She and I discussed happenings of the weekend... and I mentioned my domestic undertakings. She said, "I did all that yesterday... Today is my lazy day."
The spark happened... The neurons started firing. Yes, my mind was "a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives." (Thanks, Hedy!)
(It's not 'Hedy', It's 'Hedley', Hedley Lamarr!)
When I returned from 1874*, I asked myself, when was the last time anyone had a 24 hour period where they were asked of nothing.
Sure... Coma patients are pretty much the beginning, middle, and end of the list. I forget the comedian who riffed about, "We don't know what being in a coma is like... It could be the most awesome thing in the world... And here we are... Trying to pull people out of them..."
Seriously, when was the last time you had a day where the agenda consisted of Jack and Shit, and Jack just left town?
For me, starting from Sunday... If it was a payday weekend, every other Friday, I clean house. I figure if I clean house, it will keep me from going out and spending money. Regardless of payday, I also hit the gym. I also spend a spot of time composing this... FOR YOU! You're welcome! I also spend at least 2 hours completely zoned out.. Vegging. This is in order to gird my loins for the upcoming work week.
Monday... Work... Which is not the problem. It is a job... I go... I do have to interact with people... That is taxing. Then gym.
Well... That is Monday through Thursday... At night, after sufficiently cooling down and eating, I will jump in some chat rooms, maybe spin some tunes... Good times.
Friday... No gym. Fridays are good because that means booze and cheat meals. Still went to work... Dealt with people.
Saturday, when weather permits, and sometimes when it doesn't, I will get up early and try to destroy my legs on my bicycle. Laundry is usually done on the Saturdays as well...
So... when is my lazy day?
Even when I was on vacation in San Antonio, in May, the closest I got was the Saturday pool party at the hotel. I was going to hold off on drinking til at least after noon... I then had the epiphany that, "Hey... if I were at the Ren Faire, I would be drinking mead at 10:05... It is 10:08... I have a bottle of mead..." HUZZAH, Bitches!
So, after transferring the elixir to my "water bottle"... We meandered to the pool... Commence Operation: Do Fuck All!
Couple of lady friends asked what I was imbibing... I let them sample... "Oh... that's good!"... "I KNOW!!!"
They both slipped me cash... "Go get us some, pweeeeeeez??????"
I had pretty much killed the bottle, so... Driving was out... "TAXI!"
My friend and I had a mission... In the middle of our Operation... Disgraceful!!!
I bring up that day because it just proves the point, there is rarely... we're talking "Donald Trump making a coherent and well thought out, endearingly delivered, thought" rare... a day that you can just do nothing.
I say this... and I don't even have kids! Kids will fuck up a day of nothing quicker than you drawing comparisons between Donald Trump and Hitler!
I have Lily... And yes, while not the same, if I am home, I will never have a day of nothing. I could... but she would eat my guts, ass first by 7:00 AM. Then she would take a dump in the corner... Which means I would have to get my gutless, ass eaten ass out of bed and clean up shit. That would make for a shitty day... Like "President Donald Trump" shitty.
However... With careful planning, if you have the right number of kids, and once they get old enough to perform the chores... You could maybe, juuuust maybe, squeak out a day of nothing... Slave labor!!! (The kind Donald Trump hopes to bring back!)
That sort of day of nothing is the long con... I mean the four year old can't really mow the lawn... But their little fingers are good for cleaning out the blade area, getting in all the nooks and crannies.
The preparation for having a day of nothing would be staggering. First... The ground rules for what a day of nothing consists of would have to be established... I would consult the Buddha. This is because that fat bastard always looks happier than Donald Trump shopping for a new wife (aka "The Miss America Pageant").
The Buddha says to eat when hungry, drink when thirsty, when nature calls - answer, and sleep when tired. Anything beyond that is wasted energy.
So, eating, drinking, waste evacuation, and sleeping do not infringe on a day of nothing.
Meal preparation would. So, have to fix the meals the day before. Preferably nothing needed to be reheated... Well... the easiest solution would be to have a chef and a butler... Like Donald Trump has... EVERYWHERE HE GOES. SINCE HE WAS BORN.
I guess that brings up another point. A day of nothing is not cheap. The closest most of us will ever get is when we go on a vacation. I can see sitting on a beach, tasty adult beverage in hand, delivered by resort staff, being a very close approximation.
I posit that vacations and do nothing days are essential... I have this here link to back that shit up. I was also bummed out to read, according to a survey by Expedia, that in 2009, Americans gave up around $436,000,000 in vacation days.
So, doing nothing is not easy, nor cheap. But not doing nothing could kill you.
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That type of thinking is seductive. It entices you with the promise of "rest and relaxation"...
Then I think of the people on the ship in "Wall.E"... The ones in the hover chairs... Know what they were good at? Doing nothing.
Something in the way,
d
This blog brought to you by Roger Miller, Dangerous Toys, Frank Sinatra, Hollywood Studio Symphony, The Beatles, Nazareth, Saliva, The Winery Dogs, Metallica, The Cranberries, Toadies, Anthrax, Ugly Kid Joe, White Zombie, and Nirvana.
* - It has been too long since you watched "Blazing Saddles". Remedy that shit.
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