Why I...

Write.

I write because it is a nice way to express what I am feeling. These blogs are as much for me as they are you. I am finding it challenging to come up with new rants, mainly because the same shit keeps happening. No one likes a broken record.

I also want people to know that I try to always cite sources, link to the places I get numbers or stats, and do my best not to blatantly rip off or plagiarize anyone else. I also understand that in the black and white cases, it's hard to be a different shade of black... I have avoided topics and certain things because I have seen them covered on "Last Week Tonight" with John Oliver, and he does it so brilliantly, that I wonder why I do this at all.

The one thing I took away from being a philosophy major (for about a month), was that we are constantly integrating information, environmental influences, and thoughts and feelings into our own personal philosophy. It is a continual process of being introduced to new pieces of information that you break apart and either allow it to change your thoughts and feelings on a subject, or you summarily dismiss it as complete bullshit.

This process is one of the myriad reasons I enjoy getting visits from the folks. Mom's optimism and spirituality, offset by Dad's pessimism and general curmudgeonly attitude, leaves me sorting through the discussions we have. Incorporating things I agree and liken to, letting stuff I disagree go down the drain...

I usually say goodbye to them knowing Mom just wants me to be happy, Dad does not want to pay for it. All is good in the 'Verse.

 I write because someone I trusted and made me trust in myself said I should. I believed them.

Code.

It is simple to say I write computer code for the same reason a bank robber robs banks. It is where the money is at. I do get paid to program. I am a professional and what not.

There is a subtle art and signature to everyone's code. I came into the job I have now and was handed a legacy system that four other developers had had their hands in... The code was a patchwork mess. I ended up rewriting the entire system. Mostly to gain system knowledge, but almost as importantly, to put my own nuance on the code.

It was a weird feeling to be able to read the code and determine which of the developers had written the page. "Ah... this page has it C, B, then A... Whatsername wrote it..." That is how personalized code is.

There is also an elegance and artistic side to coding. You take the time to figure out the most elegant solution. A problem could have four or five ways of getting taken care of... but what is the most efficient, elegant, and sometimes most challenging solution???

When I see an app, site, or system... I do not see it as it is presented. I am breaking down the elements. I am visualizing the table structures in the database back end... I am reverse engineering the queries... Good times... I get intellectually erect... 

Now, while I like to write code, I see it much like I do all my previous occupations... If I am not getting paid to do it, well... as the Joker so brilliantly remarked, "If you're good at something, never do it for free." When I was a dishwasher, I did not do dishes when I came home. When I was a mechanic, "No, I will not work on your car for free." (the later depending on how hot they were...). When I get home, the computer is an entertainment vessel... Nothing more.

I code because it pays the bills and I am good at it.

Ride.

I ride a single gear bicycle. I ride it at a decent pace. I am a fan of rituals, of the process of something. I never want to try heroin for this very reason... The whole preparation aspect of it has an appeal... Getting ready for a ride is a process, a ritual that I undertake. A sign on the door entering my gym says, "Just showing up is half the battle." Once done with my pre-flight check, the only thing left to do is start pedaling.

The health aspects are pretty much a known deal. I have an app that will inform me of my progress. Distance, time, and mph... Which is a double edged sword. In a certain stretch, I hit a lot of stop signs, so my mph drops... So next stretch, I bust my ass trying to get it back up. Good times.

A couple of peeps have seen my posted results on the ol' Facebook and remarked positively. Then they hear that I am doing it with one gear and then my sanity comes into question.

I like the single gear because you never have to answer the questions, "Am I in the right gear?". The answer would always be "Yes" or "Do I need to shift to a higher/lower gear?", the answer would always be "No" In riding, I feel connected to my conveyance more so then any other. I love the one-ness with the bike. I do not love the one-ness with asphalt or concrete though...

When done, the helmet comes off. The gloves come off. The shoes and socks are kicked off. The soaked shirt and shorts get peeled off. I stand in front of the fan for about 15 to 20 minutes. Another ritual... This weekend's ride, I had the folks visiting. So I made small talk... basting in my own juices as it were... Dad said, and I am paraphrasing, "You look like you want to die. Glad you enjoy it..." The fatigue, soreness and general nausea... Nothing compared to making the road my bitch.

I ride because I want to sweat out the demons...

Love Music.

These things I do... The separate "Why I"s... Could not be accomplished without music. I listen to a minimum of 4 hours of music a day... Look below the sign off on all my blogs... I could not sit in silence and pound this shit out... I need tunes. When writing, I have literally been reminded of an event, appropriate to the post because a song was playing.

Being a listener since I can remember, a lot of memories have a soundtrack. If I hear that song again, I can recall, with great ease, the accompanying memory. The intertwined nature is only bested by sense of smell... And it is a close contest.

When coding, I will type to the rhythm or beat of a song... There are times when you need to pound out some code and Simon & Garfunkel will not do... As my old boss used to say, "Dougie, gimme something to get the job done." "White Zombie, coming up."

When I ride, I have a playlist specifically for riding. If I was trying to kick for a mile, and fucking "Ob La Di,  Ob La Da" came on, I would have to stop and jab an ice pick in my ears. Or hit the "Next" on the player. No... I need something with a tad more, "Fuck You" to it. That does not mean to say it is all "angry"... It just has to have drive. A pushing tone. A challenging manner.

"Red Barchetta" by Rush would be one that I would like to shuffle upon. It starts out slow... meandering. I would used this build up to plot out my stretch. For the bulk of the song is a musical car chase. The imagery created by those three geniuses, makes you feel the wind on your face. When riding, the wind is there already... and when the chase starts, I would be gone...

Drive like the wind.

Straining the limits of machine and man.

Laughing out loud with fear and hope.

I've got a desperate plan.

My nights, usually spent chatting with friends from all over the country, has a soundtrack... And sometimes, I will broadcast it out on the interwebs. Round about 2 hours a night... Just sitting back, shooting the breeze, and listening to tuneage. It is just like I used to do in Duncanville driveways, Augusta parks and in front of the middle school on State. St., in McChord AFB common rooms and hangar parties, and now... Everywhere.

Music has always been and will always be my companion, unobtrusive,

d

This blog brought to you by Pearl Jam, Stevie Ray Vaughn ("Fly on, Little Wing"), Steve Vai, Stevie Wonder, Butthole Surfers, The Beatles, Anthrax, System of A Down, Foo Fighters, Limp Bizkit, Van Halen, Iron Maiden, Ugly Kid Joe, Tool (THE EGGS OF SATAN!!!), 16 Volt, Korn, Faith No More, Soft Cell, Megadeth, Def Leppard, Lords of Acid, and Ministry.