BEWARE The Self Fulfilling Fallacy!

Does there seem that there is a new onslaught of scams popping up lately?

A Facebook friend asked me to blog about this. At first I was reluctant. What would I say, "Scams, and the perpetrators of said scams, blow dead goat."? "Scams are bad, m'kay?".

A couple of days after the suggestions, I received a check for $25.50 from the Texas Physicians Health Group. Who the hell are these guys? I never heard of  'em. Toll free number to call... Oh, but I got it on a Friday night and will not be able to know a damn thing til Monday. (Turned out to be a over payment reimbursement - FROM SEPTEMBER 2011!!!)

There was a time (Yes... I am an old bastard), when I would get a check like that and it would be cashed before you could say "Something difficult and tongue twisting that would make you sound like a dork" five times real fast.

But this was before two cards, one my debit card and the other my main credit card, got hacked within thirty days of each other. Target, you cheese eating, surrender monkey, French bastards, THANKS! Granted, I will continue to shop there. I will pay a tad extra to NOT go to Wal-Mart. I am saddened that the windfall of 25 buckaroos is met with a healthy dose of skepticism.

I have also noticed that cell phones are getting inundated telemarketing type calls. I think it was 2006 or so  when the No Call List legislation went into place. It seems that they are creeping back into the mix of things. This is an unwelcome development. I got rid of my land line in 1999 for just that reason. Like some people get a P.O. Box to avoid junk mail. Some calls still got through, but the majority were thwarted.

The main reason I don't contribute to campaigns? Because I will get blasted by the greedy bastards wanting more. Obama's peeps, in one fashion or another, sent me about 34,460,073,421 emails since 2007. Granted, I still think my 50 bucks I tossed in was worth keeping Palin out of the White House. Dodged a bullet there, you betcha! *wink*

The other scam I recently heard about was a "758" area code, or something to that effect. The gist is that your phone rings once or twice. No message left. And if you answer, it hangs up. When you try to call the number back, it is an area code off shore, and a $20 international connection fee gets added to your bill and it is like $9 bucks a minute.

Lesson to be learned - If you get weird call from number, before calling right back, Google that shit!

Ah... Another scam, of sorts... Before posting or reposting disaster porn or foreboding stuff on Facebook, please take two minutes and Google or Snopes the allegations or claims made.

On another forum, a guy claimed that the opening ceremony of the Olympic games in Sochi had a secret shout out to Hitler from Putin, because a snowflake did not turn into a ring...

This, according to the genius, was a definitive representation of the Audi logo... of four rings... And Hitler told Audi to build a fast car... So this was all intentional by Putin... Never mind that the Audi logo is four rings aligned horizontally, not staggered...

And if it were three rings, would it mean that Putin is after Disney money because it would look like Mickey Mouse? If it were two rings, would be for boobies? Putin does love being topless. If it were one ring, would it symbolize that Putin is actually Sauron from the Lord of the Rings and wants his Precious?

Stuff like this relies on the weak minded and gullible to "marvel at the insight".

In the end, alls I can say is that scams, and the perpetrators of said scams, blow dead goat.

Scams are bad, m'kay?

d

P.S. - I know the title may or may not relate, but it is a nice play on words... Deserves a title, dontcha think?

This blog brought to you by Nirvana, Anthrax, STP, Dave Matthews, Corrosion of Conformity, Def Leppard, and Peeping Tom.

HOOKERS AND PORN!!! WOO!!!

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Serious Inquiry...

There are mysteries. There are enigmas. Was Oswald the lone shooter? Chicken or egg? Why do fools fall in love?

I know all the answers to those listed... But another question vexes me... Who decides the level of complexity on Sudoku puzzles?

I am a creature of habit and ritual. I welcome the unfolding of events as they should be. I also enjoy and look forward to the incorporating of new structures and rhythms... The settling into a new routine... This is usually accompanied by a person entering into your life on a more then temporary basis. The disruptive aspect countered with nudity and touching. It all works out!

In the morning, before showering, when evacuating waste materials from the body, I enjoy muddling over a Sudoku puzzle book I keep in drawer next to the commode. It helps get the thinkin' a goin' as I do my biz. I skip the first section of "Easy". I can knock those out, only fearing actually writing down the wrong number in the wrong square because I am thinking three placements ahead. I find where the "Hard" puzzles start, say at puzzle #120. I go puzzle #110, in the "Medium" section, and start there. I gauge the complexity and proceed.

When I arrive at work, fire up the box, check emails for fires and emergencies, discover the FSOTD*, and post said FSOTD on the ol' Facebook. After those critical work functions are accomplished, I snag the current offering from the "Original Page A Day Sudoku Calendar". Monday and Tuesdays are "Easy", Wednesday and Thursday are "Medium", Friday and Saturday are "Hard". Sunday is the "Very Easy" one, combined on the same page as Saturdays. The Sunday puzzle is for people like Sarah Palin. A drunk Third grader could complete it before her.

I can tear through book's "Hard" puzzles, more than a modicum of thought being expended... The calendar's hard puzzle? It makes me feel like the aforementioned drunk Third grader. I mean they kick your mental teeth down your mental throat. You feel defeated most of the time. They win. There are those glorious days where you see the patterns, can do the eliminations and envision the solutions... and you feel like the smartest person on the planet. Then Saturday, the Third grader is looking for his bottle.

Book's "Hard" puzzles are not in the same realm as the calendar's "Hard" puzzle... If the calendar's "Hard" puzzle was in the book, it would be categorized as "Satanic Mind Molester".

So... Thus begs the question... What council, what coven, what quorum was established to say, "This Sudoku puzzle presented before us shall be deemed.... MEDIUM!"? (Then they chant something like "SO IT IS SAID, SO SHALL IT BE!" or "FOR THE GREATER GOOD!" ) (And yes, there are torches and they are all in hooded robes. Don't judge me!)

And for the record, a Third grader's preferred beverage... a Mint Julep (with fresh mint leaves). Bubblegum schnapps would seem to the be the obvious spirit of choice, but they find it too cliche.

Oswald was not alone, the egg came first, and fools fall in love because they are fools.

Fool at large,

d

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* FSOTD - First Song Of The Day. I have about 4800 some odd songs. I fire up the tunes on shuffle and the first song of the day is posted...

Book Review: "Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living" by Nick Offerman

I have not written a book report since the 7th Grade (I got a C-). Please take pity on my lack of knowledge of form and fashion of book reviews...

I enjoyed the man behind "Parks and Recreation"'s Ron Swanson's literary offering. I found the tome to be sincere, humble, and very, very funny. The man's passion of, well, life comes through in a non-preachy way. Even the section titled "Leviticus Can Blow Me" seemed not to be anti-religious, more of a plea for compassion. That could be because of the healthy dose of the un-celebrity like ethos and humor that is prevalent in even the most tenderhearted passages.

Offerman never spouts a "I deserve this" attitude. The "I nod when they call me 'Lucky Bastard'" stance is presented and believable. His upbringing in rural Illinois is mostly to blame. When he discovered the stage, he was determined to be a part of it any way he could. This led to constructing stage pieces and settings. This, in turn, led to his overriding passion of woodworking.

I can see his pastime creeping into the structure of the chapters. I see him starting with areas blocked out. Whittling down this part, shaving some off this chapter, chipping away at some of the memories. His writing is honed and lathed to exactly convey his thoughts as he wants to. And make you laugh. A lot. When he talks about his proposal to his bride of ten years, Megan Mullaly, of "Will and Grace" fame, he paints a Disney-meets-Hustler scene...

"Dropped to one knee, all of nature seemed to be copulating around us, beating the air into a syrup of carnal ecstasy. Pairs of sparrows furiously sixty-nining pinwheeled through the air like feathery fellating fireworks. The calla lilies were nodding approval at me as they began to gently butt-fuck one another."

Ah, Romance!

His devotion to his craft - acting and woodworking, his friends, and his family makes him seem unaffected by the virus that is celebrity. I doubt very much you will hear of a high speed chase or heroin bust involving one Nick Offerman. Point of fact, I have added him to the very short list of people I would actually cross the street to shake the hand of. Although, I would hope there would be a place to buy a glass of Lagavulin and discuss maple vs. oak.

Paddle your own canoe, indeed,

d

Oh, The Things I'll Do This Weekend... Maybe...

• Make list so I have accomplished at least one damn thing.
• Go for a walk with Lily, aka The Damn Dog... Friday night, as the weather is going to get nasty by Sunday... After writing this here blog.
• Make rude comments about something or someone.
• Re-tube bike tires. Not holding air... Must investigate.
• Watch "Metallica: Through The Never". 
• Laundry. This is on the list for every weekend.
• Finish Season 4 of "Mad Men". 
• Resist urge to smoke and drink while watching "Mad Men".
• Check the car cam video... Make sure it is doing as it should and I can see video on comp...
• I hear there is a sporting event on Sunday. May try to catch that.
• Discuss mutual hatred of GOP with the parents.
• Hit an ATM. Cash on hand, because one never knows when one might have to hit a Target.
• Load next book for consumption onto Nook. Thinking "This Town" by Leibovich. 
• Gym on Saturday. Straight cardio on the Elliptical for 45 minutes or so. 
• Gym on Sunday. Legs. Pretty early as it is supposed to get crazy cold.
• Remind parents as to why the GOP is utterly full of shit.
• Write a review of a book I just finished on this blog thingy. "Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living" by Nick Offerman. Short version - Damn funny.
• Figure out how to print this blog so I can have an actual checklist to check completed activities off said list.

The sub-task between each bullet point is "Think pure and impure thoughts" about my Lady. She is ever present on my mind.

I want to spend my life, with a girl like you,

d

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The Big Game... And by that I mean the damn Super Bowl.

This Sunday is the "Big Game".

A couple of things...

1) NFL, Fox, or whomever is in charge, please allow everyone else to say "Super Bowl". This did not start until a decade or so ago. "Big Game" is not really covert. I do dig Stephen Colbert's "Superb Owl" coverage though.

Are you that insecure or think you will lose that much revenue? Did someone actually do the cost analysis and crunch the numbers and made a presentation stating, "If we do not allow people outside the broadcasting family to use the words 'Super Bowl', we can make another $22.57." If the revenue LOST, not just revenue gained by others, by allowing other stations to say "Super Bowl" is more that 6 digits, I will be surprised and feel bad about this post. For a total of 4 seconds.

2) The NFL and Fox control the ads, not you. I had a verbal sparring session with a friend, who I respect a great deal, about a commercial getting pulled. It was for a gun company, and pretty much conveyed the message that without a fully automatic assault rifle, an ex Marine is powerless to keep his wife and infant daughter from waves of inevitable robberies and rapes.

My friend stated that it was hypocrisy and the "anti-gunners" at fault. I pointed out that it would only be hypocritical if an actual anti-gun ad was allowed and this commercial for penile compensators was not. My friend pointed out that they allow booze and sex ads. Apples and oranges. The people in charge are avoiding controversial TOPICS, not scantily clad women folk hawkin' beer. I don't want to see pro or anti gun ads, nor pro or anti abortion ads. "Guardians of the Galaxy" ad - Hells. Yes. Please. With a cherry on top.

3) Enough with the animal prognosticators. Unless you handcuff two cracked up monkeys together, one in Bronco's colors and the other sporting Seahawk's garb, and glue knives into their hands and let the Thunderdome begin... I am pretty tired of it. A porcupine has predicted the winner correctly three years in a row? That same porcupine ate it's own shit the other day and asked for seconds. "I am convinced it has the gift..." (and ate corn recently).

4) The Half Time Show - Unless the person performing is someone you are actually a fan of, it is usually A lengthy bathroom break. Bruno Mars may be a very talented individual. Great. Lessee... Bruce Springsteen, Prince (who put on a bloody fantastic show), the Stones, Paul McCartney... Bruno, you have been measured and have been found lacking. Severely

5) Winners and Losers. There is an "I" in Team, and it is pronounced "Manning". I have yet to hear anyone say a negative word about the guy and he seems to throw the ball really, really, sickeningly well. The Bronco's defense may be shaky and mostly anonymous, but they have an insane offensive safety net. In the AFC Championship game vs. New England, they had two drives of over seven minutes long. Basically, for a minimum of 25% of the game, they kept the other team from touching the ball.

The Seahawks are firing on EVERY cylinder. I like the cornerback Sherman. One may see his trash talking and after NFC Championship game interview and draw the conclusion that he is a brash upstart. The guy literally just made the game winning interception in the waning seconds securing his team's trip to the show... He was a bit amped. The guy is a Stanford grad and working on his Masters. Kudos. The QB Wilson is an omega level threat in multiple ways... and really, really, sickeningly young.

In conclusion... Seahawks will probably win, but I want the Broncos to.

Hut, hut, omaha, omaha,

d

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So... I need to write more...

I have been told to write more. Seeing as the last post was over two years ago, if I get one more this year, it will be a giant step forward in productivity.

There are times where I let a tirade go, only to have someone tell me a day later, "You should write stuff like that down."

What happens most of the time, is my philosophy is comprised of things I have heard (by smarter, more eloquent types) and have incorporated into my own personal philo. That mainly entails my adding multiple instances of the eff word in some form or fashion. Although, I have been cutting back on the swearing. Mom is so happy.

Every once and a while, an original nugget will spring forth. I will do my best to get them on here. If I see a movie, or finish a book - I will endeavor to give an opinion. If I want to remind myself what I did with my sweet heart, transcribing it will make it forever. If I remember a funny, quasi-legal story* from my capricious youth, it can, and will be, held against me at my Senate confirmation hearings.

It could happen.

Lastly... If you want me to go off on something... Send a request. Suggest a topic. Say something stupid.

d

* The names of the guilty co-conspirators will changed to protect their identities. HOWEVER... UstinDay or tED will not be that difficult to decipher.