Paddle. Check.

So, I am at a conference in Utah. Had some time between presentations, so I jotted down some blog ideas. Pretty much have the rest of the year covered! Utah was not as useless as one would think.

This one idea was about how white water rafting is dangerous. On so many levels.

First there is the fact you have to be properly equipped and in good shape in order to successfully engage in the activity.

I mean you have to know YOUR limitations... What you can and can't handle. If you are not fully prepared and in shape to tackle the river... You are going to hurt yourself, or someone else.

While I know there are other people involved, sometimes old friends, who you rely on, and sometimes it is new friends, bonding over the common factor of insanity that is white water rafting.

Secondly, there is boarding and embarking on the journey. This in and of itself is a trying process. You do not know what to expect. The brochures make it look exciting as all hell!, and if you talk to anyone who has done it before, they will tell you about how wonderful it is. Your really good friends will tell you about the pain they endured... The bruises and broken things... It happens.

The beginning is uncomfortable. New sensations. New things to learn and remember. The price of negligence is costly.

So... You are fully on the river... Flowing along. You have to be careful NOT to get off course. You can take the wrong fork and be completely and wholly fucked. There will be forks in the beginning that may be easy to recognize the proper channel to take will be obvious. Now, if the waters get choppy and rapid, the choices have to be made in a heartbeat, and the consequences dire...

There is also the peril of getting swept away. Not caring... Letting yourself go and just seeing "where the river takes you". It can be inviting and alluring to do so.. Throw out the "It is what it is!" or "YOLO!" (which I am happy to say is one of the good things to die in 2016) comment and just surrender.

The major drawback is that you may not like where you end up, and how costly is was to get there in money and time...

Speaking of time, it becomes an even more ethereal thing... Seeming to have stretches of forever, where you don't even notice or remember the last time you saw the river. Then there are times where you feel like there is not enough time, it is flying by so fast, before you know it... you have to say goodbye to the river...

Another thing, and this is just my personal opinion... when you are in a raft... and cruising along... Other rafts may show up... Rafts you have been on before... You know the raft... And while that journey ended, the raft was not really the issue... So... It may look tempting... BUT... beware.

Trying to navigate between two rafts... That is exactly when the waters will get choppy and agitated beyond comprehension. The likelihood of capsizing BOTH rafts, and a whole lot of misery, and drowning, is increased by a magnitude of eleventy billion. I avoid that shit like the plague.

If you communicate with people who are in the raft with you... And hell, even with the raft... With the river... The chances you will successfully navigate the churning, frothy, waters improve dramatically. It is a team effort.

Now... in every excursion on the river... There may come a time to bail. The waters are raging. There are rocks ahead. There are many, many signs telling you, SCREAMING at you, "Danger Ahead! Like 'you are going to end up bloody' Danger, and it is coming at YOU!"

This is the decision that will haunt you for a while. The decision you will look back on with regret. Wishing you had, or wishing you hadn't... You will look back and wonder "What if?", more than once.

If that point comes to fruition, you will wonder, "How in the name of fuck did I get here? I was smart. I planned ahead. I followed the rules." When white water rafting, the rules are in place, and through no fault of your own, you can find yourself in the aforementioned Pucker Factor 5000 Danger Zone.

Sadly... There may not even be ANY danger. The waters calm and serene... And you will still want to exit the raft. There is not any other rafts that have drawn your attention... There is no turbulence... Some white water rafting trips just don't work out... Nobody's fault. Just not the right time... You do your best to minimize the damage to yourself and others when this happens.

After all the warnings... You may be wondering, "Why in the name of all this is holy and unholy would anyone subject themselves to that???"

There is no feeling like it. Butterflies. Thrills. You feel like you have the opportunity to be the best version of you that you can be. You make memories. A shared experience that is yours to cherish forever. Regardless of what happens... If you have been on that river for a while, it has left your heart and soul with it's imprint.

You can't get that standing on the shore.

__________________________________________

Wait... I was thinking about relationships and falling for someone... NOT white water rafting. I would not go white water rafting if you paid me. And paid me well. Lots of zeros. Read it again, and do the analogy/metaphor thingy... Rafts are people... River is a relationship... That sorta shit.

I am in a relationship. While that nomenclature is pretty broad... It is easier to type than "We are enjoying each other's company and seeing what happens in an organic and natural progression (And we enjoy the kissing and fooling around)."

For the record.. Utah was bitter fucking cold. First time I have been on a plane that needed to be "de-iced", which makes ones sphincter twitch a tad... The best part of the trip was the sandwich in the airports Gordon Biersch's restaurant when departing the Beehive state.

The Artisan Grilled Cheese... Gruyere cheese, four strips of thick cut, hickory smoked, bacon, a flavorful avocado mayo spread on sourdough bread, grilled to perfection... FUCK YES! Can't recommend enough. And according to the internets... They are everywhere, not just in Salt Lake City International Airport! SCORE!

Parting shot... 10,000 some odd views on my little writings... I appreciate it...

Up the creek,

d

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