The State of Living

Those who know me know that I am pretty sick of Texas. Besides Austin, Texas has little redeeming value. The only reason I am here is the same reason bank robbers rob banks: It's where the money's at.

So, I began thinking about it... If I didn't live in Texas, where would I like to reside? And the process of elimination started...

Besides Austin, there really is no place in Texas I would like to live... And Austin is getting to the point where it is no longer as cool as it once was... The secret was let out of the bag and it got flooded with people who have made it as uncool as everywhere else in the  Low Bar State.

Waxahachie would be second place... only because it would be close to Scarborough Ren. Faire... and I have heard rumor that the city is getting some software that I have spent the last year becoming a bad ass in... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Okay... Next... And we will start East Coast...

Maine: Con: If Stephen King crosses your path, you have 24 hours to kill a clown or you die... Pro: You get to kill a clown!

New Hampshire: I am white. But even I am not that white.

Vermont: While I like "v" words, and maple syrup... I do not like vermouth and this state is too close to that word.

New York: I would never live in New York City, because it would be too much... and I am pretty sure that the one big ass city drives the cost of living for the rest of the state... And I would despise that my car insurance was crazy high because of dumb ass people.

Massachusetts: It would take too long to learn how to spell it... And also, Bahstun? No thanks.

Rhode Island: Climate change and the rising ocean levels will take care of this one.

Pennsylvania: Just by what I have seen at the sporting events... Where people will boo their own mothers, I just can't see me setting up shop there.

New Jersey: There is apparently a vile creature that haunts the State... called a Snooki... Reason enough to steer clear.

Maryland: I have no opinion about Maryland...  I have nothing in regards to Maryland. It just doesn't register... Word Association Time... "Maryland"... "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

Washington D.C.: I would get too angry everyday being that close to politicians. Lewis Black levels...

Delaware:

Nuff Said.

West Virginia: I am not that fond of any place that a direction is in the name...

Virgnia: This state sucks so bad that a part broke off and said "We are doing our own thing..."

North Carolina: I think I went here for a couple of weeks in the USAF... I dunno... Was drinking heavily then. I do remember it being muggy as all hell... so... Pass.

South Carolina: N. Carolina's redneck brother?

Georgia: The most litigious state. Everyone sues everyone... And no one has ever come back from Georgia and said "It was soooo cool there!". All I have ever heard is "Sweat pooled in every crack and crevice I possess and in ones I did not know I possessed."

Florida: Heaven's waiting room... I have been to the state once, on the Gulf side. Stayed on the beach which was nice... But again... It will be underwater sooner rather than later...

Ohio: I do not like college sports... I do not like the NFL...  I can VISIT the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame.

Kentucky: 4.4 million people, 12 last names... Do I hear dueling banjos?

Tennessee: Memphis had it's appeal... and that is lost to me now...

Alabama: Some people looked at "Forrest Gump" as a heart warming story... I saw it as a cautionary tale.

Mississippi: I think the state flag has a Rebel Flag in it... Automatic elimination.

Indiana: I have no opinion on Indiana... It neither repulses nor attracts me... Which means it has SECRETS!!!!

Michigan: Having escaped BOTH peninsulas, and now that the government is literally trying to kill it's residents... Michigan would be the last place I would ever return to.

Wisconsin: Summers here last a total of 37 minutes... Need a little more than that...

Minnesota:  Ohh dontcha noooo.... Cold weather and people talk funny. If I was gonna live in a place like this, I would just move to Sweden...

Iowa: I think I have an ex wife there... There are not a lot of people there, so the chances of bumping into her are not that astronomical. Why risk it? And as a famous comedian once said, "If you want to get away from it all, and I mean IT. ALL.... Des Moines, Iowa... IT doesn't even know where Des Moines is."

Illinois:  Again... I am betting that Chicago's economy drives the prices up of things across the state... I just am not a fan of that noise. And it is too close to Michigan. 

Missouri: Been there. Done that. They can keep it. Will have to visit the folks sometime. Got invited out for a beer from an old friend just last night who is also up that way. Visit: Yes. Live: No.
Arkansas: Have you heard how exciting life in Arkansas is? Yeah... Me neither.

Louisiana:  Two thirds of the state is a polluted wasteland do to Halliburton and the Koch Brother's tampering and oil and gas operations...

Oklahoma: I have driven through Oklahoma more than I have any other state. I consider that a sign...

Kansas: Part of me would not mind moving back to Kansas, but the state leadership is so completely insane... I mean, Brownback, the governor, is absurdly corrupt and bought off.. Sad... Lot of good people there... Can't vote to save their lives, but good people.

Nebraska: Like Kansas, but without the pizzazz?

South Dakota: Like Nebraska, without the seasons. And flat... Folks lived in Aberdeen... Dad told me once that there was a river about 250 miles away... If it were to flood and crest over 6 inches... they would see water in town... Your concrete PATIO has a steeper grade than that...

North Dakota: I knew a guy in the USAF who was stationed at Minot AFB in North Dakota... He asked, "Have you ever been cold?" and no matter what you answered, he said "That's cute."

Montana: In one week, there was a train derailment... which spilled cargo containers of bleach... An earthquake... and flooding... Total damages: $42.16... Yeah.. .no.

Wyoming: I drove across Wyoming and hit ALL THREE towns in the state... Before I did that, I thought this place was a myth. I have never met anyone from there... Never seen a license plate from there...

Colorado: Given recent legislation... Possible...

New Mexico: I like some moisture in the air...

Arizona: According to the representatives of this state there is nothing but drug cartel killings everywhere... McCain can keep that state.

Utah: Mormons. NEXT!

Nevada: I don't gamble or partake of prostitutes... So... The states two biggest hits are non factors...

Idaho: Never heard anything bad about Idaho. Never heard anything good either... And potatoes are a starch.

California: I just can't afford California... When the Yellowstone Caldera goes, I think it will trigger San Andreas to let most of Cali slide on off into the ocean...

Alaska: Palin. NEXT!

Hawaii: Of course I would live on an island paradise. Are you daft?

Washington: I lived there before, would do so again... After investing in some Gore-tex..

Oregon: Hmmm... I would very much not mind living in Oregon.

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I am sure every state has that one shining jewel of a town... Maybe even Mississippi... That one place that makes the state worth it.

Having driven a lot of miles across this nation, I have seen some amazing sights. Rock formations in Wyoming that make you want to punch that one guy at work who says "The Wurld iz only 3000 yeerz old! Bible sez sew!" 

Coming through the canyon pass into Albuquerque at night and the city lights just appearing... Magical. 

Storms rolling across the plains of Kansas... I mean, ya got an hour before they show up... but you know they are coming... 

I moved around a couple of times as a kid... And some more as an adult... I guess I am getting that wanderlust again...

Beast of burden,

d

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No Offense

If I were to say "What about all the good shit Hitler did?"... The audience would play a crucial role in how that query was received.

In front of a bat mitzvah... I am getting my ass kicked. No two ways about it. In front of the Aryan Brotherhood, I would get actual looks of pondering and nods in agreement.

First, let me be clear... Hitler was a micro-dicked, genocidal fucktard.

I can not go a week without hearing about how political correctness is "killing free speech" and making it impossible to speak your mind.

The Freedom of Speech is a tricky beast. I love that freedom more so than any other. I can walk right up to the President of the United States of America and say, "You Sir, are a piece of shit and a fucking war criminal." (This would have been applicable only from 2001 to 2008). No crime has been committed. No harm done. In other countries, that is a capitol offense.

Now, the tricky part is this: being able to say whatever you like is a beautiful thing. It is also a powerful thing. The Gospel of Spider-Man teaches us "With great power also must come great responsibility." (Amazing Fantasy, VOL#1, Issue #15). If you say something, you damn well better take responsibility for the reactions and repercussions.

In the USAF, I was feeling superior one day. Okay, to be more accurate, I was feeling even more superior this one day... I was giving a guy grief, just talking shit and belittling him.

"I'm sorry, did I not speak monosyllabic enough for you to understand me? Want me to slow it down for you to underst..." I never saw the fist coming. I did see stars though.

Later he apologized and wanted to know if I wanted to write him up seeing as how he was a reservist and was a higher rank than me. I told him no... I needed the beatdown for being a dick. He later told me that he was impressed with me...

"Because I did not write you up?"

"No... You should have been knocked the fuck out."

I learned in high school that I have a way with words. I can sway some opinions at time because I have a good command of the language and a decent delivery. Those two things are sometimes all it takes... How else do you explain televangelism???

I learned my lessons about how NOT to abuse my ability. In late 2014, I was seeing a Lady. She was an extremely attractive lady. This was the type of lady that I would take a picture, go back in time and show my 15 year old self, "THIS is what you will see naked one day!"... Anyways... She was hot... BUT she was having a tough time in the emotional and psychological department. Rough divorce and all.

I could have used a little charm... A little sweet talking and more than likely had my way with her. I, after MUCH internal debate, decided to convince/sway her to talk to a therapist and get some help. I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing... (I am still trying to convince myself.)

If there IS such a thing as karma... ANYTIME YOU ARE READY!!!!

Back to "political correctness"... You can say whatever the fuck you want. Just be prepared for the repercussions. "Well, then I have to watch what I say, and that ain't 'freedom'."

No, Pum'kin... You do not lack "freedom". You lack "balls".

If you feel that strongly in your convictions, but are worried about it being "received poorly"... well, gee... You must not feel that strongly.

Another thing... You had better fact check your shit.

If you speak the truth, political correctness has very little sway on your statement.

The leading Republican Candidate has been "Mostly False", "False" or "Pants On Fire" SEVENTY EIGHT PERCENT (78%) OF THE TIME!!!  The second runner up GOP fuckstick, the Canadian, meets those three distinctions SIXTY SIX PERCENT (66%) of the time...

And what do you hear about those two from the mouth-breathers their supporters? "I like that they don't give a dern about political correctness!"

Looks like they don't give a shit about being just plain "correct" either.

When someone bemoans the supposed loss of free speech to the P.C. police, my first thought is usually, "Just how bad do you want to use the N-word???" In my defense, I work with some real redneck types. Not all of them are racist... But some of them most definitely exude that vibe.

Seriously, what is in your heart that makes you want to say something hurtful, belittling and/or dismissive of an entire group of people?

Fear? Self loathing? Racism? Ignorance? Did Fox "News" put you up to it???

There is also the distinction between not P.C. and "hate speech".

I am not going to spend a lot of space on hate speech because... well... Who the fuck supports hate speech? There is not two sides to every argument. If you are spouting hate speech, you are not just being not P.C.", you are being inhumane... and like a rabid dog, I would have no problem if you were put down.... ATTICUS STYLE! (literary reference! R.I.P. Harper Lee!)

Now... As for being offended by something said that was not P.C.... &?

That's it... And? So?

There is nothing on the books that says you are immune to being offended. Nothing. Not one word in support of you being protected from something infwinging on your wittle, dewicate, sensitivities.

FICTIONAL EXAMPLE... Say someone, who is awesome as shit, and shall remain nameless. replied to a mass email at their place of employment to about 14 people. This someone told a joke in this email.

Here is the joke... Paraphrased, but the gist is there. It is in response to an email that 8 people in the mass email could not make a proposed date for a meeting, because they were in CPR training that day...

"The proposed date is out because 'Saving Lives' is important and all"

ONE of the recipients took "offense" to that. This person threw enough of a tantrum that the writer got written up.

How big of a wussy does one have to be in order to let something like that offend them?

To me, personally, it looks like they already had some beef with the writer, again.... nameless (and awesome as shit), and were looking for any opportunity to get them in trouble. You know... A dick move all around.

IF, again IF, I were to be involved in something like that and it really happened... I would want to tell the ONE offended person a couple of things... But would never say them because workplace harmony is vital...  BUT... Since this is FICTIONAL...

1) "Lighten up, Francis" (The Sgt. Hulka Initiative)

2) "You're offended? Fuck you."

3) "I am sorry you did not get the super complicated joke that a retarded third grader would called 'too mundane'."

Again... That would be if I were involved in the FICTIONAL EXAMPLE... And wanted to waste my breath on someone when compared to a wall is found to be the second best conversationalist.

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Is there a problem with political correctness?

I think it was needed because people were tired of having to remain silent when some assclown was spouting hateful ignorant shit.

As with a great many things, I think there was a slight "over-correction". I think the claim of  "being offended" can be used a little too much. Slung around so much that it loses it's bite.

Same thing with the accusation of "I can't say what I want because it is not PC!". Bandied about a little too much.

Having to watch what you say is not an infringement on your Freedom of Speech. And you really don't have to watch what you say. As the prophet Eminem once stated, "I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue."

If one does not properly gauge ones audience before speaking their mind, Political Correctness be damned... There will be no need for yanking... You can just pick them up off the ground.

Sender of emails,

d

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An Intimate Encounter... TRUE STORY!

I was nervous. My pulse was racing. I knew she was going to be back soon.

The price was already negotiated. Money had exchanged hands. I was not happy about that fact, but there was really no way around it. I was in need of her "services".

The room was small. Private, but small. The bed was small. I was very nervous now. It was going to happen. I needed it to happen. The apprehension was palpable.

When we talked to her before she left, she asked the right questions. She showed the right amount of empathy. She knew that I would rather not be in the situation I was in. There were some genuine smiles and the slightest flirtation. We both were aware of the interaction about to transpire. And again... She was already getting paid... Now it was just time to do the deed.

My mind raced about how I would react. Would I be immediately gratified? Would I be hurt? The questions were spewing forth from a mental Gatling gun. I had to steel my nerves, rein in the queries and  understand that it would be more "something done to me" vs. "me doing something to someone else"... It was inevitable - Agent Smith style! Was not a normal day, that much was assured.

I heard her knock on the door... Wait the appropriate three seconds and then enter. Her "uniform" was the epitome of utilitarian... It could get messy, but I knew the act itself would not take long... The build up had gone on too long...

She was carrying the tools of her trade, her implements of relief... She smiled and told me to undo my pants. I stood, and worried about losing my balance, looking the fool...

"You don't have to take them off, but slide them down...", she said. It was not a request... she commanded it. She was in full command of the action. She was the Mistress of The World at that moment. My resistance was futile. It would be of no use to negotiate any other way what was about to go down.

I slide my jeans down, exposing my flesh.

The next command came without preamble or hesitation.

"Lean over the bed. Place both of  your hands flat on the bed."

I did as I was instructed... Bracing... Breathing...

The next sensation was cold and wet, as she "prepped the area"... It wasn't long now. Mere moments.

I felt her hands touch me... More forceful than gentle, her grip was methodical and well practiced. Yet there was a caring aspect to it... I completely trusted her and what she was about to do...

She asked, yet did not ask, "Are you ready. You will feel this..."

And then she was in...

The act is one I knew I would never completely, 100%, enjoy... I so desperately needed it though... It was as if the act had become vital to my continued existence... It had been too long...

Before I knew it... She was done... She withdrew as gracefully as she had entered... A true and devoted professional... I could feel the lingering effects of her penetration...

I swelled with pride that I did not cry... I did not wince... I did not let her know how much her actions had effected me.

I pulled up my jeans... Thanked her... "Manners maketh the man" and all...

The nurse left, having given me my Cortisone shot...

_________________________________

Last week, on Sunday, when I do my blog, my Bronchitis was raging... I was bed ridden and feeling miserable as shit. It was no bueno.

You fucking perv, (which I love ya for being!)

d

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Dammit, Gym

About 3 or 4 years ago, I instituted a regimen to prolong this "living" thing. Not being as young as I once was, I am not out to kill myself and if I miss a day, I am not going to punish myself or feel bad. I am doing this to try and be a little better than I was yesterday.

I do not love going to the gym, but when I find myself saying, "Yes, Pestering Little Girl, ambushing me outside the Kroger, I would like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies!", it is almost a necessary evil. I do find myself enamored with most things evil. Seriously, Tagalongs are fucking heroin from Satan's personal stash.

I am not the foremost expert in gym etiquette, but a few things have made themselves apparent.

Different Gyms, Different People

In my area, there are a plethora gyms to choose from. Well... Let's first get some terminologies straight... There are gyms, fitness centers, and the runner up to "Globo Gym" from "Dodgeball".

I started going to a Bally's back in the day when I was still married. The staff was what one would call "Phantastic"... Meaning if you paid, they were attentive, if you did not, they were phantoms. That did not last long. I do not even remember what the per month fees were. They closed down a couple of years ago.

After losing about 118 lbs in the divorce (that was what she weighed, I think), I joined Lifetime Fitness. This place had everything. Ev. Er. Ree. Theen. Gah. Indoor pool, outdoor pool, two basketball courts, rock climbing wall, racquetball courts, steam rooms - dry and wet - with eucalyptus infused mist, spa, salon, food court with daily menus, free towels, spin cycle room, aerobic/zumba class room, Yoga studio, Day Care Center, and, oh yeah... some weights and stuff...

More like a vast phalanx of cardio machines... A myriad Nautilus contraptions, laid out in a very OCD friendly manner, and the smallest area seemed appropriated for actual free weights.

The place was palatial and the cleanest gym I have ever been too. You never once sniffed and thought, "Hey... reminds me of a High School locker room... Perspiration and desperation.". The staff was seriously very much on top of their game. They were always moving and busy, cleaning, maintaining, and very helpful - especially if you were a female, in your 20's, hot, and not there accompanied by a guy.

The main reason for the cleanliness and amenities, is that the dues at this place were nothing to sneeze at. Eighty bucks or so per month for the "Gold" level of a single person membership does seem a pittance for all that is included... Problem was, I didn't use any of that other shit. I went in, hit the machines I needed to, and tipped right out the door when done.

This was THE fitness center for the neglected housewives of men with LOTS of disposable income. It was a status. It was the Mega Church you go to, in order to network and be seen... You rarely saw a workout ensemble without new color matching expensive sporty shoes.

And for the record... Ladies... If you have a nice ass, and you have the word "Juicy" written across it... I am going to read it... and have an impure thought or twelve.

So, I was commiserating with some co-workers, and one mentioned that the Gold's offered a City Employee Discount. I stopped by to investigate, and the price was a quarter of what I was paying at Lifetime. So, I cancelled Lifetime and joined Gold's, now known as "Impact Fitness". Oooh!

This is a GYM. It has one or two of the niceties of Lifetime, but on a smaller scale. It is a GYM first, fitness boutique second. Again... I know my routines, I know my machines. In and out, like a duck mating.

The staff is very quick to welcome you upon entering, and salute you when on the way out. One lady took the time to know my name... Nice. The trainers look like they served time! Huge.

Some of the people here are some die hard meat heads. Huge biceps and bac-ne (back acne - sign of steroid usage), Also, there seems to always be a concentration of the senior citizens... Old bastards everywhere... A constant, visual reminder that "Shit... I gotta keep doing this or I end up like THAT!"

Okay... Here are some basic rules when at a gym...

Use and Move

Unless there are at least four of the same, IDENTICAL machines, always be thinking, "There is someone waiting to use this machine." I am doing the tried and true 3 sets, 10-15 reps per set on the machines. In between the sets, I rest for about 50 seconds to 1 minute. Each set takes about 20 to 30 seconds...

TIME FOR MATH!!! I am on a machine for about 4, maybe 5, minutes... Call it an even 6 minutes for preparation - Wiping it down with the gym's provided wipes, configuring the machine, and wiping it down when done with that station.

In all the bays of equipment, they have digital clocks... with a second counter. Huge benefit if you are trying to be considerate and not dilly-dally on the station.

Some people are fucking texting "War and Fucking Peace" on their phones between sets. I watched a lady text while sitting her more than ample ass on the squat machine... and while I did the lat pull down station, biceps station, and triceps station... She maybe did a set... That would be, on the outset, of 18 minutes.

Text later. Move heavy shit up n' down now. Mkay, Pumkin?

Couples

Ugh. Just fucking ugh. I understand you are wanting to bond and stuff... But come on... At least set yourselves up to take up different two machines at the same time, versus just both of you gang-banging on one...

She gets done, he has to reconfigure for him... He gets done... She has to reconfigure... Horseshit. Triples the time it would take a considerate person to be done and move on.

And why the fuck would you want to workout with a person you are involved with? I have seen some of the faces I make when working out... I do not someone, with whom sex is on the line, to see said face, unless in the middle of the aforementioned sex.

The couple that lifts together, stays on the machine I FUCKING NEED TO FINISH MY DAMN WORKOUT longer.

If I were to ever be involved with someone who wanted to workout with me, I would tell them... "Here are the machines and order I am going to hit them... Please stay out of my way."

I am not at the gym for social hour. I maybe say five words the entire time I am at the gym, usually consisting of, "Are you done with this?" while pointing to the machine I need to use.

Know your limits

The biggest fun is watching someone do something wrong and them getting hurt because of it. Think "NASCAR". People not knowing what a machine does or how it is used... Good viewing...

In my gym now, there are two rows of about twenty cardio machines a piece. The back row is elliptical machines and Stair Masters. The front row is comprised of treadmills with a path between the rows. The most dangerous part of my cardio workout, is walking past the row of treadmills in front of me.

There is usually some guy, trying to impress a female trainer or other patron, has the incline set to "Fucking Mt. Everest" and the speed set to "Usain Bolt".

I envision me, all happy for having done my workout, walking by and this douche monger slipping and shooting at me like the fleshy cannonball that he is... Bones snap, extremities entangle... and I curse and proceed to let this person know, in no uncertain terms, the status of their impending doom...

Sweat and Aroma

Wipe down the machines when done. Six words. How hard is that? Apparently, quite difficult. It is 9 times out of 10, the old people who are the culprit.

Part of me gets it... "I am old and gonna die soon... I could give a fuck about wiping down the machine." They should have t-shirts made that say that very thing... I will sponsor!

I don't know what aroma the Elderly employ... a mixture of Ben-Gay, Old Spice, and Polydent maybe... but damn is it pungent... I guess to mask "decay" it would have to be.

Another group of people that frequent this gym are of Asian heritage. I am voting Korean, mainly because of the Kimchi.

Kimchi is a cabbage dish. Kimchi is a staple in some ethnic diets.

The reason I know it is Kimchi is because in the USAF, there was a guy who had Kimchi almost everyday.

I was in my mid-20's then so my "tact" and "elocution" were not as honed. My abhorrence to the olfactory offense came out in a less than stellar manner... "I could dig up a dead, maggot infested hooker, who was skull fucked by a syphilitic hobo, with an 'undetermined' rash, and hit a raw sewage line... and that smell would be infinitely more pleasing to my nostrils than that shit you just microwaved."

Also... Kimchi seeps... It exudes from pores... It is sweated out... So, when I walk to the fountain for some hydration and have to pass by the nice group of people on the stationary bikes... The Kimchi Cloud is thick as shit! "I can taste it! I can taste it! I can taste it! I can taste it! BLERG!"

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In the end... It is the same as some many other things... People need to realize that the Universe does not revolve around them.

There are scientific reasons to focus on the reason you are there in the first place. If you wait to long between sets, your heart rate will slow and you will lose some metabolic thingy... Basically your body will go into "cool down" mode.

It is also hazardous to your health because I will be looking at those 16 lb. medicine balls and thinking about pinging one of your thick skull... Unless you are female, in your 20's, hot, not accompanied by a guy, and your ass says "Juicy".

Under my wheels,

d

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No Actual Realities Were Harmed in the Writing of This Blog

Supposedly there is a football game on later, so I should knock this one out... I usually try to hammer out a topic by Wednesday. Thursday and Friday are spent giving some thought. Saturday is polishing and refining the language and flow.

Sunday rolls around and I scrap it and just let this thing pour forth.

I think it was on Thursday I saw a trailer for an indie film called "Creative Control". I was actually doing some work at the time, so I was glancing every so often and mildly giving it attention.

The basic gist is that a company invents some hipster glasses that give the wearer an augmented view of his/her surroundings... Like a "Heads Up Display". You can look at a person and it give you details about them; list of known relatives, last meeting, hobbies, etc.

You could also associate a "virtual skin" over someone. Say, every time you look at your boss, the Hee Haw Jack Ass is replacing their face. Hilarity could very well ensue!

Well, the wonderful main character of the film gets these glasses... He is a stable person by all accounts. Job. Residence. Girlfriend. Friends. The guy's best friend has a girlfriend and our main character has a harmless crush on her. So... what does this guy do... You guessed it... Takes a rendering of his friend's girlfriend and overlays it on HIS girlfriend... So when he looks at his girlfriend, he sees his friend's girlfriend.

Dick move - For a couple of reasons... 1) Just rude... 2) Too easy to get caught. 3) When you eventually DO get caught, you have intruded/trampled on three other people's lives.

The trailers brought forth some questions...

Where does "Virtual Reality", or VR stand now? Where do we stand now? Are we ready for it as a species?

The Technology

When it comes to VR, the next big thing is the Oculus Rift. This is a VR headset and controller combo. Then there is the PrioVR... Which is very much like a motion capture apparatus combined with a VR headset and controller. Then there is the Virtuix Omni, which lets your body take over some of the control...

These are the household options. Consumer level shit. I would be insanely interested in what DARPA has cooked up... What the clandestine operations have used VR for...

One could argue that the since June 18th, 2004, VR has been able to kill. That was the day of the first confirmed deaths by U.S. drone strike. Sitting in an air conditioned trailer in a parking lot in Las Vegas and killing 5-8 people in South Waziristan, some 7689 miles away, is indeed a virtual reality...

So... With one of the biggest technological breakthroughs at our doorstep... What are we doing with in it's fledgling hours??? Sex and violence! As with any new tech... Porn is here to blaze a trail, and this time, without a burning sensation in your crotch.

We, as a species.

There have been deaths from playing online games for too long... It is very troubling, the levels of addiction shown in people playing these games. I spent an night, or four, playing some titles back in the day. I also knew where the fucking pause button was at all times...

Now... These are GAMES we are talking about. Dennis Miller, before he became a GOP ass puppet,

THIS WAS IN 1994!!!!!! Of course, they missed the deadline... And Claudia Schiffer aged kinda well... But you get the point...

If I were able to have a virtual three way with Alessandra Ambrosio and Betty White (DON'T JUDGE ME!!!) - I just might need to have a safety system to limit my time in that world...

Basically... We have no self control... Some do... Some kinda do... Some... Well, let's just say the death toll in the first month would be STAGGERING. The thing is, almost everybody has something that would test those very limits... My Mom might rake virtual leaves til she popped... My Dad would virtually recreate trips he has taken and "virtually" destroy the commuters that have angered him...

What would that kind of competition lead to in a relationship? People already have trouble maintaining relationships in the connected age. I have seen entire dinners with the two parties never looking up from there phones.

Now, throw in a escapism where you are granted god-like authority... No person could compete with that...

Allow me to add another monkey to the wrench... Artificial Intelligence. In Spike Jonze's "Her", Joaquin Phoenix's character falls in love with his souped up Siri. Incorporate that with VR and you have a virtual ENTITY.

What happens when it gets jealous?

Probably the most extensive visions of a world engrossed with a VR was "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline. Was a fantastic read and the author is about my age, so every cult reference was fully received with glee and a fond mental embrace. You should check it out. Damn good book.

Orrrr... Wait for the movie. Speilberg is attached. Watch it on your Oculus Rift.

_______________________________

I would end this exercise with the following words... If you find yourself having trouble dealing with the reality as it is, those troubles will not go away when you add the word "virtual" to it...

Running twice as fast to stay in the same place,

d

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Getting Use To Disappointment

Step 1.



See?

d

The Highest Card

So far, this year has been... well... A steaming pile of shit.

First of all, Rickman and Bowie. I left out Lemmy, as he kicked it in 2015... But still... If this is the way 2016 is going to go, it will be a rough year. I am more and more pleased with my decision to buy insurance on my Black Sabbath tickets for the September show. HOLD ON, OZZY!!!!

Secondly, I had a wonderful head cold. I was coughing up stuff with enough substance to give it a name... "And I shall call you 'Lumpy'!" I am finally feeling like my old self again. It was during my "not-going-to-the-gym" and "not-doing-a-damn-thing" that I discovered an old show to binge on. "The West Wing". Solid writing, good cast, fun show. Got me to thinking...

I don't know if you have heard, but there is a presidential election this year. I know... Snuck right up on ya, didn't it?

We had a Mega Jackpot Lott pool at work, and after seeing the "hookers and cocaine" lottery guy, it made me envision holding the big check, with all the zeros, and being asked the question... "What do you plan to do with all that money???"

"Buy political influence. I hear it is a buyers market this year!"

In this election cycle that has gone on forever already... We have 283 days to go. For Xmas this year, I am giving everyone a break from campaign commercials.

The candidates are not set in stone as of yet. There have been umpteen million contenders, but there are four main would be kings. (I do fully realize that with this many players on the board, this early in the game, the finicky nature of the American voter... all is subject to change... )

Dishonorable mentions:

Chris Chirstie - Would be in it, but will be forever stuck on the bridge he had shut down.

Martin O'Malley - Who?

Ben Carson - The "WTF" factor on this guy just kept getting larger and larger and larger.

Marco Rubio - Makes me want to play a game involving a pool. A news article compared him to a computer... Basically, lacking a soul.

Jeb! Bush - There are times that I know that my words will truly never be able to convey the feelings and message as well as someone else could... This is why there is youtube. Here is how I feel about another Bush in the White House...

Hillary "Remember the 90's???" Clinton

The name recognition. The lengthy resume. The legacy... All of that means squat if people can't trust you. The Benghazi Hearings were political theater, designed by the GOP to knock her down in the poles. Mission Accomplished. They bragged about it.

All they have proved is that she did not do anything wrong. Dragged her name through the mud nonetheless. The one shining light from all that nonsense... When the accusers started screaming that "She was in charge, it happened on her watch, she is to blame.", and someone said... "So... by that logic... 9/11..." They shut the fuck up pretty damn quickly...

Ted "The Canadian" Cruz

He's fucking Canadian! How is this even a thing? In all reality, he is hated by his own party as much as he is hated by the Democrats. John McCain called him a "wacko bird"... I don't know if in "old bitter bastard" speak that is really, really bad... But it sounds like it...

The hatred of Ted Cruz is not a recent phenomena either... He has been disliked for decades... His college roommate has been pretty vocal in his disdain. This was in COLLEGE... When all you had to do to be accepted was NOT be a dick... He couldn't manage to do in four years... Do you know how long a presidential term is???

Bernie Sanders

I know who I'm voting for.

So far in this election, there are two candidates not fellating billionaires and multi-millionaires. One is Bernie Sanders... The other...

Donald Trump

NOTE: I fear writing this because all the good jokes have been written... Will do my best not to plagiarize... And if I do... it is either subconscious, or too damn good to pass up...

The only reason Trump is not cozy-ing up to billionaires? BECAUSE HE IS ONE!

Funny thing about his "humble" beginnings... He started out with a meager, $1,000,000 gift from his Dad, an even bigger racist... Now, the Donald loves to tout his "business acumen"... He says he is worth about 7 billion... According to some, he would be worth more if he simply invested it and done NOTHING.

While Trump himself has never filed for bankruptcy, FOUR of HIS companies have...

If you look at all his speeches, all his campaign stops, all his television appearances... HE HAS SAID NOTHING! Apologies... Just wanted to draw some attention to the previous sentence. Not a thing... He is a sound bite candidate. There is NO strategy! There is NO plan! There is no SUBSTANCE!

A candidate has to stand for something. I may hate the Republican party, or the sick twisted version it has become, but, dammit... A tried and true Republican stands for limited government with fiscal responsibility... unless it is a social issue, then they must legislate the fuck out of it... Government that hurts Big Money = Bad... Government that legislates THEIR morality = Good.

Donald Trump is beholden to no one but himself. The first question in the first debate... "Would any candidate run as an independent if they did not receive the Republican nomination?" Three guesses who raised their hand...

This week he was endorsed by Sarah Palin. She had to take time out of her busy schedule of bailing out her abusive son, taking care of her two bastard grandchildren... or is it three? I know her "Values" preaching daughter has two out of wedlock... She also has that one... Trig... Which is also the name of the class that no one in the Palin household could pass.

Trump supporters have a common trait it seems... They like to be told what is going to happen. They like to led to believe that they will be safe. They are basically subs... Not like a substitute teacher... No, like a submissive (The guy with a leather mask getting whipped by a dominatrix.)

My friend at work likes to quip that "Trump is just saying what everyone is thinking"... I politely correct him.

"He is saying what everyone is feeling. There is not a lot of 'thinking' going on."

_________________________________

In the past two elections, I did end up donating to a candidate... And they won... Both times.

My biggest regret is that they got my email address. I have gotten 16 emails already today from Hillary and the DNC... This is only going to get worse. Fucking politics.

Regardless of who you are voting for, please vote.

I will be doing my best to not go off on this stuff too much for the remainder of the election cycle...

I'm Douglas Denniston, and I approve this message,

d

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