded, soundbite swallowing masses. They get the cheap bump from the crowd by mentioning a couple of buzzwords to get them riled up and thereby thinking like a mob.
I have heard the mob mentality equation defined as: Take the leader/speaker of the mob. The guy who gets them going. Take his IQ, divide it by the number of the mob. This number is the average IQ of the people in the mob. Say the leader has a 120 IQ. If there are 10 people in the mob, the average IQ of these normal people is reduced to 12. I am pretty sure even George W. Bush Jr. was in the 20's.
For the purposes of this blog, I will do my damnedest to keep it bipartisan in the blame.
Why You Should Not Vote.
The primary reason... It does not matter.
Your vote will not make a difference because all politicians are corrupt pieces of shit, entrenched in the system of lobbyists and monetary influences on a level which you could never compete.
There was a round of legislation after the Sandy Hook Shooting Massacre that called for more stringent background checks and reduction of magazine sizes. It had public support in the high 80's, and by some reports, 90% range. It did not pass. Why? The NRA, that's why. I hope it cost them a lot of money to buy off all the votes, and I hope the ghosts of all the victims of gun violence haunt their fucking dreams every fucking night.
A politician will say things in his or her ad... And then suddenly... Due to party lines being dictated by unions, corporate overlords, or lobbyists (like the example above), they do the exact opposite of what they promised in their campaigns.
Speaking of ads... "Oh, it is a week before the election... I still do not know how I will vote... I hope I hear another political ad on the radio or see another ad on TV." SAID NO ONE EVER.
Geography can play a part in your choosing not to participate in your governance. For me, personally, I live in occupied territory. Very red. Very redneck. Very dumb. My vote will be washed away by racists assholes who will exhaust every reason under the sun in order to avoid saying "I just don't like that colored fella in charge."
Redistricting will "disenfranchise" almost 25-30 million voters this mid-term. A certain party has made it more difficult to vote in Texas. Mostly to discourage elderly people and non-Caucasians from voting. Texas allows people with Concealed Carry Licenses to vote, but not Student IDs... Guns win over education, again.
As soon as the Supreme Court tried to summarily declare racism dead, by removing clauses to the Voting Laws, Texas legislators put forth 33 some odd new voting laws. I think this coincided with statistic that showed Latinos will be the majority demographic by 2020. They may have an opinion or two on Immigration Reform.
These new laws were to stop the scourge, the plague, of "voter fraud". Um... What voter fraud?
Again... All of this is moot, because you have no voice in the electoral process.
Why You Are a Fucking Idiot If You Do Not Vote.
What are the things you can do to honor a veteran? Put a fashionable ribbon on your truck? Tie a yellow ribbon around a tree? Give up your first class seat on a plane? (Actually saw a girl do this, made me think "Gee, we might make it after all.")
Here's an idea... How about you get off your ass and go exercise a right for which they fought and died for instead of spouting stupid shit and claiming "Freedom of Speech".
The biggest fear of the people in power is an informed population. This is why in a nightly national newscast, there is about 4 to 8 minutes of actual news that could be defined as "informative".
The current Congress has an approval rating in the low tweens. 12% or below. This is both the Senate and the House of "Representatives". Quotation marks were intentional... Casts derision. The same Congress usually has a 90% incumbency rate. Same assholes, same problems...
I really would like to see a rap sheet on my voting machine. A little icon or blurb that gives me one or two more vital pieces of intel... For one, show me the incumbent. The person who is in office presently. Second, on the incumbent, the year first elected to office. This way, I can see that the ads this person has been running, spouting "Washington is BROKEN!", it will be easy to see that this candidate is PART OF THE FUCKING PROBLEM!
America gets the government that it shows up for on voting day.
If you do not vote... You can still bitch, but I give it as much credence as I do an errant hair on my shirt. Seriously, voting gives you the glorious right to say, "I didn't vote for that asshole/bitch."
If you didn't vote... It is akin to bending over and offering your ass to the next group of officials to penetrate. You are the female bonobo monkey of governance... You lie there and take it from the entire tribe until your genitalia is red and swollen from constant abuse. I do so love to paint a picture.
If you do not know where you lie in the political spectrum, it is really quite simple...
Are you male, old, white, and really rich? You should vote "Republican".
Everyone else... Vote "Not Republican".
And that is another fun option when voting... I did not vote all Democrat. Some contests did not have a Democrat running, so I voted Anti-GOP in those.
Participation is not mandatory in our bloodless coup of the government, like it is in Brazil, but if you are a young person, do you want people so far out of touch with you and your concerns enacting laws for you?
For the ladies... In 2013, more laws LIMITING your reproductive rights were passed then in the LAST DECADE. For fuck's sake... Do I need to bring up the bonobo monkey thing again??? I can add pictures to these things... Just sayin'.
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In the end... Please vote. It does matter.... Like the old saying goes, "The only things wrong with the world are ignorance and apathy."
My reply, when I was a dipshit, "I don't know and I don't care."
I have grown up since then... I know more now, and it is not that I "care" per se... I am just pissed off.
Pimped out Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan meets Dolemite,
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Play word scramble with the title for a little fun!
