This being the fourth of July weekend, a THREE DAY weekend on top of that, I was pretty enthusiastic. Throw on top of THAT, the fact my Boss said, "Yo, Time to go" about an hour earlier than normal.
I was ecstatic because that meant I had time to replenish my empty bottle of Jack and get home in time to feed my ravenous canine.
The previous night, a "friend" lent me their copy of "Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition". Now, I did not see the original theatrical release when it was in theaters.
What the ass? You are a comic book nerd! You love comic book movies! You go to the Thursday, 7 PM showings before all the other nerds go on Fridays!!!
While those are factual statements, I would like to add a caveat... "I love GOOD comic book movies!"
Since I was not spending my money, I decided to go ahead and watched this movie.
I know the director Zack Snyder was responsible for the last Superman movie, "Man of Steel". After watching that horrible piece of shit, I was really curious how he could, and inevitably would, violate another comic book icon.
I was not disappointed. At all. This movie was horrible. I am seeing review upon review, calling this "ultimate edition" the savior of this movie, making it more "understandable" with it's extra footage. If I would have spent more than three pennies, a dime, and maybe some pocket lint to see the "regular" version, which according to critics was "muddled"... I would have asked for my thirteen cents back and a written apology.
I am also perplexed at critics these days. They seem to be reflecting the public, and that is a scary, scary thing. The "public" is pretty fucking stupid. If you doubt that, look at the nominations to LEAD said public for four years.
I may be reacting a tad harshly to this film, but on the other hand, I have only been involved with comic books for about 39 out of my 43 years on this third rock from the Sun. I have probably forgotten more than the majority will ever know about comic books.
These two characters, while not my faves, are a staple. They are archetypes that have spawned doppelgangers in every other comic book company's roster. I do not religiously collect Bat's or Supe's titles, but have been known to enjoy a collected story arc for each. Will pick up a one shot issue that I hear good things about. If I know and like an artist doing an issue, I will pick that up to see his or her interpretation of these legendary superheros.
Back in the 1986, there was a four issue, limited series, called "The Dark Knight Returns". It was written by Frank Miller. It was drawn by Frank Miller. It was the, THE, comic that changed EVERYTHING. It did two major things... 1) It challenged the reader to GROW THE FUCK UP. 2) Superman and Batman fight.
More to the first point - It proved that comics were not just for kids. It brought to light the fact that a child whose parents are brutally and senselessly murdered in front of him, MIGHT HAVE SOME ISSUES! It was the beginning of a dark turn in comics. It was a signal, a bat-signal, that it was okay to have an edge. The readers can handle it.
The second point was built up over three issues. It was part of a thought out an brilliantly executed story that had Superman playing lap dog to a corrupt Government. President says "Sic 'em" and off flies the Big Blue Boy Scout.
When a certain flying rodent based vigilante in Gotham starts making the Government look bad by not playing by their rules... The President says "Sic 'em".
The ensuing contest between the two titans... every panel is seared into my memory. I read that book every year, without fail.
In 2013, I hear Zack Snyder is doing a Superman movie. I watch it and was severely disappointed on many, many fronts.
The biggest disappointment is when Superman kills his enemy. And here is where the blog title comes into play.
To make a good comic book movie... The first and most important rule is...
STICK TO CANON!
Having Superman kill in a huge Summer blockbuster like that was akin to taking a giant shit on 78 years of lore.
"But but he had no choice... He had to..."
I refuse that argument and blame the writers for being lazy assholes. What makes Superman Superman is that he ALWAYS finds a way. He is supposed to be the shining example that we strive to become. He is the best of us. He is hope and potential. SUPERMAN DOES NOT KILL. EVER.
And they made him a thug.
About six months after that "film" made it's money, I heard the announcement at Comic Con, they were going to do Batman Vs. Superman. I found that it was going to be based off of my beloved "The Dark Knight Returns". The geek part of my brain squealed in delight. It was short lived, because I knew the "Team" behind the "Man of Steel" debacle was now going to pervert something I treasured.
I hate being right.
In this movie, they skipped over anything even remotely resembling these two characters. Batman, being the "World's Greatest Detective", is played like a little school boy bitch. It would have been funny if it weren't so sad.
Then the last nail in the coffin into any and all future movies from DC was delivered. Batman, in his Batmobile, opens fire on some cars chasing him. Explosions! Cool! Boom!
Um... Guess what kiddies? BATMAN DOES NOT KILL. EVER.
If the Christopher Nolan Batman movies hadn't explicitly DISCUSSED that factoid, it just might have been an oversight. You only had three Batman movies released in the last 11 years, pretty much emphasizing the fact that Bats will fuck you up, but you are gonna pay for your crimes.
I know I should have stopped the movie then... But I had to see if they even remained true to ANY of the original text. Again, I was let down. Severely. The movie fell victim to the "Studio Bloat".
That's where the powers that be say, "One villain is neat and all... But let's cram three or four more in there because we can make more on the merchandising. To hell with 'story'! Oh, and be sure to hint at the next slate of movies and characters! Fuck 'story'!"
This movie could have been the DC Cinematic Universe's big step forward. They could have jumped up into the Marvel Cinematic Universe league. Instead of taking a big step forward, they stepped in a giant, steaming, pile of shit that was "Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition"
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That reason is it stuck to canon. It treated the source material as scripture and it showed. It was simply perfect. It had humor, heart, and masturbation references galore.
As soon as "Deadpool" became the highest grossing rated "R" movie, ever, DC took notice. They have a little movie called "Suicide Squad" coming out... They got everyone to go back and do some re-shoots to do two things. 1) Make it rated "R". 2) Add jokes.
This "ultimate edition" of Bats v. Supes was also made rated "R"... After "Deadpool" made bank...
Easy to make changes to something when you were not true to it anyways.
Got no human grace,
d
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