No... Everybody, and I mean everybody, answers to somebody.
"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
Mom and Dad are usually the first people we answer to. In my case it was the two of them. The indivisible front. You could not "divide and conquer" them, which was problematic in the teen years. The folks are the ones who should set boundaries and limits. It is not until one is older that you realize that it was for your own well being. Because when you are young, you are ignorant. Some of us grow out of it... Others... Well, where do you think Republicans come from?
There was an experiment done at a new school. The recess yard was an open field. Some sprinkled playground equipment here and there. The kids would mostly huddle by the door. If teachers would go to a piece of equipment, the kids would utilize it. The next year, a fence was erected around the equipment and a ways out from the building. The kids would scatter and be found in every corner, every square inch, of the fenced in area.
Kids need and WANT boundaries. They thrive within them... Within REASON. You can smother a kid with them as well...
Having a mother who had witchy powers like I did (She was born on Friday the 13th for fuck's sake), I knew who was boss. I pushed the limits for the majority of my formative years, but I also knew when playtime was over. I can now walk through a mall and point out which parents have won the battle of wills, and which parents have lost the battle of wills.
There is, of course, the over compensation to worry about. I have seen parents who I would consider abusive, not physically, but emotionally and mentally... Those aren't parents, they are wardens.
"Who?"
A lot of people answer to a "higher power". I tried and got tired of getting nothing back. If a absentee deity works for you, enjoy your one sided convo. I will enjoy porn and bacon without having to ask forgiveness.
"Bueller? Bueller?"
Educators have a shitty, shitty job. There is no other way to put it... Every grade represents a unique set of challenges.
Kindergarten, the kids want to go home and do not understand this concentration camp that has usurped their cartoon watching... And who is this large person telling me that I have to take a nap. Only Mom tells me to. WTF? Oh... Graham crackers and milk? Well, you make a good argument...
1st - 4th Grades... Kids start developing personalities. In other words, assholes and bitches appear. In the later grades, they also start learning that teachers have limitations... This does not bode well. 5th grade is usually the last of the elementary grades. These kids know the terrain. They are the big dogs.
6th grade, the rules change... WTF happened to Recess??? What do you mean we are not exchanging Valentine Cards??? I saved and decorated this shoe box for nothing? This place sucks!!!!
7th and 8th grade... Boys notice girls. Girls notice boys. Whole new ballgame. Teachers say this is where kids lose their way... More so that boys become preoccupied with boobs, girls with shoes...
High School - Kids are so fed up with everybody always telling them what to do, it is at a tipping point. Hormones raging, the feeling of knowing everything, and the innate, human yearning for independence are the ingredients for a run of the mill teenager... Who will proclaim with vehemence the "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!!"... Except everyone who has been there. They do get so pissy when you laugh at them.
The inspiration for this week's blog came from an old memory. An ex-Neice in Law, X2 (Second ex-wife) Clan I believe, was having trouble at school. Her mom asked me to talk to her. "Why me?". "She thinks you are the least grown up grown up." I could not argue that logic.
"What is the problem, kid?"
"My teachers are soooo stupid."
"Little doofus, I say this with the utmost sincerity... You will encounter people in positions of authority over you that are complete fucking morons for the majority of your life. These people will determine if you get PAID!!! YOU have to learn how to deal with them. Think of school as your free education in how to play the system and deal with the phalanx of idiocy you with, without fail, encounter."
"Would you like fries with that?"
In your life, I would hope that you have had what I like to call "Process of Elimination Jobs". I worked as a dishwasher, and soon discovered that there was no way in hell I wanted to be a dishwasher for the rest of my life. I worked in a lumber yard... And I discovered that, while a hellacious workout, it was a young man's game.
At these jobs, there are these people. These people have a slew of different titles... Manager. Supervisor. Senior Associate. Craig. The names and faces change, but there are the archetypes of bosses you have to answer to... Here are a few examples:
1) The Higher-Up Pleaser. This person could not give one shit about you. They usually will let you know it. You are meat for their grinder, to grease the wheels of their meteoric rise up the ranks. Do your job, but understand that any going above and beyond will be co-opted by this douche. It was their doing... Not yours.
2) The Drill Sergeant. This job is their life. How can it not be yours as well??? Any discrepancy will be considered as a personal affront to them. The paycheck should be seen as a vulgarity, because the WORK is reward, in and of itself. These people are three flavors of bat shit crazy.
3) The Short Timer. This boss has already checked out. It will be the most fun job you will have. Ever. Sadly... When the short timer does leave, they are usually replaced by one of the types already listed.
4) The Owner. Owners fall into a couple of subcategories. The owner who has a thriving business, and the struggling owner. Struggling owners resemble #2... but you can understand because it IS their life... Thriving types are pretty laid back, and can't be a #1, because they ARE the higher up. If they do it right, you will feel compelled to help them out, because you feel like it will help you out in the long run. Or they are going to completely fuck you, squarely in the ass. Been there, done that. Best of luck!
One thing I noticed when in the USAF, which is a whole other blog on "authority"... is the adherence to the "Chain of Command". I found if you took action without consulting your immediate superior, two outcomes were possible. If said action made your immediate superior look good, you showed "initiative". If said action made the immediate superior look bad, you "went outside the chain of command, maggot."
"Did you skip 'obey', Padre?"
If you are human, you will probably seek out another person to swap fluids with. This person will make you feel good... until they don't... That is why the word "NEXT!" was invented...
If you are in an exclusive, committed relationship, you SHOULD answer to your significant other. That does NOT mean you have to call them at lunch when in line at JJ's to ask them what kind of sandwich you want. This has transpired. In front of me. I wanted to ask the guy what color was the purse his wife kept his balls in. Does he get to see them every once and a while?
A relationship works well when you, confronted with a decision that could possibly effect the life of your significant other, TALK TO YOUR PARTNER! A relationship works like a fucking champ when BOTH PARTIES do this.
Think of it as self imposed authority. This is why you should have someone in your life that compliments the areas where you are not so smart. X3 (third ex wife - which does NOT exclude me from being smart about relationships!) was damn good at handling money. When I met her, I was a tad more "frivolous"... Under her reign, I had an allowance... And it was probably for the best.
If you call someone your "partner"... Treat them as such. Don't agree to stuff that impacts them without consulting them. It is a dick/bitch move.
"You look like shit!"
Out of all the people you have to answer to in your life, the one you can not escape from is the person you see everyday. Unless you are blind... then... you can't read this anyway. So, suck it.
Everyone answers to the person they see everyday in the mirror. If you can't look at yourself in the mirror, you are not right with you, and shit has got to change, Kemosabe.
We have all done something we are not proud of. In my case, "something" is not gonna cut it... More like "a fuck ton of shit"... For a while, I avoided mirrors. I didn't like who I had become. I was not a good person. I was at a crossroads of epic proportions. Then I met a chick (who later became X1). I would like to say that everyone lived happily ever after, but that ain't how the story goes.
A wise man said "To Thine Own Self Be True"... That man was Captain Kangaroo. There have been many variations on that theme... Katt Williams is fond of saying, "You gots to take care of your Star Player."
I think back to what the 103rd Master of Sinanju said to his pupil who was afraid of heights... "Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you. Purge your mind of fear and believe in yourself. Without that belief, I can do nothing with you."
This guy also claimed, "Professional assassination is the highest form of public service." Love that guy!
The point is, live a life that makes you like what you see in the mirror. String enough of those days together and you feel pretty damn good. Believe in yourself.
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So, we all have to answer to somebody. Besides yourself, who you give that power to... Well, as I say repeatedly... "Choices, choices".
Ain't seen daylight since the start of this band,
d
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