Five Questions From Mom

For this particular offering, I asked Mom to ask me five questions she honestly wants the answers to.

See if you can spot the trend...

1. Do you know any happily married atheists?

That I could name readily? No. Then again, my not knowing of them does not mean they don't exist (ironic sentiment for an Atheist, eh?). There are happily married atheists and there are unhappily married atheists. There are happily married Christians and there are unhappily married Christians.

If they are unhappily married, I sincerely doubt that Atheism is the culprit if both partners are atheists. Just because you lift the veil of religion, you don't gain super powers... except for that of being able to spot fairy tales for what they are.

The spouse could have gained a lot of weight... They could be taking the other one for granted... Like a worn out record, of their favorite song... Leading to correspondences in the personal adds... and that leads to the Pina Colada song STUCK IN YOUR HEAD... You're welcome. For the record... She was a cheating bitch... She put an ad in the paper first... It's all on her. Thanks, Rupert.

I may have mentioned to some, or in a previous blog, or in person, that if you ask a person to describe themselves in five words, it is a glimpse into their psyche. For example, if you asked me to describe myself in five words, I would start with "Dougie". It is who I am. Then rest of the list goes "Human, Son, Artist, American" With me being first (no surprise there...), it shows that my my identity... my individuality and uniqueness are important to me. Second is the intellectual aspect, being a human being. I hate it, but it is true.

The third, Son, is because I do have wicked awesome parents who were always there for me and made all this possible. Artist... Whether it is writing, doodling, or even to an extent, programming. I like to think I add that little bit of my artistic flair to the creation.

The last is just self explanatory... I am proud of and truly do love this country... and hopefully it will be great again once the impeachment proceedings are done... Any. Day. Now.

I bring this up because if you have Groom, when asked to describe themselves, starts off with "Christian... without doubt, 110%, all glory to Him, Lord of Lords, The Lion and The Lamb"... Well, Bride damn well better be okay with being number 2. The only way I can see that happening is if when asked, their answer for the numero uno slot is pretty much the same rote propaganda and brainwashing and her betrothed.

2. Do you know any happy atheists (other than celebrities)?

As with Christianity, where there is a "spectrum of belief", in Atheism, there is a "spectrum of disbelief".

This guy is at one end of the spectrum of belief... He is caught, hook line, and sinker... Now, he may be happy in his faith, but I am sad just watching that. Other Christians don't go in for the whole "literal" interpretation of the so-so book. They also go to church only when the Cowboys kick off at 3:30.

It goes into "control". That man in the clip, he has a warm security blanket, encasing him in a sense of moral superiority, and basically removing that pesky "free will" and "independent thought" from his poor little brain. He is submissive. I am not. I see that security blanket as a fucking straight jacket.

My atheism does not define me. It is not the overriding and deciding factor in how I go about my daily life. I don't stop to think, "Will this piss off a non existent deity?" before buying that new bottle of Jack.

I am probably happier than some believers because I DON'T have to run through some spiritual gambit when making a decision. I don't have to stop and psychically talk to an invisible sky daddy to see if buying a new vacuum cleaner is the right thing to do.

I joke and say I am a "Militant Atheist", meaning I will only get into heated debates about "Star Trek" captains. There are some who are out there that truly believe that organized religion is the greatest obstacle to the human race moving forward. They do their best to denounce, disrupt, and decry religious influence. It makes them happy. Of course, if they were believers, going out and trying to convert them thar heathen atheists would make them equally spiritually erect.

So, do I know any happy atheists? Probably. Here is the caveat.. It hardly comes up. It is not that important. If it does come up, it is along the lines of,

"Oh, you're an Atheist?"

"Yeah."

"Cool... So anyways, Picard was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than Kirk."

"Go suck a dick! Without Kirk, there is no Picard."

"What about Janeway?" says token interloper.

"FUCK OFF!", shout the two Atheists in unison.

See... We can swear and not have to ask for forgiveness. Pretty fucking cool! SEE!!!!

3. What do you think you need in your life now, to make everyday better or more enjoyable?

Weed. Just kidding. Sorta. Oooooh... A kid???? NOT GONNA HAPPEN MOM!

First, let's set the definitions... There is being "happy" and there is being "content". I have a nice big ass TV, which according to some, has the best quality they have ever seen. Does that make me happy? A smidge, but it makes me content as hell that my "Main TV" checkbox is ticked off. Good fridge? CHECK! Bottle of Jack? CHECK! Some cokes to go with said Jack? CHECK!

Happiness is not the natural state. It just is NOT. You show me a person who walks around and says "I am happy all the time!" and I will show you a person that life has not taken a dump on yet.

People love to put up the meme about how "Darkness can't repel darkness, it takes a light to do that." That sorta hokey shit. Well, Francis, that light... has to fight to be... to exist. The Darkness just IS. If you go out into outer space, you will not be amazed by the "brightness". It is dark.

"But what about all those stars???" Um, Pum'kin... That is light from something that is dead now. Sweet dreams.  

If you light a match... a candle... turn on a light... to repel darkness... it has a cost. It is an expenditure of some resource or energy in order to fight the black...  Meanwhile, the darkness... waits. It is ALWAYS there.

Now, should you go silently into that dark night? Just embrace the darkness and become some little emo/goth person? No... Fight that urge!!! (Unless you just love the aesthetic and style of that scene, which I get... I DO have a blond, long haired dog... so... black is not always the best option for me.)

I am wary of the perpetually happy... And just as wary of the perpetually pessimistic... It is the rare combination of when the two meet, fall in love, and just work... Counterbalancing and enhancing... I call them "Mom and Dad".

I would probably say a change would make my life better. My job, while paying the bills, has morphed away from what really made it rewarding. It has presented me with new challenges, but not the type of challenges I would have sought out on my own.

The area I am in could be considered "Occupied Territory". I would like to not be in the Dallas area. Dallas itself is "something I have to get through" to get to somewhere I want to go. It holds no appeal to me.  I want to go to the ren fest? Ugh... Gotta go through Dallas. I want to go see Metallica in Arlington this June? Ugh... Gotta go through Dallas.

I could also do with a lady... One who meets all my wants and desires... Fulfills all my requirements in a companion... Intellect, wisdom, passion, empathy...  Heart of an angel, with a body that would make Satan say "DAYUM! I love me some sin, but that ass game is too much!"

She doesn't exist... So... Why dwell? (That would be the match burning out and the darkness coming back in.)

I am content, Mom. Happiness does occur, swear. Don't worry.

4. Where will you likely move to when you retire, or if you could easily move now?

I think I wrote that one already... TA DA!!!!

And I kinda covered it a few paragraphs ago... If I were to stay in state, it would be to take advantage of the retirement system I have been in for going on TEN YEARS!!!! (Insert Piven from "Gross Pointe Blank" here).

In state: I would scope Austin area, then Waxahachie, then maybe a whacked out. throw a dart at a dartboard, place... Make it my own.. As long as I can get a Jack n Coke, I am happy... Or at least content.

Non Texas choices: Where weed it legal. Just kidding. Sorta.

Let's not forget international options... Being able to claim "Political Asylum" is now valid.

"Have you seen our president? Fucker's crazy and shit!"

"Valkommen to Sverige!"(45 SLAM!)

5. When and where were you, when you were the happiest?

I remember summer at the campground in Michigan, probably 10 years old or so, where the days seemed to go on forever... We might have been there for 4 days, I don't recall, but they started at dawn and went to "passing out". Good times.

There were the summers in Duncanville, '82, '83... Armstrong Pool... Watching "Price Is Right" and "I Love Lucy"... Then out the door... returning "at dark".

I also mark happiness by when I discovered music that I still love to this day... Huggins giving me a copy of Led Zeppelin IV. Duncanville also being where I learned of Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Aerosmith. Musically rewarding age... Kansas was where Metallica really took hold.

Then there were the USAF days... That period had the added benefit of my whole being a whore thing when I came back from Turkey cute... and freshly divorced...

Yeah... Good times. It helped that the shop I was in would roll out as a group, If we went out, it was 10 to 20 of us. Espirit de Corps they call it.  It was definitely my most "social" time. Also, the most drunk era. Weird how the two went hand in hand.

These days, I look forward to Scarbourgh Faire... I look forward to May's event. I have a couple of concerts coming up this summer...

There are moments of happiness every day - you just have to recognize them. Two weeks ago, found out that I don't have cancer! That was neat... I was still a bit sad that I would not get to smoke weed... FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES... Just kidding. Sorta.

____________________________

Mom wants me to be happy. I get that. I appreciate it.

She also knows where I get 50% of my genetic make up. "Happiness" is a good idea and all, BUT since I am my Father's son... 

I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. I am always waiting for shit to go bad. Sometimes I will stop something good going on... JUST because I know it will eventually go tits up...

I am working on it though... Getting there, Mom. Thanks for asking.

The light is strong, and the man is weak,

d

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