Step 1.
See?
d
Friday, February 5, 2016
Sunday, January 24, 2016
The Highest Card
So far, this year has been... well... A steaming pile of shit.
First of all, Rickman and Bowie. I left out Lemmy, as he kicked it in 2015... But still... If this is the way 2016 is going to go, it will be a rough year. I am more and more pleased with my decision to buy insurance on my Black Sabbath tickets for the September show. HOLD ON, OZZY!!!!
Secondly, I had a wonderful head cold. I was coughing up stuff with enough substance to give it a name... "And I shall call you 'Lumpy'!" I am finally feeling like my old self again. It was during my "not-going-to-the-gym" and "not-doing-a-damn-thing" that I discovered an old show to binge on. "The West Wing". Solid writing, good cast, fun show. Got me to thinking...
I don't know if you have heard, but there is a presidential election this year. I know... Snuck right up on ya, didn't it?
We had a Mega Jackpot Lott pool at work, and after seeing the "hookers and cocaine" lottery guy, it made me envision holding the big check, with all the zeros, and being asked the question... "What do you plan to do with all that money???"
"Buy political influence. I hear it is a buyers market this year!"
In this election cycle that has gone on forever already... We have 283 days to go. For Xmas this year, I am giving everyone a break from campaign commercials.
The candidates are not set in stone as of yet. There have been umpteen million contenders, but there are four main would be kings. (I do fully realize that with this many players on the board, this early in the game, the finicky nature of the American voter... all is subject to change... )
Dishonorable mentions:
Chris Chirstie - Would be in it, but will be forever stuck on the bridge he had shut down.
Martin O'Malley - Who?
Ben Carson - The "WTF" factor on this guy just kept getting larger and larger and larger.
Marco Rubio - Makes me want to play a game involving a pool. A news article compared him to a computer... Basically, lacking a soul.
Jeb! Bush - There are times that I know that my words will truly never be able to convey the feelings and message as well as someone else could... This is why there is youtube. Here is how I feel about another Bush in the White House...
Hillary "Remember the 90's???" Clinton
The name recognition. The lengthy resume. The legacy... All of that means squat if people can't trust you. The Benghazi Hearings were political theater, designed by the GOP to knock her down in the poles. Mission Accomplished. They bragged about it.
All they have proved is that she did not do anything wrong. Dragged her name through the mud nonetheless. The one shining light from all that nonsense... When the accusers started screaming that "She was in charge, it happened on her watch, she is to blame.", and someone said... "So... by that logic... 9/11..." They shut the fuck up pretty damn quickly...
Ted "The Canadian" Cruz
He's fucking Canadian! How is this even a thing? In all reality, he is hated by his own party as much as he is hated by the Democrats. John McCain called him a "wacko bird"... I don't know if in "old bitter bastard" speak that is really, really bad... But it sounds like it...
The hatred of Ted Cruz is not a recent phenomena either... He has been disliked for decades... His college roommate has been pretty vocal in his disdain. This was in COLLEGE... When all you had to do to be accepted was NOT be a dick... He couldn't manage to do in four years... Do you know how long a presidential term is???
Bernie Sanders
I know who I'm voting for.
So far in this election, there are two candidates not fellating billionaires and multi-millionaires. One is Bernie Sanders... The other...
Donald Trump
NOTE: I fear writing this because all the good jokes have been written... Will do my best not to plagiarize... And if I do... it is either subconscious, or too damn good to pass up...
The only reason Trump is not cozy-ing up to billionaires? BECAUSE HE IS ONE!
Funny thing about his "humble" beginnings... He started out with a meager, $1,000,000 gift from his Dad, an even bigger racist... Now, the Donald loves to tout his "business acumen"... He says he is worth about 7 billion... According to some, he would be worth more if he simply invested it and done NOTHING.
While Trump himself has never filed for bankruptcy, FOUR of HIS companies have...
If you look at all his speeches, all his campaign stops, all his television appearances... HE HAS SAID NOTHING! Apologies... Just wanted to draw some attention to the previous sentence. Not a thing... He is a sound bite candidate. There is NO strategy! There is NO plan! There is no SUBSTANCE!
A candidate has to stand for something. I may hate the Republican party, or the sick twisted version it has become, but, dammit... A tried and true Republican stands for limited government with fiscal responsibility... unless it is a social issue, then they must legislate the fuck out of it... Government that hurts Big Money = Bad... Government that legislates THEIR morality = Good.
Donald Trump is beholden to no one but himself. The first question in the first debate... "Would any candidate run as an independent if they did not receive the Republican nomination?" Three guesses who raised their hand...
This week he was endorsed by Sarah Palin. She had to take time out of her busy schedule of bailing out her abusive son, taking care of her two bastard grandchildren... or is it three? I know her "Values" preaching daughter has two out of wedlock... She also has that one... Trig... Which is also the name of the class that no one in the Palin household could pass.
Trump supporters have a common trait it seems... They like to be told what is going to happen. They like to led to believe that they will be safe. They are basically subs... Not like a substitute teacher... No, like a submissive (The guy with a leather mask getting whipped by a dominatrix.)
My friend at work likes to quip that "Trump is just saying what everyone is thinking"... I politely correct him.
"He is saying what everyone is feeling. There is not a lot of 'thinking' going on."
In the past two elections, I did end up donating to a candidate... And they won... Both times.
My biggest regret is that they got my email address. I have gotten 16 emails already today from Hillary and the DNC... This is only going to get worse. Fucking politics.
Regardless of who you are voting for, please vote.
I will be doing my best to not go off on this stuff too much for the remainder of the election cycle...
I'm Douglas Denniston, and I approve this message,
d
This blog brought to you by Duane Eddy & His Twangy Guitar, The Brothers Johnson, The Lemonheads, Alice In Chains, The Knickerbockers, Led Zeppelin, White Zombie, The Cult, Wings, Metallica, Korn, Anthrax, Stevie Wonder, Dr. Frankenfurter, Lords of Acid, Winery Dogs (Check these guys out... FANTASTIC band), The Darkness, America, The Beatles, and Guns N' Roses.
First of all, Rickman and Bowie. I left out Lemmy, as he kicked it in 2015... But still... If this is the way 2016 is going to go, it will be a rough year. I am more and more pleased with my decision to buy insurance on my Black Sabbath tickets for the September show. HOLD ON, OZZY!!!!
Secondly, I had a wonderful head cold. I was coughing up stuff with enough substance to give it a name... "And I shall call you 'Lumpy'!" I am finally feeling like my old self again. It was during my "not-going-to-the-gym" and "not-doing-a-damn-thing" that I discovered an old show to binge on. "The West Wing". Solid writing, good cast, fun show. Got me to thinking...
I don't know if you have heard, but there is a presidential election this year. I know... Snuck right up on ya, didn't it?
We had a Mega Jackpot Lott pool at work, and after seeing the "hookers and cocaine" lottery guy, it made me envision holding the big check, with all the zeros, and being asked the question... "What do you plan to do with all that money???"
"Buy political influence. I hear it is a buyers market this year!"
In this election cycle that has gone on forever already... We have 283 days to go. For Xmas this year, I am giving everyone a break from campaign commercials.
The candidates are not set in stone as of yet. There have been umpteen million contenders, but there are four main would be kings. (I do fully realize that with this many players on the board, this early in the game, the finicky nature of the American voter... all is subject to change... )
Dishonorable mentions:
Chris Chirstie - Would be in it, but will be forever stuck on the bridge he had shut down.
Martin O'Malley - Who?
Ben Carson - The "WTF" factor on this guy just kept getting larger and larger and larger.
Marco Rubio - Makes me want to play a game involving a pool. A news article compared him to a computer... Basically, lacking a soul.
Jeb! Bush - There are times that I know that my words will truly never be able to convey the feelings and message as well as someone else could... This is why there is youtube. Here is how I feel about another Bush in the White House...
Hillary "Remember the 90's???" Clinton
The name recognition. The lengthy resume. The legacy... All of that means squat if people can't trust you. The Benghazi Hearings were political theater, designed by the GOP to knock her down in the poles. Mission Accomplished. They bragged about it.
All they have proved is that she did not do anything wrong. Dragged her name through the mud nonetheless. The one shining light from all that nonsense... When the accusers started screaming that "She was in charge, it happened on her watch, she is to blame.", and someone said... "So... by that logic... 9/11..." They shut the fuck up pretty damn quickly...
Ted "The Canadian" Cruz
He's fucking Canadian! How is this even a thing? In all reality, he is hated by his own party as much as he is hated by the Democrats. John McCain called him a "wacko bird"... I don't know if in "old bitter bastard" speak that is really, really bad... But it sounds like it...
The hatred of Ted Cruz is not a recent phenomena either... He has been disliked for decades... His college roommate has been pretty vocal in his disdain. This was in COLLEGE... When all you had to do to be accepted was NOT be a dick... He couldn't manage to do in four years... Do you know how long a presidential term is???
Bernie Sanders
I know who I'm voting for.
So far in this election, there are two candidates not fellating billionaires and multi-millionaires. One is Bernie Sanders... The other...
Donald Trump
NOTE: I fear writing this because all the good jokes have been written... Will do my best not to plagiarize... And if I do... it is either subconscious, or too damn good to pass up...
The only reason Trump is not cozy-ing up to billionaires? BECAUSE HE IS ONE!
Funny thing about his "humble" beginnings... He started out with a meager, $1,000,000 gift from his Dad, an even bigger racist... Now, the Donald loves to tout his "business acumen"... He says he is worth about 7 billion... According to some, he would be worth more if he simply invested it and done NOTHING.
While Trump himself has never filed for bankruptcy, FOUR of HIS companies have...
If you look at all his speeches, all his campaign stops, all his television appearances... HE HAS SAID NOTHING! Apologies... Just wanted to draw some attention to the previous sentence. Not a thing... He is a sound bite candidate. There is NO strategy! There is NO plan! There is no SUBSTANCE!
A candidate has to stand for something. I may hate the Republican party, or the sick twisted version it has become, but, dammit... A tried and true Republican stands for limited government with fiscal responsibility... unless it is a social issue, then they must legislate the fuck out of it... Government that hurts Big Money = Bad... Government that legislates THEIR morality = Good.
Donald Trump is beholden to no one but himself. The first question in the first debate... "Would any candidate run as an independent if they did not receive the Republican nomination?" Three guesses who raised their hand...
This week he was endorsed by Sarah Palin. She had to take time out of her busy schedule of bailing out her abusive son, taking care of her two bastard grandchildren... or is it three? I know her "Values" preaching daughter has two out of wedlock... She also has that one... Trig... Which is also the name of the class that no one in the Palin household could pass.
Trump supporters have a common trait it seems... They like to be told what is going to happen. They like to led to believe that they will be safe. They are basically subs... Not like a substitute teacher... No, like a submissive (The guy with a leather mask getting whipped by a dominatrix.)
My friend at work likes to quip that "Trump is just saying what everyone is thinking"... I politely correct him.
"He is saying what everyone is feeling. There is not a lot of 'thinking' going on."
_________________________________
My biggest regret is that they got my email address. I have gotten 16 emails already today from Hillary and the DNC... This is only going to get worse. Fucking politics.
Regardless of who you are voting for, please vote.
I will be doing my best to not go off on this stuff too much for the remainder of the election cycle...
I'm Douglas Denniston, and I approve this message,
d
This blog brought to you by Duane Eddy & His Twangy Guitar, The Brothers Johnson, The Lemonheads, Alice In Chains, The Knickerbockers, Led Zeppelin, White Zombie, The Cult, Wings, Metallica, Korn, Anthrax, Stevie Wonder, Dr. Frankenfurter, Lords of Acid, Winery Dogs (Check these guys out... FANTASTIC band), The Darkness, America, The Beatles, and Guns N' Roses.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
DRAW!
It is a new year. 2016. An election year. Year of an Olympics I believe... I dunno... Don't rightly care about it enough to Google.
Every new year brings a sense of rebirth and a clean slate. Maybe we, as a species can be better. Maybe we can value life above material greed. Maybe we can see that we are all connected and that violence against another, is really violence against yourself.
And then you hear about "Open Carry" being legal in your home state.
In Texas, as of January 1, 2016, a person who has the prior "Concealed Carry Permit" can legally carry their firearm in open view. I have been racking my brain as to the "need" for said legislation. I don't recall there being hundreds of people chanting for the right to open carry. I don't recall any petitions. I heard no outcry from any victims of gun violence pleading for more guns and visible ones, at that.
I did hear and see the online outcry and outrage after the FAIRLY elected President decided that enough was fucking enough. Through "Executive Action" he will institute common sense steps.
Will it stop all mass shootings? No. Will it stop one? Maybe. All I know is that what is in place now AIN'T FUCKING WORKING!
By making you pass a background check for a weapon, how is your 2nd Amendment right infringed, Mr. or Mrs. Well Regulated Militia Member?
Second question... Is there someone, identified as an agent from the United States government, knocking on your door RIGHT FUCKING NOW asking for your guns? Rhetorical question because I already know the damn answer, and it is "NO". So, when you say "Obama is taking our guns.", you are either a liar or seeing and hearing things. If you are not a liar, maybe someone SHOULD relieve you of your weapons due to you being an insane moron.
I also saw this morning a post that bemoaned that "Obama wants to usurp 'Doctor/Patient' confidentiality by allowing Dr's to inform police on gun owners."
Um... Where the fuck to begin... 1) If memory serves, a doctor has a responsibility to report if a patient is threatening or planning on doing harm to themselves or others. There are caveats to the Doctor/Patient confidentiality.
2) How would "allowing", not "mandating", doctors to warn the cops of a possibly horrendous situation be a bad thing?
"Hey, I got a patient here... He has 20 AR-15's, 30,000 rounds of ammo, and says that children are actually 'Satan's whores' and they need to be 'cleansed' and he lives next to an elementary school... What was that? Oh... Yes, he has an extremely small penis."
3) Shrinks aside... How would guns even come up with your general practitioner?
"Yeah, Doc... My shoulder has been acting up. It could be the 18 hours a day I spend at the gun range practicing for when the race wars is started when Jesus comes down and reveals himself to the world in the form of a talking General Lee from the 'Dukes of Hazzard'... Why yes, it will sound like Waylon Jennings! Um... Why are you measuring my penis?"
Outcomes
There will be more deaths. Innocent lives lost. Then there will be the Darwinism In Effect lives lost.
And, to go off for a bit... "Good Guy With A Gun"... Well, I won't go off, I will let you watch it perfectly summarized... Best 10:37 I have ever seen on the subject of "Good Guy With A Gun".
This being Texas, and having lived here for the majority of my life (Yes, I vomited inside my mouth a little when I typed that), I can honestly say that some of the worst drivers and traffic can be found in this state.
I have made the trip from Dallas to Austin in 4.5 hours. The last EIGHT FUCKING MILES took 1.5 hours. I am seriously thankful that I was NOT armed.
This leads to the aforementioned Darwinism In Effect lives. Fender benders between vehicle operators who both happened to be armed will not end in the exchange of insurance information, but rather an exchange of bullets. "DRAW!".... Hey... That would make a catchy blog title... On it!
We have too many assclowns who want to be "The Hero"... Played "Call of Duty III" on "Expert Level"... So... They know what they would do! Some of them WANT there to be a situation... These people are the ones who scare me the most. We will just call them "Zimmermans"
Who is in the right if two people licensed to open carry don't like the looks of each other... And they decide that the other one is not supposed to have that weapon... Can two people "Stand Their Ground" and shoot each other? HERE'S HOPING!
What happens when Muslims get the proper paperwork and start open carrying? How wonderful will all the gun toting assholes find it then?
The Cops
Yesterday was "Law Officer Appreciation Day". No thanks... I don't trust cops at all. Last thing I want to do is try to run up and hug one... Well, my being white, I could maybe get away with it... If I weren't, the best case scenario is a nice tazing.
With the open carry coming into effect... And an already pussified cadre of officers... I can see NO good coming of this.
I call them "pussified" because apparently it is open season and a fucking free for all for cops if they "feel in danger of their lives". Well, excuse me all to hell, THAT IS PART OF THE DAMN JOB. If you want to be honored, and revered for your job then stop being a pussy... What bullshit excuse do you get to use when a 13 year old girl won't leave a classroom?
Yeah... This asshole deserves to be appreciated.
Regardless of your stance on cops, you would have to classify them as "on edge", given the current climate. Cops have a tendency to shoot UNARMED peeps these days... The last thing I would want to do is to give them any MORE reason to shoot me.
And Gawd forbid they try a fucking non lethal option... They are aware those exist, right?
The Signs
Businesses wishing to maintain a semblance of sanity, by denying Rambo-Wanna-Be's admittance, must have this sign at all entry points:
There are about 4 or 5 rules... Letter height, contrasting colors... But it makes me feel good to know that sign making companies were getting massive orders for these signs.
I personally would leave a place of business if I saw a person open carrying. If I were grocery shopping, I would leave my cart and exit. If I were eating a meal, I would get up from the table and leave - finishing my Jack N Coke first... I am not wasteful...
I would stop by the manager's office and tell them that I do not feel safe because there is a person with a gun and no badge in their store.
A friend of mine thought it would be very silly for a business owner to place this sign in his establishment. Thinking that it would be an invitation for criminals. My thought was this... It never says that the owner of said business can't be packing...
I guess it is easily summed up... No one is coming for your guns. There is no infringing going on. We just have a president who is sick and fucking tired of having to console families.
We have a system in place that has failed. "You can't stop the criminals from getting guns." True... So we should just not do anything... That got a lot of Americans killed last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. Let's not take into account that crimes rates across the board have been dropping in recent years. No... That would be damning to the "Protection" and "Self Defense" aspects of firearms.
I know a lot of people have guns for that aspect alone. I can understand it. I will NEVER understand the arsenal mentality. I will NEVER understand the adoration for and glorification of them. Until we can cure that... We will always have a gun problem in this country.
I do find solace in the fact that it will no longer take a large truck to know who is compensating in the Lone Star State.
Instant karma's gonna get you,
d
This blog brought to you by Van Halen, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, Type O Negative, The Cars, The Toadies, Nirvana, B.B. King, Dethklok, Megadeth, Korn, Doobie Brothers, Whitesnake, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Beck, and John Lennon and the Plastic Yoko Band.
Every new year brings a sense of rebirth and a clean slate. Maybe we, as a species can be better. Maybe we can value life above material greed. Maybe we can see that we are all connected and that violence against another, is really violence against yourself.
And then you hear about "Open Carry" being legal in your home state.
In Texas, as of January 1, 2016, a person who has the prior "Concealed Carry Permit" can legally carry their firearm in open view. I have been racking my brain as to the "need" for said legislation. I don't recall there being hundreds of people chanting for the right to open carry. I don't recall any petitions. I heard no outcry from any victims of gun violence pleading for more guns and visible ones, at that.
I did hear and see the online outcry and outrage after the FAIRLY elected President decided that enough was fucking enough. Through "Executive Action" he will institute common sense steps.
Will it stop all mass shootings? No. Will it stop one? Maybe. All I know is that what is in place now AIN'T FUCKING WORKING!
By making you pass a background check for a weapon, how is your 2nd Amendment right infringed, Mr. or Mrs. Well Regulated Militia Member?
Second question... Is there someone, identified as an agent from the United States government, knocking on your door RIGHT FUCKING NOW asking for your guns? Rhetorical question because I already know the damn answer, and it is "NO". So, when you say "Obama is taking our guns.", you are either a liar or seeing and hearing things. If you are not a liar, maybe someone SHOULD relieve you of your weapons due to you being an insane moron.
I also saw this morning a post that bemoaned that "Obama wants to usurp 'Doctor/Patient' confidentiality by allowing Dr's to inform police on gun owners."
Um... Where the fuck to begin... 1) If memory serves, a doctor has a responsibility to report if a patient is threatening or planning on doing harm to themselves or others. There are caveats to the Doctor/Patient confidentiality.
2) How would "allowing", not "mandating", doctors to warn the cops of a possibly horrendous situation be a bad thing?
"Hey, I got a patient here... He has 20 AR-15's, 30,000 rounds of ammo, and says that children are actually 'Satan's whores' and they need to be 'cleansed' and he lives next to an elementary school... What was that? Oh... Yes, he has an extremely small penis."
3) Shrinks aside... How would guns even come up with your general practitioner?
"Yeah, Doc... My shoulder has been acting up. It could be the 18 hours a day I spend at the gun range practicing for when the race wars is started when Jesus comes down and reveals himself to the world in the form of a talking General Lee from the 'Dukes of Hazzard'... Why yes, it will sound like Waylon Jennings! Um... Why are you measuring my penis?"
Outcomes
There will be more deaths. Innocent lives lost. Then there will be the Darwinism In Effect lives lost.
And, to go off for a bit... "Good Guy With A Gun"... Well, I won't go off, I will let you watch it perfectly summarized... Best 10:37 I have ever seen on the subject of "Good Guy With A Gun".
This being Texas, and having lived here for the majority of my life (Yes, I vomited inside my mouth a little when I typed that), I can honestly say that some of the worst drivers and traffic can be found in this state.
I have made the trip from Dallas to Austin in 4.5 hours. The last EIGHT FUCKING MILES took 1.5 hours. I am seriously thankful that I was NOT armed.
This leads to the aforementioned Darwinism In Effect lives. Fender benders between vehicle operators who both happened to be armed will not end in the exchange of insurance information, but rather an exchange of bullets. "DRAW!".... Hey... That would make a catchy blog title... On it!
We have too many assclowns who want to be "The Hero"... Played "Call of Duty III" on "Expert Level"... So... They know what they would do! Some of them WANT there to be a situation... These people are the ones who scare me the most. We will just call them "Zimmermans"
Who is in the right if two people licensed to open carry don't like the looks of each other... And they decide that the other one is not supposed to have that weapon... Can two people "Stand Their Ground" and shoot each other? HERE'S HOPING!
What happens when Muslims get the proper paperwork and start open carrying? How wonderful will all the gun toting assholes find it then?
The Cops
Yesterday was "Law Officer Appreciation Day". No thanks... I don't trust cops at all. Last thing I want to do is try to run up and hug one... Well, my being white, I could maybe get away with it... If I weren't, the best case scenario is a nice tazing.
With the open carry coming into effect... And an already pussified cadre of officers... I can see NO good coming of this.
I call them "pussified" because apparently it is open season and a fucking free for all for cops if they "feel in danger of their lives". Well, excuse me all to hell, THAT IS PART OF THE DAMN JOB. If you want to be honored, and revered for your job then stop being a pussy... What bullshit excuse do you get to use when a 13 year old girl won't leave a classroom?
Yeah... This asshole deserves to be appreciated.
Regardless of your stance on cops, you would have to classify them as "on edge", given the current climate. Cops have a tendency to shoot UNARMED peeps these days... The last thing I would want to do is to give them any MORE reason to shoot me.
And Gawd forbid they try a fucking non lethal option... They are aware those exist, right?
The Signs
Businesses wishing to maintain a semblance of sanity, by denying Rambo-Wanna-Be's admittance, must have this sign at all entry points:
There are about 4 or 5 rules... Letter height, contrasting colors... But it makes me feel good to know that sign making companies were getting massive orders for these signs.
I personally would leave a place of business if I saw a person open carrying. If I were grocery shopping, I would leave my cart and exit. If I were eating a meal, I would get up from the table and leave - finishing my Jack N Coke first... I am not wasteful...
I would stop by the manager's office and tell them that I do not feel safe because there is a person with a gun and no badge in their store.
A friend of mine thought it would be very silly for a business owner to place this sign in his establishment. Thinking that it would be an invitation for criminals. My thought was this... It never says that the owner of said business can't be packing...
_____________________________________
We have a system in place that has failed. "You can't stop the criminals from getting guns." True... So we should just not do anything... That got a lot of Americans killed last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. Let's not take into account that crimes rates across the board have been dropping in recent years. No... That would be damning to the "Protection" and "Self Defense" aspects of firearms.
I know a lot of people have guns for that aspect alone. I can understand it. I will NEVER understand the arsenal mentality. I will NEVER understand the adoration for and glorification of them. Until we can cure that... We will always have a gun problem in this country.
I do find solace in the fact that it will no longer take a large truck to know who is compensating in the Lone Star State.
Instant karma's gonna get you,
d
This blog brought to you by Van Halen, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, Type O Negative, The Cars, The Toadies, Nirvana, B.B. King, Dethklok, Megadeth, Korn, Doobie Brothers, Whitesnake, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Beck, and John Lennon and the Plastic Yoko Band.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Shampoo Of The Month Club Subscription, Duh
Greetings, exulted one.
The title of this blog is in direct response to the query posited by the song from the 1980 album, "Christmas in the Stars", "What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (Who Already Owns a Comb)". Of course, a true Alpha Geek, like myself would know the answer to be "Nothing, Wookies celebrate Life Day. It is a call to return to Kashyyyk every three years for all Wookies"... But I digress.
In 5 days, I will embark on a quest, a sojourn of the soul, to see a piece of cinema called "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" with my father. He took me to see the first one back in 78... Well, it was at a drive in, and it was a "pay one price for a car load" deal, so... It was me, and 21 cousins... Remember clowns cars, where clowns keep plopping out? Yeah... something like that.
My history with the Wars starts then. I remember seeing the movie and then seeing plastic representations of the characters in the toy aisle... I did not want them... No... I NEEDED THEM... That one vehicle that was in two frames in Mos Eisley? My life was incomplete until I possessed it.
Did my pillowcase need to have X-Wings on it??? No... But somehow I slept better knowing I had full air support.
The family moved in 1979 from Michigan to Texas. It was a big deal. I was stupid young and everything was new. The first friends I made, guess what we bonded over? You damn right, "Star Wars". Many an afternoon, many a recess, was spent playing Star Wars. Not a video game, no... Actually running around with motorcycle helmets and blankets as capes...
See? (Yes... That is me... 1981... Don't judge!)
When I was old enough to know what money was, but before I knew I did not like sharing my money... I found ten bucks. Mom said "Would you like to go see a movie?"
"Fuck yeah, Mom", replied the 7 year old me! It was probably more along the lines of "Golly gee, that would be swell." It is difficult for me to remember a time when "fuck" was not part of my vocabulary... I refer to that time as "The Something Was Missing Era", and Mom refers to it as "Ages 5-8".
So, the family got in the car, stood IN LINE, to see a film called "The Empire Strikes Back". I believe it was the first time I was introduced to the concept of a "sequel"... This was before aintitcool.com and a dozen other internet sites devoted themselves to giving you every detail about a movie, before it comes out.
Little did I know that my 10 bucks paid for my family (ALL 5 OF US!!!), to see said movie. I learned an important lesson... Money found is to be pocketed.
I remember biking up to Redbird Mall in Duncanville to catch "Return of The Jedi". The place was packed... Everyone was digging it... Han Solo is getting thawed from the carbonite annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... The film melts.
My first thought was, "Special effects have improved a lot!"
My second thought was, "Fuckity fuck fuck...There is going to be a fucking riot any fucking second and I am going to fucking die." (I had discovered "fuck" by then and was getting every bit of mileage out of it. Making up for lost time!)
Flash forward a couple of decades... 1999. I was married to X2, out of the USAF, and in my career of Web Development. Through the miracle of the interwebs, I knew what was coming down the pike.
I went and saw "The Waterboy", IN THE THEATERS, JUST to see the trailer for "Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I remember the gents at work the next day, asking about it... and me stammering... "a dude... all devil looking had a FUCKING DOUBLE BLADED LIGHTSABER!!!"
I don't remember a lot of hoopla around "Attack of The Clones"... more of a, "Well... I might as well..." type of operation.
Now, "Episode III", I had heard it was going to get dark... I do remember the entire SkillsNET team running out and seeing it together...
Needless to say... I am looking forward to Friday, December 18th, 2015. In a big way. It has been 32 some odd years since I have seen the Millennium Falcon fly... And yes, in the first trailer for Episode VII, when it does show up... I teared up. And I fully represented my greek cred by noticing the new, more square radar array on top... Because as EVERYONE knows, the original radar array was lost when Lando Calrissian was piloting the Falcon into the bowels of second Death Star, NOT to be confused with the first Death Star, destroyed at the Battle of Yavin... Sorry... I get excitable.
The original trilogy taught me a metric fuck tonne of life lessons...
Recognizing The Bad Guy: When Darth Vader showed up on the Blockade Runner at 4 minutes and 34 seconds of Epidode IV, there was ZERO FUCKING DOUBT in my 5 year old brain, "That there is the villian."
Love: At some point in your life, you have to respond to someone saying "I love you" with, "I know." And do NOT kiss your brother, even if it is to make a scruffy looking nerf herder jealous.
Dying: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you could possibly imagine"
Slave outfits, in the Golden Bikini Arena: Hells. Yes. (And a special shout out to Athena!)
I have often compared my Mom to Yoda. She was a big fan of the little green dude. She would quote him to me in order to make me understand... And it would usually work. And while I appreciated seeing him be a badass in the prequels... Frank Oz gave him SOUL... He was more alive (and a better actor) than 90% of the real people in the prequels...
May the force be with you,
d
This blog brought to you by The Cult, The Beatles, P.O.D., Beck, Stone Temple Pilots, Loverboy, Aerosmith, Marilyn Manson, America, Anthrax, A Perfect Circle, Grunttruck, Vanilla Fudge, Judas Priest, Foo Fighters, and John Williams doing the "Imperial March", BOOYA!
The title of this blog is in direct response to the query posited by the song from the 1980 album, "Christmas in the Stars", "What Can You Get A Wookie For Christmas (Who Already Owns a Comb)". Of course, a true Alpha Geek, like myself would know the answer to be "Nothing, Wookies celebrate Life Day. It is a call to return to Kashyyyk every three years for all Wookies"... But I digress.
In 5 days, I will embark on a quest, a sojourn of the soul, to see a piece of cinema called "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" with my father. He took me to see the first one back in 78... Well, it was at a drive in, and it was a "pay one price for a car load" deal, so... It was me, and 21 cousins... Remember clowns cars, where clowns keep plopping out? Yeah... something like that.
My history with the Wars starts then. I remember seeing the movie and then seeing plastic representations of the characters in the toy aisle... I did not want them... No... I NEEDED THEM... That one vehicle that was in two frames in Mos Eisley? My life was incomplete until I possessed it.
Did my pillowcase need to have X-Wings on it??? No... But somehow I slept better knowing I had full air support.
The family moved in 1979 from Michigan to Texas. It was a big deal. I was stupid young and everything was new. The first friends I made, guess what we bonded over? You damn right, "Star Wars". Many an afternoon, many a recess, was spent playing Star Wars. Not a video game, no... Actually running around with motorcycle helmets and blankets as capes...
 |
| "I am the coolest mother fucker... EVER" |
See? (Yes... That is me... 1981... Don't judge!)
When I was old enough to know what money was, but before I knew I did not like sharing my money... I found ten bucks. Mom said "Would you like to go see a movie?"
"Fuck yeah, Mom", replied the 7 year old me! It was probably more along the lines of "Golly gee, that would be swell." It is difficult for me to remember a time when "fuck" was not part of my vocabulary... I refer to that time as "The Something Was Missing Era", and Mom refers to it as "Ages 5-8".
So, the family got in the car, stood IN LINE, to see a film called "The Empire Strikes Back". I believe it was the first time I was introduced to the concept of a "sequel"... This was before aintitcool.com and a dozen other internet sites devoted themselves to giving you every detail about a movie, before it comes out.
Little did I know that my 10 bucks paid for my family (ALL 5 OF US!!!), to see said movie. I learned an important lesson... Money found is to be pocketed.
I remember biking up to Redbird Mall in Duncanville to catch "Return of The Jedi". The place was packed... Everyone was digging it... Han Solo is getting thawed from the carbonite annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... The film melts.
My first thought was, "Special effects have improved a lot!"
My second thought was, "Fuckity fuck fuck...There is going to be a fucking riot any fucking second and I am going to fucking die." (I had discovered "fuck" by then and was getting every bit of mileage out of it. Making up for lost time!)
Flash forward a couple of decades... 1999. I was married to X2, out of the USAF, and in my career of Web Development. Through the miracle of the interwebs, I knew what was coming down the pike.
I went and saw "The Waterboy", IN THE THEATERS, JUST to see the trailer for "Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I remember the gents at work the next day, asking about it... and me stammering... "a dude... all devil looking had a FUCKING DOUBLE BLADED LIGHTSABER!!!"
I don't remember a lot of hoopla around "Attack of The Clones"... more of a, "Well... I might as well..." type of operation.
Now, "Episode III", I had heard it was going to get dark... I do remember the entire SkillsNET team running out and seeing it together...
Needless to say... I am looking forward to Friday, December 18th, 2015. In a big way. It has been 32 some odd years since I have seen the Millennium Falcon fly... And yes, in the first trailer for Episode VII, when it does show up... I teared up. And I fully represented my greek cred by noticing the new, more square radar array on top... Because as EVERYONE knows, the original radar array was lost when Lando Calrissian was piloting the Falcon into the bowels of second Death Star, NOT to be confused with the first Death Star, destroyed at the Battle of Yavin... Sorry... I get excitable.
___________________________
Recognizing The Bad Guy: When Darth Vader showed up on the Blockade Runner at 4 minutes and 34 seconds of Epidode IV, there was ZERO FUCKING DOUBT in my 5 year old brain, "That there is the villian."
Love: At some point in your life, you have to respond to someone saying "I love you" with, "I know." And do NOT kiss your brother, even if it is to make a scruffy looking nerf herder jealous.
Dying: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you could possibly imagine"
Slave outfits, in the Golden Bikini Arena: Hells. Yes. (And a special shout out to Athena!)
I have often compared my Mom to Yoda. She was a big fan of the little green dude. She would quote him to me in order to make me understand... And it would usually work. And while I appreciated seeing him be a badass in the prequels... Frank Oz gave him SOUL... He was more alive (and a better actor) than 90% of the real people in the prequels...
May the force be with you,
d
This blog brought to you by The Cult, The Beatles, P.O.D., Beck, Stone Temple Pilots, Loverboy, Aerosmith, Marilyn Manson, America, Anthrax, A Perfect Circle, Grunttruck, Vanilla Fudge, Judas Priest, Foo Fighters, and John Williams doing the "Imperial March", BOOYA!
Sunday, December 6, 2015
I'll Take What's Behind Door #3
We are coming up on an election year... So, a year ago, people started running for office. Well, they started skirting the idea... forming exploratory committees. Jeb Bush being the master at this. He did not announce for quite a while... and here is why...
When you announce, you can't really talk to the big money donors and PACs anymore... in public, anyways.
That is another blog... No, this one is about decisions. The country is facing a rather large number of perplexing dilemmas.
Right out of the gate... Do we love the Constitution or not?
Silly question... OR IS IT??????????? Down the road a spell, in Irving, there were armed assholes marching in front of a mosque. They claim they were enforcing their 2nd Amendment rights... by infringing on others 1st Amendment rights?
Gun People - You wanna walk around with a shirt with the 2nd Amendment on it... Do it period correct... Instead of your AR-15, with penile compensating laser site, penile compensating 100 round drum mag, penile compensating improved gas return system, penile compensating flash suppressor, and penile compensating folding bi-pod, walk around with a flintlock long rifle.
Facebook, about twice a year, will be inundated with the memes calling for the drug testing of people receiving government assistance. 4th Amendment is up for grabs also... Nice.
A lot of the people who cite the Constitution, with an almost sacred reverence, will, in the same breath, speak of some action that directly conflicts with another part of the same document.
What makes me believe it a great piece of our foundation is the old white dudes in charge back then said... "We are bad asses and all, but we don't know shit about what's coming, so... I mean, we are still shitting outdoors and pissing into buckets in the corner!!! Let's give the people a way to CHANGE this document. I mean, slavery? It's cool now, because... ya know... We are doing this 'Make a Country' thing... We can't be bothered with manual labor... What are we? Amish?"
So... Do we love the Constitution? I do... Just needs some updating and people need some educating.
Next up... Who is to blame?
Fox "News", for the past three years, has been known as the "BBC"... Standing for "Benghazi, Blame Clinton"... The overriding narrative is that ol' Hillary killed 2 out of the 4 Americans herself...
Now, disregarding the fact that two Republican representatives have admitted that all the hearings that have called on the former Secretary of State to testify were political in nature, it seems that the witch hunt was partially successful.
A large number of Americans simply don't trust Hillary Clinton. She is the figurehead of the whole awful mess. She was the Sec. of State at the time... So... it was her responsibility... Head Honcho... It was her fault.
Mmmkay, Pum-kin... By that logic... Ex Retarded Cowboy President George "W is for War Criminal' Bush Jr. is solely responsible for 9/11. Why are their not hearings and committees with his ass in the hot seat? It was his responsibility. Head Honcho. It was his fault. (I about vomited when Jeb "The Smart One" Bush quipped at a debate, "My brother kept us safe.")
I am not the first one to draw this conclusion. I also noticed that when this notion started gaining some tread, the Benghazi rhetoric pretty much dried up and... died... quietly...
So... If you want to blame someone... Take a long look at the source of the finger pointing. Good chance, they have an ax to grind somewhere. Who's to blame?
Now... on a ligher note... Guns or Mental Health?
Since the NRA has politicians bought or scared, and the number of mass shootings is becoming so incomprehensible, that the numbness - the "common place" attitude - towards them is as sickening as the act itself... What is gonna have to happen before something gets done?
And since it CAN NOT be a "gun problem"... it has to be a "mental health" issue. Well, then... DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH!!!
I saw a video this morning, a "pastor" was claiming that since the guns in the San Bernadino shooting were bought legally, and California has strict gun laws... The "system" was working. I have 14 dead and 21 wounded who would beg to differ. Well... 21 will beg to differ. 14 would just beg to not be dead.
FUCKED UP SIDE NOTE - In the previous paragraph, I was gonna say "this week's mass shooting"... And the thought hit me... "I am gonna have to be more specific". THAT is fucked up, friends.
It was from a "pastor", so I take it with a grain of salt... "it" being anything spoken by him.
The claims and buzzwords of "terrorism", "Muslim", "ISIS", "Islamist Extremists" were bandied about... and I waited... and waited... Then, bam... "What was their mental state..."
Gee, people did a completely heinous act... Let's try to understand it... Sorry, kids, and Nietzsche...
"If you gaze for long enough in to the abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you."
You are not going to change the abyss... But lets not give the fucking abyss access to an AK-47.
We have to, HAVE to, either do something about guns or crazy fuckers. Something tells me there is no shortage of, and will ALWAYS BE crazy fuckers... so... What is left in the goddamned equation??????
Are you Pro Life or just Pro Birth?
Protest and try to close Planned Parenthood all ya like, but then you damn well better not cut social programs that help struggling mothers who were FORCED to have the fucking kid.
This week another "pastor" said that is was time that Planned Parenthood people should run and hide. From what, Mr. "man of god"? Why should they run and hide? From you and your sheep? You are now in command of the wisdom of your god? It has told you what you should do? I thought your Christ was all "peace and love" and it was them thar "Islams" we had to worry about? Or are you trying to stay "trending"? You make me fucking sick, you fucking cock smoker.
Did you know that the huge drop in crime in the 90's has been attributed in a large part to legal abortions? This is due to women in dire situations NOT having to birth a child that they would not care for, nor love, nor try to make a productive member of society. Elvis, "In the Ghetto", hello?
This blog brought to you by .38 Special, Led Zeppelin, Starland Vocal Band (You damn right it's some "Afternoon Delight"!), Limp Bizkit, Black Sabbath, Collective Soul, Daft Punk, Slipknot, Bryan Adams/Rod Stewart/Sting, The Burden Brothers, Poison, Godsmack, Simon & Garfunkel, Danzig, Janis Joplin, Rodrigo y Gabriella, Marilyn Manson, Beck, and Alice in Chains.
When you announce, you can't really talk to the big money donors and PACs anymore... in public, anyways.
That is another blog... No, this one is about decisions. The country is facing a rather large number of perplexing dilemmas.
Right out of the gate... Do we love the Constitution or not?
Silly question... OR IS IT??????????? Down the road a spell, in Irving, there were armed assholes marching in front of a mosque. They claim they were enforcing their 2nd Amendment rights... by infringing on others 1st Amendment rights?
Gun People - You wanna walk around with a shirt with the 2nd Amendment on it... Do it period correct... Instead of your AR-15, with penile compensating laser site, penile compensating 100 round drum mag, penile compensating improved gas return system, penile compensating flash suppressor, and penile compensating folding bi-pod, walk around with a flintlock long rifle.
Facebook, about twice a year, will be inundated with the memes calling for the drug testing of people receiving government assistance. 4th Amendment is up for grabs also... Nice.
A lot of the people who cite the Constitution, with an almost sacred reverence, will, in the same breath, speak of some action that directly conflicts with another part of the same document.
What makes me believe it a great piece of our foundation is the old white dudes in charge back then said... "We are bad asses and all, but we don't know shit about what's coming, so... I mean, we are still shitting outdoors and pissing into buckets in the corner!!! Let's give the people a way to CHANGE this document. I mean, slavery? It's cool now, because... ya know... We are doing this 'Make a Country' thing... We can't be bothered with manual labor... What are we? Amish?"
So... Do we love the Constitution? I do... Just needs some updating and people need some educating.
Next up... Who is to blame?
Fox "News", for the past three years, has been known as the "BBC"... Standing for "Benghazi, Blame Clinton"... The overriding narrative is that ol' Hillary killed 2 out of the 4 Americans herself...
Now, disregarding the fact that two Republican representatives have admitted that all the hearings that have called on the former Secretary of State to testify were political in nature, it seems that the witch hunt was partially successful.
A large number of Americans simply don't trust Hillary Clinton. She is the figurehead of the whole awful mess. She was the Sec. of State at the time... So... it was her responsibility... Head Honcho... It was her fault.
Mmmkay, Pum-kin... By that logic... Ex Retarded Cowboy President George "W is for War Criminal' Bush Jr. is solely responsible for 9/11. Why are their not hearings and committees with his ass in the hot seat? It was his responsibility. Head Honcho. It was his fault. (I about vomited when Jeb "The Smart One" Bush quipped at a debate, "My brother kept us safe.")
So... If you want to blame someone... Take a long look at the source of the finger pointing. Good chance, they have an ax to grind somewhere. Who's to blame?
Now... on a ligher note... Guns or Mental Health?
Since the NRA has politicians bought or scared, and the number of mass shootings is becoming so incomprehensible, that the numbness - the "common place" attitude - towards them is as sickening as the act itself... What is gonna have to happen before something gets done?
And since it CAN NOT be a "gun problem"... it has to be a "mental health" issue. Well, then... DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH!!!
I saw a video this morning, a "pastor" was claiming that since the guns in the San Bernadino shooting were bought legally, and California has strict gun laws... The "system" was working. I have 14 dead and 21 wounded who would beg to differ. Well... 21 will beg to differ. 14 would just beg to not be dead.
FUCKED UP SIDE NOTE - In the previous paragraph, I was gonna say "this week's mass shooting"... And the thought hit me... "I am gonna have to be more specific". THAT is fucked up, friends.
It was from a "pastor", so I take it with a grain of salt... "it" being anything spoken by him.
The claims and buzzwords of "terrorism", "Muslim", "ISIS", "Islamist Extremists" were bandied about... and I waited... and waited... Then, bam... "What was their mental state..."
Gee, people did a completely heinous act... Let's try to understand it... Sorry, kids, and Nietzsche...
"If you gaze for long enough in to the abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you."
You are not going to change the abyss... But lets not give the fucking abyss access to an AK-47.
We have to, HAVE to, either do something about guns or crazy fuckers. Something tells me there is no shortage of, and will ALWAYS BE crazy fuckers... so... What is left in the goddamned equation??????
Are you Pro Life or just Pro Birth?
Protest and try to close Planned Parenthood all ya like, but then you damn well better not cut social programs that help struggling mothers who were FORCED to have the fucking kid.
This week another "pastor" said that is was time that Planned Parenthood people should run and hide. From what, Mr. "man of god"? Why should they run and hide? From you and your sheep? You are now in command of the wisdom of your god? It has told you what you should do? I thought your Christ was all "peace and love" and it was them thar "Islams" we had to worry about? Or are you trying to stay "trending"? You make me fucking sick, you fucking cock smoker.
Did you know that the huge drop in crime in the 90's has been attributed in a large part to legal abortions? This is due to women in dire situations NOT having to birth a child that they would not care for, nor love, nor try to make a productive member of society. Elvis, "In the Ghetto", hello?
_________________________________
I can't be the only voice. But again... I smell bullshit, I call bullshit.
There are decisions to be made, for sure. There is an election coming up and if you don't make at least one vote, a whole fuck ton of decisions are gonna be made in your name and you will have to live with the consequences.
For the sake of the "f", "u", "c", and "k" keys on my keyboard, get and stay informed so when you DO go to cast your vote, you will at least know why you did so. We can talk about how wrong you were later...
Apathetic, to the stunned,
d
This blog brought to you by .38 Special, Led Zeppelin, Starland Vocal Band (You damn right it's some "Afternoon Delight"!), Limp Bizkit, Black Sabbath, Collective Soul, Daft Punk, Slipknot, Bryan Adams/Rod Stewart/Sting, The Burden Brothers, Poison, Godsmack, Simon & Garfunkel, Danzig, Janis Joplin, Rodrigo y Gabriella, Marilyn Manson, Beck, and Alice in Chains.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
"This Wasn't in the Brochure!"
I usually stick to things that I know or can research... When it comes to parenting, I know Jack and Shit, and Jack just left town.
Research? Forget about it... There are sooooo many topics, so many opinions, a literal fuck ton of stuff written on the subject, that one mind boggles.
Then throw in a divorce. Split, or joint, custody. Full custody with child support. Full custody with a deadbeat ex. Permutations abound...
There are parts of me that lament never spawning. My Mom (HI MOM!) still has a glimmer of hope that I will meet someone tomorrow and, due to my superhuman sperm, that female will squat out a pup in time for Xmas. She has told me repeatedly that I would be a good Dad... (so did some lesbians in Tacoma, but that is another story)
The thought is daunting... Loving something more than me? Seems very implausible...
I dunno... I would have the advantage of being an asshole. Knowing the tricks I had pulled when I was a child... I would be at the disadvantage because when someone tries hurts me, I tend to break it off in their ass and leave them bleeding...
Apparently that style of parenting is "frowned upon".
And let's face it... We all hurt our parents. Sometimes intentionally, mostly the opposite. I was, and still am, guilty of doing so. However, I am able to now understand my actions and let them know that while I am sorry, I am still gonna do what I am gonna do.
I have asked the Folks how they tackled it... According to Mom, "Your Father and I took the things that my parents did that worked, and things that his parents did that worked, and blended them. We also found things that each of our parents did that we swore we would NEVER do."
Key point here kiddies... THEY TALKED THAT SHIT OUT BEFORE PROCREATING!
For example... My Dad did NOT want my Mom to pull the "Wait til your father get's home!" routine. He seriously did not want his coming home to be something his children dreaded. Makes perfect sense. The major downside is that when I got in trouble at school in the days of corporal punishment, I would get my licks from the school official. Come home, Mom would have her go. Dad would get home, and complete the trifecta of "negative reinforcement".
They had a plan. They were a united front... Much to my dismay.
The early years... I have made it 43 years on this planet without having changed a diaper. I can go another 43 and be quite all right with it. I also am not a fan of getting puked, spat, pissed, or shit on...
The teenage years... There would be scars. I see a lot of dollar signs...
The early adulthood... I just see more fucking dollar signs...
Adulthood - They leave... IF you have done your job right.
Then, you die. Unless they do something really, really cool, you pretty much just contributed to the overpopulation of the planet... Don't get me wrong... I am pretty damn happy Dad didn't pull out that one time...
I guess this discussion came from an issue a friend is having with her Ex and their kid. Kid is in single digits. He is a sensitive kid. He went to visit his Dad over the Thanksgiving break. My friend asked about the activities that will be transpiring. When "Shooting guns" was broached, she said, "Um, no. I don't think he is ready for that."
When I was over there for dinner on Thursday, she told me about talking to her son and she asked what had he had been up to... Three guesses on what made the list!
She was not happy. Now... I admit the male "See Problem, Fix Problem" gene kicked in. Stupid me. I did have the wherewithal to preface all my responses with, "Not being a parent and not knowing a damn thing about it, here is how I would reply to the Dad..."
The gun thing is an issue (Upon returning, she asked her son when should a gun be used and got "I don't know", supporting her thought process), but it is more indicative of the lack of cohesive parenting.
Parent A - "I don't want out child doing X."
When child is with Parent A, child does not do X.
Parent B receives child.
Parent A informs Parent B stance on X.
Parent B lets kid fucking do X.
Parent A is gonna find out... WTF? Do you think you WON'T hear about it??? Use ya head, Parent B!
I asked her, "How long after you get your son back does it take to 'deprogram' him from the Dads influence?"
The massive eyeroll and grimace was answer enough.
X3 was my first real exposure to children. I am fully aware that "Step-Children" is not the same thing... So... Save your breath...
The father of my two step daughters remarried. The lady had a young son. She said that she wanted her husband's daughters to call her "Mom"... X3 took a "vehement" stance against that. Something something, "better not call that fucking cunt 'Mom'!"
"But, it will confuse my littlemistake son with them calling me 'Prudence'!"*
How the fuck is that the biological mother's concern? I would have never even brought forth the idea of the daughters calling me 'Dad'. If they did call me 'Dad', I think the shudder of revulsion would have put a stop to it real quick like...
X3 and I had our differences when it came to parenting as well... I disciplined the eldest step kid once... And X3 told me I would not do it again. I pretty much checked out on the "contributing to the raising of a productive member of society" right then and there. Eldest didn't like me because I knew how she cheated at dominoes and let her know that I knew... Good times.
"Oh, it is so rewarding..."
"Um, you have puke on your shoulder. Your breast is leaking. You look like you have not slept since the last Space Shuttle was launched. You put wine in that baby bottle. Your baby has a face that a pug who kissed a running lawnmower blade would vomit at. Your baby also has had a loaded diaper for at least 20 minutes and it is beginning to leak. You poor, poor soul."
My hats off to parents... It is a shit job. Mostly thankless. I am reminded of a long con... Taking about 27 years for any sort of payoff...
My Mom has said that I was a good kid, a) My Mom is an optimist. 2) I got away with a lot of shit she didn't know about (Skip this part, Mom). D) It is me we are talking about!
Lunatic fringe,
d
* Name changed to protect fucking cunt's identity.
This blog was brought to you by the Screaming Trees, Dethklok, Deftones, Steve Vai, Garbage, Stone Temple Pilots, Van Halen, Jimi Hendrix Experience, the Orleans, The Presidents of The United States Of America, Rag Against The Machine, Donovan, The Dust Brothers, Daft Punk, ELO, and Red Rider.
Research? Forget about it... There are sooooo many topics, so many opinions, a literal fuck ton of stuff written on the subject, that one mind boggles.
Then throw in a divorce. Split, or joint, custody. Full custody with child support. Full custody with a deadbeat ex. Permutations abound...
There are parts of me that lament never spawning. My Mom (HI MOM!) still has a glimmer of hope that I will meet someone tomorrow and, due to my superhuman sperm, that female will squat out a pup in time for Xmas. She has told me repeatedly that I would be a good Dad... (so did some lesbians in Tacoma, but that is another story)
The thought is daunting... Loving something more than me? Seems very implausible...
I dunno... I would have the advantage of being an asshole. Knowing the tricks I had pulled when I was a child... I would be at the disadvantage because when someone tries hurts me, I tend to break it off in their ass and leave them bleeding...
Apparently that style of parenting is "frowned upon".
And let's face it... We all hurt our parents. Sometimes intentionally, mostly the opposite. I was, and still am, guilty of doing so. However, I am able to now understand my actions and let them know that while I am sorry, I am still gonna do what I am gonna do.
I have asked the Folks how they tackled it... According to Mom, "Your Father and I took the things that my parents did that worked, and things that his parents did that worked, and blended them. We also found things that each of our parents did that we swore we would NEVER do."
Key point here kiddies... THEY TALKED THAT SHIT OUT BEFORE PROCREATING!
For example... My Dad did NOT want my Mom to pull the "Wait til your father get's home!" routine. He seriously did not want his coming home to be something his children dreaded. Makes perfect sense. The major downside is that when I got in trouble at school in the days of corporal punishment, I would get my licks from the school official. Come home, Mom would have her go. Dad would get home, and complete the trifecta of "negative reinforcement".
They had a plan. They were a united front... Much to my dismay.
The teenage years... There would be scars. I see a lot of dollar signs...
The early adulthood... I just see more fucking dollar signs...
Adulthood - They leave... IF you have done your job right.
Then, you die. Unless they do something really, really cool, you pretty much just contributed to the overpopulation of the planet... Don't get me wrong... I am pretty damn happy Dad didn't pull out that one time...
I guess this discussion came from an issue a friend is having with her Ex and their kid. Kid is in single digits. He is a sensitive kid. He went to visit his Dad over the Thanksgiving break. My friend asked about the activities that will be transpiring. When "Shooting guns" was broached, she said, "Um, no. I don't think he is ready for that."
When I was over there for dinner on Thursday, she told me about talking to her son and she asked what had he had been up to... Three guesses on what made the list!
She was not happy. Now... I admit the male "See Problem, Fix Problem" gene kicked in. Stupid me. I did have the wherewithal to preface all my responses with, "Not being a parent and not knowing a damn thing about it, here is how I would reply to the Dad..."
The gun thing is an issue (Upon returning, she asked her son when should a gun be used and got "I don't know", supporting her thought process), but it is more indicative of the lack of cohesive parenting.
Parent A - "I don't want out child doing X."
When child is with Parent A, child does not do X.
Parent B receives child.
Parent A informs Parent B stance on X.
Parent B lets kid fucking do X.
Parent A is gonna find out... WTF? Do you think you WON'T hear about it??? Use ya head, Parent B!
I asked her, "How long after you get your son back does it take to 'deprogram' him from the Dads influence?"
The massive eyeroll and grimace was answer enough.
X3 was my first real exposure to children. I am fully aware that "Step-Children" is not the same thing... So... Save your breath...
The father of my two step daughters remarried. The lady had a young son. She said that she wanted her husband's daughters to call her "Mom"... X3 took a "vehement" stance against that. Something something, "better not call that fucking cunt 'Mom'!"
"But, it will confuse my little
How the fuck is that the biological mother's concern? I would have never even brought forth the idea of the daughters calling me 'Dad'. If they did call me 'Dad', I think the shudder of revulsion would have put a stop to it real quick like...
X3 and I had our differences when it came to parenting as well... I disciplined the eldest step kid once... And X3 told me I would not do it again. I pretty much checked out on the "contributing to the raising of a productive member of society" right then and there. Eldest didn't like me because I knew how she cheated at dominoes and let her know that I knew... Good times.
__________________________
"Um, you have puke on your shoulder. Your breast is leaking. You look like you have not slept since the last Space Shuttle was launched. You put wine in that baby bottle. Your baby has a face that a pug who kissed a running lawnmower blade would vomit at. Your baby also has had a loaded diaper for at least 20 minutes and it is beginning to leak. You poor, poor soul."
My hats off to parents... It is a shit job. Mostly thankless. I am reminded of a long con... Taking about 27 years for any sort of payoff...
My Mom has said that I was a good kid, a) My Mom is an optimist. 2) I got away with a lot of shit she didn't know about (Skip this part, Mom). D) It is me we are talking about!
Lunatic fringe,
d
* Name changed to protect fucking cunt's identity.
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Sunday, November 22, 2015
(All Lives (Matter) of Convenience)
July? Really? Damn... Been a spell... More on that further down...
First, hashtags are mostly stupid and do nothing but try and sum up an already abbreviated thought. One had come to prominence, kind of reminding people that the lives of African American people matter.
This was in response to the seemingly never ending barrage of a certain race of people getting straight up murdered by police.
In response, instead of addressing the problem, or even fucking acknowledging the 800% more likelihood that if you are black and unarmed, you will be shot by a police officer than if you are white and unarmed, someone had the bright idea of coming up with #alllivesmatter. Oh, by the by... That "800%" number is not a joke or made up.
So... all lives matter? To whom?
There is a cult, very active in America these days, that believe that a microscopic bundle of dividing cells is "life". They are very adamant about protecting this cluster, which is sacred and deserves full protection of the Law! Now, why they don't feel the same way about cancer is beyond me... It too is a small cluster of dividing cells...
This cult has lobbied for and won the favor of major political figures who hold office and are currently seeking HIGHER office. Using misinformation, false statistics and outright fraudulent lies, this cult and it's minions have done irreparable damage to Planned Parenthood.
The political party most swayed by this cult is also big on getting rid of the "entitlement class" and "takers". Those people on welfare... Those people who get assistance from the government programs designed to help those in need...
So... All lives matter when they are in the womb.... After that... not so much?
This week at work, the TV in the break room was showing the plight of Syrian refugees... I also saw a picture of a little child holding it's hands up in surrender because the camera looked like a gun and all she knew to do was surrender. It was deeply saddening.
My co-workers were grumbling about the refugees better steer clear of Texas!
I asked, "Since France is accepting refugees, LESS THAN A FUCKING WEEK after the most devastating attack SINCE WWFUCKINGII, should we send the Statue of Liberty back to them?"
"Damn, Dougie."
Yes... Damn me... I guess all lives matter, as long as the geography suites you.
The GOP nominations for the Presidency have taken umbrage with the President for telling them that they are "irresponsible" for their stance on the refugee crisis.
One Mike Huckabee has said that he would allow only the "Christian refugees" passage and safe harbor... Um, Huckster... When "Reality" comes around and rips your face off, and blows your mind through the back your head, please let it be televised...
If you were in line... to get into a sanctuary... and the gatekeepers are asking "Are you Muslim or Christian?" and they are only letting people who say "Christian" into the promised land... Word will spread down the line pretty damn quick...
The retort from one Ted "Billionaire Blower" Cruz has been, "If you want to insult me, do it to my face."
Ted, boobala, I will give you my address. I would unleash a load of semen, unprecedented in the annals of world history, if I got the chance to insult you to your face. Sperm whales would be renamed Dougie Whales.
I will ask why you, and two other GOP candidates, attended an "event" where the "pastor" who introduced you to the crowd, had just ranted and preached that gay people should be executed.
Again... All lives matter as long as they believe in the same imaginary friend as you?
Oh... And all lives matter as long as they fuck who YOU think they should fuck?
I guess the fully amended hashtag should be: #alllivesmatterdependingonthechronolgyoflifeandgeographyandwhatinvisibefriendtheytalktoandfuckthepeopleyouthinktheyshouldfuckaslongasitisonlyformakingbabieswhoarethenontheirownwithnohelp.
_______________________________
I guess it was a culmination of things. Jon Stewart is gone. John Oliver is fucking crushing it every week. I also think with the rise in polls of Carson and Trump... I think America is in the "post-intelligence" phase.
I know people who I think are decent human beings. I also think these people should not be allowed to contaminate the gene pool, or vote.
It was all of those things that led me to a "lull"... A "If the rest of the world don't give a fuck (like Janice in Accounting), why should I?
I then thought back to one of the last segments, on the last show of the aforementioned Stewart...
*Sniff*. *Sniff*.
Yup... There it is... I gotta call bullshit.
Cruise your new baby fly self,
d
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