This site gives me stats and number of times a blog post was viewed. It was there that I learned that a whopping twelve people read it. TWELVE. TWELVE! I hate that number. Probably due to it being my least favorite age... "Why are girls still icky.... BUT making me feel kinda funny and not AS icky???"
I was thinking about how I was kind of butt hurt by the whole affair. I was really happy with the way that post turned out and was looking forward to the adulation that was going to rain down from all of my fan. The last thing I was expecting was the sound of crickets.
It brought sharply to focus a phrase my Dad stopped me in my tracks with a decade or two ago... I was going to a parade, or making fun of a parade, I forget (Probably the later). He waxed philosophically, "Who is the parade really for, the people in the parade or for the people watching the parade?"
Mind Blah-own!
I like to think that I am not an attention whore. I have never felt the need to be the center of the party. I realize that if a party is for a specific person/event, they are the focus.
Having had an actual surprise birthday party thrown for me, where I WAS the focus, I remember being exhausted by the end of the day trying to be a good host at my house, and make sure everyone knew I was thankful for their appearance. Oh, and to let them know that heart attack inducing surprises are in store for each and every one of them.
Tiffany Rossetti... Watch your ass!
However, when I wrote that blog, and got abysmal readership... I might have uttered a "What the fuck?" or six... Am I really that thirsty (as the kids call it, and you add the words "for attention"... see all the time that saved????)?
After some soul searching... Yes. You damn right I want people to enjoy my writing. I don't just do this for my own amusement. I do this for the same reason people share anything... To inflict the demons from their head into yours! Share that burden, people!
The end game has always been that a reader suggests this blog to a friend. The friend has a chuckle, so they refer it to another friend. SOON, a person who has a shit tonne of money and is a publisher type person or something, says, "This is fantastic! Love this shit! I want to give that guy money to write!"
I would love, love, LOVE to get paid to this. First, I would be my own boss. Finally, a boss who I want to have sex with!!! Who am I kidding? I have sex with me for free anyways! And yes... You get what you paid for!
Second... I would smoke weed. A lot. As an "artist", I would think of it as a "creative juice extractor"... "Cancer preventative"? (Fuck you, FDA. 1000 times, Fuck you!)
Third... I would be getting paid to do something I like... I like writing and there is no paying "Lego Model Putter Together-er" jobs out there... Not even "Topless Lego Model Putter Together-er". I checked.
As the end of the year draws near, I will have some vay-kay time to burn. I know that I will kick out a blog or two over the holidays, maybe skipping next weekend to celebrate the Bebe Jeeezys' birthday. I know in my down time, I will be doing research on how to get my readership of the Bleed to go up.
Can you imagine a world with t-shirts that say "WOMEN AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO BLEED!" or "I FEEL THE NEED, THE NEED FOR THE BLEED!" or "THE HIGHPOINTBLEED TOLD ME TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK!"
It would make me smile... To see my Mom... Sporting a shirt that condones a penis getting pugilistically pummeled... Hell, I get misty eyed thinking about it.
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Of which, I have none. For fuck's sake, I only have 50 friends on Facebook. I keep that shit low. If you are my friend on Facebook, you are my close friend. I have known you for at least a decade OR at one time wanted to see you naked. All good.
That, more than anything, is the main culprit for the low readership the past few weeks. It is the only place I "advertise" a new posting. Once again... looking into remedying that.
Just think... All you peeps can do the "I was there from the beginning!" stance when I get all famous and stuff... Free t-shirts for the LOYAL peeps!
Final update... Still seeing the lady who has me smitten as a kitten. She called my writing "Brilliant". That means she is either 1) easily amused. 2) Has EXCELLENT taste, 3) Kinda likes me. Any way you slice it... I will take a piece.
We're on the road to nowhere,
d
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<<<<<remains a loyalist
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