So, I find the place... One bar seems to blend into another after a while. Did it have tables? Check? A long horizontal plane in which one can sit and order drinks? Check. A bar...
I find a table, and am just settling in and she walks in. If I were a weaker man, I would be leveled. We go through the awkwardness of handshake vs. hug...
When we are both seated, it begins... The small talk. I am amazed, and captivated by the ease of it. It does not seem forced. It also does not seem rote or old hat. The waitress takes our orders, and I am so enthralled with the woman sitting across from me, I could not tell you if the waitress had a third breast on her forehead.
Her face... it is an amalgamation of features that I have find attractive. It is as if her eyes change colors with her smile, or a furrowed brow.
Normally, if I am this attracted to a date, I find it slightly difficult to focus on the topics of conversation. Not this night, however. I am hanging on her every word. I am also taken aback by the fact that I am not just waiting for my turn to talk, but actually listening to her.
I have been known to nervously blather on, during an initial date... But I am totally at ease... Comfortable. I remark to her about this fact, and she agrees. We are now aware of the ease at which we converse. While acknowledging an ease like that can make it evaporate just as quickly... it doesn't tonight... It increases it...
In the first five minutes, she broke the "fuck" barrier. I always let the lady curse first... That way I know whether or not she is offended by such language... I appreciate her not making me wait too fucking long.
In the course of discourse, one of us makes a joke... Something witty and clever, that the other one then plays off of... Before we know it, we have our own little private joke, that we both know will be a favorite story of ours - in our possible future.
The atmosphere is perfect, the background noise is a droning hustle and bustle one associates with a bar. There is music... We each, at different moments, pick the song out of the air and comment on the story behind our adoration of it.
I am not upset when we get into a rather heated debate... I forget the topic... I just know that I am not angry or mad that she "challenges" my thinking on it... I am forced to reevaluate my position. Normally, if I am challenged, the person is just a colossal fucktard, and I move on. Nope... She has made a solid argument, and I must admit to her having an actual point. Shit.
As the second round of drinks magically appear, I can't help but feel the liquid courage doing it's job. The conversation becomes charged with innuendo. I get a smile from her that would make Satan himself say "I need to learn how to smile like THAT..."
We both want and don't want to lead the conversation down that path. We both get the feeling that this is the beginning of something, not "special", but "more"... and now comes the "don't jinx it" by talking about this or that... A little wink wink nudge nudge...
She gets up to use the ladies room, and I am more than happy to watch as she walks away. As the artist Robert Williams once said, "A woman's ass is more beautiful than the Orion Nebula..." Well, here's me - sans telescope, but I am a believer, and share that opinion.
She comes back, and sits down... I feel a little out of sorts... Two drinks? Really? Why am I having trouble concentrating?
She sits down, looks me directly in eyes, and says, "I could feel your eyes on me a*meh*s I walked away. I just wanted you to *meh meh* that I really d*meh meh meh*idn't mind... Do you want to go back to your pl*meh meh meh meh meh*"
This is when I realize my alarm is going off and I wake up...
_______________________________________
I ran this idea by my editor in chief, previewer of content, also known as "Mom"... She warned me not to make it too specific as it could scare off any potential dates...
I informed her that I would most definitely include the clause stating that while this is a "dream scenario", I am well aware that there would be no side of the table providing "perfection".
A first date is awkward. A first date is akin to a job interview... You dread it, but it is never as bad as you think it will be, and you usually come away knowing one way or the other how you did. You also go over every question and answer... Trying to see where you might have opened ass, inserted head.
Funny story... In the middle of writing this blog... I received a phone call and after some brilliant conversation (1 hour, 42 minutes worth), I actually have a date... I realize that this person has a choice of what she wants to do with her free time, and she has chosen it to spend some of it with me. That is pretty cool, and I AM contemplating a myriad of possibilities. Universe got jokes, yo.
But I'm gonna wave my freak flag high, high,
d
This blog brought to you by Filter, Down, Stereophonics, Tool, Jimi Hendrix Experience*, 1000 Homo DJs, Iron Butterfly, Nirvana, The Beatles, Marilyn Manson, and The Foo Fighters.
* The asterisk will denote which artist lyrically provided the send off line...
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