Lily

I know I usually throw one of these out there every Sunday. Given the events of this last week, I am just exhausted enough and have only one overriding thought...

My Lily. She is such a good, smart, loving, happy, WELL CARED FOR (Hear that? Sound of my own horn being tooted), spoiled, loved, idiotic, well meaning, compassionate, friendly, goofy, beautiful dog.

While an Atheist, I am not against the concept of a soul. Higher mammals have souls. Elephants mourn. Wolves mate for live. Dolphins have orgies. And dogs know when you are hurting.

There is no other soul on this planet I have had more contact or interaction with in the past 7 years.

She kept me on this planet when I really could have given two shits that I remained. I hate wearing a helmet when riding my bicycle... Even though it is an wicked awesome helmet... I would love to feel the wind... BUT... Knowing the driving styles of the local populace, I fear getting creamed by a nice elderly person. I do not fear my injuries, I fear someone not being here for Lil'.

I have thoughts about vacations and going on jaunts... Putting miles on my little coupe... But I don't like the thought of boarding Lil' for that long... hurts my heart for whatever reason. She would eat it up, of course and she could probably use a little more socializing.

Tomorrow, I get to call the veterinarian. I will tell her of the VAST, CONTINUING improvement. I will tell her the medication count. I will ask her the next steps. I will thank her profusely. I will probably cry at the reminder of the last time I talked to her and was getting prices for euthanasia... Just typing the fucking word is making my eyes brim with tears...

Tomorrow is the first time back at work since last Tuesday. I am super thankful for the understanding of my Boss. She went above and beyond in helping me. I owe her. She came and helped me transport Lily's new palatial crate because my sporty, little coupe could not accommodate it's bulk. I tried throwing her a 20 spot, but she would not hear of it.

I am actually looking forward to going mainly because I have been getting a tad stir crazy... I will be making trips home at lunch... To let her out, and give her meds... I will be thankful for the 1.5 miles commute...

My friends, my families, my people... All those who have sent the positive, healing thoughts out there... And yes, to those who have prayed... I sincerely thank you. I don't believe in any of that voodoo, but would sure as shit not turn it down either.

Friday, I was in the shower, and reminded the Universe of a couple of my redeeming actions... "Hey, Universe... Remember when I could have told that racist, fucking piece of shit, SrA Manning that I deflowered his "virgin fiance" 6 months before they met and did NOT?"

"Hey, Universe... Remember when I did not try to hurt X1 when she told me who she cheated on me with, and got pregnant by, and really, really could have?"

"Hey, Universe... Remember people who said I saved their life by just being there and listening?"

I did not do those things looking for recompense... I didn't do them to garner favor... I did them because they were the right things to do. But Friday, when confronted with the thought of losing my best friend... I was not above calling in some karma...

I think the "Black Cloud" is weakening and will go away all together... Now, it will be assessing the damage and rebuilding...Taking things slowly and trying to set up a warning system if, and inevitably when, another storm approaches...

The onslaught of emotions that this brought on... I can't catalog them all... Thursday, the 3rd, was a bad, bad day. I was in shock. I was prematurely grieving... I think she decided to get better to prove me wrong... Just to make sure I do not go back to a wardrobe consisting of black t-shirts. I love that damn dog.

I see you shiver with antici...

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This post brought to you by The Burden Brothers ("Conditional"... one of my favoritest... Ever), Simon & Garfunkel, Counting Crows, System of A Down, Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels, Slipknot, Hole, Cake, KISS, Ministry, Led Zeppelin, and the Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.

("SAY IT!!!"... pation.)