Pictures of The Profit

So, last Sunday, after I had completed a nice little piece of work, feeling all proud, I started drinking. This being the normal modus operandi on most days that end in "y". Seriously, last week's entry was good, you should read it. I'll wait.

See?

So, I am in a chat room, listening to tunes. Feeling all spiffy when some lady from Canada asks, "Hey, didn't you say you lived in Texas?".

"Why, yes. Garland to be specific, Eh."

"Dude, you are on CNN!"

While my first thought was, "Man, that was a really good blog! To get scooped up that quick! I mean, even if it is CNN... Still..."

Not have cabling anymore, I went to the trusty interwebs. Sure enough, there was a shooting at the convention center in my town. Holy Testicle Tuesday, Batman... It happened less than three miles from my doorstep. 2.8 to be exact.

Next... What was going on at the ol' Curtis Caldwell Convention Center, besides alliteration?

"Draw the Prophet" Contest... Why in the name of all that which is truly fucking stupid would anyone do that? We will come back to that. Now, back to the breaking news.

Two gunmen pulled up in the front of the center, about 100 yards or so from the actual building. They got out and shot at some cop type peoples. They wounded one Garland ISD Cop type person... He was out of the hospital before 10:00 that evening.

The two gunmen then got lit the fuck up by another cop(s). Dead. It was really refreshing to see news of cops shooting ARMED suspects for a change. The two corpses lie in the street for a good long while because no one knew if the vehicle they were in was rigged with explosives or any other nefarious materials.

There were also later debunked rumors of a third gunman who hoofed it to the nearby Wal-Mart and had a grenade. Bogus sensationalism... *cough*CNN*cough*

So... Those are the facts... After doing 15 minutes of research, it played out a little like this...

Some assholes had a contest which they knew would piss off these other assholes, and the other assholes did indeed get pissed and wanted to shoot the first group of assholes. So the assholes went to shoot the assholes and got shot... I dunno if the person that shot them was an asshole... So...

Here are the cast of characters...

The two dead guys. Their names are public knowledge, but honestly, they were assholes. The media and a lot of the right wingers are making a stink about the connection to ISIS. ISIS would claim responsibility if someone farted in an elevator and it was complained about on Facebook.

The event organizers, the American Freedom Defense Initiative. Man... That is just a helluva name... It is all patriotic and jingoistic! They are listed as a "Hate Group" due to their hatred of Islam. They claim they are against the "Islamification of America"... Okay... Don't be Muslim if you don't like it. Done.

The event was christened a "Free Speech Event!". Let me get this straight... By having a contest, where the entries are drawings of the prophet Muhammad, which is considered verboten in the Muslim faith, that is "free speech"? Gee, if it looks like an asshole and smells like an asshole...

Pamela Geller, the head asshole and public assface, for the AFDI, has to be loving the publicity. I am betting her nipples could cut glass, and she had to change her panties. Twice. I had never heard or known about the event. I would have NEVER known about the event until this incident.

The AFDI's game plan is to try and buy advertising space for their purely anti-Muslim and anti-Arab propaganda, and if the person balks or tries to refuse to run the offensive material, the AFDI will threaten a lawsuit under First Amendment grounds. Then they would get the free publicity from the lawsuit.

I am crooked today... So, let me get THIS straight... Say I own a cab company. They come in, "Hey, I would like to run this ad, depicting all Muslims as wanting to kill everyone who is not Muslim, in all of your cabs."

"Um. No. That sounds like an asshole thing to do."

"WE WILL SUE YOU INTO THE STONE AGE!!! CALL CHANNEL 5!!!!"

"Well, will you pay for any damage done to my cabs or pay the hospital bills for any of my drivers who might, and probably will, get hurt driving with this fucking bulls eye in my cabs?"

"Well, that is a salient and well thought out point, and WE WILL SUE YOU INTO THE STONE AGE!!! CALL CHANNEL 5!!!!"

"Okay... I will allow it into my cabs..."

"WE WILL SUE YOU INT.... Wait, what? Oh... Fantastic... CALL CHANNEL 5!!!!"

Assholes.

Last perp in this little one act play of idiocy is ol' Mo himself.

I have looked into it... The best answer as to why you cannot draw Muhammad is that it prevents him being worshiped more than Allah. They saw what happened to Christianity... Idolizing something other than God. Even though Jesus was God... So... at the end he should have said "Forgive myself for I know not what I do"? I digress... and blaspheme!

I look at it like the final test to pass... "We have this guy... We love him because he was a prophet... And he had a direct line to Allah..."

"Cool beans, do you have a poster of him I can hang on my wall???"

"INFIDEL!!! WE WILL STONE YOU BACK TO THE STONE AGE!!!!"

And Christians... If I were to draw a picture of Jesus blowing a cross dressing Adolph Hitler, in an alley, behind a cheap Thai food place's dumpster, while he was getting fucked squarely in the ass by a pack of South Korean Elvis impersonators, while the radio played "96 Tears" by Question Mark & The Mysterians*, I would probably receive an unkind letter or ten... thousand... I am also willing to bet that one of those unkind letters would include threats to my very life... So...

All this week did is solidify my distaste for all things religious.

I do not condone violence over a cartoon. I do not condone violence over someone not believing in what you believe.

I am a rational human being.

People who decide that a drawing is worth killing over, can not claim to be rational human beings. They no longer get the benefit of the doubt. They no longer get a seat at the big boys table.

Organizations that claim "Free Speech", and do things to intentionally antagonize and provoke a group of irrational types, need to do so with out making my tax dollars pay for it.

The event had it's own security force. Not a detail, no... a force. However, due to the FORESEEN attack, I know a great many people who work for the City, as I do, put in some overtime. My boss was one of them. She didn't make it in Monday. She was still part of the "Emergency Operations". They had to bring in food... They had to run school buses to shuttle the event goers to safety... They had to set up and make ready for the FBI, the DHS, and whoever else wanted jurisdiction... That is not something done on the cheap...

This weekend, the Curtis Caldwell Convention Center is holding a massive graduation ceremony. I have heard some parents are not letting their kids walk or participate due to fear of more attacks or retaliation.

Meanwhile... Pamela Geller has made off with a nice little sum and a lot of publicity off the incident, that she undoubtedly caused.

I am not a fan of terrorists or religious extremists... I am even less of a fan of parasitic cunt nuggets who dare them to come into my backyard.

Happy Mother's Day!

d

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* Just wait til the next time you hear "96 Tears"... YOU'RE WELCOME!

Tennessee V. Garner.

So... Lessee... Baltimore ate itself this week. Or at least attempted to. I think the breakdown of looters vs. peaceful protesters broke out to maybe 15%/85%... The peaceful types were the 85%... Just for clarification... Something the media epic failed at denoting.

Were there asshats looting, and breaking the windows of small businesses, and setting things on fire? Yes. Sadly, many reports are that the people causing all the ruckus were not even from that neighborhood. It was people who were just opportunistic parasites.

This cauldron of pent up emotions suddenly erupted over the death of Freddie Gray...

Wrong.

Dead fucking wrong.

A cauldron is a large, metal, cooking apparatus. It holds a large quantity of fluid. You can't just strike a match and have the contents suddenly boil over the edges of the cauldron. No. That fire would have to be started. Tended to. Stoked. More fuel to the fire would have to be added over time to increase the volatility of the atoms of what ever was being heated.

So.. Maybe a culmination of events were the last pieces of the fuel. Freddie Gray's nearly being decapitated while in police custody. Coming a couple of weeks after Walter Scott was straight up murdered by a police officer. That came a week after a man was killed by a 73 year old Sheriff's Deputy wanting to taze a suspect who was running away, but grabbed his gun instead. Well, oops.

This all coming after the Ferguson SNAFU. SNAFU means "Situation Normal: All Fucked Up".

And it truly is just that. All fucked up.

I have mentioned the "salt of the Earth types" I work with. Basically rednecks, all of a different degree or hue. And we discussed the situation in Baltimore. They said I wanted to blame "society" for all the things that happened. They maintained that Freddie Gray made his "choice".

I did point out the economic hardships that have plagued Baltimore for decades, the manufacturing bust of the region as those jobs were shipped overseas, education failings of the inner cities, drug culture being almost allowed as long as it doesn't cross certain invisible boundaries, abject poverty, homelessness, minimum wage jobs that do not let a person live...  But yeah... He made a "choice".

The Ferguson situation was jacked because there were so many misleading reports from start to finish. "He was a mean kid who stole cigars from a convenience store just before". Um, I used to steal smokes from the Augusta, Ks. Dillon's Supermarket all the damn time... I was a great kid... Just didn't have the $1.60 for a pack sometimes... And addicted to nicotine... It was more of a public service... Keeping me cool and calm... Not plowing down school children...

The Walter Scott murder would have been another "gotten away with it" if it wasn't for the passerby recording the whole thing on his cellphone camera. The cop on his radio states "Shots fired. Suspect is down. He went for my tazer." Which he didn't. The tazer in question was placed next to the handcuffed corpse of Scott. It was moved closer to the handcuffed corpse by another officer. Brothers in blue, indeed. The FIFTY ONE year old man ran from a police officer and the officer fired at him EIGHT times.

In Tulsa, an old bastard, who reads like a man who read one too many Louis L' amour novels, and probably can only get an erection if there is a picture of John Wayne in his line of sight... Well, this old bastard greased the right palms, made the right contributions and donations, and Lo' And Behold... Sheriff's Deputy! At 73...

I have hung around old people. I worked at two old folks homes during, and a little after, high school. And these were not the "Retirement Communities"... No, these were Death's Doorstep Type Places. A lot of old people are racist as all hell. You tell yourself, they "don't know any better" and it "was a different time". You just wince and carry on. And hope to any fucking higher power that no one gives them a fucking badge and a fucking gun.

Or gives them too many options like A) Gun. B) Tazer. Hmm... Choices choices...

"OH, BUT SIR!!! In all those cases those people broke the law and made the choice to run or resist! They were criminals!!!"

True. My commute in the mornings is 1.5 miles. By the time I hit my desk at work, I have committed at least 5 crimes. It is pretty much the same with a vast majority of the population. If stopped, I would probably not run... More on that at the conclusion.

The point being, fleeing arrest, running, and stealing cigarettes SHOULD NOT BE CAPITAL CRIMES. THEY SHOULD NOT WARRANT A DEATH SENTENCE. This being the part where the title makes sense... "Look it up", as my Dad was fond of saying.

In Federal law, there are 41, just 41, capital crimes... States with the idiotic death penalty would probably be somewhere around the same number. The exception more than likely being Texas, where the Pro Lifers  Hypocrites in charge love them some death penalty. so there are probably double the number of capital offenses.

With the surplus of military weaponry being flooded into municipalities, some 4.7 BILLION dollars, why are there not more non-lethal options?

If cops are in "fear for their lives" so much... Maybe we need some cops with bigger balls? The ones I continually keep hearing about seem to remind me of Jimbo and Ned from "South Park".

If a suspect is running "away"... How does that equate "fear for your life"? Again with the title.

I think the people who are running are in fear for THEIR lives from those who advertise that they are there to "Protect and Serve". And maybe they heard that one nifty statistic, that in the last 5 years or so, you were 50 times more likely to be killed by a cop than you were a terrorist.

_______________________________

I do not think all cops are bad. There are some damn fine officers out there doing a not fun, thankless job. Jon Stewart phrased it perfectly...

"You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in the country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach. The two ideas are NOT mutually exclusive. You can have great regard for law enforcement and still want them to be held to a higher standard."

_______________________________

From above... If I were stopped, I would probably not have to worry about running... I am white.

I will be recording though,

d

This blog brought to you by silence. It was not fun to write. But I wanted to get this out of my head. So many reports and time has been given to this sort of stuff... It is difficult to express without "quasi-plagiarizing", so I have linked and cited for the most part... Ugh... Just sucks.

Really, Neil Sedaka??? Really?

This last Friday, I had drinks with a friend. She has been going through a break up. I care a great deal for this person. One of my favorite people and all. There are about 50 to 60 of them. The rest... meh. I was actually married to her and we actually broke up... On a greater scale. More on the difference between breaking up and divorce later...

We were having many drinks. I am pretty sure the reasoning my ex-wife wanted to get a drink with her ex-husband is because she has more than a modicum of trust in me. I would suspect she would also be tired of getting the same ol' platitudes that one, without fail, receives upon announcing a break up...

"Everything happens for a reason"... Sure, care to share what that reasoning is, ass face?

"When one door closes another one opens..." Well... Given the number of doors on the planet... Given the number of people on the planet... I am sure, statistically speaking, the probability of a door being closed, and a completely different door being opened, simultaneously are pretty fucking high, Einstein.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea..." And a metric fuckton of medical waste... Thanks for that, would you like to jab me in the eye with a dirty needle that just washed up on shore while you are at it???

The spouting, while well intended, does nothing. Much like when someone says, "I am praying for you." They should have said, "You are on your own, best of luck. I am doing the least amount possible." I do not send "prayers" or "positive thoughts"... I have been known to send a dirty limerick...

She came to me because she knew if, in the midst of her explaining the situation and factors contributing to the break up, I smelled bullshit, I would call her out on it. While never a fragrant affair, from what I gleaned, she knows what her shortcomings were in the relationship. I, not knowing the other parties take on things, but knowing her, feel she was justified in pronouncing it dead.

It is one of the bigger precipices you will face... It is the cliff at which most of us have stood before. Below us, the murkiness of the "Unknown". All around us, the "Present Situation", in the form of a maelstrom of anger, doubt, insecurity and the glimmering hope of "what could be". The cliff becomes higher and more daunting the longer the relationship has been going on. 

No one can decide how bad the storm of the present that you are weathering has to be before you make the decision to jump. That is yours and yours alone. It can depend on how real the hope of everything working out is, versus the colossal shitstorm that has driven you to the edge. One thing I can suggest... "To thine own self be true". Has a better ring to it than, "Fuck all the bullshit, trust yer gut."

When you start to doubt yourself in a relationship, every previous relationship barges back into the ol' cabeza. Your own special Hell! Joy! 

This mental deluge, is all our baggage we have not dealt with. You do not get to be in your late 30's or older and not have some baggage. I have always tried to at least make mine a matching set. One of the biggest foibles is to try and denounce your baggage at the beginning of a relationship. I am not suggesting you shine a spotlight on it or anything...

"So, do you have any baggage?"

"Want that alphabetically or chronologically?"

If you are in a relationship and you are feeling neglected, shit on, taken advantage of, or just not getting out of it what you think you deserve, ask yourself "What would I tell someone I care about to do in the same set of circumstance?".

Another wonderful thing about breaking up... The damn truth usually comes out. Most will say communication is vital to every relationship. Granted... So is being honest in what you are communicating. To do that you FIRST have to be honest with yourself! 

Discovering how a person REALLY felt can be cathartic or Damage, Inc..

The other person has assured you time and time again, "No, that doesn't bother me at all."... 

You break up... 

"That bugged the living shit out of me. Every time you did that, I wanted to attack your genitals like a rabid honey badger wielding a cricket paddle and a blowtorch."

It is a matter of deceitfulness... It is wrong... It paints the entire relationship with more than a hint of wasted time. Living a lie. 

Most males will do this, only on little things, to ensure that nudity and touching will continue.

___________________________

My only advice is the same with everything you feel falls in the "Failure" column. Learn from that shit. 

"Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it."

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

"Those who do not LEARN FROM history are doomed to repeat it."

In those "In Between" times of being in a relationship, work on YOU. Be better. Love your self. Sometimes twice.

More importantly, work on sorting your baggage. Examine all those old relationships with a self deprecating eye. Be critical of yourself. Then... Put them away. The next time they rear their hydra like head, you have a better command of them and are stronger for it. They will be a preservior rather than an anchor weighing you down.

Before getting into another relationship, know your WORTH. If you are reading this, you know me... So, you have that going for you...

__________________________

Now, as for the difference between a break up and divorce... One costs a whole lot more. One has an ass load more paperwork, and one is legal and public decreeing of Failure! There is only one sure fire way to avoid it... Don't get married.

There I go, turn the page,

d

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Jesus Hates Indiana

I let the Christians off last weekend for two reasons... It was Easter, the Day of the Zombie Jewish Carpenter, and I had to go back and make sure I did not repeat myself from an earlier blog...

I should really categorize these a bit better with meta tags... But that is not your concern... Moving on...

In the state of Indiana, the Religious Freedom Act was passed. I can only think this was a move to give attention to the epidemic plague of Christian values getting trampled. I know it is all to common to see homosexuals, liberals, Atheists, and the rest of the heathens, blocking good little Christians sheep from going to church... If I see one more bible burning... ugh... It breaks my heart when I am in a public bathroom and see a Crucifix toilet cake...

I have repeatedly heard the cries of the god-fearing, trying to protect our nation from Sharia law. It reminded me of a time when I tried to protect everyone from Shania Twain... It took a while, but, have you heard her lately? You're welcome. They both pose about the same threat level.

The main language of the Sharia law bills is such that it "Stops religious texts from a foreign land dictating the laws in the U.S."... Um... The Bible was NOT written in Joplin, Missouri and yet, more than a few laws have a huge slant towards one particular cult.

Christians main role model... A martyr. So, when they wear a bracelet that says "What Would Jesus Do?", they take it as "If I have been inconvenienced ever so slightly... It must be because I am a Christian... Which means they hate my religion. Ohhhhh... the persecution... it burnses!"

You are probably receiving the slight inconvenience because you are an asshole. Just because you are a Christian, you are probably a bigger asshole because you have a "Holier Than Thou" attitude about it.

In Indiana, if you are a business, you can now refuse to serve anyone if they live a lifestyle that you do not approve of, based on "Religious Freedom". I personally do not know how this needed to be a law. Let's role play this out...

1) Gay people/Muslims/African Americans/Canadians come into your place of business.

2) They would like to give you legal tender for your goods or services.

3) You, being a homophobic/religious extremist/racist/homophobic/jingoist whatever, piece of shit, don't want to take their legal tender. RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!

4) You have a sign that says "We exercise our right to be religious homophobic/extremists/racist/jingoist whatever, pieces of shit and refuse the right to serve anyone". Hell, you have it painted that painted in your window. Which is good, because you should never hide your true feelings... regardless of how fucked up they are.

5) You point to said sign. RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!

6) Gay people/Muslims/African Americans/Canadians look at you with pity and leave. They tell their friends. Their friends tell their friends. Soon, you are left with the KKK in your joint. Seig Heil. RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!

End of story. Why did this need to be a law? A private business retains the right to ask people to leave. Darwinism will sort that shit out. Were people able to sue the business for "Denial of service"? I would think that would only apply if a contract had been entered into, not a simple transaction.

I probably should have researched that part a little more for the blog, but since I think it is just more stupidity under the banner of "Religion"... I am only concerned because the fucking Christians are passing laws. How long before I am rounded up for moral indecency?

A co-worker has talked about opening a martial arts dojo. I asked about his business plan. I also asked what would happen if a homosexual man wanted training. I asked this because my co-worker told me he once refused a drink because it came in a martini glass and he felt "threatened" or "emasculated" by it. Nice guy and all, just a tad afraid of catching the "gay".

Well, if Texas gets "Religious Freedom", he may have an out!

A lot of people are boycotting Indiana... Um... What was the draw to Indiana in the first place? Honestly? What is the only shining light on this topic is that Indiana businesses have been obtaining stickers for their windows that express "This Business Serves Everyone". You can be damn sure if I were to ever find myself in that state and I had a choice... I'd pick the business with that sticker in the window.

Voting with the almighty. The almighty dollar.

Speaking of cash, I am almost finished with "Going Clear: Scientology and The Prison of Belief" by Lawrence Wright. In this book he details the history and incidents within the church and life of L. Ron Hubbard.

It is indeed shocking what people will put up with in the name of religion, and how much it costs them.

I think about explaining all the stuff about Xenu, Aliens, Galactic Confederacies from a Quadrillion years ago, and "thetans", to some of my friends... And how they would, without fail, tell me that is "Crazy".

Yet, these same people will get up early on Sundays. Get all gussied up. Drive to the Lower Case "t" Building. Listen to stories about resurrections. Living in a whale. The raping of angels. And a deity punishing his disobedient subjects in a lake of fire, for all eternity, because he loves them?

The author did himself a disservice by limiting the "Prison of Belief" to just Scientology.

I saw a quote this week that made me quite happy, "Blasphemy is speech that has been outlawed to keep your religion from losing arguments."

Reese's Peanut Butter eggs are still awesome,

d

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Clever Title To Make You Read

A friend of mine had a birthday this week. I decided to let her pick my topic...

The Trans Pacific Partnership.

Um... So... I have researched it, (sparingly - it is excruciatingly boring...)... And... Um... It could be bad. It is like NAFTA, which... Was bad? You can Google "Trans Pacific Partnership good" and see articles as to why it could be good, and then Google "Trans Pacific Partnership bad" and see another set of articles to the contrary.

International trade agreements are a tad above my pay grade. I do know that lobbyists and big corporations are salivating at the mouth, and other orifices, for this thing to ratify... So... Yeah... It is probably bad. I also know that the all the meetings between the players on this thing have been done in seclusion with zero oversight... Yeah... Most likely bad.

My hatred of corporations is well known, and thanks to this blog thingy, well documented. I will usually defend capitalism. I will not defend capitalism bereft of humanitarianism.

Exxon has devoted a couple of million to clean energy research, while raking in historical profits. Historical as in since there has been commerce on this planet. Fantastic... At the ratio of investing in alternative energy, they will be able to buy Canada after the U.S. coastal region, and Interior region, and the rest of it become uninhabitable.

Monsanto, another monster of a corporation, is literally bulletproof under the law. You can not sue them. It is almost illegal to NOT use their product. This week, or last, a reporter was talking to a lobbyist, who claimed that this one preferred chemical of theirs is perfectly safe to drink. The reporter then went all Erin Brockovich and informed that they had some, would he care for a glass? The interview ended shortly thereafter.

Many European countries have enacted bans/restrictions/regulations on Monsanto. They have specified that the foods treated with their chemicals have to be labelled as "Genetically Modified". That would never happen here... Our politicians are so bought and paid for.

Walmart... They always catch flack when they come to towns and try to build... Mostly from small Mom n' Pop shops who can't compete with Walmart's low prices. The fun part is when you realize HOW Wally got the prices so low... First, pay your employees the least possible and keep them at 38 hours a week, so they don't have to be offered benefits. Second, buy in bulk, which is a sound strategy, granted. Third, become such a global monster, that you can make companies pay YOU to sell their shit.

If I ever find myself in need a fifty five gallon drum of ketchup... Costco. Would it cost me three bucks more than at Sam's? Sure, but it is worth it to me. They are doing it right.

I am not against all corporations. There are some that appear to have a soul. It is usually those built by a dumb schmo like the rest of us. They built it with their own hands. The people who helped them build it along the way, are taken care of. From the shipping manager, to the receptionist. If the head honcho does well, they all do well.

A lot of companies start out that way. Then time takes it's toll. The head honcho dies. His spoiled little bitch kids inherit the company. They don't care about Frank, the guy who drives the forklift in the warehouse. Never mind that Frank and the deceased ex. pres. would have drinks at a bar every other Friday... It is always the "next gen" that perverts what was EARNED and WORKED FOR... Usually because they never had to work for or earn a damn thing in their spoiled lives..

The only exception to that I can find to that example is "Tommy Boy".

Certain institutions have become "industrialized". This does not bode well. The Incarceration Industry? The Military Industrial Complex? The Private Security Industry? The Health Care Industry?

When corporations are in charge of food, war, prison, and healthcare.... oh, and 95% of the world's wealth... and they have made themselves unaccountable to any regulatory body through lobbyists, the bottom line is that constants of death and taxes are now negotiable.

___________________

Slinging ass for money may be the world's oldest profession, I guess that would make the first pimp the world's oldest corporation... Caveman Ugg, Inc. "Did you want a blonde? Redhead? C'mon down to Uncle Ugg's Cave O' Happy!"

In "Aliens", by James Cameron, the bad guy was a slimy, acid in it's veins, black hearted, bastard... Named Burke, played by Paul Reiser. He was the Corporate Liason of Weyland-Utani... Accompanying, and dictating actions of troops during a military operation. Then they ran into some aliens. Upon reflection, almost every Cameron movie is pretty much anti-corporation. Also, for the record, THERE WAS ROOM FOR JACK, ROSE! You bitch.

They mostly come out at night, mostly,

d

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March Madness Indeed.

It has been a while since I went all political. There have been recent events that, singularly, were kinda laughable, as in "Oh, you silly idiot.". When examined as a whole, you will sprain eye muscles from rolling them so strenuously.

First, from Oklahoma (I would say "the great state of"... but), well known for the intellectual powerhouses of our time... Senator Jim Inhofe. This guy made a snowball on February 26th. He took it into the chamber, and used this prop to squash those pesky climate change rumblings... You know, the ones from those dang science folks!

Well, case fucking closed! I am just gonna head out and water my sidewalk! I am gonna invest in Koch Industries (not to the extent they most certainly invested in Sen. Inhofe) because we can lift all those terrible regulations that keep them from poisoning the planet faster.

All because some douche-stick made a snowball. In the north. In winter. In February.

Now, where it gets really googly eyed craze-balls is... wait for it... Sen. Inhofe is the Chairman of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. Environmental issues and concerns brought before the Senate will have to pass muster with this walking, talking pile of corruption... Awesome.

The lunatics are running the damn asylum.

Next... Sen. Lindsey "Clutch Tha Pearls" Graham. This southern dainty type is so effeminate, I hope he is aware of just how comical he is. To say he is an alarmist, is an insult to alarms.

In early March, during an interview, the Senator admitted that he had never sent an email. Ever. This was in response to the horrific, scandalous news about Hillary Clinton used a private email server when in office of Secretary of State. Heavens, no!!!

Clinton admitted to deleted a couple (32,000 or so) emails from her personal email server.  Of course, this means she got rid of all her dirty secrets and evidence that SHE was the once who masterminded Benghazi... From what she recalls, there were more than a few about her daughter's wedding... I figure that counts for at least 80% of them right there...

Also, if that is the case, what were in the 2 MILLION emails deleted by Bush Jr.?

Why does Graham's never sending an email make my taint itch? Not only because "HOW DO YOU NOT USE EMAIL??????? MY MOM USES EMAIL!", it is the nugget of information - ol' Linds sits on the Subcommittee of Privacy, Technology, and The Law. Technology... and the guy has never sent an email...

It's things like this that make Sweden look inviting...

Again in early March, forty seven Senators sent a letter to Iran. They essentially said, "Hey, those negotiations you are in with this administration? The next guy can make it go away with a stroke of the pen... So, nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo." Paraphrasing, but not by much.

The immediate backlash included a petition to have them all charged under the Logan Act. This act states, again paraphrasing, "Don't be a dick and undermine us when we are all negotiating." I signed that petition.

Defenders of these 47 simpletons brought up Nancy Pelosi's outreaching to Syrian assclown Assad in 2007. They say that was the same thing... Here is how it wasn't.

In 2007, under Retarded Cowboy the First, the U.S.'s foreign policy broke down into two distinct camps... "Places We Have Invaded" and "Places We Want To Invade". Syria was on the "Want To" list... We had no negotiations ongoing with Syria at the time. They were killing their own people, in their own borders... Fair game, play on. We have no problem with that... Cross an imaginary line... Well, you done messed up.

We have had ongoing negotiations with Iran about their nuclear program. We are currently aiding Iran on two active combat fronts, and working against Iran on two other active combat fronts... So to say that the negotiations are "precarious" is akin to saying "The sun is kinda warm". You have landed in "YA THINK???" territory.

So to have a young Senator, one Tom Cotton, run his word hole, and get 46 others to try and undermine the administration... Seriously dick move.

Lastly, four words...

Ted Cruz for President.

I dunno how this guy born in Canada can be president... I thought there were rules for that. Why has no one demanded his birth certificate?

There is (hopefully) no chance in hell that he can win... I think he is setting himself up to be a V.P. pick... Which would only make it one heart beat away from total calamity.

_____________________________________

For the record, I mentioned no political party... Not that I would have to... The Republicans took control of both the House and the Senate last November and the swearing in was earlier this year. The leaders of the party stated, "Now, we have to show that we can govern!"

Here's me, waiting with bated breath...

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon,

d

This blog brought to you by the Post Coital Techno Boogie, Daft Punk, Puddle of Mudd, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Anthrax, Foo Fighters, Lords of Acid, Juno Reactor, Deftones, Alice in Chains, Monster Magnet, The Seatbelts, the Beatles, Dethklok, Queens of the Stone Age and Pink Floyd,

The Best Part of Waking Up...

No... It isn't "Folgers in your cup", it is the realization that you "did not die before you wake"...

Real quick... "If I die before I wake, let the deity who decided I need to die in my sleep keep my soul"... Fantastic logic. Kiddies, he does not like you... Killed your punk ass while you were sleeping!

I love waking up. Some days more than others, sure, but I truly love that part of the day. It has not been corrupted yet. It has not been soiled by news, or outside influence.

I have my own little ritual. More of a checklist.

I ask myself my name. Self Actualization faculties, CHECK.

I wiggle my fingers and toes. Nervous System, Fully functional.

Respiration? 100% good to go. (8+ years being smoke free will do that. Olden days... 73%?)

Location: Earth. Close enough!

Ready for the Day? Snooze button engaged.

I have risen in very different circumstances over the years. The first question during the more "unmarried USAF" years was, "And who is this lying next to me?", followed by "Who's room is this?"

Having been married three times, and subsequently divorced three times, there is a gift/curse to going from waking up next to someone consistently, to waking up alone. The gift aspect is that you can spread over to the "cool" side of the bed with out someones feet impeding your incursion into virgin territory.

The curse is you can not enjoy an incursion into not so virgin territory. Morning sex being some of the best in the world. Schedules dictate that there is not a lot of muss or fuss... Get busy, get done, watch the morning breath...  Although, a recent lady friend brought to my attention that those dissolving breath strips you put on your tongue... Priceless.

I remember waking up in Augusta, KS. In the State St. apartment... On the waterbed... Was the winter of 1992. The reason I remember this morning is because the heating element of the water bed had quit and X1 had opened the window or kicked out the glass, I forget which. I have been cold, and I have been really fucking cold. This was the later.

The not so best way to wake up is called "Revelry". In basic training, the alarm clock is a bugle blast, which makes one think the sounding of the third horn of the Apocalypse has been blown. "And the seas shall boil, and all your hair shall be cut-eth off". It got to the point that you were up and moving before the actual clarion call... You heard the hushed buzz, the hiss/crackle of the air of the intercom to the barracks click on... And you were in motion.

I have woken to the sounds of flying, screaming death. In Turkey, the tents were close to the end of the runway. I was on swing shift, and working out  for four hours, in the gym, until about three in the morning. I got to the point where I could sleep through F-16's, F-15's, and the Brit's Tornados. Those cursed F-4 Wild Weasel's, though... Even Satan would knock on the ceiling of hell and scream, "Knock it the fuck off, for Christ's sake!"

There was a day, with X2, I woke up, but knew full and well I would be going back to sleep. She had to go to work or something, and I did not. I rolled over, and in some miraculous, accidental configuration of limbs... I found the Nirvana of sleeping positions... The most comfortable I have ever been in a bed when not engaging in sexual congress... Hell, it was the most comfortable I might have ever been. Period. It was glori-Aaaaand X2, grabs my shoulder to kiss me goodbye for the day... I cried and, to this day, still recall those five to seven seconds... Have never found it again...

Weirdly, I am not a fan of naps. I may have one or two a year, but I am more worried about them having a detrimental effect. Those naps where you wake up feeling worse than you did before the damn nap. Bastard nap!!!!

Now that I have lived on my quasi-own for a spell, I use an alarm clock. I have it on the other side of the room. I have to exit the bed, hit the snooze, or cease the alarm on the weekends... The quasi part comes in form of the damn dog.

Lily has a very cold nose. I have a very low lying bed. There is not a more effective alarm than having a dog poke her nose somewhere "delicate". Since her "Whatever That Was" last summer, she has learned to let me sleep in... IT ONLY TOOK 7.5 YEARS! Way to go, Bitch! I slept in to 8 AM a couple weekends back... Woo...

In that snooze button time of 10 minutes... I really don't go back to sleep, unless I really tore it up the night before... No... After the earlier checklist, the day is planned. The course set. This, while sprawling out for the cool spots under the covers...

It is my most optimistic time of the day. By the time I grab the keys, and head out the door... That is gone. The big, bad world is now in play. And it is out for blood.

Bring it on,

d

This long overdue blog brought to you by The Foo Fighters, The Donnas, Girls Against Boys, Led Zeppelin, The Brothers Johnson, Jerry Cantrell, White Zombie, The Presidents of The United States of America, The Rolling Stones, Korn, Dethklok, and Stevie Ray Vaughn & Double Trouble.

Apologies for the absence the past couple of weeks. It was an anniversary. See last years 3/11 blog... All ya need to know.